#ed post

[bluevoidfiles]

hey so no foods today! been fasting for 28 hours now 💗💗

[pixienitmirtforyou]

Girls, don’t get yourselves into eating disorders

My boyfriend’s gone away and now I’m living on kvass, sunflower seeds, tea and the Holy Spirit. I’m waiting for him to go back so my brain allows me to eat once again

[thelair-ofscylla]

i can’t eat.

my mind is so wired to believe that the body it drives needs to look a certain way, to appeal to a certain demographic, that i cannot swallow food once it enters my mouth.

how disgusting.

how disgraceful that the people around me as a child engrained self-hatred so deep inside my bones that a basic functioning need is impossible.

i have been starving for a year.

i don’t know what hunger feels like.

i know how to devour. i know how to consume. i know how to take and take and take until there is nothing left. but i don’t know how to be hungry.

the place in my stomach where the hunger once lived is only filled with guilt and shame and hatred. i cannot swallow food once it enters my mouth.

i cannot fill the pit with food if i cannot eat, and i cannot eat because the pit is empty.

[bluevoidfiles]

wiatd 💗

broke my 15 hour fast with lunch and had 33 g of tomatoes 🍅, 15 g of spinach 🌳, 12 g of tomato sauce 🥫, 100 g of chicken 🍗, 30 g of homemade pasta 🍝 and one apple 🍎

= 5 calories for the tomatoes, 3 for the spinach, 4 for the sauce, 149 for the chicken, 52 for the pasta and 29 for the apple

total calories of the day = 242 ✨

[woman-gaya]