The ambiance of the pleasant spring day was only slightly ruined by the multiple teenage boys shouting “SHOW US YOUR LEGS, AZUL!”
Yuu’s hand tangled in their hair. “How did we even end up here?”
“I’m asking myself the same thing…”
Ace was jolted out of doodling unflattering portraits of the teachers due to a book nearly smashing his head. “Hey! Watch where you drop that thing!” He yelled at Deuce, who was pale as a sheet.
Grim reached one paw out and waved it in front of his face. “Hello? Deuce, are you still with us?”
“Octopi don’t have bones…” Deuce mumbled weakly.
Ace huffed and crossed his arms. “Thanks Deuce, very cool, that has absolutely nothing to do with anything so can you please—“
Yuu pursed their lips thoughtfully. “Azul’s an octoman, isn’t he?”
Deuce shot them a shaky smile, glad someone was able to catch on. “Exactly…”
Ace and Grim looked equally unamused. “And?”
Deuce pointed at the book he had dropped moments earlier.
“Marine Biology,” Ace read aloud as he leaned back in his chair, balancing on the back two legs. “Hm, sounds boring. And cold.”
“There are many benefits to…” Yuu muttered to themself.
Grim looked back and forth between Deuce and the book. “So… does Azul have bones?”
Ace laughed out loud. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course he— uh. Hm.” He scratched the back of his head. “Only one way to find out!”
He jumped out of his seat, causing it to topple over as he ran out of the library. “This is so much better than homework!” Ace called out as he disappeared around the corner.
Yuu and Deuce sighed in unison before racing after him, Grim riding on Deuce’s shoulders.
“Should’ve kept my mouth shut…” Deuce said regretfully to himself as they followed after their friend.
Yuu stopped suddenly and threw an arm out across Deuce’s chest. “Retreat, retreat—“ they hissed, ducking behind a thin pillar. “Tread carefully.”
Deuce shadowed them, poking his head out above theirs to peek around their makeshift camouflage.
“As you can see,” Ace was saying with his hands waving about in the air, “I am unarmed and mean no ill will towards you or either one of your fine, intimidating— HEY!”
He squawked ungracefully as Jade lifted him off his feet and began frisking him. Ace squirmed to no avail. In all likelihood, he was just making things worse for himself. “Whoa, there, Mr. frigid hands! At least buy me dinner first!”
Jade quickly finished up his search and dropped Ace unceremoniously on the floor after that comment.
Ace scrambled to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, chuckling nervously. “Just a joke, fellas…”
The three members of Octavinelle each raised an unimpressed eyebrow in unison.
Ace leaned to the side and decided to take a page out of Cater’s book. “Listen, Azul, sweetie… I’ve always admired how dedicated you are to… money… and I was wondering if—“
“Look out, boss!” Floyd yelled, pointing as Ace had started to crouch. “He wants to munch your ankles!”
Ace shot back up, alarmed. “No, I—“
“Only we’re allowed to do that!” Floyd continued, with a slight pout.
Azul tiredly rubbed at his forehead. Just when he thought he was used to Floyd’s eccentrics, he still managed to throw him off his rhythm once again. “…What?”
“WHAT?” Deuce, Grim, Yuu had about the same reaction, albeit much louder.
Three heads jerked in a nearly robotic motion as their position was immediately given away.
Deuce cursed under his breath and placed a firm hand on Yuu’s back. “Make a run for it. Now.”
Yuu sputtered, rooted to the spot. “But Ace—“
Deuce pushed them out from behind the column and ushered them forwards. “I’ll make a very nice speech at his funeral!”
Ace nearly jumped out of his skin as the tweels focused their steely gaze on him. “Yipes! Uh, 20 Thaumarks! You want it, go get it!” He threw the wad of cash over Jade’s right shoulder, then booked it in the opposite direction.
Floyd and Jade looked at each other. Jade shrugged. “Well, I do enjoy a good chase. Fufu~”
They sported matching, terrifying grins as they gave chase.
