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invisible scars - echo

Request: nope Pairing: echo x jedi!reader Summary: the war leaves a lot of scars, some you can see and some that are invisible to the eye Warnings: mentions of war (big shocker!!), mentions of death, angst, negative self image I guess?? Word count: 2.2KA/N: this has been sitting in my drafts for too long. also im totally fine. enjoy reading! posts that inspired this fic: feral-ballad catchymemes nothingbutloveforyou

life after the war was hard. you had to constantly look over your shoulder. it's been a while since the war ended but it never hurt to be careful. you don't want to experience firsthand what the empire does to jedi who served in the war and managed to escape order 66.

you'd been traveling the galaxy on your own after getting a ship. it took a lot of hard work to get the credits to be able to afford a ship, but it was worth it.

your ship wasn't exactly big or fully up to date, but it got you from place to place, and it was entirely yours. while you loved having your own ship, it was hard to be alone.

long ago, when you'd served as a general in the grand army of the republic, you loved having people around you. it's been hard, being alone for so long.

you took work whenever you could, as you needed to eat and you needed to pay for fuel for your ship. some jobs were dangerous, others were boring, most of them you did on your own. you traveled from planet to planet, doing jobs for a few shady people.

at one point, in search of work, you ended up on ord mantell. someone pointed you in the direction of cid when you mentioned that you were looking for work.

so, you started to do some jobs for her. you suspected she wasn't always 100% honest with you and some of the jobs were tough, but you got paid. and though cid's bar was never packed, you were there a lot when you were on ord Mantell. it reminded you of 79's back on coruscant.

when you first went out on your own, you made a promise to yourself never to stay in one place too long. just to be safe. but you always found yourself back at cid's. you wouldn't exactly call it home, but it was a nice place to relax in between jobs.

it's also where you met the bad batch.

one day you were sitting at the bar, having a drink by yourself, when you sensed someone looking at you. your old instincts kicked in, and you slowly reached for one of your blasters. but then you spotted the figure coming out of hiding. it was a kid.

she introduced herself as omega, and started a conversation. she was happy and excited to talk to you. it was refreshing to sit and talk with her. you gathered she didn't know a lot about the galaxy, so she loved your stories.

over time, you saw omega more often at cid's. most of the times she was accompanied by a few men who she seemed to be traveling with. you had only seen them from afar a couple of times, before omega introduced them to you as her brothers.

you could tell they were clones. though they didn't look like the men you served with, you knew they were clones anyway. you never asked them about it, you never commented on it. they'd talk to you if they wanted to.

as you started to spend more time with omega and with her brothers, cid started sending you on missions with them. you got to know them better every time cid sent you somewhere.

after a while, you decided to do all of your missions together. you worked well alongside each other, and you liked the company.

it had been a few months since you started working with them, when one of cid's missions took you to a planet you were familiar with. you were silent most of the journey.

the others could tell something was troubling you, but they didn't want to push you. they knew little of your past, as you rarely talked about it. you weren't ready to share that story yet.

it was echo who was especially worried about you. you were never this quiet. he figured he'd wait til you opened up on your own accord, pushing his own worries away.

cid's mission hadn't been hard. you ran into little trouble as there was almost no one living on the desert planet. she had sent you there to retrieve some of the plants that still grew there. most of the plants were gone, but some still existed. they were worth some money on the black market.

of course, no one had told omega that was the real reason you were here. she was just happy to get the flowers and to see another new planet.

you're standing a bit away from the ship, looking out over the sea of sand in front of you. behind you, the others are loading up the harvested flowers.

you don't hear much of omega's talking, too busy drowning in your thoughts.

after a while, you feel someone's presence right behind you.

'you okay?'

it's echo.

of course it's echo. there was something unspoken between the two of you. you could understand each other with little to no words. it was just so comfortable to be around him. you often sought him out, even if you didn't have a reason to do so.

'I'll be fine.' you say.

echo is silent as he moves to stand beside you. he looks out over the desert in front of you. there's little left of the villages, a few ruins scattered among the sand dunes and memories in the heads of people that left long ago.

'you know this planet, don't you?' asks echo.

you turn to him. 'how did you know?'

echo smiles softly. 'I know we know very little of you past. but I can tell you've lived through a war. I know that look on your face. I've seen it everywhere, in everyone I served with.' he says.

over time, you had learned more about the bad batch and their stories. you know they served int eh army as well, yet you couldn't recall if you had ever crossed paths with them.

while most of them had been a part of clone force 99 along with their brother crosshair, echo hadn't always been a part of the bad batch. he had been part of the 501st, anakin and ahsoka's men.

looking at the horizon, you get the sudden urge to tell echo. all of it.

he's been in the war as well. he knows what it was like. he would understand. but it's all too painful to talk about.

the bad batch didn't even know you were a general. they figured out you were a jedi, but you told them you left the order before the end of the war. it wan't true. the truth was just too painful to talk about.

