@dustandhalos replied to your post: me, a grocery shopping noob, grocery shopping...
I’ve been there tbh
[a picture: drawsshits balancing two containers of salad, a slab of steak, and a box of mushrooms in one arm while trying to grab a bag of dumplings and a bottle of orange juice on the other]
Art trade with the incredible @dustandhalosart of their lovely OC Alistair ♥ It was a total pleasure! Please please check out their half of the trade, I’m just so in love with it!! Thank you again ♥
For @dustandhalosart ; contract killer Jo/intelligence agent Seb AU
They were known as the Kingmakers, but to Agent Sebastian Castellanos they were just a pain the ass.
Elusive siblings who were the contracted killers of the elite, they evaded capture over and over again with seemingly well practiced ease. Their presence could topple regimes by taking out key figures and make kings out of paupers- for those that could afford them of course.
In his decade of service for the CIA, Sebastian had never come across anyone as frustrating as Joseph and Hannah Oda. They hopped across countries and states, leaving bodies in their wake. The Canadian Security Intelligence Service were hell-bent on catching the older sister, but the younger brother was the one America scrambled to catch.
Sebastian, like those before him, underestimated the willowy man with the slightly smaller frame and nonchalant smile. How hard could it be to catch one guy? Two failed detainments, three injured agents and a bullet in the kneecap later he realized the answer was 'hard as fuck’.
Joseph had a tendency to blend and hide in plain sight, appearing at times like a cheery tourist or perhaps a stern businessman or even as a police detective; a chameleon in crime.
A portfolio far too extensive for his liking, Sebastian had been chasing the sniper for close to two years now though his assassinations stretched long before Sebastian’s tenure with the intelligence agency.
So to say it had been a surprise to find the sniper in his kitchen would have been a gross understatement.
“Agent Castellanos.” The sniper greeted with a grin as Sebastian pointed his gun at him.
“Joseph Oda.”
“Beer?” He held one out, wiggling it enticingly.
“You’re offering me one of my own beers?”
“Lubricant for conversation, or so I’m told.” Joseph shrugged, setting it on the breakfast counter and nudging it towards Sebastian before fetching one for himself. “We have a lot to talk about.”
“We have nothing to talk about. I’m arresting you for-”
“Ruben Victoriano is making an appearance at the charity gala on Friday night.”
He felt his blood run cold. The Victoriano Empire was a deadly web stretched across the city and anyone caught in its sticky vice never escaped alive. If there was one man more dangerous than the Kingmakers combined, it was Ruben Victoriano. Cautiously he picked up the beer and took a seat on the barstool. Joseph grinned triumphantly, plucking one for himself before leaning against the counter.
“Nice place you’ve got here. If a bit on the smaller side.” The sniper commented, surveying his surroundings. “Security’s not so great though.”
“Are you going to tell me more about Victoriano or are you going to make small talk all night?” Sebastian bristled, before adding. “It’s just me, anyway, why would I need a bigger place?”
Joseph didn’t answer that, instead he just offered a grin and began to drink. After a moment he gestured towards him with the bottle. “I have a client personally invested in seeing Ruben fall.”
“So why haven’t you taken him out?” Sebastian watched Joseph’s expression carefully as the man feigned nonchalance and took a long drink from the bottle.
“Because they would rather a very public dismantling of his empire over a quick and out of sight death.”
“You want me to arrest him?” He scoffed, taking a swig of his own drink before shaking his head. “We’ve tried it a hundred times. Nothing sticks.”
“Let my client handle that.” Joseph placated, dark eyes sparked with amusement. “Have you been to L'Entrecôte?”
“What?” Sebastian blinked at the sudden change in subject. “The fancy French place?”
“Dinner for two, tomorrow at 8pm.” The assassin smiled, reaching across to pat Sebastian’s hand. “Dress neatly and don’t be late.”
“You’re crazy if you think I’m-” Sebastian trailed off as the man simply winked at him and climbed out the window, dropping down onto the fire escape and vanishing a moment later.
*~*
The agent scrubbed up well, Joseph thought to himself as he watched Sebastian enter the restaurant. He’d even combed his hair.
“Hey there partner.” He greeted, enjoying the way Sebastian bristled up like a big shaggy wolf with its hackles raised.
“We are not-” Realizing the futility, he sighed and grumbled. “What are we even doing here?”
“Having dinner of course.” Joseph patted his shoulder before turning to the waiter at the front desk. “Bonsoir. Nous avons une réservation pour Joseph à 20 heures.”
