Always thinking about you
Hara’s death changed me. I hate that she's gone. She was a powerful source of light, of good, and now there’s just that much more darkness in the world. Her absence is felt every day. Nothing seems right without her. This reminds me of forky from toy story. He keeps throwing himself in the garbage because he thinks he’s trash, but he’s not. Did Hara think she was trash? Is that why she tried to kill herself the first time? Then she kept on living for a short while and succeeded in taking her own life. She kept jumping in the trash can, but why? She was not trash, no, she was quite the opposite. She was gold, precious jewels, priceless, and yet, she could not see her worth. The darkness can’t win unless you let it. Don’t let your flame go out. Let it shine bright. Life may not always be easy, but you are never alone. A lot of things in this world don’t seem quite right. People say “I loved him” or “I loved her” when someone has passed. However, that’s not right. You don’t stop loving someone when they die and that’s why it hurts, why it’ll always hurt. I still love Hara and the pain is never going away. I often find myself at the verge of tears just thinking about her. I wish she could’ve seen her worth and known how much she was loved by her brother, her friends, and fans. I wanted to meet her. That was a big life goal and now it’s nothing more than a delusion. Whenever I think about my most perfect version of myself I see Hara. I realized I didn’t have any Hara photo cards so I purchased some. I needed some of my Queen. Rest now sweet angel.