Warnings: None really, maybe a little implied grown-up time ;P Besides that, it’s just fluffy fluff.
Pairing: Harry Wells x Reader
Word count: 1.2K+
A/N: So this is my first posting in what, 4 years? Has it really been that long? Not only that, I also decided to do it with a fandom I have not written for before. I fell into a Flash hole about a few months ago, and I have taken a particular liking to Earth 2 Harry Wells. So consider this as me hopefully coming back, and hopefully having made something cute for y’all. All mistakes are my own!
It's based on I'm Yours by Jason Mraz - was hearing it one day in my car and thought it would be cute! Also I don't own the GIF's, one I found on google and one here <3
You were walking through the cortex, thinking about how you were going to steal the projector Cisco was hiding in STAR labs. A big smile spread on your face as you skipped down the hall. Cisco rarely let anyone borrow it, not even you, his best friend. He loved how you were both movie dorks, but he protected it with his life if he had to. Hence you were now sneaking in to steal it for the marathon weekend you were having with yourself.
You turned towards his workshop, his little lab, or not so much his own anymore. There was a certain Earth 2 scientist that had occupied it. Now wasn’t any different than usual. Harry was sitting in the lab tinkering away at some sort of tech in front of him. You weren’t the engineer or the smart one as your best friend, so you never understood what he and Harry worked on together. Or what they were always bickering about.
You leaned yourself on the doorframe into the lab as you studied him for a bit. His long fingers worked away, tweezing some cords together as he tried applying power to it again. Harry only earned some sputtering from the tech and groaned out in frustration.
“Goddamit how hard can it be?!” He yelled out while tossing the screwdriver across the room. You huffed out a small laugh as you shook your head as the older man in front of you acted like a child who didn’t get his way. You had always liked Harry, you were pretty sure the entire team knew, except for him. The way his outside was so hard, when in fact you knew that Harry’s heart was big and cared a lot for all of you here. He would never say it, but you knew. You two had many small moments together where you turned his frown upside down like only Jesse could. It was one of your assets for the team. Keep Harry from throwing everything around and make him a little bit more easy-going.
“Ya know, maybe you just need a break,” You said while walking into the room, haven gotten a great idea, if you had to say so yourself. “Y/N, what are you doing here?” He asked while turning towards you for a brief moment, only to return his attention to the project in front of him; “Also no, I don’t need to take a break,” he grumbled as he started to tinker away again.
Meanwhile, you had found your phone, this was also one of the things Cisco loved about you, as you found a song to play. “To answer your question, I came to steal Cisco’s projector, but now I think I have a better idea of how to spend my time,” you mused as you closed in on Harry you put your phone down beside him, and pushed play.
You slowly turned Harry in his chair, he looked at you like he could kill you, but all you could do was smile as you started singing.
“Well you done, done me in; you bet I felt it, I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted,” you reached your hands down to Harry’s arms to pull him to stand.
“Y/N, I’m not doing this. I’m busy, and you of all people should know I need to get this done,” His voice laced with annoyance and reluctance as you sang. “Well, I don’t care,” You answered while the music shortly played on its own. You forced him to stand, keeping both of your hands in his, as you slowly started to move the both of you.
“Before the cool done run out, I’ll be giving it my bestest, nothing’s going to stop me, but divine intervention, I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some,” You continued as you slowly got Harry to move with you. A big smile played across your lips, your eyes twinkling in the light of the lab. You were looking into Harry’s beautiful blue eyes behind the glasses, and you swore you could see a little glimpse of enjoyment.
“See, it’s not so bad, now is it?” You joked with him earning a small groan from him, but a small smile curved at his lips. He pulled you into him, earning a small squeal from you, as you properly began to dance together.
“Well, open up your mind and see like me. Open up your plans and damn you’re free. Look into your heart and you’ll find love, love, love, love” Your voice continued to ring out as Harry spun you around. “Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing, we’re just one big family, and it’s our god-forsaken right to be loved, love, love, love, loved,”
You were having the best time as you were laughing and singing. Having Harry be invested in your idea, actually dancing with you, and not only that, he was smiling. Your heart felt so full. You knew he would be the death of you, with his gorgeous smile and handsome looks.
