#early schooling

[micaruhi]

Sometimes forcing to be as I'm supposed to be can be manageable but sometimes it's just so hard to fit, I feel like a teen pretending to be an adult some sort and it's hurt me a lot.

I don't feel natural at all, it's like pretending all my life for expectations and it's sucks so much I want to cry. I want to have an normal teen life, being around adult make me so anxious I forget how to walk and it's getting so uncomfortable.

I hate that I'm not with people who can relate to me, constantly trying to fit in both adult and teen cases and failing miserably. It's exhausting, I'm tired.

[micaruhi]

Wow..so it's how it's look like to work in a company?

I might be dramatic but it's was one of the worst week I spent in my life. I didn't count how mush I dissociated during. Doing same things repeatly during all day was a torture for me... Maybe because I'm think I might have some ADHD symptoms or maybe not? Idk, I just felt so empty. Plus I struggle sm to talk with people twice my age, feeling like I'm pretending every single part of myself, my anxiety let place to a unreadable feeling, I don't know how to explain but it's not comfortable

I can't believe I'll do it 2 months

I can't believe I'll do it all my life, I hate this internship. I can't even rest during holidays.

Things getting worse, being forced to look like an studious girl make me sick...I'm not. I hate it.

Most of all I hate when my parents do as they understand thinking it's just little tiredness, it's not. But I can't explain it...Aaaaah!!