May 18, 2023
AETHELSTAN & INGILMUNDR (Seven Kings Must Die, 2023)
Death by a Thousand Cuts by Taylor Swift
for @emilyhufflepufftlk 🖤
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AETHELSTAN & INGILMUNDR (Seven Kings Must Die, 2023)
Death by a Thousand Cuts by Taylor Swift
for @emilyhufflepufftlk 🖤
ㅤㅤㅤ
Em's 500 Followers Challenge
Thank you again for the 500 followers, it means a lot. This is a fun challenge to celebrate and to hopefully get everyone's creative juices flowing. This is a Taylor Swift inspired challenge because I love her music and I find her lyrics make great prompts.
Rules:
It's open to anyone whether you follow me or not.
You are welcome to create whatever you like - fics, headcanons, gif sets, edits, fanart, moodboards etc.
What you create should be for/inspired by The Last Kingdom/Seven Kings Must Die but can feature any character/ship/topic you like.
For fics, you can write anything you like (angst, smut, fluff, whatever you fancy) but please tag appropriately and use readmore if it's long.
Pick a prompt from below - you can either use the song title itself as a prompt, a lyric from that song or the whole song; likewise for the albums you can use the title itself as a prompt or create something off the general vibe/colour/theme of the album (which I've included in brackets).
Please let me know which prompt you would like to use. You can have as many as you like but only two people can have the same prompt (I will cross prompts off once two people have picked them).
Soft Deadline: 1st July
Album prompts:
Debut (green, coming of age, innocence)
Fearless (yellow/gold, fairytales, teen love, first heartbreak)
Speak Now (purple, regrets, toxic relationships, growing up) @persephones-journey @mirandahamilton
Red (red, autumn, heartbreak, 'happy, free, confused and lonely')
1989 (blue, neon, new love, finding yourself, starting afresh) @geekandbooknerd
Reputation (black, revenge, secret relationships) @itbmojojoejo
Lover (pink, established relationship, love, happiness, romance) @axe-does-writing @lonnson
Folklore (grey/silver, summer, stories, forests, nature) @errruvande
Evermore (orange/brown, winter, stories, cosy cottage)
Midnights (navy blue, self reflection, late nights, past regrets) @persephones-journey @arcielee
Song Prompts:
Picture to Burn
A Place In This World @ errruvande
Cold As You
I'm Only Me When I'm With You
A Perfectly Good Heart
Fifteen
You Belong With Me
You're Not Sorry
The Other Side Of The Door
Mine @persephones-journey
Sparks Fly
Never Grow Up @ errruvande
Enchanted
Better Than Revenge
Haunted
Last Kiss
Treacherous
I Knew You Were Trouble @persephones-journey
All Too Well
The Last Time
Everything Has Changed
Begin Again @geekandbooknerd
The Moment I Knew @magravenwrites
Better Man
All You Had To Do Was Stay @ persephones-journey
I Wish You Would
Wildest Dreams @morosemagick @ persephones-journey
How You Get The Girl
This Love
I Did Something Bad
Don't Blame Me @ itbmojojoejo
Delicate
Getaway Car
Dancing With Our Hands Tied
Call It What You Want
Cruel Summer @finanmoghra
Death By A Thousand Cuts @princess--of--the--dragonstone
Soon You'll Get Better @ princess—of—the—dragonstone
Afterglow
It's Nice To Have A Friend @ persephones-journey
Daylight @ errruvande
the 1
exile @volvaaslaug
this is me trying @ princess--of--the—dragonstone
illicit affairs @ persephones-journey
invisible string
peace
champagne problems
'tis the damn season @finanmoghra
tolerate it
no body, no crime
long story short
right where you left me @ persephones-journey
Anti-Hero
You're On Your Own, Kid @ mirandahamilton
Vigilante Shit @princess--of--the--dragonstone
Sweet Nothing @timetravelingpenguin1066
The Great War
Bigger Than The Whole Sky @solinarimoon
Would've, Could've, Shoud've @arcielee
Tagging mutuals who might be interested (no pressure): @lauwrite1225 @93xdiagonxalley @trenko-heart @medievalfangirl @muddleofnervouswords @anotherwinchesterfangirl @blah-blah-blah-bla @aelswiths @eretriahs @finantheagile @halfmylife @mommytauriel @agreyraincloudd @dailytlk @chaoticdumbassary @pupzbitez @onesaltyhunter @moonlight-rider25 @charming-merlin @aadmelioraa @nanahachikyuu @lazypeachsoul @cheerylogan @mrsalwayswrite @for-bebbanburg @wildwren @naps4bats @cibs
The Moment I Knew by Taylor Swift
Click on the images for better quality
This was my prompt for @emilyhufflepufftlk 500 follower challenge - congrats again Em!
Tags:
@emilyhufflepufftlk @axe-does-writing @morosemagick @solinarimoon @madrielite @lauwrite1225
My last prompt for @emilyhufflepufftlk Em's 500 Follower Challenge. This was was the All You Had To Do Was Stay prompt and I basically used an idea I originally had for my Aisling/Finan fic 'Through the Dark' because it did fit the prompt.
So, be prepared for tears. And it is LONG.
Read here on Ao3.
Tagging: @medievalfangirl @solinarimoon @blah-blah-blah-bla @lauwrite1225 @morosemagick @still-with-you @93xdiagonxalley
Finan had lost enough in his life.
He lost his first wife and sons, his first real love, his crown, and his freedom.
When Ragnar had saved Uhtred from the slave ship, and by extension Finan, Finan had thought that his time losing things he loved and wanted was over.
He had found Aisling and married her. He loved her with everything he had left in his broken, patched up heart. He loved the family he was building with her and their two daughters.
It was why, on that chilly winter day, when she stood beside Ragnar and said she was staying, something in Finan's mind and his heart could not comprehend it.
“What?” he asked as Uhtred stood beside him.
“I am staying here in Dunholm,” Aisling said. “You can go and save Aethelflaed. I am staying here.”
Finan's mouth went dry. He walked over to Aisling, and did not care that most of the Danes were in the courtyard. He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from Ragnar. Ragnar took a step forward but Uhtred shook his head and Ragnar backed off.
Finan pulled his wife away from everything and stood across from her. “Ya are my wife,” he stated.
“We have been over this, Finan, I know you are my husband, I was there when we wed,” she muttered.
Finan rolled his eyes. “That is not what I meant and ya know it,” he grabbed her shoulders, “I am staying if ya are.”
“No, you can't.”
“The hell I can't,” he half shouted. “Ya are my wife, Aisling, the mother of my daughters. I am not going to let ya stay here alone!”
Aisling shoved him away. He stepped back surprised. “I may be your wife and the mother of your children, Finan, but I am still my own person. I make my own decisions whether you allow them or not.”
Finan's anger spiked. “Don't ya turn this around,” he stated and he stepped back closer to her. “Ya know damn well that I know ya are your own person who is capable of making her own decisions.”
“Really? Then why are you doing this?”
Finan shook his head as she shoved him again. His hands shook in anger and he eyed her. “Why are ya doing this?!” he yelled back. “Why are ya picking a fight with me over me wanting to stay here with ya?” he demanded his voice softening. “We left our daughters behind in Winchester, Aisling, can ya not see that I do not wish to leave ya behind here?”
“And I don't care what your wishes are. They do not matter right now,” Aisling added. Rather cruelly.
Finan's heart, which had been shattered and mended over and over, took the blow and broke again. He felt he could not breathe for a moment. Aisling walked away from him, as if he was not her husband, not the man she loved; as if he was no one to her.
“Finan,” Uhtred said as he walked over and pressed a hand to Finan's chest. “We need to leave if we are-.”
Finan nodded. “Aye,” was all he said.
He walked away, keeping his back towards where Aisling had walked to. He could not look at her.
He would not look at her.
He climbed on his horse and rode out with Osferth beside him. He did not look back at Dunholm or his wife.
He could not look back; his heart was shattered enough.
Stay...
Aisling pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed into them. She cried and cried. She tried not to think of Finan and how he must hate her.
She had done the only thing she could to keep him safe.
And now, he was off with Uhtred saving Aethelflaed, while she was riding with Ragnar and this Great Dane army towards battle with Alfred.
“You could have went with him,” she heard Ragnar say as he walked over to where she sat at the base of a tree.
She snorted and wiped away her tears. “What happened to giving a person privacy when they say they need to go shit?” she asked as she looked at him.
Ragnar smirked and sat beside her. “I am your brother, I know you,” he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. “You did not have to stay with me.”
Aisling cuddled close to him. “No, I did,” she whispered. “I need to be there and save you,” she added.
She felt Ragnar stroke her hair. She closed her eyes as he leaned in and kissed the crown of her head. “I could save myself.”
She smiled. “I know,” she turned and looked at him, “but I need to be there just to make sure.”
He smiled and stroked her cheek brushing her tears away. “One day, he will see that you did not mean to hurt him. And he will forgive you.”
More tears came to her eyes. She looked away. “I don't know,” she whispered. “I just know that right now, there is a part of me that aches and is missing now,” she turned and looked at Ragnar, “I can't feel him, Ragnar. Usually, when we are apart, I could sense him, or his love. But now,” she pressed her hand to her chest, “I don't feel anything.”
Ragnar reached out and took her hand that was on her chest. “He still loves you. That man would have burned down Winchester and Beamfleot for you when the brothers had you,” Ragnar said. “That kind of love, it does not simply go away because things get hard.”
Aisling looked away from Ragnar. “No, but it can be chipped away at and broken until there is nothing left.”
Ragnar cursed in Danish. He leaned in and kissed her temple. “And here I thought Uhtred was the only one who got moody and broody.”
Aisling pulled away from him. She wiped her tears and stood. Ragnar got up and stood beside her as well. She hugged him around the middle when he hugged her tight.
“Come, let's get back on our horses and get moving,” he said as he pulled away. “Cnut has already been complaining.”
Aisling snorted. “Cnut is a cunt.”
Ragnar laughed. “So, you have said over and over,” he added.
Aisling walked beside him. She looked up at the sky. She took a slow breath.
Please let Finan understand. Please. I cannot lose his love or him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Then why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?...
Finan walked into the chapel at the convent. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. He took a slow breath and closed his eyes.
Haesten had not come yet so Finan was going to take a few moments and pray. He needed to pray and offer up his worries, his hurt, his pain to a higher power.
He opened his eyes and walked over to the altar. He looked at it. He bowed his head and made the sign of the cross.
“God, I,” his voice cracked. He cleared his throat. “I love her,” he whispered. “I love her still and I know I always will. But I cannot,” he sighed and swallowed again as the pain made his throat close up, “all she had to do was let me stay,” he said. “All she had to do was stay with me. But she could not even do that.”