“I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror and bending over backwards just to see it clearer,” You got caught off guard when you heard Harry’s hoarse voice singing along to the song while you were still swaying to the song together. You had heard it so many times around him, that the genius apparently had learned the lyrics.
“I guess what I be saying is there ain’t no better reason to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons. It’s what we aim to do, our name is our virtue. But I won’t hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait - I’m yours,” You sang together as the song came to an end you stayed close to each other.
You looked into Harry’s mesmerizing eyes, your eyes must shimmer from all the love you felt towards him. You had your hands at his shoulders and his was around your waist. You had laughed and smiled so much during your dancing that your cheeks hurt, but you couldn’t remove the smile on your lips. Looking at Harry with a rare but equally just as big of a smile as yours, as you were breathing a little heavy after all the dancing and singing.
You thought to yourself how perfect he looked standing there. You could feel yourself getting flustered as you felt his breath on your lips. Before you could stop yourself you leaned up toward his lips. At first, he didn’t respond to it, but it didn’t take him long before his lips moved with yours. Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair, earning a little moan from him. His tongue ran across your lip and you gladly let him enter. His hands on your hips pulled you even closer to him.
As the kiss deepened and became more passionate, his hands moved down to cup your ass and without any words needing to be spoken, you jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist. He walked over to his desk and set you down on it, while his hands came to cup your face instead. You pulled apart for both of you to catch your breath, foreheads leaning on each other.
“Wow,” Was all you could muster to say, as you smiled while biting your lower lip. He gave a small chuckle from the depth of his throat. “Wow, yourself,” he gave you the biggest smile and a wink. “Maybe that break isn’t such a bad idea,” He said hoisting you up to him again, a squeal and laugh escaping your lips.
A/N: I made something cute again! I’m apparently all in for the cute stuff lately. I was looking on Pinterest to get some ideas and I fell over this. I just knew it had to be Cisco’s line, didn’t imagine it to turn into a whole Harry situation, but it kinda did!
GIF and Prompt isn't mine. Found on google and found on Pinterest.
You had always been an active outdoorsy person. You always played every sport you could find. You’d take long walks with your family, and when you got old enough you went hiking on your own. You had traveled quite a lot, all over the world really.
Lately, it had been some slow days for team Flash, metas were on the down-low, no big current villain to haunt down. So you had convinced the team to come hiking with you. You knew an amazing place just outside of Central City. It was beautiful at sunset, but it was also a bit of a hike to get on top of the small mountain.
It wasn’t everyone who was as excited for it as you were, and a few, or one specific, had been quite reluctant to go. It’s no point, makes no sense to waste our time doing this. Our time is better spent developing our tech than this, you recalled in your memory. Others had been excited and joyful. Oh yes! This would be awesome, it’s going to be so much fun! You had laughed at how excited Barry was to go.
You looked around at your friends, they were like family to you and you were so excited to be spending this time with them. Barry was running in the front with Ralph right on his heels. They had made it into a competition; who could reach the top first? Caitlin and Iris were walking beside you and right behind you were Harry and Cisco, who were of course bickering about something.
“You know, this wasn’t a bad idea Y/N,” Caitlin mused beside you, all you could do was smile and say thank you. You dwelled in the moment, making mental pictures of it, because you knew you would have to go back to the real world at some point. Suddenly you heard a yelp.
“This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.” Cisco dramatically exclaimed. “Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.” You and Harry said in unison causing the two girls beside you to laugh. “You two have a fun way of being quite alike,” Iris ushered. “Have you made up your mind?” Caitlin continued Iris’ thinking. You smiled and shook your head. “Come on, you must know if you want to or not!” Iris said a little louder than you wanted her to.
“Iris, shhh!” You half panicked when Harry glanced at you with an amused look. “I don’t need him to know anything,” you spoke lowly. “At least not until I tell him on my own,” you continued as you looked at your girlfriends. A big smile spread on both of their lips. “Oh yes! You’re going to be so cute,” Iris shrieked.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself Iris. It would have to include that he likes me too, ya know.” You tried to not get your own hopes up.
You had had a crush on the Earth 2 Harrison Wells for quite some time by now. Iris had asked you one day what it was about him that made your heart flutter. At that moment you had said everything, but it had started a thought process over what it was about him.
