Sam is just standing there, laughing, like the motherfucking asshole that he is.
Dean glowers up at him. It’s not an impressive glower right now, he knows, which just makes him glower harder. Cas is presumably also glowering at diminished capacity.
“I fail to see the humor inherent in the situation, Sam,” Cas snaps, voice unchanged, which he guesses is something.
“Yeah,” Sam wheezes, leaning heavily on the table in the war room. “I bet you do.”
“Are you just gonna stand there and laugh at us or are you gonna fucking do something about it?” Dean demands, voice getting a little Kermit-y at the end there.
“I think,” Sam manages. “I’m just gonna stand here and laugh at you.”
Dean contemplates wrapping soft, felted hands around Sam’s throat. He wonders if Cas still has smiting capabilities. Cas should absolutely smite Sam. Just jump on his big dumb head and burn his big dumb brain out.
“We can’t stay this way forever, Sam,” Cas says irritably.
“What’s all the-“ Jack stands in the doorway, blinking, still disheveled from sleep. “Oh.”
“Hello, Jack,” Cas says wearily.
“Hi, Castiel.” Jack looks at Sam. “Why are they Muppets?”
Sam, who had managed to get himself under some semblance of control, starts giggling again.
“We don’t know,” Cas answers at the same time Dean snaps “Jesus Christ, Sammy, pull yourself together.”
Sam, wiping tears from his eyes, turns to Jack. “No, I don’t know what happened to Bunsen and Beaker over here.”
“What are we supposed to do when we have to eat?” Dean pesters, because on the whole, he’s feeling pretty pestery. “Or when I need to take a piss?”
“I don’t think Muppets have digestive systems,” Jack says.
“Or dicks,” Sam adds.
Dean states at him, appalled. “Everything you two just said sucks, dude.”
“Sam,” Cas says, in his best I Am Being Patient With You Because I Am An Angel of the Lord and You Are Beneath Me tone, which normally Dean hates, but is honestly feeling pretty good about right now. “Dean and I cannot leave the Bunker. Something must be done.”
Jack kneels in front of them, peering at them. “Your eyes are very green,” he tells Dean. “Like a football field. It’s disconcerting.”
Dean closes his eyes. “Thanks, kid.”
“I bet you’re made of really shitty felt,” Sam says. “Like bargain bin at the Dollar Store felt.”
“Sam, I am gonna punch you in the motherfucking testicles.” Muppet height is pretty good dick punching height.
“Go ahead. It’s probably about as bad as me walking through long grass.”
Jack looks up at Sam. “Actually, Miss Piggy always has some force when she attacks somebody. You should be careful.”
“Thanks, kid,” Dean repeats, more earnest this time.
Sam scoffs. “Dean wishes he was Miss Peggy. He’s not even fucking Scooter.”
“I think you two have a Statler and Waldorf kind of charm to you,” Jack tells them loyally.
“Thank you, Jack,” Cas answers, even though Dean’s not entirely sure he understands the reference.
Sam heaves a big sigh. “Okay. I’m gonna call Rowena-“
“Do not call Rowena,” Cas and Dean both say in haunting unison.
“Do you have a better idea?” They sullenly say nothing. “Okay. I’m gonna call Rowena. Jack, you should go back to bed, get some sleep.”
“I think I’m gonna make a sandwich, actually.” Jack fondly pats the top of their heads, and Dean resists the urge to bite him with the teeth he doesn’t have. “I’ll be back!”
Sam smiles at them, extremely smugly and extremely shitty. “Hang tight, Bert and Ernie.”
The two of them leave before Dean can actually punch him in the balls. Dean sits heavily on the floor and after a moment Cas joins him. He looks mournfully at his soft, vaguely fuzzy hands.
“Didn’t you once tell me that Bert and Ernie were the homosexual Muppets?” Cas asks.
Dean puts his head in his hands. “The second we’re people shaped again, I’m throwing Sam off a bridge.”
"I'm starting to think he loves him more than me", Eddie says one morning, sitting dejectedly on the loft's couch with an adorable little pout.
Buck laughs to himself and keeps browsing the internet for Kermit-themed stuff, hoping to find the perfect gift for Chris' birthday next week. "You know that's not true, Eddie."
"You don't know that", he says, pressing his finger to Buck's chest, and he attempts not to freak out about it. Ever since he accepted that he's been head-over-heels in love with Eddie for ages, every little touch makes him scream mentally.