He fell to his knees in front of the altar. His sobs echoed in the chapel. Moments of his life with Aisling came flooding back. The way she looked at him, her smile, her laugh; her. From the moment he had found her in the river outside of Coccham, he had wanted her. He had felt pulled to her connected to her in a way he had never felt before.
He had thought she would be his happy ending.
Not the final blow to his shattered heart.
“Please,” he begged to any God that was listening, “please bring her home,” he added. “I cannot survive not knowing where she is and if she is safe. Bring her home, just please bring her home.”
He slumped down and wiped his tears away. He looked down at his left hand; the claddagh ring there on his ring finger. This ring symbolizes my promise of everlasting love and loyalty, he heard Aisling voice echo in his head. He closed his eyes and their wedding day came rushing back. His hand shook.
He opened his eyes and shook his head. He reached over to pull the ring off. His fingers shook and he could not make himself pull it off. He dropped his hands and shook his head.
“Not yet,” he whispered. “I can't.”
He sat on the chapel floor praying. He prayed his daughters were safe. He prayed Aisling was safe. But he spent most of his time praying that she came back.
He was so angry at her and hurt, but he needed to see her again. He needed to know she was all right and alive before he decided if he was going to let her go and stop loving her.
He snorted. As if he could stop loving her. Aisling would always be his everything, his second chance, his dream made real.
The day he stopped loving her was the day he stopped breathing.
I wonder if she can say the same, he thought as he prayed.
He was scared of the answer.
This was what you wanted...
Aisling watched Aethelwold with her hand on her sword. The blue stone at the pommel was cold against her wrist but she didn't care. Most of the Danes around her were drunk or had turned in for the night. Brida had turned in finally; in a separate tent then Ragnar. Aisling reminded herself to punch her brother for that later.
If he survived the night.
Aethelwold moved making a big show of pretending to be drunk. He did not see her. Of course not, he had decided without Finan, Uhtred, or Ragnar standing by her side, she was not a threat.
She was going to prove him wrong.
Her ocean blue eyes, they remind me of the ocean off the coast of Irland, my heart, followed Aethelwold. She saw him walk towards Ragnar's tent. She moved long, quietly and hidden under her hood and furs. She had made a show of going to bed and snuck out the back of her tent hours later. Cnut was too busy trying to get Brida into his bed to notice. And Aethelwold was too busy trying to keep an eye on Ragnar and not let anyone else catch on.
It was moments like that she was thankful she had Uhtred's blood flowing through her. The blood of a stubborn bastard, Finan had said more than once.
Finan.
Aisling pushed thoughts of Finan aside as she watched Aethelwold pull the flap back and step into Ragnar's tent. She hurried up, moving around the other two tents until she was at Ragnar's. She pulled her sword out and used it to move the flap aside and she peeked inside.
She saw Aethelwold walk towards the bed. He grabbed Ragnar's sword. That was all Aisling needed. She slipped inside the tent. She saw the servant girl Ragnar had slept with wake up. She pressed her finger to her lips and the servant girl did not scream. Aethelwold turned and saw she was awake and sitting up in bed.
“I'm sorry but you need to die too,” he whispered.
“There is only one person dying tonight,” Aisling said as she stepped behind Aethelwold and pressed the tip of her sword blade against the back of Aethelwold's neck. “And it is not her or Ragnar,” she added.
She saw the servant girl shake Ragnar awake. He sat up and saw Aethelwold and her. He frowned. “What is going on here?” he demanded.
“Tell him, Aethelwold,” Aisling pushed as she pressed the tip deeper into his skin. “Tell him what you planned with Cnut.”
“I-I,” Aethelwold cursed. “Cnut convinced me I should kill you before you kill me,” he said finally to Ragnar.
Aisling looked up and met Ragnar's eyes. Ragnar swung his legs from the bed and stood naked. Aisling groaned and stared up at the top of the tent.
“Really?” she muttered.
“You thought you could kill me?” Ragnar demanded.
“Please, don't harm me! I can be of use! I can-.”
Aisling looked down as Aethelwold began to choke. She watched as he slumped over. She saw Ragnar, holding the sword he had pulled from Aethelwold hands.
“I must speak with Cnut,” he said then.
Aisling nodded. “Pants first,” she said as she looked back up at the top of the tent. “That would be for the best.”
Ragnar chuckled. Aisling turned and left his tent. She put her sword back in its scabbard. She looked up and smirked as she saw Cnut walk out of his tent. She nodded her head at him and saw him frown.
She was going to enjoy watching him squirm later.
All I know is you drove us off the road...
Finan held the shield up and stood beside Uhtred. He watched as Haesten rode towards them with his whole army of men. Finan cursed.
Fear tingled up his spine. He closed his eyes for a moment, and prayed.
He needed to live past this. He needed to survive.
He had a wife to confront again.
Soon, all thoughts of Aisling left his mind though, as the battle started. He fought for his life and that of the men around him. He dodged axes and swords and killed Danes. The battle screamed around him and Finan barely had time to think and focus on anything other than staying alive.
The shield wall, or circle that they had began to crumble. It became a free for all between them and the Danes. Finan barely had time to think about where the men Edward had promised were; he was too busy trying to stay alive.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, he heard them. He let out a breath as he swung his sword and killed another Dane. The battle turned then; in their favour. However, he saw Haesten with Skade and a part of him knew that they had still lost what they had really come for.
After, when he had killed all the Danes around him, and the others were running away, he was able to take a longer moment and relax. He sighed and breathed. He looked down at his left hand holding his seax. He saw the blood on it, on his wedding band.
And he felt relief.
For the fact that his wife, the woman who owned his heart and body, his very soul, was not there. Aisling had not been put in danger. She was with Ragnar and the Dane army.
She was safe.
For now.
“Finan, it's Osferth,” Sihtric said suddenly jolting Finan out of his thoughts.
Finan turned and placed his sword and seax in their scabbards. “Where is Uhtred?” he asked.
“I do not know. Around here somewhere,” Sihtric said.
“Find him and tell him.”
Finan jogged over to where Sihtric pointed. He found Osferth sitting there holding his chest. Finan shoved him down and grabbed a cloth and shoved it under Osferth's chest plate.
“Ya will be fine,” he told Osferth as he kneeled on the cold ground beside him. “My girls need their Uncle Osferth around.”
He saw Osferth smile. “You mean, Uncle Baby Monk,” he muttered.
Finan smiled. “Ya love it when they call ya that.”
“I really don't.”
Finan sighed. He smiled but felt tears come to his eyes. “Ya are not allowed to die,” he told Osferth. “I cannot lost anyone else.”
He felt Osferth take his hand. “Aisling is not lost to you, Finan. She is going to come back.”
Finan snorted. “Ya don't know that.”
“I do,” he answered firmly. “She loves you, Finan. She loves you more that I have ever seen another person love someone,” Finan saw Osferth's eyes filled with tears. “She will come back to you, come back to us,” he said softly.
Finan nodded. He looked down as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Ya have so much faith in her,” he whispered.
“So do you, Finan,” Osferth whispered. “I know you do. You're just hurt right now.”
Before Finan could say anything else, Uhtred came over with Sihtric. He swallowed whatever he had been planning on saying.
Uhtred and he had a very shaky truce at the moment. Uhtred was his friend, but he was also Aisling's brother. Finan was under no illusion that Uhtred's loyalty was with Aisling and not him. So, Finan decided not to tell Uhtred how angry he was or hurt by Aisling's actions.
It made for a very awkward journey to Beamfleot and Finan knew it would make for an even more awkward journey back.
The more I think about it, the less I know...
“Are you sure?” Ragnar asked Aisling.
Aisling stood and looked down at the fire. She had her arms crossed on her chest. Aethelwold was dead, his body along with a messenger was being sent to Aethelflaed's estate in Mercia as they spoke. Ragnar, his men, and others who did not like Cnut using a Saxon to try and kill Ragnar in his sleep, had left headed back to Dunholm.
About two hundred men.
Aisling wanted a handful to go back and follow Cnut, Bloodhair, and Haesten. She wanted to follow them to battle.
And rejoin Uhtred and her husband.
“I am,” she answered softly. “I can watch Cnut and the rest from a far and make sure that Uhtred and my husband are safe.”
“You would be helping the Saxons,” Brida spat out.
“I would be keeping my brother and husband alive,” Aisling countered. She looked at Ragnar. “Our brother.”
“Ragnar do not-,” Brida started.
“No,” Ragnar said softly. “Aisling has the right of it. The Great Dane Army was a mess from the start, Uhtred was right about that. The only thing we can do now, is make sure that the Saxon King and his son know that we were not a part of it any longer. Aisling can deliver that message for us.”
“They will believe she is a traitor as well,” Brida said.
Ragnar snorted. “I doubt very much that Uhtred will allow that to happen. Finan either. They will both make sure that everyone knows that Aisling is not a traitor or the enemy.”
Aisling saw Brida roll her eyes but she said nothing. She turned and walked away. Ragnar stepped closer to Aisling and stood in front of her. Aisling looked at him. He reached out and pressed a hand to her cheek.
“I will only choose those men I can truly trust with your safety,” he told her. “I will not just choose anyone.”
Aisling smirked. “Are you saying that I am special to you?” she asked.
Ragnar rolled his eyes. “You know you are,” he yanked her close and hugged her. She felt him kiss her head. “You will be careful, won't you? And you will not wander too close to the Dane army?” he asked softly.
Aisling nodded as she nestled her head on his chest. “I will stay safe,” she answered. “I have no desire to be killed or die before I can see my husband and daughters again.”
“But not Uhtred?” Ragnar teased.
Aisling pulled away. She looked into Ragnar's blue eyes. “I want to see him as well,” she cupped his face in her hands. “He is my brother as much as he is yours,” she said.
Ragnar nodded. “He is,” he leaned in and kissed her forehead, “and he better take care of you. Tell him if he doesn't, I am going to come and beat him.”
Aisling laughed. She nodded. “I will, brother,” she added.
Ragnar held her close. “Come on, let us go and eat and I will choose those men.”
She leaned against his side and nodded. She held him close and tried not to think about Finan. She worried about him and hoped he was well and all right.
She ached for him.
Hey, all you had to do was stay...
Finan stared at the body wrapped in the blankets. He barely heard the messenger, a Dane he thought the man said, go on about how Aethelwold had been killed by Ragnar. After Ragnar had taken his men, and others, including Aisling, and left.
They were headed back towards Dunholm.
“Finan,” Uhtred said. “Aisling is safe,” he said softly.
Finan turned and looked at him. “Is she?” he asked.
He turned and walked away. He headed towards the manor house where he knew Osferth was resting in a side room. He needed to get away from Uhtred before he punched the man.
