“ dude. hey. hold up a second. ” the request carries INTENT on its back, heavy and jarring ; it blends well with the weight hanging in the air. “ listen, just ... about ... everything kara and her cousin said. ” feels the situation grinding deeper in his chest with each syllable, but presses on regardless. “ ... you don’t think they’re really gonna have to use that device? i mean, i know kara’s got this, duh, she’s SUPERGIRL, but. if, something like that happens. you’ll just be ... COOL WITH IT? ” // @e1mayarah liked.
--- --- ❛ I’m being cruel to be kind, ❜ she said in a low voice, watching the delegation depart. She predicted his protest, after all, what kind of queen sent away those who needed guidance more than ever? She accepted, perhaps even understood the sentiment, but ultimately, it was the AMAZON way. ❛ You may not understand our traditions. I do not expect you to. ❜ Words carried immense sadness, but tension as well, as if she was too tired to explain, knowing it a lost battle. ❛ But I must remind you that you remain here entirely out of mercy. Diana’s words are but recommendation. ❜
summary: after kara @nationalcityy dies during the fight against the daxamites, alex corners mon-el @e1mayarah in the deo to take it out on him. sara @saralaxce (who was there to help with the battle) pulls alex off of him but not before she breaks her hand on his face. eventually, sara drags alex off to the locker room to clean up. lena @agoodluthor appears, unaware of what’s happened and finds out from mon-el. they comfort each other.
trigger warnings: major character death (kara); grief/loss; blood; injury
ALEX.
alex doesn't have paperwork. she has a goal in mind. ignoring the stares she gets from still being covered in kara's blood, she sets purposefully into the foyer, looking for someone in particular. as soon as she sees him, her entire body seizes with rage. "you," she growls the word which sounds almost inhuman coming out of her mouth. without any further warning, she lunges at mon el, first connecting with his face with all of her strength. she can feel the bones in her hand crack but that doesn't stop her. she keeps going at him, screaming nonsensically about how this is his fault.
MON-EL.
He feels like he's back in stasis --- caught in a nightmare he can't wake up from. The news of Alex's return ( and the cause of it ) had filtered through the DEO like wildfire but Mon-El was only focused on one aspect of the story. Heart racing, blood thumping through his temple in sheer desperate panic, he sees the older ( only ) Danvers sister before his eyes catch the red. The Daxamite freezes in place, body going instantly numb as the information registers within his foggy mind. The blood, so dark and red against Alex's skin, isn't hers. It's Kara's. He doesn't move as Alex advances on him, eyes still locked on her, mouth still open slightly in silent denial. Words. Mon-El needs to tell Alex to stop --- that she'll hurt herself before she'll ever hurt him, but he can't find the words through the lump in his throat. He can only focus distantly on what she's screaming at him in her fury and for the life of him he can't find the strength to argue. "I --," his voice grates against the back of his throat and he takes a step backwards, dropping his gaze. "No," he shakes his head between her blows, hand grasping lightly yet strong around one of her wrists. You’ll hurt yourself, Alex, please "Rao, no..."
ALEX.
she's beyond reaching. something inside of her has snapped. alex continues screaming at him, hardly impacted by his commandeering of one of her wrists. she struggles for a moment, the pain in her hand singing with numbness before she ultimately comes to a rather simple conclusion. in a flash, alex brandishes a pistol. it's a human one in place of her other gun, because she wants the effect of the lead bullets. she presses it to his forehead, struggling with him still. "tell me why i shouldn't kill you for what you've done," she snaps. "if you had never come into her life, if you had never gotten close to her..."
MON-EL.
Mon-El lets her wrist go. For the life of him he doesn't have any fight left, not when her words break through the blanket pressing over his mind. He can feel it now, the swell of emotion --- pain, loss, sadness, grief, anger --- they crash into him all at once and his eyes turn, throat tight. The cold press of metal to his forehead is enough to draw his gaze up, though he barley even registers the gun. All he sees is Alex, face contorted in more emotion than he thinks he'll ever be able to feel. But she does. She feels it all and he can see that. "You're r-right..." the words leave his lips just above a whisper and his shoulders sag in defeat, hands clenched at his sides until he feels his nails bite into his palms. Something wet runs down his cheek and the Daxamite bites back a scream that is trying to claw its way up his throat. If I had never loved her then she'd still be alive. He looks to Alex and his face breaks, forehead shifting to press against the barrel of the pistol. "I'm s-sorry, it’s my fault. It’s – it’s all my fault..."