Azul glanced in the direction everyone had run, then at the abandoned pile of cash. He shrugged to himself and leaned over to retrieve it. “Money is money,” he hummed as he pocketed it.
"..."
Jack stared at his lunchmates across the table, thoroughly unimpressed. “…Why am I friends with all of you, again?”
Ace reached over to give him a friendly punch in the arm. “Come on, don’t tell me a tale of heroics doesn’t get the blood pumping!” He crumpled over his fist in pain. “Oww! Are you storing rocks in your sleeves or what?”
Yuu rolled their eyes and did their best to ignore the fact that Ace was now dramatically draped across their lap. “In our defense, we had no time to come up with a plan since Mr. Leeroy Jenkins decided to act first and think later.”
“I can walk and chew gum at the same time!” Ace protested, crossing his arms. “Wait, who’s Leeroy—“
“Hi guys, sorry I’m late.” Epel scurried over clutching his lunch tray. “Someone decided it was worth holding up the entire line to haggle over an extra pudding cup for seven minutes.”
Grim huffed. “Don’t worry, the only thing you missed was losing braincells.”
Ace frowned at that. "You're one to talk, you glorified hairball." He gave Grim's ear a tug as he sat back up.
Epel grinned as he took a seat. “Fun for the whole family.”
“Indeed,” Jack noted wryly.
“So what’s shakin’—“ Epel leaned forward and cleared his throat. “I mean, what’s the word?”
Deuce looked in both directions before leaning in and whispering, “Does Azul have leg bones?”
Epel drew back. “I mean, probably?”
Grim put his front paws on the table. “Can you prove it?”
Epel stared at him. “Yes,” he said sarcastically. “I’ve devoted my entire life to such a task as this.”
Ace snapped his fingers. “Ok, sassmaster.”
Deuce rubbed at his eyes. “I can’t sleep…” He groaned. “Three days and I’m still no closer to getting answers.”
Jack took a large bite of his hamburger. “Why don’t you just ask him? And not in the stupid roundabout way Trappola over here tried and epically failed at. It's not that difficult.”
Epel cocked his head. Deuce rested his chin in his hands. Ace reached over to pat Jack’s shoulder. “Oh, poor, sweet, naive Jack…”
Jack squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “And you all wonder why you always end up in scrapes day in and day out,” he muttered to himself.
“Oh!” Yuu slammed a palm down on the table. “We have P.E. with him next period! Azul hates P.E.! We can corner him then!”
Jack raised his eyebrows at their excitement. “I see no chance of this backfiring.”
Ace grinned and jumped up to slap Jack’s back. “Glad we agree, bud!” He doubled over in pain once again. “OWW!’
Deuce rose from his seat as well and moved to slap the back of Ace’s head. “Stop being so dramatic!”
Ace swatted Deuce away. “Domestic abuse!”
Jack stared into nothingness as Deuce and Ace stood, one on either side of him, slapping at each others’ hands right above the tips of his ears.
Yuu ignored the scene, choosing to focus on cracking the mystery that had been plaguing the four of them since Friday. Well, three and a half, since Grim seemed ambivalent about the whole thing.
“It’s time to put my experience with those stupid hobby horse races with my little cousins to good use.” They rubbed their hands together in anticipation as they walked across the green, nearly running another student over in the process.
“HUMAN! I know your eyesight is below average as you are not fae, but you could at least try to watch where you’re going—“
“Does Azul have leg bones,” Yuu replied.
Sebek stared at them blankly before finally producing a noise that has no written equivalent.
“Azul,” Yuu repeated. “Does he have leg bones?”
“I don’t know that!" Sebek sputtered, looking offended Yuu would even ask him that question in the first place. "Why would you even ask such a—“
“That’s a good question, actually,” Malleus, who was eavesdropping, interrupted. “Does he have leg bones?”