He walked into the side door and let it slam behind him. He leaned against the wall and cursed. He closed his eyes and slammed his fists beside him against the wall hard.
Aisling was riding back to Dunholm with Ragnar. She would rather do that than ride towards him.
What are ya thinking, Aisling? Do ya even care that I can barely sleep without ya? Don't ya need to be with me? Don't ya ache to have me beside ya again like I ache for ya?
It was too much for Finan. He couldn't understand it; couldn't understand Aisling. He thought he knew her; had been sure he knew her heart and her mind. Would have told anyone who asked that his wife's mind was an open book to him.
But he didn't.
He feared her had never known her at all.
Tears rolled down his cheeks. He wiped them away and took a few more minutes. He did not want Osferth to see how hurt he was. Osferth needed to focus on healing and nothing else.
Finan spent several moments taking slow breaths and wiping his tears away until they stopped. He continued down the hall then and knocked on the door Osferth was in before he pushed it opened. Osferth was sitting up in bed and turned to look at him.
“Has there been news on Skade or Sihtric?” Osferth asked.
Finan shook his head. He still could not believe that Sihtric had taken the prisoners and left Aethelflaed's estate in the dead of the night.
It was a betrayal.
And Finan's heart could not handle another one of those.
“No,” he said softly as he walked over to the bed. He sat down and looked at Osferth. “It was a messenger with news about Aisling,” he added carefully.
He saw Osferth sit up more and look at him. “What news?” he asked carefully.
Finan looked away. “She is with Ragnar heading back to Dunholm. He took his men and separated from the Dane army,” he said.
Silence greeted him. He turned and looked at Osferth. The young man sat there a look of surprise on his face. He nodded then and looked at Finan.
“But she is fine?” Osferth asked.
Finan looked at him. “As far as the messenger knows, aye, she is fine. But she is not coming back to me.”
“Yet,” Osferth said.
Finan raised an eyebrow and gave him a hard look. “Baby monk,” he started.
“No,” Osferth said firmly. Finan heard a strength in his voice he had not heard before. “I do not know her reasons for staying beside Ragnar, I do not know why she has chosen to stay with Ragnar instead of coming back,” Osferth swallowed and Finan could see how much it hurt him as well that Aisling had not come back. “But, I do know that she still loves you, Finan. She will come back to us. You are her home. She will always come back to you.”
Finan heard the conviction in his voice again. He was not sure why or how Osferth could believe so much that Aisling would come back.
Finan, no matter how much he loved her and ached for her, did not believe it that much that she would be back.
“Finan?” Osferth asked softly.
He looked up and met Osferth's eyes. “I wish I could have as much faith in my wife as ya do,” he whispered.
Osferth reached out and grabbed Finan's hand. “Deep down, under all the pain and hurt, I know you believe she will come back to you. I know that.”
Finan felt tears come to his eyes again. He let them roll down his cheeks. He reached out and wiped his tears away. He could not meet Osferth's eyes.
“I have been hurt so much, Os,” he whispered. “I lost the woman I thought I loved, that I thought I could have forever with. She was ripped away from me in the cruelest way by my brother. And then I spent years robbed of my freedom on a slave ship,” he pulled his hand away from Osferth and rubbed his eyes. He stood and began to pace. “Just when I thought I was done, that I did not wish to love again, did not need to have some one to share my life and my heart with, Aisling appeared in that river,” he closed his eyes.
The day floated back to him. He remembered everything about seeing her for the first time. The way her rust hair had floated around her. The white of her dress and the heaviness of it as he had lifted her from the water and pulled her from the bank. The coolness of her skin as he had touched her and held her tight to warm her.
Every moment spent with Aisling was seared into Finan's mind and soul. He could not remember a time before she was in his life, in his arms any longer. It was becoming harder and harder to remember even his time on the slave ship, the worst time in his life, because happy memories of Aisling would flood him.
She was his home, his safe place; his heartbeat.
“Finan,” Osferth said softly bringing Finan back to the present. Finan opened his eyes and looked at his friend, the young man Aisling had urged him to befriend and watch over. “Aisling was meant to be there by your side. You were always meant to find her.”
“Aye,” Finan said. “But we were not always meant to have a happy ending, were we?” he asked.
Osferth looked at him. He gave Finan a soft smile. “I believe you will have a happy ending this time,” he leaned back and winced as he held his side. “I have learned never to count Aisling out. She is stronger than anyone, man or woman, I have ever known.”
Finan smiled and wiped his tears away. “Ya know, baby monk, when did ya get so wise?” he asked needing to lighten the mood. He did not wish for Osferth to worry too much about all this. He needed to focus on his healing and nothing else.
Osferth smirked. “When you weren't looking,” he said.
Finan laughed a bit. “Come on, do ya wish to move around a bit? The healer said ya cannot lay around all day like a king.”
Osferth sighed. “You're right. Help me up. I wish to go check on Uhtred.”
Finan eyed him. “Ya know that mothering Uhtred is my job not yours, right?”
He walked over to the bed and helped Osferth stand. Osferth stood up beside him and wrapped an arm around Finan's waist. Finan saw Osferth give him a soft smile.
“I think right now, both you and Uhtred need a bit of mothering. And since I am the only one here other than Orm,” Osferth took a step, “I guess it's up to me to mother the two of you.”
Finan snorted. “I'm not sure Orm could find his ass with both hands.”
Osferth laughed and snorted. “That is something Aisling would say.”
Finan was quiet. It was something Aisling would say, had said before. Mostly about Aethelwold and even Uhtred if he was annoying her.
He pushed all thoughts of Aisling aside though. He needed to focus on Osferth and Uhtred. And what they were going to do about Sihtric leaving them.
I have enough problems right now. I cannot let the pain of Aisling not coming back swallow me whole.
Well, it could've been easy...
Aisling frowned as she watched the men ride into the Dane camp. She grabbed the looking glass from Ivar, a short round Dane with red hair brighter than hers, and used it. She cursed as she saw he was riding in front of the men.
Dagfinn and Sihtric.
“Shit,” she muttered.
“It would seem that one of the Dane-Slayer's men has abandoned him,” Ivar said.
“Ivar,” Aisling said carefully.
“Yes?”
She turned and looked into his bright green eyes. “Call my brother the Dane-Slayer one more time and I will take your balls slowly and painfully.”
“You'd have to find them first,” the other man on the other side of her, with curly brown hair braided and a bright smile, Harald said. He turned and Aisling found his kind brown eyes looking at her. He winked.
She blushed and turned away. She was fully aware that Harald not only respected her, but he also wanted to bed her. He had been flirting with her even since they rode off from Ragnar and Brida. Ivar also wanted to bed her, but she was very aware that it was because, unlike Harald, he wanted to have the power that he thought would come with bedding and wedding the sister of Ragnar the Fearless and Uhtred, the Dane-Slayer.
Harald it seemed wanted to bed her because he wanted her. Period.
I suddenly miss Orm and his quiet, detached longing from a far, Aisling thought.
“I have a large set of balls!” Ivar exclaimed.
Aisling shoved him. “Will you be quiet before Haesten, Bloodhair, or Cunt himself hears you?” she said. “Head back to camp and make sure it is all set up.”
“But-.”
“Ivar, go,” she said shoving him again.
He rolled his eyes but listened. Aisling turned back to the Dane camp and cursed as she watched what she assumed was the prisoners Uhtred had taken from Beamfleot, for she knew about that from sending Harald into a village the Dane army had left, and the arrival of Haesten shortly after.
“Would Sihtric turn on Uhtred?” Harald asked from her side. She noticed how he moved closer to her.
Aisling sighed and shrugged. “I don't know,” she whispered. She turned and looked at him. He was taller than her, perhaps even taller than Finan. “I would have said no, never but with Skade involved,” she shrugged. “Who knows?”
Harald nodded. “What do you want to do?” he asked as he crossed his arms on his chest. Aisling looked away as he had not done up most of the ties on his tunic and she could see his muscular chest underneath.
Aisling sighed. “We stay back and continue to watch and follow them,” she said softly. “And stay out of sight from their scouts,” she added.
Harald snorted. “Their scouts have been scouting a head like idiots and not behind,” he said.
She smiled at him. “Good for us then.”
She turned and started to walk back towards the camp. Harald fell into step beside her. She glanced at him and saw he walked close to her; like Finan did. She felt his arm bump hers. She turned and looked at him. He gave her a smile.
“I am married,” she answered.
He smirked. “I don't see your husband around,” he answered.
She rolled her eyes. “I am not going to sleep with you, Harald.”
“Who said anything about sleeping?”
She groaned and stopped walking. She turned and looked at him. “I love my husband.”
“You love him so much you left him behind,” Harald said.
Aisling shook her head. “I needed to be with Ragnar,” she looked into his brown eyes; they reminded her of Finan. Harald's had a spark to them though and she could see flirting look in them. “Finan will understand that,” she said.
“Will he?” Harald reached out and stroked her cheek. “If you were my wife, I would follow you to the ends of the Earth and into Nifheim,” he whispered as he stepped closer. “Nothing would part me from your side.”
He stepped closer and leaned down. Aisling pulled her dagger from its home in the scabbard on her thigh. She pressed it against Harald's cock. Harald stopped his lips almost touching hers. She could feel his breath on her lips.
“I will part your cock from the rest of you if you do not step back,” she whispered her voice soft but clear. “The only man who will ever kiss me is my husband,” she added. Memories of another Dane, with kind brown eyes danced around her mind and she shoved them back in their neat little box and slammed the lid closed.
Harald smiled. “You are fire, Aisling,” he whispered. She felt him stroke her cheek. “I hope your husband knows how lucky he is to have such a loyal wife like you.”
She pressed the dagger more against his cock. The word fire echoing in her mind allowing the lid of that little box to slid open a tad again. Harald chuckled but stepped back. She flipped her dagger around, a move she learned from Uhtred, and placed it back on her thigh. “Let's go,” she muttered.
“That's it?” he asked as he followed her. “No, telling me your husband will hear about this? No threatens of him harming me?”
Aisling turned and looked at Harald. “If you ever try that again, there will be nothing left of you for him to harm. I can take care of myself, Harald. I do not need a man to fight my battles for me,” she said.
He looked at her. He nodded. “Beamfleot has left its mark, I see.”
Her hands closed into fists. She clenched them so hard she felt her nails dig into her palms. “You know nothing of what went on in Beamfleot. You do not know anything of what I went through of those I lost there. You have only heard stories and you are not important enough for me to tell you what really happened.”
Harald eyed her. “It was said Sigefrid loved you. He protected you and refused to give you to his men because of this love. It was why he let Ragnar take you. He knew if you stayed, you would be harmed and he did not wish to risk that.”