You could conclude on your own that it was the way his dimples came out when he smiled at you. It was the way he looked at you, that made your knees go soft. It was the way it didn’t matter to you if you understood what he said or not, you just loved to listen to him talk about something he was passionate about. It was the way that he tried to explain it to you, with no annoyance or anything. It was the way it felt when your fingers grazed each other when handing stuff to one another. It was the small hugs at the end of the really long days, that no one saw. It was something only you two had and moments only you shared.
It was how he always put a smile on your lips when you thought of him. The way he made fun with you, told jokes, and laughed with you. He’s the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night.
You glimpsed back at him. His baseball cap tugged down on top of his glasses, his black t-shirt showing his very nice muscled arms, and his sweater wrapped around his waist because it became too hot to wear. Oh yeah, and then he’s just flipping hot and sexy, you thought to yourself.
—
“Iris come on, you need to see the view from up here!” Barry yelled down to his wife. A big smile spread across her face. “Race you to the top?” Cisco chimed in right beside you. They all shared a look and ran off, leaving you behind with Harry.
“Hey,” He said as he joined you and adjusted his speed to fit yours.
“Hey yourself,” you said as you nudged his shoulder with yours and a smile you couldn’t hide. “Is it as bad as you thought it would be?” You slowly started to converse with him. He breathed in and held it for a second before letting it go in a small laugh.
“Well no, not with you by my side at least,” He smiled as he glanced down at you. His icy blue orbs were filled with enjoyment and warmth. Maybe Iris and Caitlin weren’t wrong when they said he had a thing for you too.
You reached the top with the others just in time for the sunset creating the most beautiful purple, pink, and orange lights across the sky.
“Wow, this is absolutely stunning,” Caitlin pointed out to the rest of the group. “How long have you kept this gem to yourself?” She continued looking back at you.
“Well, not for as long as you would think. I found it a few months ago, just haven’t had a chance to show you guys yet,” you stated.
Everyone fell silent for a while. Barry and Iris were sitting with their legs hanging off the little cliff, and Ralph, Cisco, and Caitlin were joking about something further away. Yourself, you were leaning on a big stone that was stood by a tree. Enjoying the moment. Savoring it as much as you possibly could. Harry came up to lean against the tree beside you.
“Ya know, I was afraid something would happen and ruin this moment. I was expecting a meta alarm to finally go off and take this moment away from us, but it didn’t.” You looked into the horizon, with a dreaming look on your face.
“I think we needed this more than we thought,” Harry caught your attention and you turned to look at him, his hand resting on your shoulder. His features were soft as he spoke. “With Savitar, with the metas, with the Earth X’ers. Having this moment with our family is worth more than anything,” Harry was a quite soft and warm person behind the hard glares, the grumpiness, and the insults.
“Harry, with a risk of ruining this moment, can I ask you two questions?” You turned completely towards him with a soft smile on your lips.
“Sure, though I would bet to say it would equal in three questions, taking the one you just did ask,” He joked and huffed a small laugh.
“See, already ahead of you, that was one of the two questions!” You exclaimed poking out your tongue at him. “I know you too well,” You continued and he laughed. His laugh was like music to your ears, you would give anything to listen to it all day.
“Go on,” he pushed. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again, looking straight into his captivating ones.
“How do you feel about me?” You spoke lowly scared to say it out too loud.
“How do I feel about you?” He looked puzzled at you. You looked down on the ground before you spoke again.
“I like you, Harry. I like you a lot, and I have for a while now. I just haven’t had the guts to ask, because I’m afraid I might ruin what we have. We have an amazing friendship, and you are by far one of my best friends, and I would hate for it-” you ranted on before you were cut short by Harry.
“Y/N, stop blabbering and look at me,” His hand went to take yours and you looked more at your hands than at him. He crouched down into your view forcing you to look at him, and you followed as he stood up straight again. “I have a hard time going through my day if I don’t see you. It’s like my day isn’t good before I’ve seen your smile. You're the one who brings some light into my life while Jesse isn’t here. I wouldn’t want our friendship to be jeopardized in the slightest bit.” He continued to talk, and you could feel your face fall a little bit at the last part he was saying. “Stop overthinking it, Y/N. I’m trying to say that I like you a lot too, it’s just not coming across the way I want it to,” He laughed nervously as his hand went to scratch the back of his neck.