Sebek immediately changed his tune, snapping to attention with a crisp salute. “I SHALL FIND OUT FOR YOU, WAKA-SAMA!” He turned on his heel and began marching straight for an unsuspecting Azul, who was fighting with his broom. The broom appeared to be winning.
“FROSH FIGHTERS! GO! WE’RE STARTING EARLY!” Yuu shouted at the top of their lungs to their partners in crime.
"That's us!" Deuce exclaimed needlessly.
Ace snorted but didn't comment further.
Azul thought he was having a fever dream at first as a group of first years slowly descended on him. Couldn’t they see he was trying to concentrate?!
“Looks like someone isn’t so high and mighty without his terrifying twins to protect him,” Epel crooned as he circled around Azul’s broom.
Ace yanked him back by the shoulder. “Dude, tone it down a little. A lot.”
Azul did his best to ignore the group of idiots as sweat beads formed on his forehead. Flying class was humiliating enough as is without a bunch of freshmen watching and… what were they doing, anyway?
Deuce raised his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Mr. Ashengrotto, sir, this is a personal and potentially invasive question—“
“Can it wait?” Azul asked irritably as he hopped, first on one foot, then the other.
Deuce made a small strangled sound. “Not really, no. Uh, like I was saying… how do I put this delicately…”
“Also, can I have my 20 Thaumarks back?” Ace interrupted.
Epel facepalmed.
Azul stopped his pitiful attempts at taking flight to give Ace a deceptively artless smile. “I don’t know, can you?” Azul's smile widened at his own joke. Sometimes he impressed even himself with the depths of his own wit.
“You!” Sebek barked as he marched towards him, having kept a steady pace the entire time. “Do you have real, live, human legs?! Yes or no?!”
Azul whipped his head in the direction of the sudden shouter, baffled beyond words. “I—“ To buy, or...?
Jack jogged up to the group, ears flicking in irritation. “Fine, let’s get this over with. Azul, I’m sorry to bother you like this, but w—”
“LEG BOOONNNEEESSSS!” Yuu let out a guttural scream as they dove for Azul’s lower half. Azul quickly sidestepped them, and they ended up crashing into Epel instead. “DANGIT!”
Azul let out a sensible chuckle at the scene before noticing the rest of the first years around him staring at him with equal determination.
“Oh, for the love of…” He breathed out before flinging his broom at the biggest threat (Jack), then booking it across the lawn faster than he’s ever run in his life.
Coach Vargas felt a swell of pride in his chest. “YES, ASHENGROTTO! GO GO GO! LIFT THOSE KNEES! YOU ARE THE WIND!”
Ace and Deuce quickly scrambled over Epel and Yuu as they snapped out of their shock at actually seeing Azul run.
“I NEED TO KNOOOWWW!” Deuce wailed helplessly.
Azul glanced over his shoulder and immediately regretted it as he was met with the sight of Ace’s crazy eyes.
“SHOW US YOUR BONES, AZUL!” Ace screamed.
Epel waved his arms in the air as he ran. “CIRCLE! CIRCLE AROUND! CUT HIM OFF!”
“YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!” Sebek shouted back.
“FINE, THEN YOU COME UP WITH A PLAN THEN! Friggin’ son of a bee sting,” Epel spat to himself.
Azul wondered what he had done to offend the Great 7 for his day to pan out this horridly, heart pounding out of his chest.
Jack didn't bother running alongside the group. He sat down under a tree and decided to wait until the rest of them were thoroughly tired out. Sure, he could outlast them all easily, but he wasn’t going to contribute to the collective stupidity any more than he had to.
Yuu slowed to a stop and bent over with their hands on their knees, gasping for air. They threw themselves down on the ground next to Jack. “How did we even end up here?” They moaned pitifully, one hand on their head.
Jack shook his head and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. “I’m asking myself the same thing.”
Ok so I’m leaving a kinda big summary here while I make a good script translation later
Its basically a dumbass squad moment and I’m LIVING for it I absolutely loved this event and Ace’s card story, so glad I got it!!