And with those words, the lid of the box Aisling kept all her memories of Sigefrid and Erik came falling off as if a bomb had exploded in her mind and the memories flooded her.
“Min lille ild,” Sigefrid whispered to her as he stroked her hair. “You would be more comfortable on a bed,” he added as he wrapped his arms around her.
Aisling blinked her eyes and looked around. She remembered where she was then. Beamfleot. She had been there three days. She pulled away from Sigefrid and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“I will head back to Aethelflaed now,” she said as she stood.
Sigefrid stood beside her. “I will walk you back.”
“You do not-.”
“No, I do,” he looked into her eyes. His brown eyes smiled at her. “I cannot have harm come to you.”
Aisling let tears come to her eyes. My little fire. It was what he had called her. She shook her head as she looked at Harald.
“You know nothing,” she whispered.
He held up his hands. “Apparently neither does your husband.”
Aisling shook her head and turned away. She walked back towards the camp, tears falling as she went. She hugged herself, barely noticing that her palms were bleeding, she had dug her nails in them so deep.
I need to finish this and get back to Finan. I miss him too much. That's all this is.
People like you always want back the love they gave away...
Finan caught his daughters in his arms and held them tight. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall.
The last two weeks had been hard. Uhtred, Osferth, and him had rode off from Aethelflaed's estate to get Skade back and had succeed. Finan and Osferth had also found out that Sihtric leaving had been a plan by Uhtred all along. Sihtric's news though, confirming that Aisling was not with the Danes, hurt though.
Many times, Finan swore he had felt her close, like he could turn as they rode, and he would see her beside him. It had haunted him and gave him sleepless nights.
“Daddy, where's Momma?” Aoife asked as she pulled away from Finan.
Finan placed his hand on her cheek. He did the same with Caoimhe. He rubbed his thumbs on their cheeks and smiled softly.
“Your momma is with Uncle Ragnar,” he said softly.
That was the only explanation he had. He would not tell them that Aisling had abandoned them; abandoned him. No, let them think that she was off helping their uncle.
“Will she be back soon?” Caoimhe asked.
Finan looked at her rust hair, the same shade as Aisling's. More tears came to his eyes. “I hope so,” he whispered. He leaned in and kissed them each on the forehead. “But until then, tell me what you have been up to,” he whispered.
“Aunt Hild helped us read,” Aoife said.
“She is not as fun as Uncle Os though,” Caoimhe answered.
Finan laughed. He pulled them close again. He looked up and saw Osferth walk into the room. He pulled away and kissed them each on the head again.
“Your Uncle Baby Monk is here,” he said.
Osferth made a face but it did not last long as Aoife and Caoimhe turned and ran towards Osferth. They laughed and launched themselves at him. Finan stood and smiled. He watched as Osferth crouched down and hugged the girls. Finan wiped the tears from his face. His hand shook.
He could not believe after all the promises that he had made to Aisling that they would get their daughters back, he was here with them and she wasn't. He looked at his wedding ring and looked away. He put a fake smile on his face and walked over to his daughters.
He would hold them and love them. And he would try so hard not to think about Aisling out there somewhere without him.
All you had to do was stay...
Aisling moaned as Finan's hands stroked her skin. His lips on her breasts sent pleasure washing over her. She raked her fingers through his hair. She blinked her eyes and looked down at him. He looked up and met her eyes.
“I love ya,” he whispered.
“I love you too,” she answered.
He kissed her breast. “Then why did ya leave me?” he whispered.
She frowned. “What?”
“He asked why you left him?” she heard Sigefrid asked.
She jumped up and turned. He leaned in the doorway to the room, Finan and Aisling's bedroom in Coccham, his arms were crossed on his chest and he was smiling.
“Did you miss me?” he asked.
Aisling bolted awake. She sat on her bedroll, shaking as sweat rolled down her back. She cursed and rubbed the sleep from her face. She crossed her legs under her furs and sighed.
“So much for a nice sex dream about my husband,” she muttered as she raked her hand through her hair. She had taken it out of the braids knowing it needed to be brushed again and maybe even washed.
She laid back down on the bedroll and looked at the top of her tent. She could see the first rays of sunlight coming in the sky. She heard the camp around her waking up. She closed her eyes and tried to get a couple more hours of sleep.
It was not to be though.
“Aisling,” she heard Harald say as he pushed open the flap to her tent and walked inside.
“What?” she muttered as she stayed in her bedroll with her eyes closed.
“They are on the move again,” he said. She heard him walk into her tent and let the flap fall closed. “We are packing up to leave.”
She opened her eyes and looked at him. She saw the desire in his eyes. And there was a part of her, that reckless part that had gotten her into this whole mess, that whispered to pull him into her bed and the hell with everything.
Her wedding band on her finger and Finan's face in her mind stopped her.
She loved him. She ached for him, not some other man. She wanted Finan. Finan. No one else would ever come close to him in her heart.
Ever.
She nodded. “All right, let us follow them,” she answered as she shoved the furs aside and stood. She wore her leather trousers and her shift. She felt Harald's eyes on her but did not look to meet them. “Has there been any word on Sihtric and if he is still with them?” she asked.
“No, he left. It would seem when we saw Cnut ride off, it was Uhtred's plan. The scouts heard talk in the village that he managed to recapture Skade and get away,” Harald answered.
Aisling nodded. She turned and looked at him. “Good,” she said. She grabbed her tunic and pulled it on. “That is one last thing to worry about.”
“I will go and tell the men,” Harald said. He turned to leave the tent but stopped. He turned back and looked at her. “If you do not wish to have my cock inside of you-.”
Aisling groaned. “And here I thought we could go one day without you trying to get into my pants,” she muttered as she pulled her hair out of her tunic and ran her fingers through it before quickly braiding it. Washing it and brushing it would have to wait.
Harald chuckled. “I am trying to get you out of your pants,” he said. She met his eyes. He smiled and she could feel part of her defences begin to crumble. “I just wished to remind you that I also have fingers and a mouth that can be of use to you, if you wish.”
Aisling hated how turned on she got by that. She nodded. “I will remember that,” she muttered. “Now, go and make sure everything is packed up.”
Harald nodded. “Of course,” he said as he turned and left her tent.
She finished braiding her hair and tied it. She grabbed her leather vest and pulled it on. She closed her eyes when her hands began to shake.
First you let your husband, the man who worships the ground you walk on, walk away letting him think you did not care what his opinion or thoughts were. Then it was the dreams and memories of Sigefrid haunting you. Now, you are letting Harald get way too close. What the fuck are you thinking, Aisling?
She asked herself. She shook her head and realized she had no idea what she was thinking or doing. She had been surviving on autopilot since she had saved Ragnar. She had done what she wanted and now, she had no clue what she wanted.
She knew it should be to get back to Finan. But....
She was scared. She was scared he would not want her any longer. She had hurt him. She had chosen Ragnar over him. Pushed him away.
It was probably the last straw for him.
She pushed those thoughts aside and sat on the bedroll and pulled on her boots. She had a Dane army to follow and hide from.
She did not have time to worry about her mistakes.
Or what new ones she would be making.
I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made...
“She is a traitor,” Aethelhelm said.
Finan looked up and met his eyes. “What did ya say about my wife?” he asked his voice dangerously low.
Finan was tired and drained. Alfred had died, Uhtred had been pardoned but then imprisoned. Osferth and Sihtric had barely been able to save Thyra from a bastard who tried to kill her, Aoife and Caoimhe asked every day when Aisling was coming home, and to top it all off, Finan was not sleeping at night.
Hearing Aethelhelm say, in front of Edward and Aethelred and a some aldermen, that Aisling was a traitor was the last straw for Finan. The tenuous grasp of his sanity and temper that he had threatened to finally let go.
“Lady Aisling is a traitor. She is still with the Danes. She could at this very moment be giving them important information about our army and the very walls of Winchester,” Aethelhelm pushed.
“She could be doing the same about Mercia,” Aethelred added. “She has visited my wife a few times and I fear for my wife's safety.”
“Aisling would never harm Lady Aethelflaed,” Finan said standing straight. He went to walk over to Aethelred to pound his face in but Uhtred stood there and pressed a hand to his chest. Uhtred shook his head. Finan cursed but stepped back.
“Lord king,” he said looking at Edward, “you know Aisling. She has trained with you here in this very palace with Steapa,” he said softly. “Her daughters are here within these walls. You know that she would never send a Dane army here and risk their safety.”
Edward nodded. “I do,” he said carefully. He cleared his throat and looked at Aethelhelm. “Do you have proof that Aisling with the Dane army?” he asked.
Finan crossed his arms on his chest and stared at Aethelhelm. The man looked away from him and looked at Edward.
“The fact that she is not here with her husband should be proof enough, shouldn't it?” he asked.
Uhtred pushed Finan gently when Finan's anger spiked and he wanted to lunge at the old man and beat him senseless. Finan saw Edward look away from the man as well.
“It is not proof of anything,” Edward said carefully. “Lady Aisling is with Ragnar, a man that both Uhtred and Finan trust with her safety. I believe Uhtred when he says that Lady Aisling would not come here with an army. She would never put her daughters and those she loves in danger. She is not a traitor.”
“Then why is she not here with us?” Aethelred said. “She has never missed an opportunity in the past to be part of battles or their planning. Why would she miss out on this?”
Finan turned and looked at Aethelred. “She is with her brother, Ragnar. She believed she could change his mind and it seems she has. Which is helping us in this battle.”
“Yes,” Uhtred added. “Aisling was thinking much ahead than any of you were when it came to this battle.”
“I am not surprised,” Edward said as he stood. “Lady Aisling always had a way of making us all look like fools,” he added with a smile.
Finan felt some of his worry and anger ease but not by much. He stepped back from Uhtred and watched as most of the men left the room. He turned and saw Beocca sitting on the chair watching him. Beocca stood and walked over to him. Finan heard Uhtred speaking to Edward.
“Aisling will be there are the battle,” Beocca said.
Finan snorted. “I doubt it. She is with Ragnar at Dunholm by now, no doubt planning on how she can our daughters back without seeing me.”
Beocca frowned. “Is that doubt I am hearing in your voice?” he asked.
Finan rubbed his face. He cursed and turned away. “It's acceptance,” he said softly. “Maybe this time, this is how it is meant to end for her and I. Maybe no matter how much we love each other, it does not matter because in the end, we will never be able to be happy.”
“Finan-,” Beocca started.
“Finan, we need your council,” Uhtred said.
Finan nodded. He walked away from Beocca and towards Uhtred. He was glad for the distraction of planning a battle. It meant he did not have to think about Aisling.
Thinking about her hurt too much. It hurt much more than he had hurt before.
