@empathsies LUDGER said : ‘ just…stay for the night . ‘ to levi !
they’ve jumped from the stage of cold familiarity to a distinct warmth levi never expected to feel with ludger , & yet still there’s a wall between them . no matter how talented ludger is at slowly taking him apart , no matter how much he missed the sound of his voice , there’s still that nagging fear in him that this rekindled connection will bring him back to ostwick & the clutches of his father . there’s still that lingering resentment that ludger hadn’t gone with him when he’d left , that he’d even tried to convince him to stay --- he knows he can’t blame him , not really , not when ludger didn’t know a damn thing about the things he’d been subjected to , but the grudge remains nonetheless , a persistent stain in the back of his mind .
the murmured plea against his shoulder sends shivers down his spine , goosebumps racing over the surface of his skin , eyes fluttering open as he tenses in a way that has levi sure ludger would notice . he grits his teeth & pushes a sigh out through his nose . he shifts so he can sit up , & casts a glance at ludger in the low light of the room , heart thumping quietly in his chest . he won’t ignore the desire to do so , won’t deny that he’s thought about it ( every once in a while , he allows himself some good things , no matter how small ) .
‘ i’m not so sure that’s a good idea , ’ he breathes , voice quiet & anxious , clearly uncertain as he fully faces his childhood friend , ‘ you’re even more important now than you were in ostwick , darling . you need your rest , & , well ... truthfully , if i stayed the night , we likely wouldn’t be sleeping . ’ he grins , though it doesn’t reach his eyes as he leans down to give ludger a brief , clean kiss , & turns away to get out of bed & gather his clothes . if only the real truth was so simple .