#emotionallystunted

[quietstorm101]

Guys be as deep as a kitty pool from Walmart! 🤦🏾‍♀️

[tillytheinvisibleshadow]

Big old shout out/callout to myself for somehow breaking my own god damm heart instead of putting on my big boy pants and communicating my feelings.

Just going to self isolate for all of time where I can suffer alone and eat only ice cream and cry away my pain

[nothingispurelycoincidental]

First of many ramblings

I thought I would start this blog with thoughts from an old diary. However, I don't have them on me so, fortunately, you'll have to deal with a much more mature and reasonable person to the being I was years ago. When I first realised that I loved writing down my thoughts. I loved feeling my thoughts held meaning. That somehow my feelings mattered in a world with 7.125 billion people (according to 2013). Yes, I googled it, it was for your benefit but mostly mine. Of course, I'm talking about the first entries in the little red and white polka dot diary that's made out of silicon and plastic. One I even had a pathetic little key for. They were my musings, no one else's and like hell I was letting any of my four brothers snatch a chance to bask in my humiliation. Letting someone into your most inner thoughts is a vulnerable place where you'll rarely see me. It's just not something I was raised to express freely and without fear. I grew up in a family where we quickly whisper 'I love you's' to each other to avoid emotional situations. Don't get me wrong I would be lost without my family but the thought of expressing how much I love them in person makes me want to avoid them at all cost. And that's what I am, an avoider, I've self-diagnosed myself as an emotional avoider. No joke, right now I'm avoiding messaging this guy back for a date that I have tomorrow. I know why I haven't messaged back and it's simply because I don't want to go. It might also have to do with the fact that I was bed-ridden yesterday with the flu but excuses.. excuses, I'll be fine by tomorrow. I don't want to date him because I want to avoid feelings and also avoid being judged. Oh yes, that's a whole other ball of fun. My superb confidence in my own body. I'm not at my optimum level of attraction as if there is one for a self-judgemental fuck like me. However, it's not like I'm crying how much I hate my body while consuming chocolate coated strawberry ice cream with Maltesers. I'm making an effort to not eat shit. I'll let you know how it goes. To be fair, I am motivated because why should I be missing out on the best years of my life because I'm scared of some cellulite on my thunder thighs? It's pathetic if you ask me and I hate myself for feeling that way but unless you can donate so I can afford therapy I'm stuck feeling like this. But of course! It's not the only motivation to lose weight but it's because of a guy. Yes, I hate myself. *rolls eyes so hard I go blind*. I know I know. Kill myself right? It's not like I'm skinny, I am a little overweight so why not? How can someone love me if I don't love me? BUT, if he really likes me, wouldn't he love me just the way I am? God, society is fucked. You sure know how to confuse a girl. It's also about being healthy, which I am not so I'm gonna focus on that factor in my endeavour to lose weight. A healthy choice in itself. I love how I started with how emotionally fucked I am and the end just proved that statement, so great. Anywhore, that was a little snippet of what it's like to be inside my head. 

Till next time, dreamers x

PS. WHO SAW THE LATEST TWD EPISODE!

[dearsociopaths-blog]

I’ve got a feeling

Dear Sociopaths,

Why am I writing about my feelings rn?

Tata for now,

Emotionally Stunted

--

Dear Stunted,

idk, stop

Love,

Sociopaths

[lostboys9were9hipsters9-blog]

Last night my boyfriend told me that he is my boyfriend.  We’ve been dating since April.

Not gonna lie, it was a big step for both of us.

[roonilwazlib3]

Feeling emotionally numb!!! What do I do to experience the full spectrum of emotions and feelings again!!

[lovedfromabove]

So I was stumbling and up popped a personality assessor for relationships

Compared to the Average Person:

You want to spend low amounts of time together in your close relationships.

You need very high levels of communication in order to feel close to others.

You require about average intimacy in your close relationships, which means that you want to share about average amounts of personal information.

Your desire for people to be there to support you when you need them is high.

In order for you to feel close to others, you require very low levels of emotional connection, which means it's of very low importance to you that other people like you, feel happy thinking about you, and miss you when you're not around.

When trying to feel close to others, you need about average amounts of affection, which includes others finding ways to show you they love you.

"you require very low levels of emotional connection."

Who needs to be average anyway :P