Now that it's just too late...
Aisling wrapped her hair in the towel and dried it. She turned as the flap to her tent opened. She saw Harald standing there. She raised an eyebrow and turned away from him.
“Any news?” he asked softly.
“The Dane army has slowed a bit,” he answered.
Aisling nodded. She tossed the towel aside and grabbed her brush. “Good. We will stay here at camp and send scouts out to keep an eye on them,” she answered.
She began pulling the brush through her hair. She thought Harald would leave the tent. He didn't. He walked over to her and took the brush from her. She let him and did not turn to face him as he pulled the brush through her hair. She closed her eyes and wished it was Finan.
“You look so beautiful,” he whispered.
She sighed. “So you have said,” she muttered.
She felt his fingers brush her neck as he gathered her hair together and pulled it back as he brushed it. She felt herself lean back against him. She opened her eyes and felt him part her hair.
“I will braid it for you,” he whispered.
“I can braid it myself,” she answered.
“Please,” he almost begged.
Tears came to Aisling's eyes. She nodded. She closed her eyes again and let Harald braid her hair. She could feel that he was just doing a simple braid, nothing fancy. His fingers would brush her neck and back. She grabbed the leather tie from the bedroll in front of her and handed it to him. She felt him take it, their fingers brushing. She became aware as she looked down at her shift that it was almost see through because it had gotten wet.
“Done,” he said as he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Is there anything else you need?” he whispered in her ear.
Aisling turned her head and felt his nose nuzzle her cheek. She reached up and took one of his hands and pulled it down her body. She placed it on her stomach.
“Touch me,” she whispered.
She hated herself for it.
“Close your eyes,” Harald whispered to her as his hand ran further down. “Close your eyes and pretend that I am your husband.”
Aisling whimpered. “That is not fair to you.”
He kissed her neck as his other hand ran around and reached up. She sighed as he pressed it to her breast. “I am getting to touch you,” he whispered as his fingers ran down and began pulling at the ties to her trousers. “That is what I want.”
Aisling reached up and raked her fingers through his hair. She closed her eyes and thought about Finan. She ached for him. She moaned as she felt his fingers pull open her trousers and cup her cunt. His lips kissed and sucked on her neck as his other hand kneaded her breast and played with her nipple. She leaned against him more as she felt his fingers slide up and down her cunt playing with her wetness.
“So wet,” he whispered lowly in her ear. “So needy.”
She whimpered and grabbed his wrist with her hand. “Please,” she whispered.
She moaned as he slid one finger inside of her. She rested her head on his shoulder and squeezed his wrist. She clenched around his finger as she felt him begin to rub her clit with his thumb. He moved his hand on her breast to her other one and began kneading it and playing with her nipple. He slipped another finger inside of her and she felt him nip at her neck.
“Let go,” he whispered.
Aisling felt the pleasure pooling in her stomach. She kept her eyes closed and thought about Finan.
“So warm and inviting,” he whispered in her ear as he stroked her with his fingers. “And all mine.”
Aisling moaned and tugged on his hair. She felt his thumb press against her clit as he rubbed it. She could feel how hard his cock was against her ass and she rubbed her ass against it earning her a growl.
“Someone isn't playing fair,” he grunted as he crooked his fingers inside of her and pressed into that spot that caused fire to spread from her belly to everywhere in her body.
“I learned from you,” she huffed as she felt the coil tighten in her stomach.
She clenched around his fingers and moaned as he rubbed her clit faster and harder. She felt him thrusting his cock against her ass over and over. She wished they were wearing less clothing but this was all they had time for.
“Come for me,” Finan whispered in her ear, his accent getting deeper with want and need.
Aisling moaned and clenched around his fingers over and over wishing it was his cock. She felt the pressure break.
“Finan,” she moaned his name as she came.
Aisling blinked her eyes and cursed as she felt Harald's hand gently squeeze her breast. He thrusted against her ass again and moaned her name. She felt tears roll down her cheeks as she realized what she had done.
“Do not feel shame,” Harald whispered as he slipped his fingers from her. He pressed his hand to her lower stomach. “You needed that.”
Aisling blinked and shook her head. “My husband will never understand.”
“He does not need to know,” Harald whispered. Aisling felt him kiss her jaw. “You were still loyal to him. All you thought about was him.”
Aisling pulled away and began to redo the ties on her trousers. She felt Harald pull his hands away from her and she hated that she missed his touch. She did up her ties and turned around to face him. He cupped her face with his hands and brushed her tears away. She looked into his brown eyes. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
“Your husband is such a lucky man,” he whispered before dropping his hands from her face.
Aisling shook her head. “He would disagree. I have brought him nothing but pain,” she answered.
Harald leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I am sure that he will agree with me. No matter how much pain you have put him through,” he told her.
Aisling didn't answer. She opened her eyes and watched as Harald turned and left her tent. She sat on her bed roll, her legs weak. She pulled her knees up to her chest and sobbed into them. She looked at her hand and saw her wedding ring on her finger.
I love ya, Aisling. Ya are my dream made real. Ya are the one thing I never expected or thought I needed until ya were right in front of me. I will always love ya. Ya have my heart. Always.
Aisling grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. She sobbed and cried.
Her decision to save Ragnar seemed like the worse decision she had ever made.
People like you always want back the love they pushed aside...
Finan stood beside Sihtric. He took a deep breath and looked into the forest.
The day for battle had arrived.
His mind though, was not on the battle that was about to happen. It was back in Winchester with his daughters.
“Daddy, will you be bringing Momma home?” Aoife asked.
“I,” he swallowed his pain. “I don't know, my sweet.”
“Please, bring Momma home,” Caomihe answered as she hugged Finan tight. “I miss Momma.”
Finan hugged her. He reached out and pulled Aoife in his arms. He was holding most of what he loved close.
Only Aisling was missing.
And the hole she left in his life, echoed.
“Finan,” Sihtric said softly.
“Aye?” Finan asked snapping back to the reality in front of him.
“You need to focus on the battle,” he said.
Finan nodded. He took the Celtic cross in his hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed it. He let it fall when he heard Uhtred give the signal.
“Now,” he called out to the men.
He ran with them towards the road where the Dane army was moving. Uhtred had wanted to them to attack the middle making the army fall into chaos. Finan agreed it was a good plan.
As long as the Danes stay surprised enough to allow the Saxons to kill a lot of them.
Finan slashed and yelled as he killed men. He got separated from Sihtric and Osferth as the lines began to break down and the Danes began to gather themselves more for battle.
They recovered a tad too quickly for Finan's liking.
He killed Dane after Dane. Time seemed to still and stop. He kept swinging his sword and stabbing over and over ignoring how his arms and shoulders ached. He heard Aethelflaed and the Mercians arrive but he was focused on staying a live too much to celebrate.
After some time, he felt a tingle up his back. He killed the Dane in front of him. He swung around and swung his sword.
It clashed with Aisling's Dream-Weaver sword. Finan felt his hands shake and he wasn't sure if it was from the shock of seeing Aisling or the vibration of their swords clashing.
“Well, husband,” she said her ocean blue eyes taking him in, “is this your way of asking for a divorce?”
Finan's pants got tighter as he looked at his wife. He lowered his sword and grabbed her leather armour. He yanked her closer and kissed her deeply. He did not care about the battle around them. He kissed her over and over.
“Finan,” she said as she pulled away.
“No,” he stated. “Later,” he breathed her in.
She shoved him aside and he turned and watched as she killed a Dane. She turned and looked at him. “First, let's kill Danes,” she said.
“Aisling!” he heard a man call. He looked over and saw a tall man with dark brown hair braided and a tunic that was half opened. “You all right?” he called.
“I'm fine, Harald!” she yelled.
Finan saw the way the man, Harald's eyes stayed on Aisling. He was too far away to look deep in them, but Finan was close to enough to notice the man's eyes lingered and stayed on Aisling long after Aisling had turned away from them. Finan watched as Harald nodded at him and turned away. He felt unsettled by it.
And he was reminded of Sigefrid. And how that Dane's eyes had lingered on Aisling. How Sigefrid had looked at her before he dragged her to Beamfleot. Anger began to build and boil.
He turned and began killing the Danes again.
He had felt relief at seeing Aisling. But now, he felt all that anger and rage come flowing back to him. He let it loose on the Danes.
He did not wish for the battle to end. He feared what words he would say to Aisling.
He feared he would say something he could not take back.
But people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye...
Aisling grabbed the axe from the dead Dane and swung it killing the Dane that had been charging towards Finan. She looked around and saw that most of the Danes were running away. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw Harald standing there.
“You all right?” he asked. She looked at him and saw that he was covered in blood. As was she.
“I am fine,” she said as she patted his chest. “Go check on the rest of your men before you head back to Dunholm.”
“What? No reward from the king?” Harald teased.
“Ya will be lucky to keep ya head,” Finan said as he walked over. Aisling saw the way he looked at Harald. “Finan, Aisling's husband.”
She saw Harald smirked. “I know, I have heard a lot about you,” Harald said. “I am Harald. And I will leave you two alone.”
“Safe travels,” Aisling told him.
He smirked at her. “I do hope we meet again.”
She watched as he walked away. She turned and saw Finan eyeing her. She wiped the blood off her sword and put it in the scabbard. She stepped closer to him only for him to step back. She sighed.
“Finan,” she whispered.
He looked away from her. “I had to tell our daughters that ya were with Ragnar and I didn't know when ya would be home,” he answered. She watched him as he put his sword and seax back in their scabbard. He looked at her and the pain she saw in his eyes, it tore her apart. “They were asking for ya even when I left for battle.”
Tears came to her eyes. “I did what I had to and-.”
“All ya had to do was stay with me, Aisling,” he told her firmly. “Or let me stay by your side. Ya did neither.”
She watched as he walked away in the forest. Her own anger spiked. She stalked after him and shoved him. She saw Osferth walking towards them but Sihtric grabbed him and pulled him away. Finan turned and looked at her. She shoved him again and he grabbed her arms.
“You could never understand why I made the decision I did!” she yelled at him.
“Ya never gave me a chance to understand!” Finan yelled back at her. “Ya shut me out!”
She shoved him. “You let me shut you out!”
She felt Finan yank her close, her body was pressed up against his. He looked down at her, rage and anger in his eyes. “Do not lay this at my feet, Aisling,” he said. Her name was filled with such hurt, Aisling's knees buckled. “I tried to stay with ya, I tried to get ya to talk to me but instead ya pulled ya head in like a turtle and would not let me in. Ya hid like ya always do and I am tired of trying to pull ya out into the open.”
Aisling pulled herself away from him. She shoved him and looked at him tears in her eyes. “So, much for being there and loving me, huh?” she asked.
