It's Saturday, 11:45 pm, 3rd day on house rest of 119 day sentence due to my second DUI. I got home from a double header of meetings and drank too much coffee. The only allowance for my leaving the house is to go to meetings. I'm watching woody allen's midnight in Paris and feeling the come down of having the better part of a full pot of coffee from the meetings. Matt and I stopped off at applebees and shared a sampler, the food helped settle my nerves a bit but not feeling anywhere sleepy yet. The movie is entertaining, it had the usual woody Allen angst and moved from present day to roaring twenties Paris. Fitzgerald and Zelda are in it and it's ever so glamorous. I'm thinking of finishing it tomorrow tho and trying to get to sleep but doubt I will be able to. It's been an up and down week, feeling down in the beginning of the week regarding john's death, more down when I got the ems amulet on, then a bit perked up at the meetings after and realizing the anklet isn't too bad. Feeling down again when I realized that the anklet altho not all bad is constricting because altho I may not to leave my home but not having the ability to do so when I want to, even to do something simple like getting the mail, makes me feel ever so cooped up. Trying to work a little on step four but it makes me feel so maudlin when I start thinking about my childhood. I find I can verbalize my issues but writing them down in solitude makes me want to rush for the rails. Still watching in midnight in Paris while writing this, one thing I enjoy about his movie is the music. It's uplifting and comforting and slightly elitist. Comforting in that it's in all his movies just like the font and blackground that he uses for all his credits. His movies deal with nostalgia, sentimentality for a certain period of time, and a nuanced approach to relationships that I enjoy because I identify with. He is pretentious but doesn't think he is: the way I feel about my own sensibilities or at least how I want others to view them. My chinese therapist is working on her phd and is hiring me to edit her papers and study her school material so I can provide her answers during tests. Feeling like procrastinating but need to start on it tomorrow, in the past portion of the movie, owen Wilson meeting Hemingway as well as Fitzgerald and Zelda. Zelda seems more of a firecracker then I imagined her because I always thought of her as a lush with a sad streak but in this early version of her she is quite vivacious. Hemingway, is a but archetypical, he voices his ideas about war and manliness that is indicative of his works, Gertrude Stein is critiquing owen's wilson's work, she's played by Kathy bates and I never had an idea of her in my head so now she will be it. The thing about many woody Allen movies is he has a lt of the big actors of the day that play small character parts as well as the main roles. Therefore, as I meet each actor that I already know, there is a click of recognition, a warmth as if I know them already and trust them in the role because I am enjoying the mvie so far. Plus I cheat: I already saw e favorable rating on imdb, I adore the director, and each element he used that I already have seen him use, creates sentimentality in me and projects a strong liking for the movie that even if I doubt the veracity I can't help but be drawn in to.