Warnings: Nudity and sickeningly detailed descriptions of this beautiful man
Summary: You do your best to quietly worship Jimmy while he sleeps, but your love proves loud enough to wake him.
A/N: Jimmy breaks my heart every time I watch Kin and although I'm not finished the series yet, I needed to write a love letter to him because he just deserves so much better. (Also Amanda always fucking wakes him up so I'm letting him sleep/be woken up for a good reason)
Huge thanks to my bestie @puffins-muffins for helping keep me inspired to write this and for editing this gorgeous photo of him 🥰💗
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You swore if you died now and ended up in heaven, this is exactly what it would be like.
Rain tapped against the window, the sound of it creating a rhythmical lullaby that added to all the other things working together to create absolute bliss.
Jimmy snored softly beside you, each breath in slow and long, able to see the swell of his chest even in the dark, and every breath out passed his slightly parted lips that begged to be kissed by yours again in the same calm tempo.
It never stopped amazing you how peaceful he looked when he slept, finally graced with a sense of contentment he'd rarely experienced in his life, and unable to resist but careful not to disturb him, you reached up and brushed his cheek with your finger.
He was always devastatingly gorgeous, but here, like this, was beauty on a whole other level and something you would trade staying awake every night for the rest of your life to witness.
His cheek was warm to the touch, slightly pink and evidence of blood and life, and you knew if he were to open his eyes, the blue of them would compliment the rosy hue even more.
You traced the line where his beard cut into his cheek, fading out gradually where it blended into skin, the contrast of black against ivory stark and so naturally astounding.
A god. Your god. Built from terror and hardship and love. A ferocity that few knew and had witness to, and you counted every lucky star that you did.
Flesh and blood and bone and life. His passion was akin to none. His loyalty set even higher. Stubborn. Vengeful. But with you his hardened edges were softened. Tightened knots loosened. A stiff guard put down in your presence.
Jimmy didn't love lightly. He was a fury of passion and sanctity. Vows bound deeper than words, and you did all you could to match that for him.
It took resilience to live this life. To stand by his side through thick and thin, but he made it easy.
His dark lashes danced on his cheeks when the tip of your finger grazed across his lip, his air hot on your hand when it blew out from his lungs, making you linger there for a moment just to feel it again.
Loving him came to you as thoughtless as drawing breath. Automatic. Unyielding. The way he relished in it and flourished only made it grow and exist more fiercely, like your purpose on this earth was to make sure he felt how real and true it was.
A piece of his hair had moved forward to lay on the side of his face, and you swept it back to join the rest, the smell of his shampoo coming alive as you moved your fingers through it. You loved when it was like this; undone and free, spread out over the pillow like a dark halo. Divine even as he slept.
Your hand skirted down to his shoulder, resting there as you closed your eyes and kissed the side of his chest that was closest to you, inhaling the warm scent of his skin that was an intoxicating mix of sleep and sweat and the faintest hint of soap that was wearing off.
“I love you,” you whispered, your lips ghosting on his chest.
You pressed your lips to him again, your hand resting atop his heart where it found and stayed over his heartbeat, the drum of it steady through the thick flesh that protected it.
Your fingertips danced through the blend of black and grey hairs while your mouth continued to lightly kiss wherever you could reach, his snoring halting momentarily as a groan came out with his breath, his body fighting between waking and sleep.
You shifted closer, your legs rubbing his where they lay tangled together, moving your nose back and forth against his chest.
“I love you,” you avowed again, marking him more with your lips, each kiss a hope it would seal the words into him.
Jimmy stirred, his arm moving from his side to land heavily on his chest, his hand covering yours.
You stopped kissing him, praying he didn’t wake, staying as still as you could to the point you held your breath until his fell back into an even rhythm again.
Nestling your face into his chest, you smiled, moving your fingers against his ever so slightly, wishing you would always be able to help create this sense of peace for him. However rare it was for any of their blood to know such a thing.
His whole life he was defined by his name. Here, he was stripped of all it carried. Just him. A man. Yours.
The invisible but impossibly heavy Kinsella crown taken off in his sleep where every part of him was relaxed and unburdened.
In his bed with you he was allowed to be nothing but himself, his priorities and instincts simple. Rest, recover, ravish. Primal. Making love and sleeping, nothing more or less, shutting out everything else that existed beyond.
You dug your face into the crook of his neck, inhaling, stealing his warmth. It was impossible to think of anyone being able to love as much as you did him. Your heart ached in your chest. Christ, it hurt.
“I love you,” you murmured again, unthinking, unaware.
His fingers squeezed your hand, followed by a long sigh, making you lift your head slightly, your voice soft and apologetic.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep,” you urged between kisses on his shoulder.
One eyelid lifted to peek at you, a lazy smile tilting up one side of his mouth.
“It's okay, sweetheart.”
His hand slipped up your arm, languidly stroking you as he closed his eyes again and relaxed into your quiet worship.
After a minute, his groggy voice mixed in with the pattering of rain.
“What was it you were sayin?”
You hummed. “Nothin’.”
“You were sayin’ somethin’.”
You smiled, burying your face in the side of his chest to hide it. “I wasn't. Go back to sleep, Jimmy.”
“Say it again,” he asked, giving your arm a gentle push. “Come on, tell me.” His words were loose, his amusement lagged down by the heaviness of sleep still clinging on.
You shifted, cupping his cheek with your hand to turn his face toward you, kissing his lips long and slow until you were breathing into each other, his beard soft and familiar.
“Say it again,” he requested when you parted just enough for him to ask, his tone more serious. “Please?”
Your heart could burst. Knowing he had never heard it enough or only by someone who never meant it, you swore to make sure he went to sleep every night knowing that each time you said it, there was nothing truer he could ever be told.
“I love you, Jimmy.”
His smile stretched wider on his lips as his head laid heavier into his pillow, his joy visible as it graced him, and you couldn't help but beam along with him, knowing he had heard when you said it before. It didn't matter whether he did or not, if he was doing it just to tease you or simply needed to hear it declared again, you'd say it until you had no other words to speak at all.
Jimmy pulled you into him, his lips pressing against your forehead while you settled on his chest, tucked up and tangled with his naked body.
His heartbeat thrummed in your ear, slow and steady, his chest rumbling when he muttered against your hair.
“I love you too.”
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