SARA.
she had only left alex on her own for a couple of minutes. after carrying kara into the medical wing sara needed to talk to j'onn about what their next steps were. it had only been a minute. deep in heated conversation notices a change in the energy of the room, ignoring the obvious of course. something is off; agents have their hands hovering over their gun holsters unsure of how to proceed. sara turns around and sees through the glass that alex has her gun pointed at mon el. "jesus christ." sara mutters under her breath while she storms towards the both of them. clenching her jaw sara speaks through gritted teeth. her voice is low and steady but could be construed as a growl. "you." she points to mon el. "you need to leave right now, give the agent here some space." sara turns to alex and pushes mon el back so that she is between him and the gun. "you danvers are an idiot and are coming with me. now."
ALEX.
alex has tunnel vision. all she can see is mon el. he represents everything that's taken her sister away from her, and she can't separate him from it or make any distinction. she's seething, practically psychotic with rage and grief, that even when sara puts herself between mon el and her gun it takes her a few seconds to even register that it's sara. she's breathing hard, her eyes dark as her hands shake. her broken hand lays at her side while her left steadily, reluctantly lowers the gun. she still looks combative, like a cornered animal, though, and at the first opportunity, she tries to lunge for mon el again, even with sara between them.
MON-EL.
Blonde invades his vision and for a moment a swell of hope surges through him. His reality is sharpened and he stands up straighter --- she wouldn't want to see them like this. But once the voice filters into his mind he realizes that it's not Kara but someone else ( Sara a voice that sounds oddly like hers tells him ). The Daxamite deflates all over again, feeling as if he's been slugged in the gut. His mouth is dry and even when he forces himself to swallow the lump grates against the back of his throat. Head shifting in a nod, he wants to say something ( anything ) that will offer some sort of solace to Alex --- she has lost the most out of any of them, he isn't blind to that. But words down come. Won't form so instead he takes a step backwards, eyes leaving the remaining Danvers before he turns completely to leave.
LENA.
She can't put a name on it but when she's back to where other people are, the air has changed. Lena looks around, agents avoid her eyes as she desperately tries to get an explanation and that sets her anxiety off, runs through her veins making the palms of her hands sweaty, where is J'onn, or Alex? She needs to find a familiar face so she'll be assured that things are okay, (because regardless of what happened with the daxamites, they are okay. Aren't they? They won... Didn't they?) Lena walks with her gaze down, nipping om her lower lip when she collides against something hard, someone. Mon-el. He seems destroyed, his eyes aren't shining like they usually do, it's as if Lena's staring right into the void. They are not friends, but at least she knows him and for now it's good enough. "What... Are you... What happened?"
SARA.
she has seen this look that alex is wearing before. it's one sara has had on more than one occasion. while sara has no idea what alex is truly feeling in the moment she still has a pretty good idea seeing as she is dealing with her own grief. but that has to take a backseat (as it always does) so that she can take care of alex. sara scans up and down her body, quickly locking onto what looks like a broken hand. pursing her lips sara shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. "you. locker room. now." there is no room for interpretation, alex can either go willingly or sara will drag her there herself. but first she reaches for alex's gun and practically rips it out of her good hand. she disassembles it with ease and simply stares at alex as the bullets drop onto the floor.
ALEX.
alex doesn't want to go; she wants to make mon el feel as hopeless and as lost as she feels. she doesn't, for a moment, consider that he already feels this way. in her narrow, self-centered focus, the only person who's hurting right now is alex. for all intents and purposes, everyone is an enemy... everyone, except sara, who's disconnected from most everyone else, save kara. so, it takes her a minute, but sara ultimately gets through to her, just enough. she turns sharply away from mon el and starts for the locker room, about two steps away from crumbling to the floor.
MON-EL.
Lost. He's so lost, that he barely even registers where his feet are taking him --- until something ( someone ) bumps into him. A bump to him is something stronger to anything human. And that voice. He knows that voice. Hollow and red rimmed eyes look up into the face of Lena Luthor and he feels a wave of guilt hit him all over again. Her question isn't one he thinks he can answer but, really, he doesn't think he can get out more than a few words, anyways. The other has to see it in the way he stands, in his defeat and hopelessness. "Kara," he manages to get out, her name grating against the back of his throat and the Daxamite can feel the tears threatening again. Mon-El looks away, jaw clenching, trying valiantly to keep it together.
