#edains

[ezrisdax-archive]

for @edains

[clericofshadows]

35. A kiss against the wall for Regis/Zaeed pls?

ngl I've been wanting to rewrite and start fresh with so much of regis's canon. and pharmacy rotations keep me so busy that writing is the last thing on the brain.

so here's an alternate version of Zaeed's recruitment :)

--

Zaeed's dossier was stuck in his brain. Every detail repeating over and over as he stood in the airlock waiting for decontamination to end before hunting him down on Omega. It was a mantra, something to ground him and focus on after the fucking disaster that was talking to the sorry excuse for the human councilor.

Choosing Anderson was the biggest mistake of his career. And now he's paying for it with no information, no support, and no way of knowing if he'll follow through and get a secure message to Kaidan. Or even to Ashley. To let them know from something instead of rumors and unfeeling intel.

Because he's sure as shit not risking anything with Kaidan. Not with that damn photo on his desk. Not with how secret and intimate and theirs that photo was.

And maybe that was the problem. He's fine with bringing Zaeed along in all this shit but not Kaidan. Priorities, huh. But Kaidan was the one with a picture in his cabin.

Not Zaeed. And he can leverage that.

And they never even gave him his omnitool back. Probably where they stole the damned photo from and they didn't even have the courtesy to give it back to him.

New armor. New fucking scarf. New body. Put back together with all his ink and piercings and scars too.

Stuck with old memories and a lingering feeling of dread and a burning throat every time he closed his eyes.

It was harder this time to go alone. Both Taylor and Lawson kept citing the "danger" of Omega as if he hasn't been many times as a civilian. Not that they seemed to know with the way they introduced the station to him. Do they not know about Vik? Shit. Vik has eyes and ears through the dancers they take of... but they are discreet.

Another piece of his life he wants far away from Cerberus.

They also act like he isn't an N7 who knows numerous ways to gut the both of them in front of their cowardly leader far away on his bullshit hologram.

He snorted a little to himself at that image. Lawson looked at him curiously, if a little like he was a bug under a microscope. Goto seemed a little more welcoming, if still cautious about Cerberus.

The question burned in his head with every dossier he read. Were they going to join for him or for Cerberus? He hated both answers.

But Zaeed. He was... Zaeed. The merc they met and fell in love with on am Omega shore leave gone wrong... Or right as Kaidan would call it, even though they parted before daring to breathe a single word of their feelings. Breathy moans and the feeling of gripped sheets was what they shared.

He would join for the job. The exorbitant hazard pay. The story that would come after.

And Regis could live with that.

When the airlock opened, he took a deep breath and adjusted the scarf around his neck. It felt like a vice.

He walked ahead at a fast pace without even looking to see if Lawson and Goto were following. It wasn't fair to Goto. It was the least Lawson deserved.

But his breath caught in his throat when he saw that yellow armor as he turned the corner. Pushing past the salarian and the batarian that tried to stop and talk to him.

Ain't nothing else like it.

He once said to them. Not long after their first fight together. Damn vorcha, he had said. Their blood and guts get fucking everywhere. And you two assholes are cleaning my shit up for fucking up my target.

It wasn't long after that they started fucking.

The batarian Zaeed was grabbing turned and tried to get away. He heard that snarling growl of Zaeed's. "What a fucking idiot."

The sharp sound of an Eagle shot pierced the air right as he stepped to almost hug the wall.

His gaze flicked over to him as Zaeed was holstering the gun. He always carried an Eagle. Even requisitioned one for Kaidan.

Zaeed didn't seem like a fan back in 2180.

But it was 2185 and he was brought back to life. Anything can fucking happen.

"You Shepard?" He asked, looking him up and down as he leaned against the bulkhead. No recognition. Except...

He traced a finger down his jawline. A symbol Kaidan and him taught Zaeed. Their symbol for getting ready for attacking with biotics. Usually to launch someone back or to pull some unlucky bastard forward for a well placed combo. Or a bullet to the brain.

He nodded as he heard footsteps behind him, catching up. Weapons holstering. Likely held back after the gunshot. This is why he worked alone.

Except with the SR-1 crew. Kaidan. Ashley. Tali. Wrex.

Tali knows he's alive. He's sure Kaidan and Ashley have heard. Wrex... Who knows where he ended up after heading back to his home world.

Zaeed sneered. "I ain't talking to you unless you're alone. My contract, my fucking terms."

Regis turned around and shook his head when Lawson opened her mouth. "This is why I wanted to handle all these bullshit dossiers on my own terms. Either I'll be back on the ship with another, or I won't."

She narrowed her eyes as Goto took the initiative to lead her away. But Goto seemed to wink at him before fully turning away.

Maybe he does have an ally with her.

