continued from here! @eldorvdo
so many things can happen in the blink of an eye.
seyoon turns to look at the stranger - the one who’s stopped to make sure he’s okay after this embarrassing little incident on the sidewalk - and forces out a smile. she’s right, of course. he’s going to be fine. but another part of him, some part deep down and hidden away, knows that she also couldn’t be any farther from the truth. fainting isn’t such a rare or worrisome thing most of the time (a little water or some food or some sleep usually does the trick), but he knows he’s not going to be okay in the long run. he can’t fathom the thought that he ever will be. not when he’s suffering like this. not when he’s thinking these things.
he breathes like she tells him to, rubs his neck, then says, “i’m fine. i’m just…”
tired. stressed. dehydrated. depressed. dying?
“tired. i haven’t slept much in the past couple of days because my, um… well, someone i know has been pretty sick so i’ve been taking care of them.” it’s a poor excuse. he doesn’t even take care of himself. the girl doesn’t need to know that, though. for once he’s not interested in making friends. for once, he’s just interested in parting ways and forgetting this conversation ever happened. it isn’t like him, but passing out on sidewalks isn’t like him either. this is when he realizes he’s the sick one. this is when he realizes his disease is spreading. “thank you for stopping to help me, but you don’t need to stick around now. i’m sure you’ve got places to be, right? i’m really okay! i’m just so embarrassed you saw that…”
he doesn’t want people to know how weak he is - not even strangers.
“i really just need to rest, i think. i’ll be sure to do that as soon as i’m home.”
That is what most people say, or retort whenever one gives an advice, only meaning to help in ways they can. And these people aren’t to be blamed, because even Haebitna knows that can really be true. Because she may have spoken those words in her mind a lot of times. Hundreds of times even. Only in her mind.
Yet she also knew that nothing could ever be done so easily – everything takes time. And one needs to try. Because the more you try, the more it will happen. It’s easier to say, but they are needed to be said. Much like her words that are the simplest but everything works in its sense.
Just breathe. ( It’s the basic step of life )
And so she watches him, breathing, her arms across his back just in case he may tumble, or fall even. As she listens she could hear from the depths of her mind the same answer given that she is to be placed in his shoe. I’m fine. Another ‘easier said than done’, really. For Haebitna can see that he’s far from it. Feel, rather.
Sometimes, ‘I’m fine’ becomes a reflexive answer. To not let another worry. Or to convince your own self.
“You should at least take care of yourself first – or eat and rest well at the very least. You cannot take care of someone if you’re the one who’s sick.” Haebitna’s not sure if she is entitled to give an advice of some sort; she barely knew the man but that doesn’t mean she isn’t worried. To faint on the streets is terrible – aside from the fact that it may cause other accidents, like head contusions or other possibilities – but the fact that one faints because the body fails the mind and the will, is more dreadful than it is.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Again, another ‘easier said than done’ but he really need not be embarrassed by her. “As much as I’d like to believe that you’re okay, we really don’t know if you’d faint once more. Trust me.” I’ve been there before. “I had a few years of medical practice. And my mind tells me that you shouldn’t be left alone.” Haebitna turns to face him, looks at him in the eye while her lips stretch into a warm smile.
“It’s okay. I just want to make sure you’ll get to your destination safely.”