Apr 1, 2016
look i don't care what anyone says it's always a good night to drink wine and quietly appreciate the people who have made your life better
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look i don't care what anyone says it's always a good night to drink wine and quietly appreciate the people who have made your life better
Hi. Um. I'm asexual and I have not told my parents yet due to them being old fashioned and me not wanting to have to answer any weird questions. Today my therapist flat out asked if I was gay and I told the truth that I'm ace. The follow up was "were you sexually abused" and "when do you think you'll grow out of it" I was hurt and mad. Part of me thinks I should rip the bandaid off and tell my parents, part is scared they'll react like she did. What do you think/advice/what was your experience?
Noooo do not tell your parents! Since you know that probably won't go well, don't do it! Also, get a new therapist because this one sucks!
Ask them if they've ever read the DSM-5, which I'm fairly certain points out that asexuality is not a disease, is not caused by abuse, and is not a phase. The Kinsey scale of sexuality (very widely accepted and respected) also recognizes asexuality as a 100% valid sexuality. And all science points to sexuality not being a choice. So. Get mad at your therapist. Tell them that they're being shitty and unscientific, it's not due to abuse, it's not a phase, and they can kiss your ass if they can't be properly professional about this.
Arm yourself with resources. Check out the Asexuality Archive, AVEN, and Sexplanations for some backup.
-Kiowa
In regards to telling parents your asexual I would seriously hold back unless you're confident they will accept it. When I told my mum she thought I should see a doctor to cure me because it's my 'hormones playing up' and also believed I'll grow out of it. In a way I want to take back telling her but I'm glad I did because she stops talking about sex and me having children which made me uncomfortable.
ellieiswrite
@ellieiswrite replied to your post “Hi. Um. I'm asexual and I have not told my parents yet due to them being old fashioned and me not wanting to have to answer any weird questions. Today my therapist flat out asked if I was gay and I told the truth that I'm ace. The follow up was "were you sexually abused" and "when do you think you'll grow out of it" I was hurt and mad. Part of me thinks I should rip the bandaid off and tell my parents, part is scared they'll react like she did. What do you think/advice/what was your experience?”
I'm sorry to have brought up a bad subject. I don't know what to do. There's no way I'm seeing that therapist again.
No you didn't bring up a bad subject. Sorry I started ranting. I was just trying to warn you and let you know you don't have to come out to your parents and probably shouldn't unless you know you'll be able to handle whatever reaction they might have. And I agree. don't see that therapist again. You could just tell your parents your personalities are clashing or something. People switch therapists all the time because their personalities don't work together.
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http://ellieiswrite.tumblr.com/