You looked up at him, removing the last part of space between you as you stepped up to kiss him. His hands found their way to cup your face and yours snaked around his neck.
“FINALLY!” Cisco and Ralph yelled out. You laughed against his lips before he started pecking your lips several times in a row. His hands snaked around your waist instead and deepened the kiss. “Okay you two, we get it, you’re in love, now get a room!” Cisco yelled out again.
Warnings: Anxiety, aaaaaalllllll the anxiety. Anxiety attack and a pretty vivid description of it.
Pairings: None per se, but sort of Harry x Reader.
Word count: 1.4K+A/N: I suffer from all sorts of anxiety, and occasionally get attacks even though I’m well-medicated for it. I had a big anxiety attack not long ago, and thought, who wouldn’t want a little Harry cuddle?
Gif's aren't mine. One found on google the other here :)
It was so hard to breathe. It felt like your lungs weren’t expanding even though your chest was rising and falling. Your heart was hammering in your chest; it felt like it was about to jump out of your chest. The noise around you was so loud and you couldn’t shut it out. They were talking calmly, but you felt like they were shouting.
Your uneven breathing was making you feel dizzy. Your eyes were fixated on the floor as you tried to focus on something else. Your cribbling anxiety had taken over your entire system. It was too late to try and make it go away. All you could do was to try and ride it out.
“Hey, are you okay?” You jumped as a hand landed on your shoulder tearing you away from your thoughts. You looked up at the person it belonged to. Her brown eyes were filled with worry at your absentness.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You lied as you gave her a small smile, but Iris had come to know you better than you had liked at this point. No one really knew of your anxiety. You had it well under control for the most part, but sometimes it broke out of its chains and nothing was stopping it. “Really, I’m just tired. It’s been some long days lately, so I haven’t really slept,” You tried yet again to lie your way out of it. It wasn’t a complete lie, you had been working out to late hours, so there wasn’t really a lot of sleeping. You had been working with Harry on a new tech for the current meta roaming around in Central City. Cisco had needed a few days off, or mostly really a few days away from a certain Wells person.
“I’m not going to push you, but it's clear as day that something is troubling you,” She said almost in a pleading tone, as she squeezed your shoulder lightly. You shook your head as a final try to get her to let it go. She smiled at you and walked over to the rest of the group and started talking with them, but not without glancing back at you one more time. Your eyes had fallen back to looking at the floor.
Your heart was so loud in your ears. You tried to focus on that instead of the talking around the room. Not that it made a difference, because you got to a point where even the loudness of your heart was too much. You tried to breathe in and hold it for a while before letting it out, you tried your best to steady your breathing and pounding heart.
You stood up abruptly before taking hasty steps out of the cortex. You needed to get away and let the anxiety take over. You almost jogged till you were outside feeling the cold autumn air on your skin. The air was biting at your skin, creating goose bumps on its way, as you tried to ground yourself.
“Y/N, c’mon you can do this. It’s just anxiety. Nothing is going to hurt you, you’ll be fine, just breathe,” You talked to yourself as you closed your eyes and shook your body to get out the excess energy your anxiety was creating. You jumped a few times shaking your arms, before you stood still and took a deep breath through your nose, eyes still closed. The air rushed down into your lungs, filling and expanding them as much as they possibly could.
“In through your nose, out of your mouth,” You mumbled to yourself.
No matter how many times you did it, the anxiety wouldn’t let go. Your heart was still galloping away. As soon as you weren’t focusing on your breathing it returned to uneven and shallow. Your body was starting to shake, from the cold and from the anxiety that was winning. You sat down on the wet ground, the dizziness making it hard to stay standing.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” You said almost at a shout and leaned back to lie with your back flat on the ground, your legs bent. You looked up at the night sky, as you started to accept the evident end. All your tries were failing and you had nothing more to give. A small tear was escaping from your eyes as you closed them.
They shut open at the sound of someone clearing their throat beside you.
“Uh, Y/N?” His voice was lower than usual, more cautious as he took in what was happening before him. “What are you doing?” He questioned as his eyes roamed over your shaking body.
