always cared 𐀔 byun euijoo
genre : fantasy, angst, a little bit of fluff, love&deepspace au, co-workers au ⋆ warnings : blood, injuries, swearing, death subject, passing out, hospital ⋆ word count : 2,221
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ୨ ✩ ୧
« i can't believe you're that stupid, » with hands dripping with blood and eyes full of worry, euijoo tried as best he could to stop the emoragy of your wound, which was far too important to be ignored, « are you sure you're capable of thinking sometimes? »
rolling your eyes and squinting at the pain, you sighed loudly, glancing at the boy in front of you. « i didn't have a choice ! » you simply defended yourself, far too preoccupied by the amount of blood you'd lost this time to have the faith to argue with the dark-haired man once more.
faced with your unconsciousness, he raised his eyes to yours with a glare filled with accusation. he didn't know what had gone through your mind to want to confront these wild beasts, these wanderers, all by yourself without waiting for him to arrive. even though he knew you were good at your job as a deepspace hunter, he couldn't help but think you were completely stupid to think you could beat them on your own. « you should have waited for me to arrive. » he answered, calmly but firmly, pressing a little more on the wound, noting that despite the pressure of his fingers, the blood wouldn't stop flowing.
« and what was i supposed to do, ej? sit back and watch those wanderers attacks the civilians around and do nothing? » you declared, your voice a little too provocative. despite your desire to remain calm, his somewhat superior behavior was enough to send you over the edge.
« you could have been killed, y/n ! » he shouted suddenly, raising his eyes once and for all to yours, « do you realize that? » — holding his gaze without flinching, despite the unbearable pain in your abdomen, you frowned and shouted back, « since when do you care about me anyway? you barely speak to me except when it's to yell at me ! » with a slight pout in your voice, but a very visible annoyance, you looked away to stare out the window, ignoring the long sigh of exasperation leaving euijoo's lips.
after weeks of being partner and teammate with the best element of the brigade, you, in all honesty, spent very little time in the company of the young boy. who, by the way, never spoke to you in the office but took great pleasure in arguing with you at every possible opportunity. it wasn't as if you hadn't tried to get closer to him so you could be a better team : you've already tried to at least have lunch with him, to get to know him better, to strengthen your complicity, and make your team stronger.. but none of your attempts had worked.
« being your partner is a real pain in the ass. » he declared suddenly, taking off his jacket and placing it against your gushing wound, obviously annoyed at having to take care of you again. you could understand that you weren't the easiest person to work with : often fearless and headlong, you had already been injured many times due to your hasty decisions, even though they were always necessary. after all, sad as it may seem, death doesn't scare you. you have no one waiting for you at home, no one to tell you that they'll miss you if you leave — all you have left is your work and the chance to save people. so if you have to die to save innocent beings, you'll do it without hesitation.
and that's why euijoo's reflection exasperated you so much — he only had to change partners if it bothered him so much to be yours. « fuck you ej. » you shouted, violently pushing his hands away from your wound. the boy looked up at you, cold eyes boring into yours, and just as you were about to make an umpteenth remark, nicholas' voice came from the driver's seat, visibly exasperated. « i beg you both to be quiet while i try to drive fast but carefully, » euijoo looked away from your eyes to observe his best friend with a desolate expression, « because with you two screaming in the back, it's really not easy. » he finally added, hands firmly gripped on the wheel and eyes focused on the road.
« i'm sorry nico, » he apologized to the other boy, and the feeling that his voice was much lower than usual suddenly struck you, « how long until we get to the hospital? »
as he finished his sentence, in a muffled sigh that struggled to reach your ringing ears, the world around you began to spin. their conversation seemed so distant, as if you were miles away from your team-mates, and not actually in the same car — and quickly, panic set in. as if you had imagined their words, everything seemed to blur around you, it was like the world were melting under the all-too-powerful sun. frightened by the fact that you couldn't breathe, your trembling hand found your partner's forearm with difficulty, brushing against his skin with what little strength you had left, his name rolling off your tongue in a barely audible breath.
in a sudden movement that made you turn away, euijoo's panicked face swiveled towards yours, his brown eyes opening like marbles. his hands, covered in your blood, settled on your cheeks, gently shaking your face to bring you back to your senses in a desperate move. you thought you saw him shouting your name — his lips moving in exactly the same way for long, long seconds without you being able to hear a single sound, while his cold, long fingers gripped your skin as if you were going to die at any moment.
and, finally, the last thing you remember is his face so close to yours that his breath brushed your skin, before being greeted by a complete blackness.
you've never given much thought to what life might be like after death. was it like in the legends? good people end up in the clouds of heaven and bad people in the depths of hell? or perhaps we were simply becoming yet another star in the sky? you definitely preferred this hypothesis. what could be better than visiting space and the universe as a pretty star filled with light? maybe it was your destiny after all. that last hasty decision cost you your life.. but wait — why do you suddenly hear such a familiar yet distant voice?
