Fair warning to whomever reads this: I'm not a happy camper, so lots of mumbling and complaining are forthcoming. I'm going to be that nasty tyke at a birthday party who smashes the cake just to see everyone else cry. I did not like this movie. Not one bit. I don't know if it's because I hold fond memories of the original Dumbo (1941), or because every single second of this new live-action Dumbo is a contrived, boring, predictable mess, from the opening scene of a CGI train chugging across the southern U.S. to the inevitable happy ending where everything is bright and sunny in Disney land. I won't hold it against you if you choose to leave now.
For those staying behind, I shall get on with it. This new Dumbo takes place in 1919, where a travelling carnival is delighted to welcome a newborn elephant into its troupe. But wait, how can this be? His ears - they're huge and disgusting! Poor little Dumbo is mocked as he trips over them. The crowds laugh and hurl peanuts at him. The ringleader, Max Medici (Danny DeVito), wants him gone for good. The only people who care for him are Milly and Joe (a perpetually wooden Nico Parker, and Finley Hobbins). They are the children of Holt Farrier (Colin Farrell), who was once the carnival's star attraction before the Great War removed one of his arms.
Milly? Joe? Holt? Who the heck are these people? - you ask. Fair question. The original Dumbo, of course, was an animation about the friendship between two animals. The humans were tertiary, ornamental figures who barely spoke. This remake envisions a story where the humans are front and centre, and Dumbo is a kind of supporting superstar. Naturally, the entire cast is brand new. This might've worked if Ehren Kruger, responsible for the screenplay, had devised a story that was as imaginative and challenging as the original. Alas, it's another old dusty tale of the humble family business taken over by the ruthless tycoon.
The tycoon this time is Vandevere, played by Michael Keaton in one of Keaton's most bewildering and dangerously absurd performances. Vandevere, who runs an impossibly modern circus complex, hears of the infamous flying pachyderm and offers to merge Max Medici's troupe with his own. Max has obviously never seen a movie in his life so can't possibly imagine that Vandevere means to swindle him. Meanwhile, you might've realised how little of Dumbo the Elephant I am mentioning. That is because Dumbo doesn't do anything worth mentioning, except fall from great heights before swooping up at the last second, accompanied by such uplifting music. There is a reason the original ran for only 64 minutes.
Couldn't Kruger have thought of anything better for these characters to do? Not a single one is remotely convincing, with emotions and thoughts of their own. Everyone is a marionette, hoisted by strings, controlled by the devices of the plot, yanked this way and that. We, as the viewers, are forced into feeling. Oh, Dumbo is born. How adorable! Dumbo's mother is declared insane and shipped away. How tragic! Don't worry, the children will save the day. Yay! But wait, Vandevere is sinister! Gasp! His prima trapeze artist Colette (Eva Green) looks like a villain but is actually a real softie who learns to love Dumbo. Aww! You see how it goes. There is absolutely zero room for these characters to behave like human beings, to make decisions that surprise, enchant, inspire. There is no ingenuity, only cliché upon cliché. Everything that happens is a mechanical step toward a robotic conclusion. If you don't think that's sad, just remember how the best Disney movies continue to move us in ways we thought we had forgotten.
Maybe I'm being excessively grumpy. Maybe this new Dumbo isn't so bad, and it simply caught me on the wrong day, at the wrong time, in the wrong frame of mind. It's possible. Perhaps one day down the line I will revisit it and give its director Tim Burton a pat on the back. But right now, at this very moment, it fills me with nothing but contempt. No one asked for this remake. The least they could've done was show us why we secretly needed it.
Stray Observations
The song "Baby Mine", which is performed by a character in the movie, is at least 45 years ahead of its time in terms of composition and melody.
It's 1919, people. Could rickety wooden trucks back then really support the weight of fully grown Asian elephants?
There's a scene where Michael Keaton furiously and frantically destroys a command centre. It's one of the most ridiculously stupid scenes I've ever witnessed.
A circus in 1919 adopting progressive Cirque du Soleil policies? Not on your life, buddy.
Michael Buffer's cameo is either misplaced or a stroke of genius.
I’m kind of over these Disney live action remakes and we’re just so early in the process. This does not bode well for the rest of my 2019 or the years to come. Granted, Dumbo is one of the best candidates for remaking because 1) depressing and 2) racist, even for 1941. So there’s nowhere to go but up, right? Well...