“No,” Finan said his own tears in his eyes. “Ya do not get to do that. Ya do not get to turn this on me. Ya were all I wanted, still want. I would burn down villages for ya, I would burn this whole land to the ground to keep ya and our daughters safe. Ya had me, Aisling, I was yours and all ya had to do was let me stand beside ya. But ya could not do that. Ya do not get to be hurt and angry here. I do.”
Aisling shook her head. “Fuck you, Finan,” she said as she turned and stalked away towards where Uhtred stood with the others, a far distance away.
“Real mature, Aisling,” Finan called after her.
She stuck up her middle finger at him and kept walking. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. And as much as she wanted to be angry and pissed at him...
She knew he was right.
He had every right to be angry. Not her.
It just hurt so much standing across from him and not being able to hold him or touch him.
This time, in order to work it out, she would actually have to talk about her feelings and she wasn't sure she could handle that.
Here you are now, calling me up, but I don't know what to say...
Finan sat on the cot in the tent and felt his whole body ache. He pulled off his boots and winced. The battle was over, they had won and most of the Danes were gone. The last time he had seen Aisling, she was speaking with Edward and Aethelflaed with that Dane Harald. That had been a couple of hours ago and Finan had made sure to avoid her since. He did not wish to be around her just yet.
That's a lie, a voice in his head echoed, the moment you saw her again, all you wanted to do was pull her into your arms and hold her tight and close. It is killing you being apart from her.
He began to pull off his armour slowly. He tossed the chainmail on a chair. He turned when he heard the flap of the tent open. He saw Aisling standing there, her red hair standing out so much in the dark of the night behind her.
“Uhtred said there are no tents to spare and suddenly Osferth and Sihtric snore,” she muttered as she walked into the tent. “I'll sleep on the floor,” she muttered.
“No, I will sleep on the floor,” he said standing.
She held up her hand. “I feel guilty enough about everything, I don't want to add throwing you out of your bed to the list,” she said softly.
Finan looked at her. He saw the bags under her eyes then and the slowness in which she moved. He frowned. He knew all the signs to tell she had not been sleeping well. He saw them now. He watched as she slowly began to pull off her armour and toss it aside. He walked over to her, now in his tunic and socks on his feet. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders. She stopped moving. He gently brushed her hair aside and began to help her pull off the thick leather tunic she wore.
“Let me help ya,” he whispered.
She nodded but did not say anything else. He helped her push off the tunic and he tossed it aside. He wrapped his arms around her waist then, and pulled her closer to him. She sighed and he felt her place her hands on his. He leaned down and nuzzled his face in her neck.
“I missed ya, Aisling,” he whispered, all the fight leaving him. He just wanted to hold her and never let her go again.
“I missed you too,” she admitted.
He held her closer. He closed his eyes and took in her scent. “The girls missed ya as well,” he answered softly. “Aoife is getting very good with her wooden sword,” he added. “Caoimhe as well.”
Aisling was quiet in his arms. He kissed her hair and opened his eyes. He let her pull away from him. She turned and faced him. He saw the tears rolling down her cheeks then. She hugged herself and met his eyes.
“I am sorry for pushing you away,” she whispered. He hated the hurt he saw in her eyes. “I really thought it was the only way to save Ragnar. I thought I was doing what was right and I should have,” she hugged herself more. “I should never have let you ride away from Dunholm without knowing that I love you, Finan. I love you so much,” she sobbed.
Finan pulled Aisling in his arms. He held her tight and let her sob into his chest. He stroked her back and played with her hair. He felt his own tears begin to fill his eyes. He held Aisling closer and felt her hands grab his tunic tight.
“I know ya do, Aisling,” he whispered. “I love ya as well,” he swallowed, “it was just so hard without ya beside me. I needed ya and ya weren't there and,” he cursed and kissed her head, “it does not matter.”
“It does,” Aisling said as she pulled away and looked up at him. “I don't want you to hide away your hurt from me, Finan. I know what I did. I can handle the fallout from it.”
“Can ya?” he asked softly. He cupped her face with his hands and brushed her tears away. “Cause I am still so hurt and so damn angry. And there is a part of me that is questioning whether we should even stay together,” he added.
He hated the hurt that flashed in his wife's eyes then. She nodded though, as if she had been expecting to hear that. She slowly pulled herself away from him again. He watched as she looked down at her wedding band. She looked up and met his eyes.
“Maybe we shouldn't,” she whispered so softly, Finan thought he misheard her. “Maybe we should go our separate ways.”
“Is that what you want?” he demanded.
“Is it what you want?” she spat back.
He looked at her, his brown eyes taking her in. He shook his head. “I just want ya, Aisling. Always have, always will,” he said softly. “But all I know right now, is that ya are the one that drove this wedge between us. I cannot fix this, ya have to.”
He saw Aisling nod. She looked away from him. “I made a mistake,” she whispered.
“I know but ya are here now and-.”
“No,” she said softly. “I made another mistake other than letting you leave Dunholm and staying behind with Ragnar,” she added. She met his eyes. “I let another man touch me,” she whispered.
Finan's world, which had been holding on to a very thin thread, crashed right there in front of him. His legs felt weak and he sat on the cot. He placed his face in his hands and stared at the bottom of the tent. He looked at Aisling when she kneeled in front of him.
“Finan?” she asked softly.
He looked at her. “It was Harald, wasn't it?” he asked softly.
She nodded. “It was just his fingers, nothing else but,” she looked away and he could see the shame on her face, “I thought of you the whole time. I ached for you, and I know it wasn't right but,” she cursed and shook her head, “there is no but. It wasn't right, I never should have done it. It's just one more thing where I put my needs in front of yours,” she whispered.
Finan looked at her. His wife, his love, his heart. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He did not know what to feel, what to say. He felt Aisling place her hands on his knees. He opened his eyes and looked at her.
He knew he should feel anger and rage at the thought of another man touching her but instead... All he felt was sadness. Sadness that they had gotten to this place, that they had ended up there. He just wanted it all back.
He wanted her back.
“I don't,” he cursed as tears fell, “I don't know what ya want me to say or do with this, Aisling,” he admitted. “Why did ya tell me?”
“Because I could not lie to you about that. You deserved the truth,” she reached up and brushed his tears away. “You are my husband, Finan, the one I made vows to,” she added. “I need to be honest with you. It's what you deserve.”
He nodded. He pressed her hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes. “Do ya care for Harald?” he asked.
“I care for him as a person, he was kind and nice to me. But as more than a friend, no, never,” she answered.
He opened his eyes and looked at her. He reached out and pulled her closer. She straddled his lap and he looked deep into her eyes. He saw the love swirling in her ocean blue depths. He reached up and brushed some loose hair that had come out of her braid. He kissed her nose and rested his forehead against hers.
“Finan?” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around him.
He ran his hands down her back and pressed her hips closer to him. He looked into her eyes. “Do ya love me?” he whispered.
Tears rolled down Aisling's cheeks. “Yes,” she whispered.
“So, ya want me, and,” he swallowed the emotion becoming too much for him, “ya don't want to leave me?”
“Finan,” she said softly. She cupped his face in her hands, “I don't want to leave you. Ever,” she said as tears rolled down her cheeks.
He closed his eyes. “But ya did,” he whispered. “Ya let me leave ya and ya,” he held her closer, “ya acted like I meant nothing to ya. Like I was no one.”
He felt Aisling press a soft kiss to his lips. “You are my everything,” she whispered, her breath hitting his lips. “You mean everything to me, Finan. You have given me the strength and the love I needed to be who I am,” she whispered softly. “Me letting you leave was me being a stupid idiot and putting my own needs and wants first,” her fingers stroked and scratched his beard. “I was being selfish and I am so sorry for it.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her. “And Harald?” he whispered.
“Another selfish mistake,” he saw her tears falling. “I don't want him,” she moved closer to him. “I want you, Finan. Only you.”
Finan pulled her closer and his lips crashed against his. He kissed her fiercely. She kissed him back the same. He ran his hands up her tunic needing to feel her skin against his.
Needing to have her again.
He yanked off her tunic and tossed it aside. He felt her do the same to his. He grabbed her and pulled her closer his hands running down her back. He moaned as her breasts pressed against his chest. He kissed along her jaw and held her tight to him. He felt her fingers rake through his hair and he nuzzled his face in her neck.
“I ached for ya, Aisling,” he whispered as he ran his hand around her side to her trousers. He began pulling on the ties. “When I finally slept, I would dream of being balls deep in ya and ya screaming my name,” he added.
She whimpered. “I dreamt of you too,” she whispered. “I needed you so much.”
He pulled away and looked at her. “So much, ya let another man touch ya.”
“Finan-.”
He cut her off by kissing her again. He didn't want to hear about how sorry she was. No, he wanted to show her that no other man would be able to make her feel like he could.
He needed to show her how completely and utterly his, she really was.
He dumped her on the cot beside him. He stood and pulled off her trousers, tossing them aside. He quickly undid his own trousers and tossed them aside. He ran his hand down and cupped Aisling's cunt in his hand. She was wet. He slid two fingers inside of her and she moaned, arching her back for him. He watched as she opened her legs for him. He stroked her thigh with his other hand.
“Did he touch ya like this?” he demanded. “Did he know how fast or slow to go for ya?”
Aisling moaned as he moved his fingers and crooked them, stroking that spot that would guarantee her the most pleasure. She looked at him with her ocean blue eyes half closed and shook her head. “No, he didn't,” she admitted.
Finan rubbed his thumb against her clit and felt how wet she was for him. He watched as she grabbed her breasts and began to play with her nipples. His cock twitched and ached to be inside of her. He had missed her warmth wrapped around him. She moaned again and Finan knew he could not wait any longer.
He pulled his fingers from her and grabbed her thighs. He pulled her closer to the edge of the cot and took his cock in hand. He placed the tip at her entrance and thrusted into her, filling her completely with one hard thrust.
“Finan,” she moaned as she grabbed his shoulders.
He stilled. He looked down at her, met her eyes with his own. He saw love in her eyes. Love, regret, hurt, and need. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers. His nose rubbed against hers. He breathed her in.
“Stay,” he whispered to her. “Promise me, ya will stay from now on, here with me,” he said as she looked into her eyes.
He saw her eyes fill with tears. “I promise to stay, Finan,” she whispered. “I swear I will be by your side. I will not leave you and push you away.”
He kissed her. He slowly pulled his cock from her and slid it back in. Slowly, so very slowly. He felt her nails dig into his shoulders and her legs wrapping around his waist. He held her hips tight and close. He ran his hands up her body and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his arms. He sat on the cot and she straddled his lap again.
He looked into her eyes and she looked into his. He held her close.