Buck sits up a little straighter, gently pushes Eddie's hand off. He's so close he can see the freckle under his eye, perfectly placed like a little star where the universe made it to be.
"Eds. You're his dad. Nothing will ever win over that."
He just grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Okay", Buck says, turning to face him fully. "What's really going on?"
Eddie's incredibly brown eyes meet his. He sighs, admitting defeat. "I just... miss him, you know? I guess it's stupid. I mean, I see him every day. But it feels like—"
"You're not hanging out much?"
"Yeah. Is it my fault? Am I at work too much? Am I too tired to spend time with my son?"
Well, Buck is having none of this. It's completely unacceptable. So, butterflies be damned, he places his hand on Eddie's left shoulder, letting his thumb slide slightly above the collar of his dark blue t-shirt, just sitting there against his skin. He knows Eddie doesn't ask for comfort nearly enough, despite the fact that he deserves it more than anyone. If Buck has to be the one to give it to him, he'll be more than happy to do so for the rest of his life.
"Listen to me. You're doing nothing wrong, okay? Trust me. Chris is just— growing. The love is still there, he just wants to discover some stuff by himself. He needs to do his own thing, hang out with his friends. But he'll never love anyone or anything more than you. I promise."
Eddie deflates under Buck's touch. "Okay. Okay, you're right. It's gonna be fine. I knew this would happen eventually, it just... it's a bit sad, is all."
Buck frowns sympathetically. "I know, man. But hey, if you ever want some company when Chris isn't around, you know you have your own friends too, right? We can get a couple beers, some pizza, watch a shitty horror movie that makes us laugh..."
The last of Eddie’s worry is replaced by one of those blinding smiles that Buck can never help but mirror. "That actually sounds fun. I'll take you up on that offer later", he says cheerily, before they're interrupted by the first bell of the morning.
Eddie's smile stays plastered on Buck's mind for the rest of their shift.
It’s not until Wednesday, two days later, that Eddie reminds Buck of their conversation. They’re working out before the start of their afternoon shift, and Buck is trying with every bit of his might not to stare at Eddie’s arms while he does push-ups. He’s really, really trying.
They finish their sets and grab their stuff, walking towards the locker room, when Buck remembers something. “Hey, I haven’t told you! I found the perfect gift to give Chris on Monday”.
Buck watches Eddie muster his best bitchface in real time, trying not to giggle like an idiot, because how can anyone be that cute?
“Let me guess. It’s something to do with Kermit?”
Buck adds a bounce to his step and grins. “Yup. But I’m not telling you what. You’ll have to see it when Chris opens it.”
Eddie rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’m so excited.”
Buck can’t hold it anymore. He laughs until his belly hurts a little, smacking Eddie’s back. “Oh, cheer up, Eds. I promise Kermit isn’t out to replace you.”
“Well, Kermit might not be, but Chris’ friends sure are. He’s sleeping over at Tommy’s on Friday.” He stops walking to stare at Buck and breathes, building up courage. Buck has seen him do that a lot recently, and is more overwhelmed with pride than he probably should be, because Eddie’s finally relying on the people who love him instead of trying to do everything on his own.
“I was wondering if I could cash in for that offer you made on Monday. Shitty horror movie and pizza?”
Buck’s grin widens. “Of course! Your place or mine?”
Oh no. Did that sound too much like a date? No… He’s just hanging with his best friend so he doesn’t feel too lonely while Chris isn’t around. That’s it. Just a movie and some drinks. No biggie.
He’s halfway through his thought spiral when Eddie answers. “Is it okay if you come by? Tommy’s mom is picking Chris up, so I might take too long driving to yours after.”
Buck nods, shaking off his paranoid overthinking. “Yeah, yeah. That’s great.”
It shouldn’t feel this weird, right? They’ve been doing this for ages anyway. Sit together, laugh at corny lines and bad special effects all night, eat pizza until their stomachs beg them to stop. Buck can’t count how many times he’s passed out on Eddie’s couch after a movie night, tired from his shift or having drunk too many beers. Eddie’s also stayed over at his before.
So why does Buck feel jittery and anxious for the rest of the day and all the way through his Thursday shift?
By Friday afternoon he’s managed to make himself act normal. After all, they’re Eddie and Buck. They’ve got each other’s backs, whether it’s to pull each other out of burning buildings or to keep each other company on a Friday night.