SARA.
she lets the last remnants of the gun drop to the floor before following close behind. her chest is tight and her heart is heavy. sara stays just within reach just in case alex has a change of heart and decides to go after mon el again. while sara isn't particularly fond of him that doesn't change the fact that he is hurting right now too. for now they need to keep the peace then sara will deal with his mother. her immediate focus though is alex and needing to get her cleaned up. "can you hold out and have a shower before i set you hand or do i need to do that first?" her voice is gruff as if she is barking orders - it seems to be the only way to get through to alex in her current state.
LENA.
Kara, the name makes something inside her light up with hope and happiness, she hasn't seen her since the disaster started and she could really use a friend right now, someone that loves her and that she loves back to hug her and tell her it's over, it's okay. She also feels the urge to apologize to her, if she hadn't been so naive, so reckless, none of this would've happened in the first place. Lives were lost, people were injured. Lena owes them. "Where is she?" She asks Mon-El with the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, but it's only when she looks deeper into his eyes that she registers the sadness, the desperation. Something's definitely not okay and her relaxed face turns into a frown. "Where is she? I want to see her."
MON-EL.
Lena smiles. Actually smiles and he's reminded for one blindingly clear moment that that's what Kara did to people. Made them smile and hope and never give up. But he can't do this. He was.... there's no way... Mon-El can't handle this much emotion, this many feelings. He's being ripped apart and there's no way he'll be able to keep it together. His capacity to love and feel began and ended with Kara Zor-El, of that he is absolutely certain. "She's..." he can't even talk. Words grate painfully against the back of his throat --- he can't do this. He can't. And yet... he has to. For her. "She..." the Daxamite's throat seizes up on him and he shakes his head, biting back tears. "... I'm -- I'm sorry, Lena..."
LENA.
alex can't focus on anything. it wanes the instant she's alone with sara. she barely knows where she is, even less what she's doing or what she's supposed to be feeling other than pain. the physical pain is all she can identify, but not even that bothers her. she goes from aggressive to bewildered within seconds, looking around as though she's totally lost. she doesn't know where it comes from, but something just breaks, and she's on her knees. she can barely breathe for how hard it hits her: grief and anxiety all at once. her entire body shakes as she cries, unable to keep it quiet even if she wants to.
SARA.
her voice and posture soften in an instant. she knows the quiet moments are the worst - when you're alone is when the grief comes crashing down on you like a large swell. you swim through it just enough to get the tiniest of breaths before it pushes you down and you're drowning again. sara walks over and kneels beside alex. strong arms envelope her body as best she can. she rests her chin on the top of alex's head providing the most human contact she can. sara has to be alex's anchor in this storm as much as it kills her to do it.
LENA.
"You are sorry? Sorry for what?" The more she looks at Mon-El, the more she hears his voice break barely being able to contain the tears it becomes clear that Kara is not okay. And then realization strikes her, there wasn't a victory chant when the daxamites were defeated, there weren't sounds of relief and hugs, instead there was silence and that should've been the first indicator, yet Lena wanted to believe it was only the shock of the moment; now that she sees him like this, almost crying, hope abandons her. "Where is she?!" She doesn't mean to scream but she needs an answer. And she needs it now before she loses her mind. She needs to know Kara is alright, needs to see her to hug her and tell her how grateful she is to have her. Lena cannot lose her, not her too. "She okay, right? Tell me she's okay!"
MON-EL.
Mon-El flinches, face crumpling even more at the desperation in the woman's voice. He wonders distantly how she has the energy to shout so loud, though he understands. Their anchor has been taken from them. The Daxamite's head shifts again and now he can feel the silent tears slip from his eyes, breaching the surface in quite agony. "I can't," and he can't even look at her because the guilt is there again, strong and constricting around his heart in a vice like grip. Yet another person has lost someone important to them at the hands of his people. His mother. Him. He's not sure what spurs him to do so but Mon-El extends his hands weakly towards her, gaze downcast. "Will you..." he has to pause to swallow the emotion threatening to steal his voice and when he speaks next the words shake from his mouth, "Will you come... come with me?"
LENA.