'I do know this planet.' you say softly. 'I haven't been here in years. I had heard stories of what happened here, what the empire had done. I just wasn't ready to see it with my own eyes. guess sometimes you end up at the very place you try to avoid at all costs.'

'was this your home planet?'

you swallow the lump in your throat. 'yes.'

'I'm sorry.'

'I thought I had already moved past it. but to see it with my own eyes. it's different. it used to be beautiful. this whole places was covered in the most gorgeous plants. now all that's left is a few dying flowers people sell on the black market.'

'it was weird for me to go back to kamino as well. it was still there of course, but the last time I was there, I was with my brother.'

'which one?'

you turn to look at echo. when he looks at you, you can tell the look in his eyes mirrors you own.

'fives. he didn't survive the war.'

'was he in the 501st as well?'

'he was. he was an excellent soldier. but an even better brother. I still miss him every day.'

'losing someone is never easy. especially during a war.'

'what was your rank?'

you're silent, fidgeting with your hands. you don't talk about the war.

'I'm guessing commander or general.' says echo.

'how do you know I served in the war?'

'you don't talk about it much, but when you do, it's like you were there. I don't think you left the jedi order. I think you're one of the few survivors. but don't worry. I haven't told anyone else. you can tell them yourself whenever you're ready. I know it's hard.'

'thank you.'

echo smiles at you and nods, then turns his gaze back to the horizon. you stand next to each other in silence for a while. you're thinking back to the war, all the friends you lost and mourned. what you had to do to survive after the republic fell.

'you know, I may be a jedi, but in the end I wasn't a good person.' you say softly.

'what makes you say that?' says echo.

'I... hurt some of my men.' you confess. 'I didn't mean to. they suddenly turned on me. all of them. it wasn't until later that I figured out it was order 66. but... I did hurt them. I did what I had to do to survive. at least, that's what I tell myself. but I hate myself for it. every night before I fall asleep I think of them. they're in all my nightmares.'

'I had no idea. when you're with us, you're often the most optimistic one. save maybe for omega.'

you shrug. 'it's easy to forget that violence is mostly kept inside.'

'is that why you're sometimes so exhausted? nightmares keeping you awake?'

'mostly, yes. sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep. I don't know what's worse, surviving the war or being killed by someone you trusted. those men did everything I asked them to. they were my brothers as much as they were each others. and in the end, I wasn't there for them. I failed them.'

echo turns to you so he can fully face you. 'y/n, it's not your fault. you know of those chips now. they had no choice, and you were defending yourself. if you hadn't, you'd be dead now.

you don't meet his eyes. 'maybe. it doesn't matter now anyway. I have no idea how many of them survived. and if they did, they're most likely serving the empire now. doing stuff like this.' you gesture to the desert planet you're on.

'for what it's worth, I think we can still fight. I think deep down, you haven't fully given up. otherwise you wouldn't have been a high ranking officer in the army leading men into battle.' says echo.'

a whistle interrupts your conversation with echo. you look back at the marauder to see hunter waving at you.

'you two ready to go?' he says.

'be right there!' says echo.

'I don't want to come back here.' you say softly. 'it's too painful, brings back too many memories.'

'we don't have to come back here. I appreciate you for opening up to me.'

you feel tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. 'I don't really talk about it. there's a lot more. but I haven't told anyone that.'

'listen, I know your struggle. having so many painful memories that are too fresh to talk about. and I hope you win this war you tell no one about.' says echo.

you look up at him and manage a smile. 'thanks, echo.'

'let's head back to the ship, yeah?'

'yeah, let's get out of here.'

echo starts to walk back to the marauder as you take one last look at the planet that was once your home.

'echo?' you say, walking up to him.

he turns around, expecting you to say something. instead, you walk closer to him and wrap your arms around his chest.

at first, echo freezes up, unsure of what to do. everyone knows there's something going on between you two, though you've never talked about it.

but then he slowly wraps his arms around you. he knows he's done the right thing when he feels you shuffle closer and press your face in his chest.

the two of you stand there like that for a while. you close your eyes and allow yourself to soak up the feeling of safety and comfort.

when you finally pull away, you look up at echo and smile.

'now at least I have one good memory of this place.' you say. 'thank you again for listening, echo.'

echo smiles at you as well. 'of course. if you ever need me, you know where to find me.'

'thanks. now let's get out of here.'

echo motions to the marauder. 'after you.'

while you still didn't feel like talking about all of it yet, you know echo will be there whenever you do feel like opening up. it was nice to have someone listen, especially someone who understands right away.

you just know you'd be seeking out echo a lot more after this.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Max/Marit

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