Still, seeing Eddie all messy-haired in a green henley and sweatpants when he answers his door really does not help at all. He stares at the dark strands of hair falling every direction from Eddie’s head, curling against his forehead, and all he can think is pretty, pretty, pretty.
He stares a bit too long, because Eddie notices and runs his hand through his hair, trying to flatten it. “Sorry, I fell asleep a little. Turns out Tommy’s mom picked Chris’ stuff up earlier and just went to get him directly from the school. He was so happy when we talked on the phone. Said he finally got to ride in Tommy’s ‘cool car’.”
Buck chuckles. “Oh, yeah. He told me about that. It’s a red truck with a huge sunroof, apparently. And get this, it has Kermit the frog and Gonzo bumper stickers.”
Eddie’s bewildered expression combined with his hair, which he’s messed up even further, make Buck double in laughter, holding onto the doorframe to avoid simply falling face-first onto his chest.
“How do you find out this stuff? I’m starting to think you know more about my son than I do”, he complains, but the slight crinkle around his eyes tells Buck he’s amused.
“Well, since you refuse to indulge him on his love for Kermit, he decided to start telling me about it.”
Eddie shrugs. “Fine by me. You can handle that, I’ll handle the math homework.”
Buck nearly misses Eddie waving him inside, too busy trying to pull himself out of the delusional, sickeningly domestic fantasies in his head where he gets to be a part of the little Diaz family, and they have the same kind of conversations they just had on the doorway, splitting Chris-related tasks and laughing about his adorable adventures.
When he walks into the living room, he feels like his heart is being ripped apart and sewn back together at an alarmingly fast rate. He’s in love with his best friend and he is so gonna ruin everything they’ve built for years.
He sees himself everywhere. There’s a navy-blue hoodie he left last week, still draped over the back of the couch, and a pair of slippers right next to Eddie’s and Chris’ against the corner closest to the hall. The duck-shaped mug he bought for himself to use in the Diaz household is on the coffee table, sitting on top of a wonky coaster he tried to crochet when he was healing from his broken leg and which Chris insisted to take home.
He’s been haunting Eddie and Christopher like a clingy ghost, and he still wants more. He can’t ask that from either of them.
He thought he could do this. He thought he could live with the fact that he’s in love with Eddie without ever doing anything about it. He thought he could keep offering to pick Chris up from school every once in a while, occasionally sneak into the Diaz zoo trip to make Eddie and Chris laugh with his ridiculous fun facts. He thought he could keep making coffee for Eddie at the 118’s kitchen, with one and a half teaspoons of sugar just like he loves it. He thought he could do all of it without changing everything, without having to fight the urge to hold Eddie’s hand every time they’re at the supermarket, without having to ignore the wish to kiss Chris on the forehead when he scrapes his knees.
Maybe he’s weaker than he assumed.
“Buck. Are you okay?” Eddie’s hand on the crook of his elbow coaxes him towards the sofa. “Hey. It’s okay. Sit down for me, yeah? Just breathe, Buck. I’m here.”
Buck unsticks his eyes from the duck mug, lifts his head up and stares. Eddie’s eyes are so brown and shiny. They’re soft and framed by long lashes, and they’re warm and pretty, and they’re worried, and… no, they’re supposed to be all crinkly and happy, and Buck is ruining everything.
“I’m supposed to be here to cheer you up and now you’re all worried”, he croaks, and Eddie’s frown just deepens.
“No. What? No— Buck, you’re here because I want you to be. Because you’re my best friend and I’m happy to spend time with you any day. I’m not— I’m not using you to make myself happy, I would never do that. Buck, I could never be happy when you look this scared. Of course I’m worried. But it’s not you fault. I just—I want you to talk to me, please. What’s wrong?”
Buck’s trembling breaths feel like lead running through his airway. “Eddie. I’m sorry, okay? I am so, so sorry.”
Eddie slowly wraps one of Buck’s hands between his own. “What are you sorry for?”
“I—” Buck swallows. “I’m everywhere, Eds. And I— I know you just said you want me to be here, but if… but if you knew what I wanted, I don’t know if you’d say the same. I just don’t— I’m gonna ruin everything, Eddie. I don’t wanna ruin everything. I can’t.”
Eddie’s grip on his hand tightens just slightly, and Buck lets himself feel it, every inch of it, just in case he never gets to again.
