Hello, my dear dryads. My name is Pixie Nitmirt. I'm a blogger, a dreamer, and I'm figuring out life as I go. My YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@pixienitmirt?si=DJzanYBfKgouEDis On my channel, I post vlogs and chat videos about life and various things that move me. I look forward to seeing all you dryads there. As for this space ā I'll be using it as my personal chronicle. Everyday matters, thoughts, reflections, regrets, and emotions. I think that's what you'll find here. Anything that's a bit too personal for YouTube, I suppose. Anyway, let's build our little community together. Let your forest grow wild and your roots run deep.
My name is Pixie Nitmirt, and I'm a budding YouTuber figuring out life as I go. My YouTube if youād like to join https://youtube.com/@pixienitmirt?si=F0wdzJrpJ95zJ00V
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
A few simple facts about me:
ā¢ 20 years old
ā¢ Studying Chinese linguistics, Chinese translation, and English translation (yes, three programmes at once)
ā¢ Gemini, ENFP
ā¢ Proud owner of my lovely dog Pandora (dog photo is OF COURSE here)
I don't fully agree with labels, but they give you a rough idea. The real me? I'm on a journey of self-discovery. I read tarot (four decks), draw, practise calligraphy, love makeup, and read fantasy (The Witcher, Tolkien ā classics). But my favourite thing is simply observing the world. And that's what I try to teach others: to notice the magic in everyday life.
On my YouTube channel, you'll find chat videos, style talks, philosophical pieces, piercings, vlogs, and more. It's still eclectic ā I'm finding my feet. If you decide to subscribe, lovely ladies, I'll be absolutely delighted
For some reason I like my profile on those pictures. I even like them more than just a straight face. Idk, maybe itās the fact how historical the city isā¦ I just think it gives me some sort of empressās vibesā¦?
What do we think?
Vlogs from my trip will be published soon, donāt miss it!
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
I'm off on a trip with my parents for nearly a week. I don't want to go. You'd think, why not just say no? Why not say, Ā«Go on then, I'm not going!Ā»? But that's because it's risky. Do you find that your parents cut off all financial support the moment you show the slightest sign of discontent? Why does my saying, Ā«I don't want to go with you,Ā» mean I'll have no education and my dog won't get any food? Why am I punished for my hatred, which is caused by your actions?
Why am I the bad one just because you were bad parents who didn't even want me to be born? Why am I a bad person simply because you decided to have me even though you didn't want to, and now I'm to blame for it? After all that, do I not have the right to say Ā«NoĀ» to you and refuse to go with you, just to avoid your endless lectures, rowdy outbursts and everything else?
All right, Dad, I'll be a bad person. I'll pack the things you don't like. I'll go on the trip I didn't want to go on. And I'll ruin it for you simply because YOU asked me to come with you. All right, Dad, I'll do as you say. I'll be a bad child to you, so that you won't be bad people to yourselves
P.S. I will probably film some of this trip for my YouTube channel. Not for you. For myself. And for those who also feel trapped when they go "home". If you want to see how I survive this ā I'll be posting vlog on YouTube and some pictures and notes here, on Tumblr. You are not alone in this. Stay safe, my dryads
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
Just a couple of days ago, one of my YouTube subscribers said I reminded her of the singer Aurora.
To say that I adore her work would be an understatement. So today I decided to put together a look inspired by her!
How would you rate this look?
Also some of my favorite songs of hers
On my YouTube channel, you can find a short video showing how I put this look together, and I also explain what guided me through the process https://youtube.com/@pixienitmirt?si=ssYEw1IjGTwdw7YY
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
This is the final post in a series about my tarot decks. And now I'm going to tell you about my very first deck of cards, which, in fact, isn't really tarot at all.
Mystic Shaman's Oracle
I got the it when I was about 14, and it became my first deck. Well, that was clearly a mistake, as it isn't quite tarot in the classical sense. It's a separate system requiring the highest level of intuition and already a basic understanding of what tarot is in general. I didn't have any of that; I just had the desire to get started. Well. I was wrong. After reading the cards for half a year, I gave up. And I only returned to this deck when I was 19. Again, this was after the arrival of my fateful Thoth Tarot!
So what sort of deck is this, and why do I need it? I thought it was the very deck that would 'predict the future' and all that sort of nonsense. Of course, NO tarot deck predicts the future. It suggests probabilities, reflects your emotions, and helps draw the answer out of you when you already know it but don't realise it. All of thatāyes. But I didn't realise that. And, generally speaking, I had no idea what tarot was all about. I was, in essence, just a little girl ā please don't hold it against meā¦ but now, at last, this deck's time has come, and I've come to understand it.