How can I put this - all the things that made the film better than the original made it SO MUCH BETTER. But all the things that made it worse made it...worse, but in such a boring way. I’m happy the virulent racism has gone by the wayside but I’d rather have a crazy technicolor nightmare than a bland bowl of oatmeal with some CGI on top. The basic story remains the same - flying elephant, big ears, magic feather, etc - but with some extra set dressing of a World War I veteran (Colin Farrell) coming back to work in a rinky dink circus run by Danny Devito, which is then bought out by an evil millionaire (is there any other kind?) played by Michael Keaton.
Some thoughts:
Pros: the pink elephants are no longer life-ruining nightmare fuel. Cons: most other things about this movie. Literally at one point an announcer yells LET’S GET READY FOR DUMBOOOOO and if that doesn’t make your brain want to shrivel up into a hole and die, I don’t know what will.
I fucking love circus stories. If you haven’t already, do yourself a favor and read one of my favorite books of all time, The Circus in Winter by Cathy Day. In terms of circus aesthetics, Tim Burton’s choices are just the right amount of charming/creepy, that perfect blend of things meant to be colorful and joyful but derelict and rundown.
God, this monkey is super disturbing looking. Can we make an agreement as a people to stop with the CGI monkeys? Apes in Planet of the Apes are fine, but I draw the line at these horrifying zombie Capuchins.
I could have lived my whole life without seeing Danny Devito take a bath.
However, I am solidly here for Eva Green just playing herself, I assume, as a mysterious French acrobat who’s probably killed a man with a high heel at some point.
Here’s my fundamental issue with the premise of this film - in what universe are big elephant ears a bad thing? That’s one of the things elephants are known for, right? Like, the Navajo invented fry bread around 1864 and white people stole the idea like we stole everything else and started calling fried dough elephant ears after that - I just feel like as a rule, people are PRO large elephant ears. But then arbitrarily, these circus hands are making fun of the literal cutest baby angel to ever be born? It makes no goddamn sense.
Speaking of, what is UP with this guy who hates elephants? Who the fuck hates elephants? They can make art, and they hold funerals for their dead, and also they’re elephants I just can’t with this insane anti-elephant prejudice.
Did I Cry? Not as much as I expected to, given that river of tears during the trailer. But yes, I did during “Baby of Mine” and pretty much every time Dumbo doesn’t think he should fly but then at the last moment he does.
Like the first big flying scene is a real emotional rollercoaster - the clown makeup is very upsetting, and he’s so scared, and then there’s that FUCKING MONKEY and then Dumbo actually flies. It’s just a lot for my poor heart to take.
What accent is Michael Keaton doing? In fact what movie does he think he’s in? He’s doing kind of a weird, old timey Mid-Atlantic evil Scooby Doo villain thing, which tracks for a Disney movie, but he’s kinda...bloodless? He’s nefarious in an “I’ve got more money than God” kinda way, but frankly, I think Jeff Bezos is a much scarier dude. Also? His big “vanquishment” at the end? He’s just going to get so much insurance money. Like. So much. He’s not even defeated. If anything, you made him even richer. I would ask “what kind of fucked up kid’s movie is this” but you know what, Dumbo is, in general, pretty damn bleak and disturbing, so maybe these decisions were thematic in nature. Hey kids, guess what, everything you love will be taken from you and the rich get richer every day! *Disney castle logo appears*
Can you even book tickets for elephants on a boat to India? They’re domesticated! How will they feed themselves??
On a scale of eh to meh, this falls solidly into the bleh category. Controversial opinion - cut out 2/3 of the film, make it a silent movie that’s all about Dumbo and his learning to believe in his magical abilities, scrap all the people because literally who cares about them, end it with him finding his mother and bringing her back to the circus family she knows and loves. BOOM. I fixed your fucking childhood.
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I was wary after 2017's Beauty and the Beast and now, this remake of Dumbo has killed all hope I had for the upcoming remakes of Aladdin and The Lion King. Tim Burton should’ve been a shoo-in but this update contains none of the emotion, magic or joy of the 1941 original.
In 1919, World War I amputee Holt Farrier (Colin Farrell) returns to the traveling circus where he and his children work to take care of Max Medici’s new star attraction: a baby elephant. To their dismay, baby “Dumbo” is born with freakishly enormous ears. When Milly (Nico Parker) and Joe (Finley Hobbins) realize Dumbo can use his ears to fly, the circus sees an initial boom in revenue. This success draws the attention of V. A. Vandevere (Michael Keaton), a ruthless amusement park owner.