He only stepped forward to meet Zaeed when he stopped hearing footsteps. Let his guard down briefly. Reached out with his hand. Taking a breath before--Zaeed grabbed his scarf and his hand before yanking him around and swapping places, pushing him up against the wall with a growl and that goddamn Eagle under his chin.

You two might be Alliance. You might be a goddamn N7. But you're not a fucking Terminus merc.

Later he would call them the best he's ever worked with, but that's beyond the point right now.

The expression on Zaeed's face was a pure snarl. But something behind his eyes lingered. Hope? Fear? He couldn't say.

Maybe didn't want to say.

"Zaeed, it's me--" He tried to speak, tried to reassure, but was quickly cut off by other shout.

"You shut the hell up before I do it for you." Zaeed's grip on him tightened.

Regis closed his eyes before opening them, rimmed with violet biotics. "You told me that first night you've never seen a human with purple fucking biotics." He managed to bite out between shortened breaths. Maybe saying a prayer to an Asari goddess he didn't believe in, but invoked Her name just like he did. Just like how Vik would worship each night at their Athame shrine. Healing and strength.

Protection and patience.

Knowledge and respect.

The grip on his neck wavered. The gun under his chin slowly removed.

Zaeed's lips were on his before he could even say another fucking word. Pushed up against a dirty Omega bulkhead after nearly blowing his brains out. Rough, chapped lips against smooth. Stubble against a beard. Gun oil and smoke against citrus and ozone.

He parted his lips and let Zaeed in. Let him tangle a gloved hand in his curls and moaned at the touch he craved since waking up on Cerberus's slab.

Kaidan's face and voice and promises echoed in the back of his head. But was this betrayal when they both wanted this, wanted more than two weeks of leave?

Zaeed pulled away after a nibble on his lips. A string of saliva connecting him for a brief moment before it was lost. Panting breaths and beating hearts settled between them.

"Get out of that fucking head of yours. We decided to start fucking after you--" Zaeed shook his head, swearing. Sounded like a batarian swear. But the fact that he couldn't even say it--

The absurdity of the situation caused him to let out a choked laugh. "So he did listen to my goddamn will."

Zaeed snorted, the tension in the air slowly deflating. "You have a lot to talk about. How the hell are you walking around like nothing happened for the last two goddamn years?"

Two goddamn years.

"I don't know."

That was the most vulnerable he's allowed himself to sound since all this started. Burning with no oxygen to in a burning lab.

But Zaeed clapped his shoulder and started pushing him back towards the docking arm from where he came.

"You have me to help you figure that shit out. But Cerberus owes me one last contract. I'll send you the details later. I have shit to transfer to your ship."

He smiled at him. Probably the first real smile he's had, too, since waking up. "There's always a catch."

Zaeed only smirked. "You should know that by now."

More than. But he'll take all the catches in the world to finally have someone he can trust to watch his back.

[inthedusksynria]

LOOK WHO THE GHB UNIT IS CHECK TWITTER RIGHT NOW!!!

WHAT I AM SO CONFUSED!! No way it can be someone i care for for i mean who in the top 10 would they -

I -

I -

*SEES IT*

(Adding on edit:)  FEH Twitter: Also, the next Grand Hero Battle with Pelleas: Ashnard's Orphan will start Aug. 18, 12 AM PT. 

PELLEAS MY FUCKING BOY

SOMEONE FUCKING HOLD ME!!!

MICAIAS ARE SCREAMING! DAIENS SOLDIERS ARE CHEERING!!

I AM ZOONING THROWN THE ORDER OF HEROS CHANDELIERS LIKE A POSSESSED FERAL SQUIRREL

I CATN FUCKING BELIEVE THIS MY BOY IS HERE

CYL IS OVER THIS THIS IS PERFECT

TIME TO SHOVE ALL SKILLS INTO HIM AND GO FERAL OVER BALBERITH!

I WILL FUCKING SCREAM AND ACCEPT CYL5 AS SACRIFICES IF PELLEAS SHOWS UP WITH BALBERITH

[clericofshadows]

🔥 on how you feel on how mod devs are treated?