He can't. That's all Lena needs. The fiery energy that was on display a few seconds ago suddenly vanishes and she feels dizzy, everything around her starts spinning and she feels like at any given moment she'll collapse, tears roll down her cheeks and she holds Mon-El's hand not because she wants to but because she needs to, she needs somebody to hold onto otherwise she'll fall into the ground and things will end horribly. Lena doesn't answer, doesn't nod nor shakes her head, she simply stands still, squeezing Mon-El's hand firmly with eyes red and tears coming down, however her expresion is composed. Whatever he wants to show her won't help. Nothing will help now.
MON-EL.
He sees the shift, the complete deflation and distantly he knows exactly what it feels like. What it feels like to lose the light inside you. The hope. His eyes shift up to her when he feels her hand slide into his own, surprise knitting through his brow in a quick flash before its shrouded with grief. He hadn't expected the contact even if he'd offered it --- he'd expected anger. Like Alex. Or cold composure. Like the DEO agents who looked at him differently now. The light pressure of the squeeze is enough to shatter him and his entire body sags, as if the link with Lena is siphoning his strength. Slowly ( mostly because moving is too much, takes too much energy and too mental drive ) Mon-El shifts forward, wrapping his arms around her. He can't huge her with everything that he has ( he wont be able to do that ever again ) but he holds the other woman steady, as if that if he were to let go he'd collapse to the floor in a heap.
ALEX.
sara is the only thing keeping her up at all, and she'd be grateful for that later. for now, she can't do anything but sob. it's ugly and raw, but she isn't exactly in a mindset to care how it happens. it's a good ten or fifteen minutes before she comes back from that inconsolable space. her whole body hurts, and she's suddenly acutely aware of the sharp throbbing of her hand. she's just trying to breathe right now, a realization of sara's presence dawning on her as though she's just now gotten here. her throat is raw from crying when she finally speaks again, "set it," she asks quietly, holding out her right hand. "please."
SARA.
she just stays there and rocks alex back and forth. using her own strength to hold them both up. sara wants to cry but she can't. not right now, alex needs her. everyone needs her. sara is the only one removed enough to see things with a clearer head despite just losing a friend ( and it's like losing her sister all over again ). it doesn't matter how long it takes sara will stay there holding alex, whatever she needs - within reason. sara is drifting off trying to shut out the sound of alex sobbing when it finally ceases. it pulls her back to her own reality. "okay. i'll splint it for now and then you can get it properly checked in medical once you're cleaned up." plus sara wants to keep as much space between alex and mon el as possible right now. getting up from her spot on the floor sara goes to the first aid kit on the wall and gets what she needs in order to splint alex's hand. bending back down sara lightly presses around her right hand attempting to be as gentle as possible but she needs to feel where the bones are broken. "this is going to hurt." she murmurs not even looking at alex while she snaps things back into place before splinting her hand.
ALEX.
the pain is a secondary concern. she knows it's going to hurt, and she isn't ashamed of the reaction she's bound to have. to the best of her ability, she used her left hand to unfasten her belt and tug it free. when sara comes back to her, she puts it between her teeth. she's already caused enough of a scene, she isn't looking for another one. nodding to sara, she braces for it, knowing she'll never be ready. it's blinding, but biting into the leather helps, even if she still feels like she's about to pass out. the noise she does make is muffled by the belt, but afterward, she has to let to fall to breathe through the waves of throbbing pain that follow. it's nauseating but she has to push through it. part of her just shuts down. alex struggles to her feet, unable to look at sara. "i just... need a moment," she licks her lips, which are terribly dry. "i'm not going to do anything. i just..." alex doesn't even know what to say. she can't ask for anymore than sara's already given her.
SARA.
"no. you can have time alone later when i'm sure you're not going to be an idiot again." sara doesn't bother to look at alex as she stands up off the floor. she is very much relying on her league training right now - it's the only way she is currently surviving. basically ignoring the world around her enough so that she can function enough to take care of other people. there's a dullness in her stare but her voice is steady and low. "go get in the shower and i'll be there in a second." sara picks up the rest of the supplies off the floor and puts them back in the first aid kit. though she follows quickly behind alex not allowing her enough time to get too in her head.
