My last few weeks have been pretty rough as well. That aside, I realize this ask is more madness-related than fnf-related, but here goes: Hank, Sanford, and Deimos (from sometime in between Madness 6 and 7) arrive at Funk City (my name for the city) and start looking for Tricky. Eventually they encounter BF and Auditor!Reader and chaos ensues. Sort of a Part 1.5 to the other tricky asks.
(Oh it's fine, I may not mainly write for Madness Combat, despite the fact so far all I've written for is Auditor Reader, it's perfectly fine. Any ideas are welcome here!)
Employer!Reader Protects BF (FT. Hank, Sanford and Deimos)
Another day, another issue, you were busy getting the next major project for the city off the ground. A massive new open air stadium for all varieties of musical talent. But, at the moment it was more of a fever dream than anything else. You had made sure the zoning permits were up to snuff, but now something had stalled construction.
"Boss, I really don't know how else to say it, but the train really did get derailed by a clown." You really weren't in the mood for this right now, only half listening to one of your Agents as they explained what happened.
"What about the truck deliveries?"
"Well, they are on their way, but that train derailment was just north of the main highway, they're stuck behind it until we get it cleared." You sighed as you felt headache start to form.
"I'll get it cleared in an hour, just make sure nobody gets crushed beneath a bulldozer again." Your Agents gave a salute before heading off. You needed to take a walk. Fortunately, the park wasn't far from the construction site.
Just sitting in the park was calming, even if you could hear the sounds of construction not far in the distance. It was a normal day, so the park was had at least a few groups of people walking through it, or playing basketball. You needed a vacation, but that would need to be after the stadium was done.
As you were relaxing you noticed the near neon blue hair of a familiar rising star. It seemed he noticed you as well, as you heard a distant Beep. He quickly made his way over to you, with you giving him an idle wave as you were more focused on relaxing.
"Badeebo Skra Dee!"
"I'm well, just taking a break from running the city." You looked around the park, before raising a shadowy eyebrow at him. "Where's Cherry?"
"Bo Dee Peep Skido"
"Ah I see, well I'm sure they'll be back before long. Family get togethers are usually a big deal." You shifted slightly so he could chill out next to you on the bench. The two of you talked mainly about how the city was treating him and his family, and how his family was. You only stopped when your phone began to ring. Sighing in annoyance you pulled it out and answered.
"What is it?"
"Hey boss? Remember when you told us to keep an eye out for people traveling from Nevada? Well we just screened three people coming in, and they were from Nevada, they also kinda shot Mark in the head and drove through the check point, and over Travis and James."
"Did you get their names?"
"Oh yeah! A Hank Wimbleton, Sanford, and Deimos. They didn't get to say what they were looking for when Harry decided to check their trunk. That's when they decided to cut and run."
"Do you know what kinda car they were driving?"
"Just a truck, why?" You looked up as he answered you, seeing a truck barreling towards you through the park. Wasting no time, you grabbed Keith and leapt into the air, just narrowly avoiding the truck as it plowed directly into the tree behind the bench, totaling it. You dropped Keith unceremoniously to the ground as you glared at the now smoking truck.
Jumping from the truck was the familiar form of the sociopathic hitman that hounded your brother's operations back home, Hank J. Wimbleton. From the cab of the truck stumbled out the clearly disoriented Sanford and Deimos. Deimos looked like he was looking for something, before looking back at the smoke filled truck and started searching in there, while Sanford stumbled over to a nearby ditch.
You couldn't see Hank's eyes behind his goggles, but you knew he knew you were a threat. Which to be fair, with the headache you now had, you very much were. Deimos eventually reemerged from the truck with a cigarette in his month, before he went over to Sanford, whom he helped up.
"If you think this will end well for you.-
YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN
Immediately Hank whipped out a pistol and opened up on you, his rounds didn't manage to hurt you, namely as they just burned in your body. You shifted over to him and cracked him across the jaw, sending him back into the truck. He came back, this time with a shotgun that caused portions of your body to disperse for a moment. You grabbed the shotgun and bent it in half, only for Sanford to join in the fight by trying to stab you. Your shadows grabbed him by the neck and slammed him into ground.
Deimos didn't seem to really want to join as he was talking with Keith, or trying to offer him a smoke. Hank's fists tried to connect with your face, only for you to grab him by the leg and started flailing him around wildly while Sanford tried to get back up. From Hank's pocket he pulled out a grenade, pulling the pin and dropping it right on top of you.
The flashbang had you drop him as you tried to figure out which was up. He opened fire with a Micro Uzi, which actually stung you due to your disoriented state. Sanford cracked you over the head with a crowbar, which snapped you back to attention, and flared your temper. Your shadow tendrils grabbed Sanford and started using him as both a weapon and shield. Beating Hank with him, and using him to keep Hank from shooting you.
The fighting was about get worse, when all three of you stopped when a loud Beep was heard. Hank, Sanford and you looked over to Deimos and Keith, when Deimos looked around before a second, before pointing his thumb at Keith.
"Badee Beep Peep Skra Tah!"
Hank looked at you for a moment, as you dropped Sanford like a broken toy.
"He asked if he could fight you."
Hank looked at him as he pulled out another uzi, pointing it at Keith, only for it to burn away into nothing. "Not like that, we do things differently around here." You snapped your fingers, causing your own speaker system to erupt from beneath Deimos, sending him flying before smacking into the ground next to Sanford.
Another snap of your fingers caused two microphones to appear, one in Keith's hand and the other in Hank's. "Simply put, you both will try and beat the other in a singing contest. Once the victor has been decided, the loser must concede to the victor's demands. Which means if you lose, you have to leave."
Hank raised an eyebrow at you as the speaker system kicked on. You hopped on top of it, usually where Cherry would sit, but you would need to substitute. Hank was used to killing things in numerous ways, but killing it in a Funk Fight was likely new to him.
Hank was quite adept at singing despite being mute, but time and time again, the fight went to Keith. Hank didn't seem happy with that as his grip on his knife tightened. You were about to intervene when a familiar clown laugh echoed through the air. Your phone rang again, with you putting it on speaker.
"Boss! That clown came back! I think he's hijacked an empty commuter train!"
You stared down Hank, and he did the same with you, both you snapped your fingers, which caused the surrounding area to revert back to normal, with the truck the trio tried to run you down with no longer trashed.
Sanford and Deimos got back into the driver and passenger seat, while Hank hopped into the back. He motioned that he was watching you as they drove off, but he didn't miss you flipping him off as they got out sight.
You let out a held breath and walked over to Keith, ruffling his hair.
"I owe you one kid, I really didn't want to have to get into a drag out fight today." You walked back over to the bench and collapsed into it, Keith joining you while you rested.