Can i get some,,,trans man inquis/trans man bull w bull makin the inquisitor feel better bc he understands the struggles - its ok if its too much to ask ive just been feeling a bit Unvalid with my identity and im love bull
I’m absolutely more than happy to write this prompt for you! While you may be struggling with yourself please know that no matter what your identity and who you are is both incredibly valid and wonderful! You are an amazing person deserving of all the love in the world! <3
Trigger warning for Gender Dysphoria. I’ll add tags for anyone but just another forewarning if you’re uncomfortable with that subject matter
Enjoy the prompt! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡
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You stared at yourself in the mirror, hands grazing over your body tentatively not with care but with unease – tangles upon tangles ensnaring themselves in your stomach.
Nothing about it was right from the tiniest to the most glaring of flaws you saw and scrutinized them all. You felt as if every single part of you was missing a detail – like a sculpture abandoned in the middle of its creation you were seemingly scattered with tiny, insignificant details that culminated in a glaring misconception of who you were.
You knew you were a man – you felt it from the deepest parts of your heart and soul, but from the back of your mind – that nagging, that incessant, horrible, cruel hiss in the back of your mind said otherwise.
You weren’t enough.
No matter how much you tried – how much you strived – you’d never be a-
“Kadan?” The deep guttural voice that so usually calmed and warmed your heart nearly caused it to leap from your chest, an inexplicable shot of shame rippling through you as you scrambled to hide all those mistakes you thought riddled your body. “What’re you-”
He emerged from the hall into your quarters and the bright smile stretched across his face muddled into a worried knowing at the sight of you stranded in front of the mirror. “Oh… Kadan… what’re you doing?”
You clamped tight onto your sides and your throat almost tightened as much as your sealed lips – you pried them open only to make dry, weary words. “N-Nothing just – just looking.”
It clicked in the Iron Bull’s mind in an instant, and his shoulders dropped with a sigh. He took a few more steps forward and settled down on the creaky old chest before your bed. His fingers locked together and his heavyset arms tipped against his knees thoughtfully, focusing on you with a sort of gentleness one found all too rarely – with or without the wartime setting.
“Do you want to talk about what you were looking at?”
You glanced at his chest scars, engraved along his skin like brush strokes upon a painting – they told a journey, one of strength and character that poured from him from the very glint in his gaze. You yearned for that security, that belief not just in how the rest of the world saw him but for how he saw himself.
You felt as if you could only wish for such a thing.
Your heart panged and you swallowed hard. If anyone were to understand it’d be him – you were okay – you were safe. He wasn’t here to judge, and he certainly wasn’t here to add further fuel to the fire.
“I just…” You wrinkled your nose in frustration. “I don’t feel like I’m enough – like I’m not enough of a man. I-It’s like I’m some sort of imposter or I’m just mimicking the other men around me!”
“A-And I know I’m not – I shouldn’t – compare myself to other men but I-I just… I see men like Cullen and I – I just see everything I’m not, like I’m wearing some c-costume! I’m not-”
“Hey there, slow down.”
The Iron Bull stood up and took your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing gently against your cheeks with such a tenderness you swore you could’ve melted. He wiped away at the tears that had just begun to sting at your eyes, though even with your blurring vision you could still see the sincere tenderness overwhelming his expression.
He eased his forehead against your own, the comfortable, steady breaths of his own beginning to calm your ensnared nerves.
“I felt the very same way you did – I still do sometimes.” The Iron Bull spoke gently. “But those thoughts don’t define who you are, they never will. They’re called intrusive for a reason, Kadan!” The hearty laugh he gave brought a smile tinging your expression.
“But… do not ever let those intrusive thoughts take away from what’s true.”
“And what’s that?”
He chuckled and turned you to the mirror where he wound his arms around you as if you were the most precious treasure he’d ever found throughout his travels. It brought a warmth swarming in your chest and that mere hint of a smile stretching to something more, something genuine.
“That you are a ridiculously fucking handsome man.” Iron Bull beamed. “I mean seriously, I ought to write your parents a thank you letter.”
“Oh, for Andraste’s sake!” You brought into a fit of laughter that was hardly helped by the kisses Bull began to pepper against your skin, sweeter than sugar. “You’re such a sap!”
Bull’s laughter weaved through your hair and he closed his eyes. He wasn’t one who’d do such a thing very often, instead often racing to the next opportunity, the next adventure – yet now, he wanted nothing more than to never let this moment pass. If the sun never fell that’d be alright by him, and frankly, it suited you just fine too.
“Only for you Kadan.” He let out a heavy breath and his lids flickered open, watching you through the mirror attentively. “And you know why? It’s ‘cause you are the damn most amazing person I’ve ever met, and you are deserving of everything this messy ass world can offer – everything my messy ass can offer,” Bull snorted. “You may not see who you are in that reflection, but you are still a man and no force on this world can change that – no intrusive thoughts or dick-bag nobles included.”
Bull squeezed you lovingly and your heart thought it might threaten to burst.
“One day you’ll look in that mirror and you will see exactly who you truly are, and you know what you’ll think?”
“Hm?”
“’Wow, I really am a man,” He paused. “…and Bull was very right – as always.”
“Those words exactly?”
“Precisely.”
“Why don’t you just stick around for that day? Then you can just say that last part.” You asked, sinking against him as you reflected.
You might not be at that perfect point today, but one day you would see the exact man you felt inside of you.
And at that moment, you felt just a tad bit closer.
I was in the bathroom dealing with a pad when I noticed that the wrapper had the female symbol, little writing on it with stuff like powerful, adventurous, etc, and then it had #likeagirl. All I could think was that that was a little unfair? Maybe. Trans men who still menstruate use "feminine hygiene products" too and I was thinking that that might be really shitty to see. And maybe I'm overthinking this, maybe I'm just being intrusive into a problem that's none of my business, but it made me worry about what else there is that unthinkingly might trigger someone's dysphoria. Why aren't we considering transgender people when making these decisions? Why aren't we including you in the discussion? Why can't we just treat you like people whose thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter?
I can't tell you how many times I've stood in front of my dresser or closet and wanted to cry, for hundreds of reasons.
Like seriously, I have only have two shirts that actually makes my shoulders a tiny bit smaller, at best. And my parents tell me that they're "too small"
Or I have jeans that actually make my hips look broader and my legs smaller. Skinny jeans are a fucking BLESSING.
And now, I'm standing here debating whether or not to try double layered briefs (the amab equivalent of binding, but way less dangerous).
Anyways, just not having a good night in that aspect, so ignore this if ya want.
Hnnnnnnnn I wanna dress like Spinel/in Spinel-esque clothing but the clothes I have that fit that aesthetic are all pretty feminine and I don't know if it'd prove I'm faking everything,,, because I feel really comfortable in my long pink wig and hot pink gogo boots and all of those costumes but that makes me look like a girl and I don't want to be one but why would I be comfortable like that if I wasn't? I'm just really confused and upset right now, I'm sorry