“I cannot do this without ya,” he whispered as his tears rolled down his cheeks. “I felt so empty without ya beside me. I cannot do that again. I have lost too much, Aisling. Ya were, and are, my last chance at love, my last hope and,” he paused and pressed his hands on her back, “my dream made real. Ya have me, ya always will have all of me, but I cannot have ya lock me out of your feelings and heart again,” he closed his eyes feeling the sobbing start, “I need all of ya, Aisling. I need every single part of ya heart in this with me. I need,” he stopped and started sobbing.
“Finan,” she whispered her hands cupping his face. He saw that she was crying as well. He felt her clench around his cock. “You have me. You have every single part of me. My heart, my body, my very soul is yours,” she whispered. “You made me believe in love, believe in marriage and a happily ever after with the person I loved. I am with you in this,” she pressed a kiss to his lips. “I have always been with you.”
He kissed her deeply and thrusted into her. She moved her hips against his and he kissed her over and over moaning into her mouth as she moaned into his. His hands pressed her body against his and he felt her arms wrapped around his neck and held him tight. He felt himself coming close. He thrusted up into her harder and faster and she met his thrusts as she raked her fingers through his hair.
“I fucking love ya,” he told her his feelings evident in his voice. It was deep and full of need and want. For her.
Only for her.
She was his dream made real. It killed him that another man had touched what was his, but she was there, in his lap, on his cock.
In the end, she had chosen him, showing that she was his as much as he was hers. And he knew, he was completely and utterly hers.
His heart beat for her and only her.
“Finan,” she moaned as she reached between them and began to rub her clit. He kissed along her jaw to her neck. He bit her pulse point and she moaned. “Fuck,” she moaned as she fell over the edge into pleasure.
He felt her clench hard around his cock. He thrusted into her again and again and again. He came and held her tight and closer to him. He stayed buried deep inside of her. He felt her place soft kisses on his cheeks, kissing away his tears. He ran his hands up her back and tangled them in her hair.
“Don't leave me,” he whispered softly.
“Shh,” she soothed him. “Never, Finan, I am never leaving you.”
He nuzzled his face in her neck and held her close as he cried. He ached to believe her.
He wasn't sure he did.
You were all I wanted
But not like this
Not like this
Not like this
Oh, all you had to do was-
Hey, all you had to do was stay
Cruel Summer
damn seasons part 1
pairing modern!Eadith x ofc
summary This could be a sweet friends to lovers story, if only the summer wasn't so cruel.
warnings angst/fluff, slight mention of aggression, implied smut/suggestive
word count 5.4k
a/n i used some stefanie's pics on the moodboard where she is blonde, but eadith still being a redhair right. this story takes place in no specific country or city. also, there's no blood feud between families in this, kjartan is tove and sihtric's father but he does not take place in the story, they actually live with their mom and stepdad, its not important at all, just the backstory i had created.
Eadith is her best friend. Tove have met her when she was 15, Eadith has just moved into her town and she started to study with her brother, Sihtric, and his band of friends, who are also Tove's friends despite being 2 years older than her. It was naturally, the boys —that includes Aethelflaed, 'there is nothing ladylike in the way she throws a punch' as Uhtred says — brought her to their circle of friends and as she was closer in age with Tove, their friendship just happened.
Since the first day it has been them, Sihtric, her big brother, is friend with Uhtred and Finan since they were babies, and when Tove was born, the boys were enchanted with their little princess — as Sihtric said, and later swore they will always protect her at all costs. The years went by and nothing changed, it was Sihtric, Finan, Uhtred and Tove, the princess in danger who they, the fearless warriors, need to rescue, as they always play. Until new faces were showing up, Aethelflaed, and her half-brother, Osferth joined the band when they were about 11, 10 years old. They were inseparable, and their families being close contributed to it.
When she first met Eadith, Tove felt something different about her, but she couldn't know what, so she let it go, she kept to herself this unfamiliar feeling everytime she was on Eadith's presence, in order to forget about it. Until her second year at uni.
Tove was studying ASNC - anglo-saxon, norse and celtic -, a subject she was always interested as her family has a big norse inheritance, and because of that she planned to do her master program in Denmark. In some way Tove could handle the studying life with their nights out, at a pub, a club or a party.
It was at one of those parties that everything happened. Tove was way too drunk, trying to find her way to a bathroom and she found one at upstairs of the house. What she didn't know was that Eadith was following her, trying to look after her, so when she opened to go out and found Eadith leaning on the doorway, waiting for her, Tove couldn't contain her surprise.
— Eadith! Hey, what you're doing here? — Tove asked leaning on the doorway as well.
— Tonight is my turn to keep an eye on you. — Eadith said, with a playfull tone, but she was serious. They all have this kind of agreement that at least one of them won't get too drunk for emergencies, it's their way to look after each other.
— I'm not even that drunk! — Tove's voice was disagreeing with her. — You can go and have some fun.
— I am not on the mood for party at all, I'm good here.
With a courage coming from nowhere - all the alcohol she consumed - she came closer to Eadith. — Well, then let's have some fun the two of us.
Before Eadith could say anything, Tove's lips were crashing hers. At first she didn't stop, because she's been wanting this for so long and Tove's soft lips against hers was definitely the kind of fun she was needing. But then she remembered Tove was drunk and broke the kiss.
— Okay, lady, I think it is time for you to go home, come. — Eadith said, still close to her, fixing her hair.
Tove didn't protested and Eadith took her to Sihtric, and they both agree to go home and left the party.
When the next day came up, it was like nothing had happened. Eadith didn't touch the topic and Tove didn't remember, yet. It took her a day or two to realise that it wasn't a dream, - c'mon, she had dreamt of this too many times to realise it had truly happened - she had kissed Eadith. And she wanted to do again.
However, she couldn't. Eadith is her best friend, she couldn't risk ending up their friendship for something silly like this. So she let it go, again.
The realization came several months later. Tove was one month away from finishing her degree and started to organize her life to her Master program. She and Eadith still being friends and very closer, Eadith thinking that she forgot about what happened that night, and Tove pretending she actually forgot.
One day Tove was walking on campus towards the library when she saw Eadith talking with a guy, he was obviously flirting with her and she was smiling to him. Tove got angry, she rushed to the library, and let the tears fall silenty. She didn't like this feeling, she didn't like what this feeling means. So she masked it as stress coming from the exams.
Tove was miserable for days, and everyone noticed, including Eadith, but she got nothing from her.
Sihtric started to get worried about his little sister, he knew something was hurting her. It was a normal thursday, Sihtric was at home, so he found it strange when Tove showed up at noon when she was supposed to be in her lecture.
As soon as she arrived home, Tove rushed to her bedroom and lock herself there. Of course Sihtric followed her.
— Tove, open the door, talk to me. — he asked at the door, for the third time.
— I don't want to talk, Sihtric, leave. — she said and he could notice by her voice that she was crying.
— C'mon, at least let me be with you, you don't need to say anything now.
No answer came immediately, but after some time he could hear that she unlocked the door. When he enters in her bedroom, she's already back at her bed and he lays down besides her, giving her a tight hug and she cried more.
— You say you're fine, but I know it isn't true. Don't tell me it's the exams, I know there's something more. You don't need to tell me anything, just don't lie. — Sihtric gives her a kiss on her temple — But if someone did anything to you, that you need to tell me. — he said on his protective brother tone.
Tove let out a little laugh. She has the best brother in the world.
— It's Eadith. — she says after she calmed down — She's going out with that guy.
— And what's the problem?
— The problem is that I love her! — she exclaimed — Not like you do, I love her.
Sihtric didn't know what to say, he only knew that advising her to talk about it with Eadith wouldn't happen. Tove is a stubborn bastard, just like him.
He just said to her that if it's meant to be, it'll be. Sooner or later. And Tove cried at that, 'cause she know it won't.
Her final exams have passed, as Eadith's and Osferth's. —The three of them were the only ones that still at uni, as the others had graduated a year before.— And that was a reason to party, they said.
So there is Tove, at a friday night getting ready to go to some club they chose. She picked out a little black dress, one of the milions she has and was finishing her makeup when Sihtric knocked on her door.
— Are you ready to go?
— Yep — she answered after applying her lipstick. — You’re lucky I'm on the mood for party tonight, or I'd make it the worst night ever.
— You don't think I know? That's why I suggested we'd go tonight, I see you're in a good mood.
— So we should stop wasting time and go.
Well, she was on a good mood, really. But not anymore.
Tove was all happy and excited, and suddenly her feelings got all blue after Eadith arrived with Bresal, the guy she is going out with. It made her blood boil seeing him holding Eadith's hand, it should be her instead.
Sihtric looked at her, worried, as Eadith started to introduce Bresal to the others, he saw Tove giving her best to look strong as she greeted them, and as soon as they turned their back, he saw how she ran away.
He waited a few minutes to go after Tove, trying to keep up appearances, he saw that some of them noticed Tove vanishing but no one said nothing. Sihtric soon found her at the bar, asking for another drink.
— Tove, we can go home if you want, you don't need to stay. — he tried, approaching her.
— And you don't need to leave just because I'm in this pathetic situation. — she finally says after a moment in silence.
— I won't leave you alone, you're my little sister, I'll ne-
— I'm leaving! — she cuts him.
— What? When? To where?
Before saying anything else, Tove led Sihtric to a more quiet place, so they could talk.
— I wasn't planning to tell you this now, but I was accepted into a master program in Denmark, and I don't know yet when I'm leaving. — she cuts Sihtric again as he tried to say something — Please, don't tell anyone yet.
— It's okay, it isn't my place to tell 'em. And I'll support you in anything you choose. — Sihtric hugs tightly — I'm gonna miss you, you know it, right?
— Of course you will, — she laughs as he pinched her side. — I'm gonna miss you too, but now let's go back before they noticed and before I start to cry.
They came back and acted like nothing had happened, just like the ones who noticed something was wrong. Tove tried not to think so much about anything at all, they went out to club and have a great time, so she will try to do so.
She gave her best trying to keep in the partying mood, but at the moment she left the bar and entered the cab to go home, Tove couldn't hold her tears anymore.
The next weeks was a complete mess, Tove's time was consumed by things related to her master program, she had to plan her moving, check her documents and so many more. Fortunately she had her family to help her, as they're the only ones who knows she is moving. She had planned leaving in the middle of summer, but she had to change her plans due to her friends announcement after her graduation ceremony, that they're travelling this summer to the beach. And this isn't the kind of event she can refuse to go.
So she got her things packed, both for their trip and for her moving, and just as she finished, Tove heard the bell ring. She wasn't expecting no one to show up, so she was really surprised to see Eadith at the other side of the door, and even more to see the tears in her eyes.