“Uh, nothing, just enjoying the crisp air, you know,” You tried as you sat up and laughed it off. You knew better than to try and stand, so you just stayed seated and looked away from him. Your hand went through your hair, it was damp from the ground, leaving your hair slightly wet.
“Sure, that’s why you’re lying on the ground as a shaking mess in the cold,” He huffed out a laugh. You were happy he couldn’t see the one tear that had escaped and trickled down your cheek.
“What is it to you anyway?” You bit at him, and his smile faltered. You didn’t mean to and it made you feel horrible, but you needed him to go away. You didn’t want any of them to see you when your anxiety weakened you. He looked taken aback by your sudden change in mood and attitude. In your head, you were apologizing to him, but you couldn’t let him see you like this. See you cribbled and weak.
“I just saw you running out of the cortex and I got worried about you,” He said calmly but slightly confused. “But I guess you’re fine,” He sounded a little hurt as he turned away from you and started walking away.
“Harry, wait…” You knew you were going to regret it. You hated for anyone to know of your anxiety. You hated that part of you, but you couldn’t take that you might have hurt him. He stopped but didn’t turn towards you, but you knew he was listening. “I’m… I’m having an anxiety attack and I can’t stop it. All my tries have failed. I’ve done everything I know I can do, but none are working,” You spoke lowly as you looked down at the ground in front of you, picking at your shoe. “I just don’t like people to know of it, it makes me weak. I don’t want to be a burden to the team, and I am… I’m so fucking weak and useless… You can go now,” You ended your little rant, and a few tears escaped your eyes again.
“You’re not weak Y/N,” Harry had turned around and walked over to you. “It’s anxiety, you can’t control it,” He continued as he kneeled in front of you laying a hand on your knee, his other hand landing under your chin making you look at him.
“Harry you don’t get it,” You shook your head and looked away again. “I don’t know when it happens! Usually, I know why it happens, but I don’t even know that this time!” You yelled at him. You didn’t mean to, it was all just too much. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you, but I’ve had this my entire life, it’s nothing new to me, I know how it affects me, and… What if it happens while I’m helping Barry chase some metahuman?” Your voice dropped to barely a whisper at the last part, tears continued to fill your eyes.
“Then we work through it,” He spoke softly as he sat down beside you, laying an arm around your shoulders. You resisted at first as he pulled you into his side, but quickly leaned into it, appreciating the gesture. The tears spilled over as you just sat there with him. He didn’t speak, he just sat there with you cuddled in his arms.
“You’re getting wet Harry,” You spoke after a while only now realizing that he had sat down to hold you.
“It’s okay,” He spoke as he gave you a squeeze and landed a small kiss on top of your head. “And you’ll be okay,” He continued as your arms landed around his body pulling him closer to you. At that moment with Harry’s arms wrapped around you, holding you close, your anxiety started to subside.
“Thank you, Harry,” You spoke lowly into his shoulder.
Warnings: Mentions of death (both person and pet), grief, angst.
Pairings: Sort of Harry x Reader
Word count: 2K+
A/N: So the pet is written like them/they and pet, I’ve done this in hopes it would be easier to relate to. It’s been 2,5 years since I said goodbye to my horse through 12,5 years, and I more often than not, cry a lot when I think of her. So this piece kind of came from one of those times when I break down completely. The grief is also written as how I feel it and how my last goodbye was with her. I cried a lot writing this, but it was actually quite nice to put it down on “paper”.
Things in italics are Harry's side of things.
GIF's aren't mine - Google and here!
You had made your way to Harry’s room in the labs. You knew that he was rarely there and the others from team Flash never went into his room, knowing that the grumpy scientist would throw a tantrum.
You closed the door slowly to make sure no one would hear you, as you leaned on the door with your hand on the knob, the tears were silently falling from your eyes. You had tried so hard not to cry, but sometimes the grief snuck up on you, and it was overwhelming.
You slowly turned around and made your way to Harry’s bed. You knew you two weren’t together, but his smell was soothing to you, so you did what you always do when grief hit. You curled yourself up in his bed and snuggled into the pillow, your phone in your hand.
