I can't believe I'm actually writing this. I can't believe I'm actually trying to get rid of everything I had with all of you. Everything I had with you? I couldn't even put that in a novel. I can't believe I'm getting rid of the part of me that belongs to you. But I will, and I must. Because, my dear, there's darkness everywhere, and no one seems to care that soon the dark in me is all that will remain.
So I need to somehow get rid of you. Not of you. That was a bad word choice. But somehow it needs to be okay for me to do this. I can't say goodbye to you in person. I can't give you this letter. It would be best if you would just believe that I left you with no regret. That I left you for my own selfishness. That everything we had together was a lie.
It would be better if you believed I was like them. That I hated you. That I despised mudbloods. That I liked pain. It would be so much better if you believed that about me. But somehow I feel you're much too intelligent for that.
So if you won't believe that, just forget that I ever existed. It's unlikely I'll see you again. I haven't answered your owls in weeks. Well, I didn't answer them when you still sent them. Now the letters have stopped from everyone. And who could blame them. There's only so many one word letters people can take. So just remember that part of me, okay Em?
Remember the girl who ran away when things got too tough. The girl who lied and cheated her way into anything she thought she really wanted. And when she was there, she'd throw it away. Remember the selfish, stupid girl that would give you up for everything you hate.
Because that's who I am now. They say that hard times bring out people's true natures. If this is mine, then I hate her. I hate her more than I've hated anyone. But this is mine. This is me. Her and I will always be connected. But you and I won't. Because I'm leaving Emmeline. I'm leaving you, and I'm not coming back.
So please don't come looking for your Em.
