Discover Top Posts Tagged with #egg is venting

current state of mind

#egg is venting #couldnt sleep otherwise im only a tiny bit sorry #maybe someone can get a laugh out of it :>#worshitposting #smhtdf

part of me wants to think that thats a weird outlier. something that the actual band would never endorse. and i think i will hold onto that belief with an iron grip until we get definitive proof of anything else. still, its a vomit-inducing thought. so many incredible artists in this fandom they could hire instead. make it make sense

muun.illustrations /// bad.tokenn (now reversed.symmetry)

#egg is venting #and no i am not including myself in that in case anyone's wondering #the whole thing is just so fucking sad idek what to say really #sleep token

finding out that lani is a bigot was not on my bingo card for this year but then again none of the shit that keeps on happening is

#fuck this guy #i saw him share weird stuff a while ago but wasnt sure if i was misinterpreting it #so i let it go #but now theres no way back #and him pulling the “i have black friends i cant be racist” card???#man go fuck yourself #seriously #egg is venting #ik hes still young #and there is always time to learn and grow #but i feel like if youre over 20 and a public figure on a professional account you should know better

god i hope they didnt just drop this reel to save chris from the "fans"

#egg is venting #honestly not in the mood at all #im not even excited #fuck

something is fundamentally wrong with me and i dont know what it is. i went into the new year almost optimistic, the whole yeah its a new start in my new life kind of thing. and then it only got worse and i only got worse. being tired constantly has gotten to a point where i cant do my job properly anymore, i take 3x as long to do routine tasks, i cant focus, i can't remember things, i cant draw logical conclusions from info im getting; its terrifying, like I'm only waiting for my boss to realize that im failing harder than ever before

how do i fix this? theres nothing physically wrong with me, i dont feel depressed, and acc to my psychiatrist i dont have ADD because i performed too well on those tests

so like. what else is there apart from me not "trying hard enough" and "being lazy"? i genuinely dont understand how people live their lives, how they just do things without having that bone deep tiredness stuck in their bodies. how do people function? i wanted to go out yesterday to run some errands and almost didnt make it because i had to nap before i could even think about leaving the flat. or was it the day before that? i genuinely don't remember

#egg is venting #just the usual #im tired and its probably my fault #dunno #my apologies for not having any art to post #i feel like ive been offline for most of January

#patience truly is a skill i want to learn #so important and i keep failing like a litte kid #egg is venting

if tumblr feels alienating, if IG feels like im trying to meet KPIs at work and twitter is full of puritanical nut jobs who have very clearly been at the devils sacrament then where tf do i go.

ive done everything in my power to curate my dash here on tumblr and still things slip through. and it doesnt really upset me all that much but it feels off and i dont know how to fix it. and i would never tell anyone to censor themselves obviously. its a problem on my end that i need to fix. i just dont know how or where to go instead. i miss the old internet so much. i miss feeling at home somewhere where i can also be myself at the same time. and i thought i had found a place like that when i restarted this blog roughly a year ago but the more familiar i become with this band and this fandom the less i want to see certain things.

#egg is venting #i'll still post my art here so if you care about that please ignore this #not putting this on private beause i know that some people on here care and i feel like i need to explain my absence #if you want to reach me im on discord always #just dm and i can add you #hope you all are doing better than i am #take care

#egg is venting #waiting at the doctor's office #theyre gonna check my blood for The Vitamin that im missing #much fun #i cant imagine they will find much but maybe things have gotten worse enough for them to finally show?#if they dont find anything then maybe this is the “proof” i need for my therapist to finally take another look at me #honestly im just making shit up dreaming at this point and hoping that theres something that can fix me #but maybe its not meant to be #in a way i can accept that too #just wish there was a definitive answer #hope you all are doing well #take care #--------------#update: my blood is fine and my kidneys are perfect even #so the bad news is that i still dont know whats wrong with me #but the good news is if i have to sell a kidney for the next ST tour i should be fine after

#egg is venting

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