For me, this deck turned out to be an absolutely amazing tool, one that I've only recently been able to understand. It doesn't answer questions about the world around us. It's specifically designed to draw answers out of me. It won't answer the question: 'What should I do to achieve this outcome?' She's more likely to respond with: 'Why on earth am I even fixated on this outcome?'. This is a heartfelt, spiritual deck designed to help you explore your inner world. It helps me make sense of myself during difficult times in a way that no other deck can. It offers me guidance on how best to express my creativity. What's moreāthanks to it, I've fulfilled my dream and decided to start a YouTube channel first, and then this personal blog on Tumblr. For me, this is the most spiritual and intimate deck. The very first, the most 'unsuccessful', the most misunderstood and, ultimately, the one closest to my heart. What an amazing thing!
And, as usual, some associations! A scent? What does it smell likeā¦? To me, it's the scent of a book. A fantasy book. Opened and lying on a table bathed in sunlight, its pages warmed by the sun's rays. It doesn't teach you physics, nor does it help you make sense of psychology or finance. But it allows you to find yourself in completely imaginary worlds; it doesn't restrict you, but rather lets you spread your wings to the full extent of your soul. That's what it smells like to me. And a songā¦ Let's go with this one. Why not!
You can see more of me on my YouTube channel ā I'll be waiting for you there, my lovely dryads!
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
I'm continuing my series on my tarot decks. Now itās time for the deck I find most difficult to get on with.
The Rider-Waite Taror
So, the Rider-Waite Tarot, stylised with cats. Or, as I call it, the Cat Tarot. This is my third deck. By this point, I'd already studied Tarot quite thoroughly and realised I needed a deck based on the most fundamental systemāRider-Waite. Then I spotted this gorgeous deck in a bookshop. I love cats, I love Tarot, and it's based on the standard system!
"A truly fateful encounter," I thought.
"Thinking isn't your thing," the stars replied. Oh well. And so began our adventures.
At first, I tried very hard to study it. I learnt the manual by heart, scoured YouTube for guides, ploughed through about four books. And the result? I didn't feel a thing. The deck is brilliant. The illustrations are absolutely delightful. I understood the system inside out. But it just didn't click. That's when I first realised: a deck, and the whole system, might simply be "not for youā. Now, since my fateful Thoth deck arrived, my Cat Tarot mostly lies idle, resting quietly in its little box.
Anyway, right now I'm trying to get used to it, and it's getting used to me. It's not easy, but we're working on it. I don't want such a beauty to be left lying around doing nothing.
It's become something of a tradition for me to talk about associations. To me, this deck smells of baked goods. A strange association, I know, but that's just how it is. I rarely pop into a bakery, so I hardly ever notice this scent. But sometimes, on special days, when I catch a sweet whiff from around a corner, I find myself turning towards the bakery without even realising it. On very rare occasions, I might even pop in and buy somethingābut no. I'll just stand there, gaze at the display window, and walk on with a warm, solitary sadness in my heart.
And I've found a song that fits too. I think that's how this deck sounds. That's how it feels. Even the quote from the song is perfect, but I recommend listen to it fully, as I love this song with my whole heart. I reckon that's what might be on its mind (yes, I'm talking about the cards, however funny that might sound)
āI don't wanna be the owner of your fantasy
I just wanna be a part of your familyā
You can find more of me and my creative work on my YouTube channel. I'll be waiting for you, lovely dryads! https://youtube.com/@pixienitmirt?si=844C8dc1IsfblNim
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
I'm continuing my series of posts about all the tarot decks I own. Now the deck that feels most "like mine." It was the last one I bought, but it has become the most significant.
Thoth Tarot
A surprisingly underrated system. Most well-known decks are based on Rider-Waite, but this is a completely different systemādevised by Aleister Crowley. And, oh stars, this is my system.
My history with Tarot is rather sad, actually. I got my first deck when I was about 14. And... it just didn't click. More decks came. And... nothing? Yes, I loved them, but I didn't feel that special connection, you know? It wasn't it.
Then this spring, at 19, I bought my Thoth Tarot deck. This deck turned out to be the one. Now I use it for everything. The other decks come into my hands maybe once a month, kept safe in a little box. But this deck occupies a place of honour on my desk and never leaves it. That's how close it has become.
Although this system is, in many ways, cruder and darker, it struck me as the most welcoming. With this deck, I finally began to get closer to the Tarot as a whole. After Thoth came into my life, I started feeling unity with the other decks too. It became my guide into the world of Tarot.
As for "my cards"ādefinitely the Prince of Discs and the Fool. They come up all the time, in almost every reading. They really sum me up. The Fool: an unexpected, chaotic start to something new. The Prince of Discs: a slow, persistent builder, working in the dark while no one watches, moving brick by brick toward success. Polar oppositesābut both mine. And the deck makes this clear. It's the only deck that communicates with me so sincerely.
What does this deck feel like? Oh, it's a shame you don't know my native languageāthere's a perfect song. But I did my best to pick something that feels right. Several songs, actually. It's a complicated relationship. This deck is my guide, my dearest refuge. Thanks to it, I finally understood this world and truly wanted to become part of it.
What does it smell like? The scent of wind, of some other world. Cold. Wet petals. A waterfall. First snow. But none of this in a grim senseārather tranquillity. Contemplation.
