Me walking into the premier of Endgame like,
Snacks? Check!
Drinks? Check!
Tissues? ... check? Good.
My heart is NOT ready for this! Hahah!
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Sweden

seen from Russia

seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany

seen from Malaysia

seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from China

seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
Me walking into the premier of Endgame like,
Snacks? Check!
Drinks? Check!
Tissues? ... check? Good.
My heart is NOT ready for this! Hahah!
thought of the day
What should I believe? Im probably just hurting a bit and being over dramatic. Pls help
Everyone has a layer of bull shit in them. Some facade. Something opposite to everything they tell you they believe and think. Its not just out in the open though. You’ve really got to know a person to see under all the bull shit. Under this layer is a core part of you and it drives your every action along with the bull shit you that you created for people.
Take me for example. The bull shit me i show people is too happy and polite to a fault. I dont try very hard or move too quick. I think i’ve decided its easier than being let down. I dont like most things and find it easier to not have a preference. I wouldnt be surprised if i was a psychopath or mildly autistic in some way and this was just all a cover. But its likely these coping mechanisms were created with some sad context that if i were to try and lay out people could ooooo and awww over. If i knew where to start. I would try.
Thats the thing about your core. It isnt black and white. There are so many gray areas and to break someone down to just a couple ideals and events wouldnt in anyway fully explain why they are the way they are.
You could probably create a summery though. But i’d like to hold onto the idea that it takes either the right person or lots of time for you to get under this bull shit.
There must be different types of bull shit? Maybe it slightly changes over time? Should your goal be to get rid of it all together? Or is it essential?
Моя третья запись. Дата: 09,02,2019
приветствую вас!
итак, в данное время, я пишу это в уставшем состоянии. я всегда перед сном просиживаю драгоценные минуты моего сна(жизни?) в интернете. сегодня меня волновал один вопрос. хотя и этот вопрос я не задала сама себе, мне его задал мой близкий по душе человек. а суть вопроса в том, что мне подарить моему партнеру на день св.валентина и буду ли я вообще ему что-то дарить? дело в том, что я не знаю, как мой молодой человек относится к данному празднику. так как сама я отношусь к нему очень скептично, не знаю как мне его воспринимать.. серьезно ли, но зачем? если же воспринимать его не серьезно, то все становится гораздо легче. я думаю, стоит поговорить с моим партнером на эту тему(подумала я так, будто это легко осуществить). для меня всегда были трудны разговоры “по душам”, я стараюсь их избегать. иногда, в таких разговорах ты узнаешь то, чего совсем не хотел бы знать, а можно неожиданно вдруг выяснить, что это не тот человек с которым ты хочешь продолжать какое-либо общение. и так больно и тошно все вокруг становится, что хочется замолчать навсегда...
Day 312
Not all days are good. And it reminded me of this Tumblr space I used to have. And I want to reach out to anyone out there that also feel like their life is "on the edge". Feeling suffering, loss, loneliness, rejection. I want to ask you to not close your heart to these emotions. Do not numb the pain, because you will numb the joy in the same process. I am here for you. I see you. Please write to me if you need someone to talk to.
Not ready
“Fine” a dirty four letter word