The Box is the most common way parents, teachers and leaders use to motivate us to do their bidding. By itself, The Box is very easy to understand, whether or not it’s used on us or we use it on someone else. Most people would say, “Welcome to the world!” But, when is The Box considered a Bad Box?
The Box isn’t bad in and of itself.
Abusive forms of it are bad
Drastic physical or emotional punishment is bad
Total lack of rewards and entertainment can be bad
A steady diet of it is bad
Too many people using it (too many boxes) is bad
Too frequent of a use of it (micro-managing) is bad
Neglect is bad (nobody teaching or guiding) is bad
Obviously, abusive forms of The Box can be a horrible, tragic, or bad box. Manipulative reward promises, threats of violence or abandonment, and inappropriate types of entertainment are certainly suspect. As it is used in order to “force” us to obey, instead of encourage us, things head into an abusive direction. Of course, one-time uses to protect us from being hurt by sudden occurrences are OK. Basically, when “power” is the method of choice, something is not right.
Does Power Causes Bad Box?
Of course, when power has been established, the user of The Box can simply ride on our fear or awareness that what they say goes. The totally boxed-in person is too afraid or wise to challenge someone who has abused them before – they feel he or she will abuse them again. This can apply to women who cannot break away from or accuse their abusive husbands – or children who cannot break free or accuse their abusive parent(s).
When a person encounters too many people using The Box on them, or someone important using it over and over, it begins to overwhelm them. They begin to feel victimized. A Steady Diet of The Box is bad. Many people are stressed out because everywhere they turn they feel they are losing control over their own lives. Many who are suffering a mid-life crisis are simply rebelling against this dark oppression of their “free will”. If or when things get too tough to handle, or many people start to be concerned about your situation, it may be an important time to turn to a competent counselor or therapist. But, beware of seeking out someone who already controls you in some kind of systematic way – sometimes trusted friends use The Box to control us.
Remember, it is people who use The Box.
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