And 🔥 for zaeed since I always like hearing your zaeed thoughts

🔥 - mod devs

I could go a lot of ways with this one, but my biggest complaint about nexus mods is that curating your feed/pages is very reactive versus proactive. this is probably an unpopular opinion on the user side of things now that I think about it versus the mod dev side, but whatev

like on tumblr, you can block whenever/whoever you want. but if I see a user's behavior I don't like on another page and maybe want to avoid the chance of that coming on my pages? the only time I can block a user from commenting on a mod/all my mods is when they comment. so I have to potentially suffer some bullshit and see that bullshit before I can get rid of it. the only good thing I can say is that you can block any devs from your feed (thank god so I don't have to see orikon's or f80h's on MELE) but overall I wish I had more tools at my disposal

and broadly, too many users get offended when you don't cater to them, or even when you call them out. I always say that I love seeing comments on AO3, but on nexus, I feel a tiny bit of dread when opening up a comment

🔥 - zaeed

I feel like this is unpopular, but I do like the idea that he can be a little bit of a softie in some scenarios. maybe even have a secret heart of gold if the stars align. and not just because of my masshenko/ regis/kaidan/zaeed pariing that makes me want to assign a bit of softness to him, but in general, like, he still carries around a broken gun. he feels like the type of guy to see that as shit to throw away. it's not going to help him survive a job with the only man standing or complete a contract for a client, but he still lugs it around. even to bring it to a cerberus ship. but it's enough that gives me the fuel to make him a little sentimental or soft to things/people he ends up caring about

[clericofshadows]

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥: can i say every number? lol but for real i'll go with: 8, 13 & 25

thanks! lol I do have opinions™

choose violence ask game

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about.

this is easy pickings but... Kaidan is boring/Ashley is racist. It feels common enough to the point where we still have posts all the damn time saying they aren't and then people still have the audacity to invade posts/gifs/anything about them and be little shits and can't understand why people like them.

as in, the motivation as to why I love making armory mods for the VS, not just because I love them, but because of the hate I still see directed towards them for... existing.

13. Worst blorboficiation.

Oh. Easy. Garrus. I swear you say one slightly criticizing thing about him and some ppl cry "but my poor widdle baby turian."

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing.

Hmm... I'm not 100% sure but does people complaining about Ashley/Kaidan's reaction on Horizon count? Because yeah, they were right and always will be right, and they were one of the only ones that had a reasonable reaction to you being with Cerberus. And it is cheating if you move on with a ME2 LI IMO and I will die on that hill.

[clericofshadows]

hmm curious: does miranda ask for the alliance intelligence/resources in regis' canon? if she does, how is his response in terms of giving it over to her?

she does! but he's very cautious because he gains a lot of trust issues during ME2. he knows she's a strong asset, and Regis has a mindset during ME3 of "what can I use during this war to our utmost advantage," which feeds into him willing to give her the information, despite his issues. and after Horizon she joins the Normandy and he lets her onboard with no hesitation (like in Miranda Mod).

in fact, after Regis learns who brought his body to Cerberus in the first place and confronts Miranda about it--and why she didn't tell him who did it in the first place--(which will be its own fic after the reunion™ fic), they kind of... start over?

their relationship gets better after Regis learns more about her history and her loyalty mission, and Regis kind of starts to realize that a lot of Cerberus's members turned to the org because it appeared to be their only choice. not that it really changes his opinion on anything, but he lessens up on his strict black & white view. he's still a major ass to the Cerberus crew, but he's now willing to take Jacob and Miranda on some missions.

during the party (which for me is about one year post-war) they both admit to each other that if things were different, they could have been great friends. they have a lot of similar interests and have a lot to bond over--and eventually years post-war, they do get there--but what could've been is stained by Cerberus.

thanks for the ask <3

[ezrisdax-archive]

for @edains

[clericofshadows]

📓!

thanks!

daydream fanfics ask

I've toyed with an AU where Vik is the one who teaches Regis how to be a biotic instead of being shipped to BAaT. Vik's been in Regis's life since he was little, so they watched him grow up and get exposed to eezo. But in Hannah's intense worry, she wanted something "official" and sent Regis to BAaT.

However, in this AU, Vik with Adrian's help manages to convince Hannah to let a matriarch with years of experience teaching young maidans and commandos to teach Regis and to take care of him. He ends up learning with a custom Asari amp made by Vik to go along with his L2, still gains in interest in cybernetics, and goes to university to get his degree. He still joins the Alliance and chooses to not only pursue a spec ops role, but also one with a medical concentration. Because of this, he also has a healthier view on space, since he was able to live with Adrian and occasionally Vik on Earth and spend some time on Omega (where he meets Zaeed quite earlier on, around the time Regis is in university).

Regis is more of an Adept in this AU with a sniper specialization and doesn't rely as much on his programs. He still is at Torfan, he still becomes the Butcher and an N7, but a notable part of this AU is that he meets Kaidan on Omega. It's changed some, as Regis is on Omega visiting Vik, which leads to him working with Zaeed as a favor, they both hear rumors from Vik about a biotic causing trouble in the Vorcha mafia, and well... Regis and Zaeed meet Kaidan, they all team up (and fuck), deal with the mafia and Zaeed's target, and they go their separate ways.

until the Normandy, where Regis and Kaidan meet again with a very interesting past, and both of them are trying to decide if they should bring up Omega, or let it lie...