More of me on my YouTube channel. I'm gonna wait for you to come, my dryad. And in other posts on Tumblr, of course.
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
I thought I'd introduce you to all the tarot decks I use. I've got four (there might be more in the future). I'll start with the one I use the least.
Manara Tarot
To be honest, this deck is interesting and very specific. I rarely use it, as it's quite narrowly specialised. It's a deck about relationships and everything connected with them. However, not long ago I discovered a new use for it ā the search for one's identity and gender. For me, this is still an open question, although I'm clearly getting closer to the answer. I think I'll be able to make a video about it on YouTube in August. Maybe even a couple. Who knows.
I came across it quite by chance. A friend ordered it in the wrong language (Spanish), which she didn't know. And I was studying Spanish at the time. That's how the deck ended up with me. A chance, even silly, encounter. Yet here we are, together.
For me, she's like the Lady of the Tarot world. The deck itself evokes a certain awe in me, a kind of numbing reverence. To some extent, I'm a little wary of it. The symbolism and illustrations are very distinctive, quite aggressive, if I may put it that way. It's an extremely intimate deck in every sense, and I rarely use it. But when I do manage to read the cards, a special atmosphere of mystery and even a sense of being part of something is created.
And if we talk about scentsādead roses, blood and patchouli. An extremely intimate one! Also decided to add a song to it, the association is really strong
In my next posts, Iāll be talking about the rest of my decks! I think this could be really useful.
You can find out more about me on my YouTube channel:
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isnāt it? I reckon Iām a right ugly duckling here (a thought that often crosses my mind when Iām struggling with body dysmorphia), but someone I love told me I look absolutely lovely. Beauty is in the eye of the beholderā¦ I suppose Iāll just have to go with that.
āAnd I am the idiot with the painted face
In the corner, taking up space
But when he walks in, I am loved, I am lovedā
by Mitski
Do you think beauty really is in the eye of the beholder? Can I be beautiful if, by all the standards, Iām not perfect?
Write your answers please
More Pixie Nitmirt on the YouTube channel:
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
If you walk past me, youāll know exactly what happened to me beforehand just by catching a whiff of these scents:
āBlack Vanillaā by Zielinski&Rozen
The scent of laughter, noise and fun. Thatās what I smell like on days when I really want to be happy. Itās the scent of playfulness, wit, sarcasm and wild escapades. Perhaps, just a couple of minutes before we met, I was running around an amusement park with my friends, cracking the nastiest jokes on the planet to my heartās content
āAnge Ou Demonā by Givenchy
This fragrance is meant for certain people. Most likely, Iām rushing off to a date, clutching my handbag, or returning from it calmly and dreamily, gazing up at the starry sky and sighing wistfully. This fragrance is the lingering scent of a wonderful evening date, spent in warm conversation about our innermost dreams
āCÅur Azukiā by KENZO
Iām running home, to my own world. Now Iāll lose myself in nature, in fantasy books and films, in my daydreams, and Iāll never come back. Stars will twinkle in my eyes, and I myself will no longer be part of this world; Iāll fly far, far away. My soul will soar above this world, leaving behind the sweet scent of petals after the rain
āApple&Lotusā by Zielinski&Rozen
Iāve just gone through a cleansing experience. Itās not clear, of course, what sort. Maybe I just had a shower, maybe Iāve re-evaluated my whole life, maybe I bought some new eyeshadow and my soul was reborn out of sheer happiness. I donāt know. But something happened. I canāt say what, butā¦ something. Not bad, not good. Just something. If you ask, Iāll just smile and close my eyes, or perhaps Iāll laugh and give you a big, silly hug
If, however, you ever catch me without perfume, wellā¦ Try to remember the scent of my soul, because Iāve never opened up like this to anyone before. You know me better than anyone else
More of me on my YouTube channel:
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
Hi, dryads. Letās talk about the sunshine of my life, Pandora
I'd wanted a dog for 16 years. Ever since I was a child, I asked for one. Every year I got a soft toy instead. At 18, I finally got her.
(Me at Panda going home together. August 3. 2024)
We've been through a lot. The first months I cried at night and thought about giving her back. It seemed we just couldn't get along. Then she learnt to keep me in check. She's the reason I get up in the mornings. She's there when I'm down, and when I'm okay. She's just... always there.
Pandora is two now. I'm amazed at how deeply I can love someone. She's the little one in this world I want to protect with all my heart.
Soon I'm leaving for a six-month internship in China. And I'm scared. She's already been without me once ā she stayed with a friend and had a brilliant time. But still. I'm scared. The only thing that reassures me: our story isn't over yet. We have so much ahead of us.
You can see more of Pandora (and my internship btw) on my YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@pixienitmirt?si=CKtgo5wXEj1K0Ppm
A gentle place for girlies to find yourself, heal your relationship with your body, and romanticize the little things
Hi, my name is Pixie
Let your forest grow wild and your roots run deep.
