EFREC Counselling Session 14.04.2020
Today I had a telephone appointment with Ruth (forgot last name) at the Edinburgh Fertility and Reproductive Endocrinology Centre (EFREC for short).
Overall it was a positive experience. I was expecting transphobia and was pleasantly surprised. I spoke about needing to present a palatable narrative to access treatment and my fears about being misgendered or treated transphobically, or being denied treatment etc now, and further down the line when/if I retrieve my eggs, and was at least acknowledged in my fears, although really there’s not much she can do about them. She said that the laws around fertility preservation for trans people are still under development, so I hope that by being honest about my needs and advocating for the needs of other trans people I might be able to at the very least just give them some accurate data to work with.
I learned that I can freeze my eggs and store them for free on the NHS, for more than 10 years provided that I do not drink alcohol, smoke tobacco, use illegal drugs, or have a BMI over 30 at the time I am undergoing clinical procedures.
To use my eggs some options have NHS funding and some do not, although this funding is likely to change over the next 5,10,20 years so likely will be different when I actually get round to using them. On the NHS either myself or someone I am in a “long term stable relationship” with (which here means: married/civil-partnered, demonstrably living together for at least the last two years, and emotionally stable (as decided by whoever the fuck assesses this at the clinic?)) can use my eggs for IVF or ICSI. Apparently lesbians can only have one baby by IVF on the NHS which is wild, so if me and my legal partner are both legally women that sucks for us I guess?? I would consider changing my legal gender to get more babies tbh.
Also the single long term partner thing could complicate my relationships because I am polyamorous and having a single long term partner who I’d want to have kids with is only one of several relationship structures I can see myself in! Possibly I can see a scenario where we use one of our other partners as our sperm donor? IDK but there must be polyam ppl who’ve gone through this who I can read the stories of!
What if neither myself nor my legal partner can/want to be pregnant? Surrogacy does NOT have NHS funding, which means I guess I have to get fake married to someone if they want to be my surrogate??? Which complicates things bc I wanted to be able to get usefully fake married to someone for immigration reasons... Apparently atm surrogacy costs upwards of £10k, including medical and legal fees. It’s not currently legal to pay for a surrogate although you can give them financial aid and gifts.
What if the law changes? I can get up to date legal information from the clinic by asking them for it to be posted to me. If the law gets more restrictive, well, that would suck. Hopefully the law will get kinder towards queer people.
Can my eggs could be moved around the country? Yes although funding may be different for procedures as different postcodes have different clinical commissioning groups. Do I have the right to travel back to Lothian and have my IVF/ICSI here on the NHS if I move to a different postcode? Unknown - she will get back to me on it.
Am I allowed to bring someone with me to the clinic? Yes, and it’s recommended! I can bring a companion with me to appointments but they aren’t allowed into the operating room with me. I also have to have a lift arranged for my return after the oocyte retrieval due to the effects of the sedative and she’s going to check for me if I can get a taxi paid for by the clinic.
What else did I learn? I have the option to have more counselling, which I’ll probably take her up on after I’ve seen the clinician. Currently all treatment is paused due to coronavirus, but I am on the waiting list and I’ll be told when my next appt. is when they know! I might not have to stop taking T to have the oocyte retrieval. If I use a sperm donor the child will have a legal right to find out who the donor is once they turn 18. I have to go for multiple scans where they stick a camera probe up there... The procedure involves using instruments that go into the vagina so I should have a think about that - what I want to tell the doctors etc...
Things I still want to find out:
- do I still get IVF/ICSI for free if I’m legally male
- how does the procedure work?