with difficulty, and with all the strength still in your muscles, you manage to open one of your eyes, a blinding light blurring your vision. « she's awake ! » this sentence, tossed from the corner of the room, came from none other than nicholas' mouth. opening your second eye, the light above you was suddenly obscured by a brown head, euijoo's half-smiling, half-worried face entering your field of vision. your gaze shifted from one of his eyes to the other, tilting your head slightly to the side. « am i dead? » you asked, your mouth dry and pasty, cutting a stifled laugh from the boy in front of you. euijoo shook his head negatively, placing his fingers gently against your left cheek. his touch was real : you could feel the softness of his skin and the coolness of his fingers against your cheekbone. « no.. no you're not dead. you're back with us. with me.. » his voice lowered as he said his last words, creating a gentle warmth in your heart.
euijoo smiled slightly, his heart probably lighter now that you had opened your eyes. he struggled to his feet and turned on his heels, warning you both that he was going to fetch a doctor. as the door to your hospital room closed behind his silhouette, you gently straightened up, aided by the kind hand of nicholas who had approached you. « how long was i asleep? » you asked him nonchalantly, unscrewing the bottle of water he was handing you, before taking two or three gulps. not expecting a response more than four or five hours, the water in your mouth was as surprised as you were to hear that you'd been in that bed for nearly four days.
« four days?! » you shouted, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, ignoring the napkin in nicholas' hands. the latter rolled his eyes and nodded, crossing his arms against his chest as he suddenly stared at the bedroom door, « and he hasn't left you for a second. »
frowning, you looked away from your water bottle to look back at the door. « mh? » a pensive pout formed on your lips, « he didn't come home to sleep? » you asked, your fingers curling into the edge of the hospital gown you were wearing, trying to ignore the bandage scratching your skin. « nope. he slept next to you every night, on this chair. » looking away from the door in the direction indicated by nicholas' index finger, your pupils settled on a blue wooden chair, which seemed far too uncomfortable to rest on properly. « what an idiot.. » you whispered, when the sound of the door suddenly opening caught your attention, and the following second, euijoo's tired face met your eyes. you felt guilty.
after many long minutes, similar to hours, alone with the doctor who wanted to observe you closely after this mission, all you remembered was that you needed a lot of rest to recover from that wound that could have cost you your life. not being able to do anything was bad enough, but not being able to do anything AND staying in that hospital room was even worse. puffing up your cheeks like a child while crossing your arms against your chest, you turned your head towards the window to ignore the doctor's warnings, the latter sighing in exasperation at your behavior, but making no comment. when the door opened to signal his departure, you glanced around briefly to make sure the room was empty — but you were greeted by another young man.
euijoo approached you, placing a few snacks on your bedside table, before standing by your bed. chewing your lower lip, you looked up at him, opening your mouth, ready to speak — but he was quicker. « i'm sorry, » he started, playing nervously with his long fingers, looking everywhere but at you, « i should never have spoken to you like that. »
with a small smile after his apology, you slipped your hand over his, pulling on two of his fingers to draw his body against yours. resting your chin on his shoulder, your arms now around his waist, you felt euijoo's body tense under the sudden closeness — the truth has to be told, you've never had an altercation like this since you've known each other. « i'm sorry euijoo, » you whispered, hiding your ashamed face in the collar of his jacket, « to have worried you, to have stained your jacket, and to have used your time, once again. i'm so sorry. »
the boy's body finally relaxed, and the next second his arms were around you, giving you his warmth. « i always cared. » he whispered suddenly, your heart missing a beat in your chest after this confession. it was unexpected, but so comforting to hear such words. no one in your life has ever said such things to you — it was a first, and it was the most special first time in the world for you. tightening your arms around him, euijoo tenderly stroked your back with his fingertips, and even if the hug didn't last long, it was just long enough for you to find the comfort you needed to forget the wave of fear that had consumed you that evening. you sure weren't afraid of dying, but you might still want to live for a long time, after all.
euijoo moved the chair closer to your bed, placing himself at your side, his cold hands resting on your mattress, with his delicate pianist fingers innocently brushing yours as you watched him without saying a word. questioning you with his big brown eyes, he ends up asking you, « what? there's something wrong with my face? » — without hesitation, you nodded positively, « you look terrible. »
a crystalline laugh escaped his lips, trying to camouflage the red that painted the tips of his ears at the same time. raising one of your hands, you placed your palm against his cheek, and he didn't wait a second longer to close his eyes and enjoy the gentle warmth of your fingers. « you should sleep. » you suggested, watching him gently rub his cheek against the palm of your hand, like a little cat looking for comforting warmth to feel safe and secure.
and before he knew it, euijoo fell asleep against you, his head resting delicately on your thighs and your fingers swirling in his hair. « thank you for everything, byun euijoo. » you whispered, tracing the contours of his face with a smile, the silence of the room lulled by his peaceful breathing.
reblogs & feedbacks are highly appreciated !
taglist ౨ৎ @wtfhyuck @yuma-is-mine @ivain8
