@alitlantern // Deeper and Deeper Down
If Bartrand is set on taking this path specifically, then it would at the very least be a few days out…it would perhaps be better to sustain themselves on hunted game rather than the provisions they were taking with them. That wouldn’t be hard, Hawke had done so enough the few times Father would take them out to train, and then on their own after…
“Are you ruminating over those maps again?”
Their brother’s voice shook them from their thoughts. He’d been off trying to hone his skills, chatting about with their dwarven caravan, anything to get more of an idea of what they were facing. They thought they had a moment alone. Just enough to ensure they would be prepared. That nothing would go awry. That they could come out of this with the riches Mother was owed, and things could be alright for their family again.
When they didn’t immediately respond, Carver leaned himself back against the half-wall Hawke had perched themself on.
“...You’re thinking too much about what Mother said, aren’t you?” He inquired, causing them to glance up from the maps they were glued to.
“No I’m not. I’m just making sure Bartrand isn’t leading us to our deaths. You never really know with Dwarves…”
“Oh, don’t lie to me. If it were just you going, you wouldn’t care about that. You’d figure out a way to escape and come back home already over it.” He eased himself against the wall, preparing a deep cut only a sibling could execute.
“I’d rather you not worry about me. I mean you know I can hold my own.”
They did know. They’d heard the stories of Ostagar, even if they weren’t necessarily told in the manner of celebration. So they’d had to retreat in the end, but none could be prouder of him that he’d held the line until someone had to drag him out of there. It was so very like him…he’d always tried to do more.
…and this was his thing he needed to do. They wouldn’t stop him from that. But…
But if it wasn’t perfect, if someone messed up. If something happened to him, after Bethany…
They could still see Mother’s eyes as they set off for the front gates. The bitterness they held for taking her baby boy too, as if they weren’t there. As if she’d forgotten she still had two children left and not just Carver and a shadow of his father.
If they messed up and something happened to Carver, no riches in the world would be able to mend the gaping hole between them.
They inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly, as if exorcising the thought from their mind. “I know. I just…I’m really at a loss. I’m trying to cover all my corners, but…” But this wasn’t something they knew, not really. Sure, they’d taken down many a darkspawn on the way to safety, but that was out of necessity, without warning. And their inexperience had cost a life. They had the time to plan now, and they wouldn’t make the same mistakes, not with how many lives were at stake.
“Well, why not bother our Warden of maps with your concerns? I’m sure he could fill any gaps you might have.” He offered, unable to help a scoff as he scanned the party of pregaming dwarves, before his gaze set on the singular, taller figure a good distance away, looking as stiff as ever.
“And he might need the conversation besides…he’s been pacing so terribly since we’ve left the city limits, I fear he may run himself faint. Would be a bit of a waste to bring him along if he’s hardly conscious~”
It…wasn’t a bad idea honestly. In the few weeks since their introduction to each other, Hawke had come to understand Anders as someone who…had a lot of opinions and ideas, to put it simply. But it wasn’t a bad thing, like some might claim. They never really minded when people spoke their minds. They liked to listen, and the company they’d been keeping recently were very good at bantering amongst themselves.
They hoisted themself off of the wall then, set on collecting a pointer or two from the other mage, but not before giving a subtle nod of thanks to their Junior, who simply shrugged it off.
It wasn’t that hard to slip past the raucous merrymaking the dwarves were spewing, so involved were they with talk of riches, fame, and a good adventure that they hardly paid any mind to one of their benefactors wandering by; Even Varric seemed pleasantly preoccupied with the praises his brother was throwing about the alarmingly competent company he kept.
They’d probably hear about that later, when things had settled down, but for now they would keep to their singular company, walking up the path a bit to the rather…tense looking mage.
“Anders, I could use you for a moment, if you don’t mind-” They began, before glancing up from the maps once more and getting a good look at him from behind. He didn’t exactly seem as enthusiastic as the others were about this whole thing.
Well, that made two of them.
“Ah…” They cleared their thoat, approaching with what they thought was a more appropriate and less forward tone. “If you’re amenable, I’d like your opinion on this whole thing. What should we be expecting, really?”