Unlocking the phone a photo of them showed up and a sob escaped your lips. Your beautiful pet. You’d had them for years, it was your best friend, your entire world, the one who helped you to become the person you are today. They were your everything. Your world had broken completely down when you had to say goodbye to them.
“Why is there a good in goodbye? It’s never good,” you cried feeling the pain you always tried to hide and bury so far away. The pain was so heartwrenching and it felt like your heart was smashed into a million pieces all over again.
You continued to scroll through your phone, through the many photos and videos of them. Once in a while, a tiny smile crept onto your lips, only to be replaced by more sobs and cries. Whenever life got tough, you ran into problems, your life hit a reef, or hardships, they would be right there beside you.
“I miss you so much,” Your hand found its way over your eyes as the tears fell uncontrollably down your cheeks, and cries kept coming out of you.
You continued your journey down the rabbit hole. Seeing video after video while curled up to Harry’s pillow. You were holding your free hand under the pillow tugging it up to your cheek.
You were so lost in the memories that you didn’t even hear when the door opened.
Harry was looking down while stepping into his room ready to call it a night, for once at a reasonable hour. He had worked on enhancing some of Barry’s equipment, and to be honest, his head hurt a little from all the overwork he was doing lately.
As he looked up he didn’t expect to see you curled up in his bed, cries escaping your lips and leaving you in a shaking mess. His mouth found itself open and suddenly he felt somewhere between not knowing what to do, and just wanting to wrap you in his arms. So he just stood still for a moment, hoping that you would realize you weren’t alone anymore.
You didn’t seem to notice, so he cleared his throat.
Your head whipped in the direction of the sudden sound in the room. Your eyes completely glazed over with tears making everything blurry. Harry had, the one time you needed no one here, chosen to go to bed before it was the new morning.
“I’m so sorry Harry… I- I’m just gonna go,” You said while fiercely wiping away the tears and standing up. Trying to beeline to go straight past him and out of the door, Harry left his arm out before you, forcing you to stop before you could run off.
“What’s wrong?” He asked with his low and hoarse voice while turning to look at you. You ever so lightly turned your head to briefly look into his piercing blue eyes. Once again the tears fell vigorously down your cheeks.
“You really don’t have to worry about it Harry, it’s okay,” You said sniffling as you wiped your tears away again, willing them to stop falling.
“I can’t just let you leave knowing there’s something wrong,” He continued pressing on. He turned towards you and slowly wrapped his arms around you. You tensed up at first, not knowing what to do with this new situation, but you quickly relaxed as you let go of everything.
You grabbed a part of his sweater in your hands as you pressed towards him. You felt so safe, so protected by his strong arms. His smell was way better, when close to him than his pillow was. None of you talked, you just stood there for a while crying into his chest. His chin rested on top of your head.
The pain in your chest was so strong that you forgot to breathe. The hug helped a little, but because of the way you were always trying to hide it, the agony, the grief, and the loss of your best friend were too much for you.
It felt like your heart was going to be ripped out of your chest. Like there was no room for air in your lungs. Like you could throw up because you could feel it down into your stomach. The crying only got worse as you started to shake in his grasp.
Harry didn’t know what was happening, all he knew was that you needed to start breathing.
“Y/N, I need you to breathe for me, okay?” He tried slowly to get your attention, but you didn’t reply to it. He wasn’t even sure you had heard him. “Y/N, breathe,” He tried a little louder while squeezing you. “Just follow my lead okay? Breathe in,” he held his breath for a few seconds before letting it go again. “And breathe out,” He continued to do it, hoping you would catch on.
After what felt like forever you reacted and started breathing with him. The sobbing subsided little by little as time went by. He kissed the top of your head as you continued to breathe together. Harry didn’t know how much he could push you or if you even wanted to talk to him. He hoped, prayed even, that he could do something for you, to help you through whatever you were going through.
“I’m sorry Harry, it’s just that sometimes my grief gets the best of me,” you spoke so lowly that he barely heard you. Harry felt a small pain in his heart, knowing how bad grief could be. Even more so, how hard it can be to go through alone. Not that he knew what you were grieving, because you had never talked about losing someone. “They were my best friend,” you continued mumbling into his chest. “They weren’t human, which makes this all the more stupid… it was my pet, but they were there for the most of my upbringing. I spent my entire life and time on them… only for them to leave me behind when I needed them most,” Harry listened as you continued to talk, letting you have all the time you needed to get through it.