ALEX.
something about breaking down in the locker room has all but knocked the fight right out of her. she doesn't challenge sara; she just goes. with a little struggle, she manages to undress for the most part. what little pride she has left begs for that. she casts a sideways glance at her clothes, makes a mental note to just torch them later, and turns on the water. alex does what she can to keep her right hand out of any immediate pressure, no matter how slight, which proves to be awkward since it's her dominant hand. the regret begins to pour in as she thinks about mon el. now somewhat out of her fog, she realizes that he's likely hurting, too. she sighs heavily, shoulders falling while she lets the water wash over her.
SARA.
sara comes into the bathroom and locks the door behind her so that no one will bother them for awhile. though most of the agents are probably giving the locker room a wide berth right now. sara shrugs out of her suit when it falls to the ground she finally sees the large dark red stain on the chest. it's definitely not the first time sara has seen blood like this but looking at it now it physically hurts her. sara quietly walks up behind alex and begins to gently massage her shoulders and neck.
ALEX.
she doesn't hear sara enter so much as she can feel her presence, and then her hands. part of alex wants to open her mouth to protest, tell her she doesn't have to do this, but for whatever reason, she ultimately says nothing. maybe it's the comfort of familiar human contact; maybe it's a nice distraction. regardless, she leans into her hands while also making room for sara underneath the water. her eyes are closed, mostly because she doesn't want to see the blood washing off either of them.
SARA.
she continues to knead the muscles in alex's shoulders and neck for a few more minutes. allowing the hot water to wash away all of their sins, their pain. sara stays silent while they are in there together, no need for words right now as there is no way to express what either of them is truly feeling. she reaches for the body wash and lathers herself up before doing the same for alex. it doesn't go amiss that alex's eyes are shut during the whole process. sara does it partially because she only has one hand but she knows that alex can't look at kara's blood any longer.
ALEX.
alex appreciates sara more than words can say. she lets her help bathe because she honestly - as sad as it is - needs the assistance. though she can do it with one hand, it's less that and more that she feels unable to, emotionally. at some point, though, she turns and faces sara, wrapping her good hand and arm around her before her chin and cheek come to rest on her shoulder. the water's still hitting them, but she just stands there. "i'm sorry," she's not sure what for, but it's for a lot of things. "you lost her, too." it's all she wants to say, all she can say. alex just needs sara to know.
SARA.
sara finishes helping alex bathe, she doesn't mind doing it. when sara was first taken in by the league nyssa would help her bathe and it was the one time they could relax at all. the only time sara had any peace. though she practically freezes when alex turns around to hug her. sara can initiate contact right now but being on the receiving end is a different story. but she doesn't pull away and just lets alex do what she needs to. "yeah." it's all sara can really say, if she thinks about it too much then she'll be no good to anyone. "when you're done i'll help you get dressed and then take you home." there's no way sara is taking her to kara's body today.May 10, 2017
ALEX.
as her fingers unconsciously brush over the scars of sara's back when she pulls her arm away, a thought occurs to her, almost too quick to catch. she doesn't say anything, doesn't give any facial cues that anything has changed, but she just draws back. alex nods an affirmative to sara, and they finish their shower. after grappling with having someone else have to help her get dressed, she doesn't argue with the idea of going home. besides, she has something to look into, a beam of hope in an otherwise pitch-black darkness.
SARA.
they finish their shower and sara does her due diligence making sure that alex is functional to go home on her own. at least for a couple of hours; arrangements have to be made and right now it's probably easier if they keep alex out of it. sara slips into the sweater kara had leant her and a pair of her ripped black jeans. another part of her has just become hollow - life just keeps chipping away at her and sara doesn't know how much is left. how long she has left. shrugging sara goes off to find j'onn then she'd like to say goodbye to kara before the big show begins because for supergirl it has to be. that's not who sara needs to say goodbye to though; it's her friend kara that she is going to miss.
She’d basically threatened the details out of Winn. While part of her felt a little bad for terrorizing Kara’s friends even when she wasn’t actively trying to save humanity from their naturally stupidity, she did also find the fact that her niece was apparently dating a Daxamite quite distasteful. Not only that, but he looked irritatingly familiar. Astra had been to Daxam a few times on official business. But she couldn’t quite put her finger on who he looked like. “I can’t say that I’m too surprised that you don’t recognize me, but no matter. I thought it might be nice to meet the man who thinks he’s fit to date my niece.”
“whaddaya say, danvers? friendly game of darts?” winn grinned at the conclusion of his offer, standing at the ready by the mounted board. “just might be the one thing i actually have a chance at beating you at, now that i’ve been practicing.”