He could practically feel the surprise emanating from Sebastian as he spoke to the waiter in French. Hiding the smug smile was proving a monumental task as they were guided to the their table, but Joseph was never one to back down from a challenge.
“I didn’t know you could speak French.” Sebastian expressed his surprise verbally as Joseph opened the menu.
“Don’t let the eyes fool you, I’m more Canadian than Japanese.” A twinge of discomfort. “That’s a sad backstory for another time. How do you like your steak?”
“Uh, medium?” Sebastian was still looking at him as if he’d grown another set of ears on the top of his head.
“Est-ce que vous voulez commander?” The waiter leaned down, pen and pad at the ready.
“J'aimerais commander...” He ordered on Sebastian’s behalf, pointedly feigning ignorance as the man regarded him with utter fascination even though Joseph was having the most mundane of conversations with the waiter. Two steaks, one rare and one medium rare and a bottle of red from 1978.
“I’m guessing your client is here somewhere?” Sebastian regarded him warily once the waiter left. “Sussing me out?”
“They know more about you than you think, Sebastian.” Joseph smiled, before lowering his head in a slight nod. “And yes, you are correct. They wanted assurance you would be on board.”
“I haven’t committed to anything yet.” He bristled again, and Joseph wondered what it would be like to have an attack dog like Sebastian Castellanos. “So talk and I’ll let you know if I’m onboard.”
He knew better than to look in their direction but he could feel himself being watched. His client, as Sebastian guessed correctly, arranged for the dinner to be very public. They wanted to gauge the agent’s reactions, and keep an eye on Joseph too, to ensure he’d stick to the mission.
Even as he talked and they ate and Sebastian loosened up a fraction, Joseph couldn’t shake the feeling of apprehension crawling up his spine. The mission he told Sebastian, and the mission he had been given were two entirely different things.
“Why did you choose me?” Sebastian asked as Joseph motioned for the waiter to top up his wine glass. “I’m not at the top of the food chain. There are a lot of people who could handle this mission a lot better than me.”
“No one can handle this mission better than you.” He corrected. “My client was very specific about your involvement.”
“I told you I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”
“The Victoriano Empire in ruins. What more do you want?” Joseph rolled his eyes, the slide of his knife clean and swift across the steak in a gesture a bit too uncomfortable for Sebastian.
“At what cost, though?” Sebastian scoffed. “I know you, Joseph Oda. The people who hire you and your sister aren’t people I’d trust.”
Don’t be so sure.
“You know nothing.” He snapped curtly. “The destruction of the Victoriano Empire, or a lifetime watching a man destroy the city and its inhabitants around you. Which do you prefer?”
He kept his gaze steady and unflinching as Sebastian mulled over his words. When the man finally spoke, it was with conviction.
“What do I need to do?”
*~*
He barely glanced at the top file- there wasn’t a single person in the entire state who didn’t know Ruben Victoriano, but it was the second file that drew his brows up in curiosity.
“Two targets?”
“A little more complicated than that, but paid for accordingly, with extra allowances for resources.”
“Oh?”
“The Administrator wishes for the capture of Ruben Victoriano to be very public, very official.” The messenger explained patiently, something cold and calculating in her striking light eyes. “The CIA Agent will provide the necessary presence. He was chosen because of his prior history in tracking you.”
“Sebastian Castellanos.” Joseph couldn’t help the grin spreading on his face. “Stubborn one, that man.”
A tired but determined portrait stared up at him from the file.
“We have an insider already, who will ensure everything runs smoothly.” She tapped a pin on her lapel. “Come in.”
The door behind her opened and another woman entered the room.
“This is Agent Kidman. She’s been with the CIA for ten months now and works closely with Agent Castellanos.”
“Enchanté.” Joseph shook her offered hand.
“Ruben will be attending a charity gala at the town hall in a week’s time.” The messenger held out a copy of the files to Agent Kidman. “Have Agent Castellanos attend and arrange for him to meet Ruben face to face on the left side of the stage after the auctions. The shot must come from the upper east side gantry.”
“Not an arrest but a casualty?” Joseph frowned. “I thought you wanted this to be a very public and very official arrest- not an execution.”
“Not a casualty. He mustn’t die.” She corrected with a stern glance. “The shot must be non-fatal. He must need hospitalization. We will take care of the rest.”
“Then what’s Agent Castellanos involved for?”
“The necessary collateral.”