“It’s not stupid,” He slowly spoke while still cradling you in his arms. “Grief isn’t any less just because it isn’t a human being, Y/N,” he said slowly pulling you out from his grasp and looking at you. Your eyes were all puffed and red, cheeks stained in tears as you looked down. It was hard for him to take. His heart ached for you. “C’mon,” he said reaching out his hand for you to take.
You weren’t really sure if you wanted to talk about it. Harry had pulled away and was trying to get you to come with him. You stood still for a long time, Harry’s pleading eyes on you. You slowly took his hand in yours and let him lead you towards his bed again. This time having you sit down with Harry. Harry took your shoulders and turned your back towards his chest and lined you between his legs. Wrapping his arms around you he softly spoke;
“Care to tell me about them?” You looked up at him, a small reassuring smile on his lips. You took out your phone again and found a photo of them.
“They were just so beautiful, potentially the most beautiful, loving, and caring soul I’ve ever met. They were there for me when no one else was, when I felt alone in the world, when life got hard, they were right there by my side cheering me up,” you spoke as you scrolled through photos and videos for Harry to see. Your tears started to fall again.
“I don’t know how to keep going. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Making that choice. Saying this was the end because I owed them to let them leave with dignity.” The pain of that choice started to fill up in you again. If it wasn’t hard enough saying goodbye, you also had to be the one making that decision, because you owed that to them. “I knew that day would come, but it’s like you just forget that it has to be done somewhere along the line. I never had anyone but them. Not even when I was in a relationship, because those all went to hell, and guess what Harry.,” you said as your tear-filled eyes looked up at Harry, and he looked down into your eyes. “I made it through because I had them with me. I felt free of all the pain when they were close to me,”
Your voice was so shaky compared to what Harry was used to. You used to be full of confidence and joy, like nothing in the world could bring you down. He was looking through all the memories of you and them together, as you scrolled through them and talked about it.
When you landed on a certain video, your breath hitched in your throat and a big whimper fell from your lips. Your head fell forward in between your shoulders and you began to shake all over again.
Harry looked at the video. It was with them, cuddling up to you as you wrapped them in your arms and spoke softly. “It’ll be okay. I’m gonna be okay. You just take good care up there, and I will be right with you. Before you know it.” Tears were silently falling on your cheeks in the video, you were kissing them and squeezing them tightly into you. They looked at you, nuzzling into your side like they were telling you it was okay, that they were ready. The video stopped with the last frame of you kissing them one last time.
Harry’s eyes brimmed with water remembering what he had said to Tess when he lost her. He cradled you more into his arms letting his head lean on yours. A stray tear escaped the corner of his eye, landing in your hair. He understood the pain you were going through. The memories, for the most part, were amazing to have, but on other days they were like torture.
You moved in his arms, turning to face him. Upon seeing the tears in his own eyes you laid your hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. Harry’s eyes looked down at your hand on his arm, and he gave a small smile to you, thinking about how you were always reassuring everyone else; even when you were in pain.
“Does it ever get easier? Does it get better?” You almost breathed out. You had removed your hand from his arm, folding yours in your lap, your eyes fixated on them.
“I wished I had all the good answers Y/N, but to be honest I don’t know what to say. Yes, it gets better as time goes by, but the grief doesn’t necessarily get easier to handle. The pain will always be there, but you learn to look at it with a smile as you remember all the good memories,” Harry tried to speak as softly as he could to not start a new lavine of shaking cries from you.
Your eyes focused on your hands in your lap as Harry was speaking. Your eyes spilled over with tears again. Not with the same kind of pain as before, but with the small hope that Harry was right. That the memories would become good ones you could smile about, and not just the remembrance of them not being here anymore.
“Thank you, Harry,” you croaked out as you wiped the last tears off of your cheeks with the end of your sleeve. He looked at you with such care and reassurance in his eyes. He cleared his throat before speaking.
“You’re welcome. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but you don’t have to do it on your own if you don’t want to,” He said it in a way you knew was a promise. A promise to help you if it all became too much for you to bear alone.