So basically his card story starts right after the event story, the ghosts have left, leaving their mess behind, so Crowley orders all the first years to clean up the cafeteria before they go back to their dorm, including Grim and MC
There’s a lot to clean up and Ace starts whining about how the ghosts troubled them to the very end, and that he feels he could never understand the ghost bride who was chasing after love for 500 years
This makes Epel curious and asks Ace if he’s never been in love before, because he felt it was unexpected of Ace to say so
Ace says he has actually been in a relationship before, but it didn’t work out: the girl would never like thrill rides in amusement parks, would stop to take pics of cute things all the time, would only watch romance movies, etc, so he decided to start ignoring her(wow Ace real smooth)
Apparently later he was called out by a group of girls he doesn’t even know and they started whaling on him, asking why he dumped her etc etc, and after that he decided to never be in a relationship again and that he’s fine just chilling with his dudes lmao
Soon Deuce and Jack wander over, wondering what they’re talking about. Ace immediately changes the subject and focuses on Deuce, pointing out how Deuce completely froze up in front of the ghost bride when it was his turn. Deuce tries to defend himself, saying it couldn’t be helped since he’s never had a chance to interact with women before(aw)
Ace then asks Deuce whether he was popular in middle school, since he apparently went to a co-ed as well, and thought Deuce’s ‘bad boy’ vibe would be a hit. Deuce says no, no woman other than his mother would talk to him, not even the boys could look him properly in the eye. Turns out he looked a lot scarier than expected lmao, the poor guy
Next Ace moves on to Jack, thinking he could never be popular with that scary face. Jack tells him to lay off, and that it doesn’t matter anyways. The wolf people prefer to have one mate for life, so Jack doesn’t need to be popular, he only needs to find the right person and would cherish them for life(omg cutie...)
The others find this too heavy for their tastes tho lmao, they’re like”You’re in highschool, loosen up a bit!”
Next comes Epel, and Ace assumes he must’ve been very popular with his cute looks, but Epel tells them he’s from a small village so the only people around him were all old, and he only met people around his age at NRC, so that’s a bust.
Finally Sebek marches over, telling them they should get back to work. Ace tells him he’s the worst off from the bunch, and Sebek brushes him off saying he has no time for romance anyways since he’s busy guarding Malleus. Ace asks him “but what if you meet someone you like? Would you talk their ear off about Malleus too” lmfao
Sebek says no, he has prepared for such a scenario by asking Lilia, who’s advice was as follows:
To correspond using letters, write down your feelings, send a picture of yourself smiling every 3rd letter, and keep repeating this until the 25th full moon passes. After that, go to a bench in the pasrk and leave just enough space for another person to sit
Obviously, he was fooling around as usual but Sebek believes him, as usual lmao.
But Ace did have a takeaway from Sebek’s whole conversation: Sebek said they were students and that they should focus on their studies, this stuck out to Ace, who was reminded of how cool Riddle looked when he stayed back to hold off the ghosts. Ace wants to study more magic so that one day he can wow his seniors too
He’s sad the event ended with no chance to show off his cool side, but Ortho interjects by saying he was plenty cool when he rushed in to object the marriage. Ace tries to downplay his speech(which was heartfelt and good you should read the event story from somewhere) but Ortho’s data doesn’t lie and he could tell Ace was having a ‘real’ moment at the time. Thinking back to Ace’s speech, about how “the person you should spend your life with is the one who laughs and cries with you, who is always by your side through hardships” was all his heartfelt feelings, the others decide to start making fun of him now. Epel missed the actual moment so he asked Ortho if he could watch his recording, now everyone wants in on it and Ace gets really embarrassed and tells them to give him a break
..phew that was really long but I LOVED IT
I will make the script tl for this later but hope you enjoyed this dumbass bonding as much as I did! Ace really shined in this event, and had some more depth added to him past his cynicism and jokes, really well done!
