.
There is a very special frustration I have been experiencing.
Firstly, I understand that hierarchical polyamory is not the only way to be polyamorous, and that other models exist. However, the other models I am aware of do not work as well in a system as they would seem to work for externally-existing people.
So with that said, it bothers me that Tozek is my primary partner, but I am not xir primary partner.
Xir primary partner is Capriel. They're going to marry each other someday. But Tozek isn't going to marry me. He has no plans to. If he married someone else in the system, it would be Dust, not me. I'm someone he loves and takes care of, but I'm not his entire world in the way a primary partner is to me.
I would like to have someone to be my primary partner. To consider myself to belong to that person fully, and them to belong to me just as much. To travel live alongside that person, to be known as theirs.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about all this.