“Buck. What are you talking about?”
“Eddie… I love you. Just— I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense yet.” Buck pauses. Closes his eyes. Eddie’s soft eyes and the warmth of his hands envelope his heart. “You’re my family, Eds. You and Chris. And I don’t just mean you’re my best friend. I think… I think a while ago you started being much more than that. And I was too much of an idiot to even notice, for so long… I’m in love with you, Eddie.
"And I am terrified of every word that’s coming out of my mouth right now. Just a couple days ago I thought I could just learn to live with it, but then I saw you today and you told me I could handle Chris’ love for that silly little frog and you would handle the math homework and I knew that I really, truly wanted to have that for the rest of my life. And then I came in here and I saw all my stuff strewn around as if I lived here, and I realized that I can’t lie to you about this, Eddie, I can’t. Because I’m taking stuff that isn’t mine to have, and using space that isn’t mine to live in. And I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want you to keep having me in your life with only half-truths. I owe you much more than that.”
That’s about as much courage as Buck had in him. He stares down at Eddie’s hands, still wrapped around him, unmoving, and tries not to get up and run out of the room until Eddie’s said something. He waits, watching Eddie’s eyes trace the room the same way he did just a few minutes ago, until they land back on Buck’s.
“Evan, this house has been yours for years. You said it yourself, you are everywhere. And I—” he looks up at the ceiling and grins, and oh. There are those little crinkles. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t.
I haven’t moved your hoodie from the couch because I love seeing it there every day when I come back from shift. I drink tea on that dumb duck mug because it’s the one I keep at the front of the cabinet. Your Top Ten Worst Natural Disasters book is still on my nightstand since the weekend you stayed with Chris while I went to Texas. I honestly wouldn’t really mind it that much if Chris rambled about Kermit the frog to me, but I love that he goes to you instead, and that you spent like four days googling Kermit stuff just to buy him a birthday present that he’ll love.”
Buck’s heart is about to take off running and never return. He turns his palm up, and Eddie’s fingers intertwine with his, and his smile is blinding, and Buck doesn’t need any other sight.
“Buck, this stuff is yours to have. All of it. And… and more, if you’ll have it. The early school mornings and the road trips and the movie nights, and the fights with ignorant teachers and the leak that we still haven’t fixed in the kitchen. And whatever obsession comes after Kermit, and even the math homework if you feel like it. And I’m sorry that I made you believe that this wasn’t a possibility. I guess I didn’t think it was, either.”
He grabs Buck’s face in his hands and pulls him close, close enough that their foreheads touch and Buck can feel the soft little strands of Eddie’s hair against his skin, can feel him vibrate with laughter, can count every one of his eyelashes, even through the blurriness starting to gather on his eyes.
“We’re ridiculous”, Eddie laughs, and closes the remaining space between them.
It takes Buck a couple of seconds to convince himself that this is real, that his best friend is kissing him in the middle of his living room, surrounded by all their stuff, telling him he can have everything he’s been wanting for so long. And when he does, well. He doesn’t let go for a long while.
They end up watching the Muppet Movie (if you can call making out with a movie in the background “watching”), and Buck doesn’t even have time to laugh at the irony of it all. He has much to thank Kermit for.
He thinks the Kermit-shaped mug Chris unwraps for his birthday on Monday says enough. It quickly owns its place next to the duck, at the front of the kitchen cabinet.
🌻hi besties! so I turn thirty on may 6th and i thought it might be cute to do a little celebration and hopefully some folks will want to come party with me! I wanna make this thing as chill as possible so I'm listing 30 prompts for you all to go wild with! Make it serious, make it silly, write, edit, make me a meme, I'll love and cherish it all! And before I forget to say it THANK YOU all for following me and making me smile and here's to another year chilling with you all! 💚💚💚
*please use the tag #emeraldcas30 and/or @ me so I can see and reblog everything
*prompts:
muppets, casnatural, green, the killers, karaoke, chocolate, women, crochet, shenanigans, adventure, romance, comedy, cake, crossovers, rollerskating, flowers, tattoos, party time, "you did what?", firsts, spa day, night owl, clumsy, top 5, "just hold me", secrets, fool me twice, balloons, gifts, "wait for me".
*shows:
supernatural, ofmd, ted lasso, psych, succession, 911, a league of their own, iasip, in the flesh, the last of us, the x files