Unfortunately, all of the story’s changes have stripped the film of its power and emotions. When Dumbo and his mother are separated, you feel NOTHING because the characters are not well developed. The antagonists are villainous to the point of absurdity and the heroes so bland you forget about them the instant the picture concludes. Sure Dumbo looks cute but there’s a void behind the pachyderm’s big blue eyes and when the children discover how he manages to fly, you’ve instantly mapped out his entire story arc. At first, you think there’s no way they’re going to do a “magic feather” plot. It’s a trope so old and so familiar I think they named it after the original Dumbo… a movie that’s nearly 80! But here we are and yup… they’re doing it.
You can see some of Tim Burton’s signatures flair here and there - from the circus setting to the penchant for misfit’s stories to the casting of Danny Devito (he plays Max Medici), Eva Green (as a trapeze artist) and Keaton. In terms of visuals, it looks good, particularly Dumbo. The problem isn’t him, it’s the screenplay by Ehren Kruger, which is generic and lifeless. Every single thing you see here, you’ve seen better elsewhere. There’s not a frame which stands out except perhaps the picture’s final shot, which caps off the story nicely.
I hate to keep comparing this new Dumbo to the old one. I’m sure some people who are thinking of checking this one out have never seen the original but it can’t be helped. This remake is long, hollow, populated with shallow characters, and it lacks emotion. The performances are good, the visuals are good but they don’t top what we’ve seen before, not even close. The animated rendition of “Pink Elephants on Parade” imprinted itself into your psyche instantly. I still tear up just thinking about "Baby Mine". The same can’t be said about anything in this film. It’s a picture without purpose. (3D Theatrical version on the big screen, March 31, 2019)
Walt Disney’s fourth animated feature may be his most emotional. Dumbo packs a wide gamut of emotions and an intensity not found in many children’s films - all within its 64-minute running time.
In a traveling circus, a stork delivers to an elephant named Mrs. Jumbo (voiced by Verna Felton) the baby she’s been yearning for. Jumbo Junior is soon renamed “Dumbo” because of his oversized ears. Shunned by his kind and separated from his mother, Dumbo’s only friend is Timothy Q. Mouse (Edward Brophy), who searches for a way to earn the child some respect.
Everyone remembers the film's most powerful scenes: Dumbo being teased by the visitors and other elephants, his mother’s unjust imprisonment after she lashes out against them, and the fleeting moments of comfort they share afterward. It’s a challenge not to shed tears during Baby Mine because it pulls no punches. The bullies aren’t just mean, they’re cruel. The humiliation Dumbo suffers cuts deep. The character's loneliness seems inescapable. Even with Timothy at his side, everything happening feels so big and overwhelming it doesn't matter that Dumbo never utters a word. The pathos you feel is second to none. You don’t often see that kind of rawness in children’s movies (certainly not today).
Alternatively, you may argue the best scene is the famous Pink Elephants on Parade sequence. It’s hard to argue. Memorable, hilarious and simultaneously terrifying, it’s an amazing display of top-notch animation in which creatures morph and contort in impossible ways. Set to that catchy tune, it’s best described as a pleasant nightmare you're compelled to revisit over-and-over.
Whether Dumbo is too intense for young children is unimportant, when weighed against what it excels at. I will criticize its look, however. After the twin box office disappointments of Fantasia and Pinocchio (which are, ironically, some of the cannon’s best films) the animation budget was slashed, and it shows. Sometimes it’s unnoticeable but next to the lavish backgrounds of Bambi (1942), not so much. The humans, in particular, often lack definition.
As for the famous crows... I don’t really have an opinion on them. The movie’s nearly 80 years old so their scenes probably wouldn’t be done the same way today. I find the characters likable and their dialogue clever. Your opinion might differ. That’s ok. Many aspects of Dumbo place it during a specific time and place in film history, for the better. The moments where it doesn't hold back or where it frightens, the circus setting (remember those? they don't really exist anymore), even the songs and the mute hero give the film a bold identity, they make it stand out.
Dumbo is an elongated Silly Symphony with the power of true-life stories. You immediately understand why it’s endured and why, despite its flaws, many viewers consider it their favorite. (On Blu-ray, March 24, 2019)
I'm late to the circus, but I finally had a chance to see the live action adaptation of one of Walt Disney's most beloved animated classics. Here are my thoughts
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boom reviews, dumbo, You have to feel sorry for the Disney empire. With clearly not making near enough moolah from Marvel Studios, 20th Century Fox, Pixar, Lucasfilm etc, they’re having to resort to dusting down their older titles, sprucing them up and releasing remakes just to maintain their mega-huge profit margins. Sad times indeed.
Clowny Quin is joined by her pet rat Chip to discuss the live action remake of Dumbo. Quin's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatmissquin/ Quin's Facebo...
