Who Are You?- Ellen Mazzone
Has anyone ever been in an interview or filled out an application and been confronted with the question “How would you are describe yourself?” or “What is most important to you?” Recently I’ve been confronted with these questions while completing my college applications. And I’ve had to ask, “Who am I and who do I want to be?” College applications have been an eye opening experience and a gateway to growth in my emotional health. Today I want to talk to you about emotional health and its important role in our lives.
According to the American Psychological Association, emotionally healthy people will, “work toward goals, find the resources they need and attract others with their energy and optimism – key building blocks of success”. The APA continues to say that people will find happiness when they are emotionally healthy, and that their success depends on their happiness, not the other way around.
In order to achieve emotional health and well-being one has to embark on a journey of self-discovery. There is an old adage that says, “Before you can truly love someone else you first have to love yourself.” In order to love yourself, you have to understand yourself. What makes you tick? What makes you happy? What causes you stress? Sometimes we feel uncomfortable thinking about ourselves because it is portrayed as being selfish or narcissistic. But it’s neither of those acts, and in fact, it’s the opposite. When we think and challenge our beliefs and our interests, we are growing and forming new opinions. We become better people when we explore ourselves.
Three weeks ago my psychology class began a project titled “Who Are You?”. For two weeks I was forced to sit down with myself and think. The project had to parts: one) the outside and two) the inside. The outside part was supposed to reflect how we believe others view us or the image we project to the world. The inside was more personal, reflecting our true self and our inner thoughts, hopes, and desires. While college application questions asked me to describe myself, this project forced me to dig much deeper. The psychology project asked me to categorize my thoughts, who I am, and explain why rather than to check boxes that I believed best described me. When thinking of something personal to me, I think about my adoption. When I was one year old I was adopted from Fuzhou, a city in the Fujian province of China. But for some reason, I could not talk about it, but not because I was embarrassed or sad about it. I realized it was because I have not slowed down enough to form an opinion about it. How do I feel? Am I sad? Do I want to try to find my biological family? While trying to figure out who I was on the inside for a psychology project, I found something deeper: the realization that I need to step back and think about who I am, what that means, and who I want to be. It’s so easy to get caught up in our social lives, our education, and our extra-curricular activities that we forget to help ourselves grow emotionally, which will ultimately lead to success in other aspects of our lives.
In general, emotional health can be marked by big moments such
as graduating from high school or getting your first job. But emotional
growth is something entirely different marked by smaller moments that
add up to a better understanding of identity and acceptance of self.
Someone can be incredibly book smart or street smart but feel so
disconnected with themselves at the same time. I find self-discovery
and emotional growth through travel, but everyone has a different
path. For some it’s a sport, others it’s art, theater, or volunteering.
Each person will find something that helps explain who they are and
that something is different for each person.
The non-profit organization Belong To You states that “emotional
identity involves identifying, building upon, and opening from your
strengths . . . which allows a greater capacity to enjoy life, cope with
stress, and focus on important personal priorities.” A greater
understanding of oneself leads to greater happiness, security, and
balance. As the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu (laow – dzuh) said,
“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”
I challenge you to get to know the most important person you
know: You.