He had worked for his fair share of politicians and patriarchs, as dirty as the bottom of the Hudson, but there was something about this one. This messenger and her mysterious ‘Administrator’ and their equally mysterious young lackey. Something cold and methodical and efficient. A kingdom in the making.
Joseph Oda was, after all, a Kingmaker and they seemed in the process of making a King.
“Whether he lives or dies does not matter to us.” She held out her tablet and tapped the screen to show proof of a money transfer. “But it needs to be made public that the CIA are not behind the assassination attempt.”
“And that I am?” Joseph scoffed, hands balling into fists. The messenger offered a handshake.
“We will take care of the rest.” She repeated firmly as a way of closing the conversation, shaking his hand firmly. “Bonne chance, Kingmaker.”
*~*
“Hey there partner.” Joseph greeted, enjoying the way Sebastian bristled up like a big shaggy wolf with its hackles raised. “Tuxedos suit you.”
“I feel like I’m being choked.” Sebastian muttered, tugging at the bowtie secure at the dip of his throat. “Your client here?”
“Of course.” He tipped his head slightly. “Your fellow agent?”
“The Kid’s casing the joint, just like you asked.” Reaching out, Sebastian snagged two champagne flutes and offered one to Joseph.
“Good. Then all is going according to plan.” Accepting the glass, he took a sip before looping his arm through Sebastian’s.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re my Plus One.” Joseph smiled charmingly. “Didn’t you read your invitation?”
“You’re a piece of work, Joseph Oda.”
“Aren’t I just?” A cheeky wink and a grin as Sebastian shook his head.
“Ladies, Gentlemen and distinguished guests- if you could all please make your way to your tables, we will begin the charity auctions.”
“I’m in the mood for skiing and cuddling up by the fire in a cosy cabin. White Mountain’s beautiful this time of year. You?” Joseph offered him the auction booklet as Sebastian groaned in disapproval.
“Do you ever stop?”
“Are you ever any fun?” Joseph quipped, leaning to peer at the booklet as Sebastian flipped through its pages. “How about a weekend at the Waldorf-Astoria?”
“I’d rather the cabin in the mountains to be honest.” Sebastian admitted. “I don’t do too well with all this high brow stuff.”
“I would never have guessed.”
“Can it or I’ll throw you in the police van outside.”
“I’d like to see you try.” Joseph patted his hand. “Your agent in position?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He narrowed his eyes as the MC took her place at the podium. “Let’s begin.”
The rich bloated men and their plastic wives were necessary annoyances in the grand scheme of things. They funnelled money, resources and intelligence in exchange for their lifestyles. And their lives.
Ruben watched them clamber for attention, all trying to outdo each other in their bidding to prove their charitable intents. Pitiful, really.
But useful to placate the public. As was his attendance here rather than his usual research laboratory; the circus needed to be brought to the media sometimes.
So yes he’d eat and drink and nod and feign smiles throughout the night. He’d even tolerate some handshakes if needed.
Maybe.
*~*
All you have to do is shake his hand and make small talk.
Sebastian gritted his teeth, setting aside his personal disgust. He’d sat through near two hours of the dinner and auction, which was now drawing to a close. Joseph had even enthusiastically bid on some fancy designer scarf and had trotted off happily to claim his prize.
Kidman appeared at his side, taking a deep breath to steady herself.
“Ready?”
“You’re gonna stop me from punching him, aren’t you?” Sebastian chuckled as Kidman made a -maybe- gesture with her hands.
“I may let you get a hit in before I stop you.”
They walked towards the gaggle of people crowding Ruben, including a rather large bodyguard with a hulking frame barely contained in a suit.
“Agent Castellanos.” Ruben crooked his thin lips up into some semblance of a smile.
“Mr Victoriano.” He extended his hand, not really expecting the firm handshake in return.
“Good to see the CIA setting aside their differences and joining us for this charitable cause.”
“We do what we must for the greater good, Mr Victoriano.” His hand was deathly cold, and Sebastian let it go sooner than it was polite to do so. Where was Joseph? He was supposed to be here for the arrest, how long did it take to pay for a damn scarf?
*~*
Alouette, gentille alouette
Joseph whistled soft and low as he brushed past the security guards, making his way up the steps and onto the gantry.
Alouette, je te plumerai.
The janitor’s closet was slightly ajar and Joseph reached inside to pull out a large box marked ‘toilet paper’. The rifle was still shiny, its scope polished and without a scratch. Brand new and one time use only.
