#eating date

[dateideasforyou]

Date idea: watching Disney+ and eating take out Chinese food.

[lifeulista]

Date Rules

Ugh. Another Date. How do I even broach the topic of my issues when I know that my date has issues of his own? Who gets to say their issues first? I made a vow that friday night would not consist of meeting up with a Fried Fish Sandwich and Chips. My last date was, let's say, worse than expected. I tried the dating sites. For larger people it's a roll of the dice and for once, I came up with a perfect set. I thought I had met Prince Charming. He was employed and reasonably conversational. He didn't live with his Mother and he didn't comment when I ordered desert. After dinner, he invited me back to his place. Did you read that? Invited me. I didn't even have to ask. I walked in and it's clean but my eye catches something and my brain stops cold. Mr. Prince Charming has a Hello Kitty lunch box on his counter. The Danger Ringer goes off, not full Code Red Emergency but the siren is definitely getting ready to ring. After closing the door, he swings around and tells me he has rules. No kissing. No touching. He tells me to follow his rules and all will be fine. Ok, the siren goes off. For the first time in my life as I knew that I would never see Mr. Prince Charming again I started to cough and then I passed gas. The date was over. I never did ask about the Hello Kitty Box. So tonight I am seeking a challenge. There's a new year approaching and I have three days to find a New Years date. I don't want to do the New Years Eve first meet, I prefer a warm up. Try me out on December 28th and if we click, then lets plan for December 31st. No pressure. 

I am not weird but why is everyone else I meet for a date (that isn't a sandwich) weird? After Mr. Hello Kitty came and went I decided to try out someone more natural. He was back-country friendly, owned a chainsaw, liked his parents and knew how to set the table at Christmas (he sent me pictures). I could overlook the fact that he liked hunt for his own food and that he showed up on our first date wearing a hat that could only be described as "Davy Crockett Chic," but what I couldn't overlook was that his family raised their own food including fowl and cow. Unfortunately, before these animals have met their impending demise, the family names them. Where I come from, once you name an animal it's a pet, not food. I then heard the full description of Duke the steer that gave him and his family a bounty of pot roasts, prime rib and steak. I also learned that the best way to make prime rib is to inject garlic and seasonings until the crust is fulling baked. I am sorry for Duke, but at least I know how to make a good roast.

Needless to say, the end of the year date ins't materializing into a New Years Eve rendezvous, but at least I still have my Fried Fish Sandwich and Chips, rules not included.