[in this non-canon story, we join ekranotitan whom is currently stuck in a large block of ice. he's not in any danger at the moment, in fact, he's asleep. so, naturally, i'm going to skip ahead 2 hours, to when he wakes up.]
ET: [yawn] ,,,wh huh,,, why am i encased in ice. who put me here?
ET: hello??
[no answer, just the soft whistling of antarctican winds.]
ET: aarrgh. [he attempts to reach his radio, and is able to do so.] hello?
[his radio is non-functional.]
ET: primus damnit. fine, let's try the turbines. [he activates his chest turbines, hoping to melt the ice.]
- 30 minutes later -
[ekranotitan has freed some of himself from the ice, and only his legs are incased now.]
ET: hmm. wonder if i can kick my way out of this. or if i can hop to base. [he attempts his radio again.]
[he's gotten a signal... from an autobot. ekranotitan immediately turns off his radio.]
ET: ...Блять. (translation: fuck) [he holds his head in his hands for a minute.] i hope they don't locate me. please don't locate me.
- 15 minutes later. -
[ekranotitan's hips are now free from the ice. he can't move his legs, and since he's doing more harm than good with his turbines, what with all of the noise, he turns them off for the time being.]
ET: no autobots... or decepticons. why am i encased in ice? who put me here? not sure. getting real tired of this ice. don't have any other choice, do i?
[he thinks over it for a second.]
ET: likely not. [he attempts to break the rest of the ice with his fists. it's pretty tough, due to it being antarctican ice, but it breaks after a little bit. ekranotitan is freed from the ice, and just in time, due to a small group of autobots arriving within 300 feet of his current location.]
ET: autobots. дерьмо. (translation: shit) where am i... small antarctican island. close to the shore, perfect. [he sprints for the shoreline.]
[a lone autobot soldier is already in the water with ekranotitan. this autobot is met with a headlock, and a threat to make no noise, as he and ekranotitan disappear beyond the surface of the water. his neck is broken, and he is weighed down with some rocks and ice. ekranotitan is nowhere to be seen anywhere. he escapes for the mainland.]
[once he reaches the mainland, he climbs up a cliff and dusts his hands off. once again, he attempts his radio.]
[this time, ground control picks up his signal.]
ET: ground control, where have you been?
ground control: sleeping, dude. i'm sorry. what do you need?
ET: WHY HAVE I BEEN ENCASED IN A LARGE BLOCK OF ICE?
ground control: i haven't been told of this. where are you?
ET: oh, you know. somewhere in antarctica. give me a goddamn waypoint.
ground control: fine, fine. i don't feel like provoking anyone right now. here's your waypoint. if you want to scream at someone, scream at bunkerbuster. i'm heading back to bed.
ET: thank you.
[ping. a waypoint has appeared some time away. he starts on his long walk.]