Je te plumerai la tête,
Je te plumerai la tête.
Sister of mine, what King are you making today? Joseph’s thoughts wandered to his older sister, currently in the Netherlands on assignment as he performed the necessary checks on the rifle. They rarely saw each other outside of Skype nowadays but such was their way of life. If he closed his eyes he could imagine them in the playground singing songs as they kicked up the autumn leaves. Hannah had such a pretty voice, and she’d sing as he whistled and life was much simpler back then. Life was school and play and their father’s kind eyes and their mother’s gentle smile.
The itch hadn’t existed, the incessant itch just behind his temples under his skull. There had been a boy, bigger than the both of them, who pulled at the corners of his eyes and taunted them about their faces, their parents’ accents, their food.
There had been a boy, bigger than the both of them, and then he was found in the creek a week later bloated and rotting.
The itch dulled temporarily and Hannah squeezed his hand. See how much better everyone’s lives are with him gone now, she’d nodded sagely, King of the playground no longer; like the lark singing too loudly and waking them from sleep, its feathers were plucked in retribution until it sang no more.
Et la tête!
Joseph dropped onto his stomach, propping the rifle up and peering through the scope. They toppled regimes and made kings out of paupers- for those that could afford them of course.
Ruben Victoriano had his back to him, and Joseph could see Sebastian facing him as the agent shook hands with the patriarch of crime.
Et la tête!
Sebastian was to be ‘the necessary collateral’, the messenger had told him. ‘Bonne chance’ she had wished him, shaking his hand with her perfectly manicured one and pressing a micro SD card into his palm. Inside it were files upon files regarding the death of Lily Lynh Castellanos, the missing persons cold cases, and the death of a journalist. There was something wrong, something that didn’t add up, something that connected them all whether knowingly or unknowingly.
Joseph was the only outsider aware of the Administrator, and somehow the messenger had entrusted him with the means of unravelling it all. But he couldn’t do it alone.
Alouette! Alouette!
A slow, full inhale and an even slower exhale. A slow, full inhale and an even slower exhale. Joseph took aim.
Alouette, gentille alouette
A King would be overthrown today.
Alouette, je te plumerai.
The bullet sailed swift and true, puncturing through the big lumbering bodyguard, just under Ruben’s collarbone and clipping Sebastian’s through his right ribs. All three toppled down like cut marionettes and the town hall erupted with screams.
*~*
Juli pressed her hand to the gunshot wound as Sebastian looked up at her dazed and confused.
“Hold on Sebastian, stay with me!” The blood seeped between her fingers as it soaked through his clothes. He rasped for breath, struggling as his eyes glazed over. Shit shit shit. This wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t meant to end like this. “Help is coming, Sebastian just hold on!”
Mobius were coming, with their Beacon Hospital ambulances and their Beacon Hospital doctors and mad scientists and she was in way over her head.
EMTs roughly shoved her aside as they began to treat him, and soon he was lifted carefully onto a gurney and rushed outside. She followed them, managing to catch sight of Ruben Victoriano struggling as he was lifted into the back of an ambulance before the doors were closed, sealing his fate.
Clenching her hands into fists, Juli darted after Sebastian and roughly shoved aside the ambulance driver.
“We’re not going to Beacon, not for this one.” Leaving him sputtering in protest on the road, Juli hauled herself up onto the driver’s seat, the EMTs in the back none the wiser. St Christopher’s was closer, and more importantly- not in Mobius’ pocket.
She was in way over her head, and the last thing she’d expected was Sebastian’s gruff kindness and mentorship when she’d taken the undercover mission. A man who had lost everything, with an insatiable thirst for the truth, and perfect for Mobius to manipulate.
But not this time.
Juli weaved through traffic, sirens blaring and horn blasting as she forced cars to make way for the ambulance. She’d deal with the consequences later.
First, she had a life to save.
*~*
Had he done enough to enter through the Pearly Gates? Sure he no longer went to mass every Sunday but he thought he was still on good terms with the old man and his son.
He wouldn’t mind it if they said no, though. He’d done some messed up things over the span of both his careers. He’d ask real nicely though, if he could just take a peek inside.
Just a little peek.
Just to see her and tell her papi will always love her, always and always and forever. Just to say Lily, papi misses you so much.
Please Lord, just a little peek and he’ll never ask for anything ever again.
*~*
“Kingmaker.”
“Kid.” Joseph grinned, nodding in greeting as Agent Kidman stepped aside to allow him into the hospital room. An anonymous text sent to his burner phone with the hospital’s address had led him two blocks down to St Christopher’s, and Joseph followed directions down the corridor until he came face to face with the young woman.
“He’s surfacing from surgery. The doctors said the bullet narrowly missed everything important so he’ll make a full recovery.” She explained as Joseph took a seat beside the bed.
“Of course it did.” Joseph scoffed, mildly insulted. “My aim is true.”
Juli said nothing, staring at him as if inspecting him under a microscope. She turned heel and exited the room, closing the door behind her to give them privacy.
“Joseph?” Sebastian muttered, brows raised in surprise.
“Hey there partner.” Joseph smiled, patting his hand. “Doc says you’ll live to fight another day.”
“What happened?”
“The end of an empire.” He chuckled as Sebastian blinked owlishly, tired and sluggish. “Ruben Victoriano will no longer be a thorn in your side.”
“Ruben is dead, I take it?”
“No. He’s at Beacon Hospital under police watch.” A half truth.
“...and you shot me.”
“I did.” Light as a feather, he tapped the gauze taped over the fresh stitches. “With great skill if I do say so myself. Missed all your vital bits and pieces.”
A heavy sigh as Sebastian mulled it all over.
“How did they let you in here?”
“I told them I was your partner, partner.” He grinned as Sebastian groaned. “Your Kid’s outside. She told me where you were and I came as soon as I could.”
“I can’t even suffer in peace.” Sebastian grumbled though there was not a hint of malice in his words. “Is that your fancy designer scarf from the auction?”
“Yes.” He tugged the chequered cashmere scarf from his neck. “It’s Tom Ford I’ll have you know.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes, but relented and inclined his head so Joseph could loop the soft plush fabric around his neck.
Even here, Joseph knew they could be under surveillance. He leaned in close, close enough their lips brushed as he fussed with the scarf.
“I have so much to tell you.” He pressed their mouths together, quick and fierce. “Come find me?”
“How will I-”
“You have to go.” Kidman hissed, interrupting them and motioning for Joseph to leave. “Now.”
“Joseph-”
“Come find me, Seb.” Joseph urged, pausing in the doorway. “I’ll be waiting by the fire.”
*~*
It took Sebastian two weeks to be discharged and by the time he filed for leave and had it approved he was itching to be out working again.
But there was something else, something more important to do than follow the Victoriano case.
A large dent in his savings later and Sebastian found himself trudging through near knee-deep snow in British Columbia, Canada. A cabin in the mountains.
Sebastian shivered, pulling the thick scarf up in an attempt to keep the cold away. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
When it opened, Joseph Oda smiled triumphantly at him.
“So glad you could make it, Sebastian.” He found himself smiling in return, albeit tiredly, as Joseph shook his hand.
“Alright let’s get to work,” Sebastian kept his grip firm and didn’t release him, squeezing Joseph’s fingers. “Partner.”
dustandhalos answered your question:I’m considering taking up a graduate program,...
My friend John Lee just graduated from SVA’s MFA Illustration As Visual Essay program; I know he was working a lot of freelance editorial during school/he was fine, but idk about a full-time job– you could ask him? He’s at johnleedraws.tumblr.com
:O!!!!!
Thank you! I will do if I decide to pursue SVA’s grad programs!!
It looks like their visual narrative program is actually a lot more flexible, their spring/fall classes are entirely online too!!!
dustandhalos said: DID YOU JUST LISTEN FOR THE FIRST TIME (I’m literally listening right now but it’s like my 20th time)
Nah, I technically saw it over my spring break. But that line of his just gets me every time. Whenever people say something that I’d respond to with sarcasm, my brain just automatically goes “awesome. wow.” It’s reflex now.
But yes, I’ve definitely been having the soundtrack playing through my entire house as I clean it out to be sold. Other often repeated songs are Wait for It, The Schuyler Sisters, and p much anything King George.
ooh their opposing personalities would be so evident in the way they dress too, with Joseph in sleek black like Luke's outfit from Return of the Jedi, and Seb in the classic tan and brown robes (I want to draw this *-*)
Joseph’s such a spitfire though, it’d surprise a lot of people. He’s the epitome of FIGHT MEEEEE (ง'̀-'́)ง
People assume he’s the no-nonsense, rule-abiding one but in reality he’s prone to recklessness and brash behaviour. Seb would be the long, heavy sighs and the c’mon-buddy-let-it-go kinda guy.