— Oh! Eadith, what happened? — Tove asked worried, and before she could get some answer Eadith throw herself in Tove's arms. And Tove could never deny a safe place to her.
She could feel Eadith grabing her shirt to keep her closer, and the absence of an answer made her even more worried, if it was possible.
— Hey, love, it's alright, — Tove whispered while caressing her hair, trying to make her calm. — Please, come in so you can tell me what happened.
Eadith noded and stepped back to follow Tove into her house. She led her to the couch and brought her to sit close to her. Eadith didn't say nothing on the first moment, but after a time playing with Tove's wristband, she started,
— I, I had an argument with Bresal, — Tove could feel her blood boil by only hearing his name — He got too hostile over me, and.. and he bruised me.
She motions to her wrist and Tove could see the bruise there, she had to control herself to not scare Eadith with the anger she's feeling now.
— I didn't know what do or where to go, I could only think of you so I came here.
— Eadith, you're ok now, right? I'm glad you came to me, you will always find a safe place with me, you know it? — Tove only felt Eadith noded while hugging her. — I swear if I see that turd he'll regret everything he has done in his life. No one dares to raise a finger to my pumpkin.
Eadith laughed at the silly nickname Tove had gave her years ago, when they met. —Your hair reminds me of pumpkin pies, so it's fair for you to be my pumpkin. — she said.
Tove felt relieved to achieve her goal, Eadith now is more calm and hearing that laugh made her heart warm. She could spend a lifetime hearing that laugh, seeing her girl happy makes her the happiest person. Her girl. Stop it, you fool, she's not your girl. Tove thought and regretted at the same moment.
Eadith got way more calm after spending some time with Tove, so she insisted to her to stay for the night. Eadith couldn't say no.
And when Sihtric went to talk with his sister after arriving at home and found the two cuddling while Eadith was already asleep, he didn't say anything, just smiled at Tove.
On the next day, they were all meeting to head to the airport, Tove and Osferth checking everyones documents and necessary items, as they always do before their trips, when they saw that turd, Bresal, passing by with a black eye and Eadith could only see a glimpse of a smirk on Tove's face while she continues to do her things, pretending she didn't see it.
The flight wasn't so long, and soon they arrived at their destination. The house they're staying was beautiful, close to the beach, it was perfect, except for having only a few rooms so they will all share. It wasn't a problem at all, Uhtred and Sihtric with their girlfriends got a room each, Finan and Osferth was sharing another, Tove and Eadith would also share the room and Aethelflaed was the only one to get a room only for herself. — I rented the house, so I get the room for myself. — she said.
It was okay for Tove to share a room with Eadith, nothing that they haven't done before. The real problem was that the room have just one bed. So Tove will have to share a bed with Eadith for three weeks, and she doesn't know how strong she can be, having to sleep so close to the woman she aches for. It will be a cruel summer with her.
The first nights were a bit awkward, but no one said nothing until they got used to it. A couple days have passed since they arrived, they had spent most of their days at the beach, and wandering around the small city they're staying at. Now it's evening and her friends are getting ready to go out for dinner, Tove have already decided she wasn't going with them tonight, and someone have asked her to check if Eadith is going with them.
So that's what Tove was going to do when she entered their room at the same time Eadith was leaving the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, looking for her clothes. Tove's mind was getting far from what she was supposed to do it, she could only think how she wanted to touch her pale skin, and trace her fingers the same path as water drops. She was so lost in her own mind that she didn't noticed Eadith calling her.
— Tove, everything's alright?
— Oh, yeah yeah, — she could feel her cheeks getting warm after being caught — I just came to ask if you're going out for dinner or if you're gonna stay?
— I'm gonna skip it today, I need to get a rest, 'm still too tired from the beach.
If I could do everything that I want, the last thing you would get is a rest. Tove thought. Gods, I need to stop thinking about this.
She only nodded and left, heading downstairs to tell her friends they're staying. After getting herself a quick snack, Tove went back to her room and found Eadith brushing her hair.
— Oh god, you scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here? — she asked exasperated, making Tove let out a laugh.
— I'm sorry, bae. — Tove got closer and left a kiss on the top of her head, — I didn't want to go out neither. — she said while looking for some comfortable clothes to sleep.
After a while, they were both lying in bed, Tove was trying to read but couldn't focus on other thing than Eadith turning from side to side. She left her book at the bedside table before turning to Eadith.
— Can't sleep?
— No. — she pouted her lips and Tove couldn't think of anything cuter than this.
— Come here, then. — Tove opened her arms and Eadith accepted her embrace. She felt her body tensed but as she started caressing her hair, she could felt Eadith's body relaxing.
The silence remained for a while, Tove thinking that Eadith had already slept but suddenly felt her body tensing again.
— Tove? — she asked with a low, muffled voice, as her face was pressed against Tove's neck, which made her feel shivers.
— Hmm, yeah?
— Do you remember that last party at Erik's? — now it's time for Tove's body tenses.
— I, I.. Yes, I remember.. Wh-what about?
— When you.. when you kissed me, — she moved to look at Tove's eyes. — Did you really meant to do that, or.. you were just drunk acting?
— Eadith...
— No, tell me, I need to know Tove, please.
Tove hesitated a bit before answering, — I did mean to do it.
— Then why did you pretend you didn't remember? — Eadith frowned her eyebrows.
— 'Cause.. I wanted to do it again! It was easier to pretend I didn't remember and didn't want to do it again. It was easier to try to forget than bring this up and ruin our friend-
Her words were cut off by Eadith's lips crashing against hers. Tove was too surprised to react at first, but she didn't miss a second after realizing what was happening. She had Eadith's lips against her owns again. And this time was better than the first.
Tove didn't waste more time, guiding her hands through Eadith's body until it reaches her waist, pulling her even closer. She let out a soft moan when Eadith pulled her hair, making her smile against Tove's lips, happy to cause that reaction on her.
Tove's hands found the way under Eadith's shirt, the contrast between her cold fingers and the warm skin made the ginger gasp, which opened the way for her tongue between Eadith's lips, deepening the kiss even more. Tove could die on her lips and she wouldn't care, she desire this for so long.
She grasps all flesh she can reach, not wanting to let it go, she wants to live this forever, nothing seems to be enough. She can't get enough of Eadith. It was all so new, the shape of her body. Making out with a woman it was definitely better than she imagined. She needs to have her at least once in her lifetime, before she goes.
— Love, you don't need to rush, we have the whole summer, hmm. — Eadith says after breaking the kiss, her fingers now caressing Tove's face.
And Tove didn't have the courage to tell Eadith they didn't. She didn't have the courage to end what had started now.
So she just muttered in agree, letting go.
The next day, Tove is awakened by the sunlight hitting her face, making her grumble. She misses the feeling of Eadith's body pressed against hers so she quickly get up, which cause Eadith to laugh from the other side of the room.
— Calm down, love, I didn't go anywhere, — she says climbing one the bed coming closer to Tove, giving her a soft kiss. — Good morning. — she whisper to her, putting her hair behind her ear.
Tove turns her face to kiss Eadith's hand, — Morning.. — she muttered against her palm. — I missed you next to me, it was sooo comfortable. — Tove's voice was a bit hoarse from the sleep, and that made Eadith feel something, definitely.
— I wish we could stay like this but you need to get up, Finan came to say we're going to another beach today, which is far so we need to leave earlier.
— Just more five minutes, please.. — she asks, snuggling in Eadith.
— It's tempting, you know, but we really need to get ready. — she says and leaves the bed again. — And if you don't get up, you won't be sleeping with me tonight.
It was comical the way Tove got up so quickly.
They didn't tell anyone what was happening between them. They use to be this close since always, so it wasn't awkward to see Tove and Eadith holding hands, cuddling, living in their own world. But Sihtric noticed it was something more, and he was sure something was happening when he saw the love bites. And Sihtric knows his sister well enough to know she didn't said anything about leaving.
One night they were all at the house deck, chatting, drinking, playing some card games until it was very late and one by one started to retire to their rooms, only lefting Eadith, Tove and Sihtric. The ginger one whispered to Tove she'll be waiting her and said good night to Sihtric before leaving. Tove blew a kiss to her and was smiling at the direction she went, until she heard Sihtric calling her.
— So, what's up between you two?
— Hm, what d'you mean?
— C'mon, I'm not blind, are you two finally together? How did that happened?
Tove sighed, knowing she couldn't hide anything from her brother even if she tried.
— It just happened. We didn't talk about what we are, we just enjoying each other, it's summer after all.
— So, you did tell her you're leaving, right?
— I didn't..
— Tove, you- — Sihtric started but Tove cut him off.
— Don't say it, I know I'm being stupid, but I can't tell her, I cannot not have this with her, at least for now. — Sihtric was trying to say something, and Tove didn't let him. — I'm a coward, I know and I don't need you saying this and how wrong I am. — Tove didn't noticed the tears coming to her eyes and starting to fall. — I just.. I have longed this so much, I need to have this with her even if it's going to end soon, but I can't leave without it.
Sihtric came closer and held her, wiping her tears. He waited until she calm down to say something.
— I won't say what you want to hear, because I care for you and I want you to do the right thing. And I also care for Eadith, so I can't let you carry on with this and not tell you to talk with her. I know you won't gave up moving, it's your dream after all, and she would never ask you to do so. So please, tell her, I know she will understand. Tell her before it's too late and you hurt both of you.
Tove didn't tell her.
She couldn't tell her when she entered the room and saw Eadith in a tiny purple matching underwear, waiting for her in their bed.
The only things to leave Tove's lips that night was praisings and soft moans.
She was longing for Eadith, but she wasn't rough on her. Tove loved her on the most pure and passionate way, lustful though. She needed to let Eadith know how much she loves her through her acts.
Every single touch, kiss, bite, was full of Tove's passion for her. Tove could only hope Eadith would get it everytime Tove looks up grinning like a devil after bringing her to the edge, she hoped Eadith would get how much she worshiped her.
Time just flew by and the last week came. They're a few days away from going home so Tove decided to spend more time with Eadith alone. The redhead was almost sleeping after returning from the beach when Tove called her, telling to get ready.
Half an hour later, they're finally arriving at their destination.
— It's a date then, uh? — Eadith said after many times trying to know where they're going.
— Oh, shut up! — Tove said playfully, intertwining their hands again to lead her on the rocky way.
— It's so cliche of you taking me to a date on a secret place, you know that, right?
Tove stopped and turned back to her, her hands now cupping Eadith cheeks, which turned red after Tove looks at her with such intensity, she leaned on her, their lips now brushing against each other. — I know.. — she whispered and gave in, kissing Eadith deep. Tove will miss that so much.
They only broke the kiss when breathing was needed, the two girls panting heavily after an intense kiss. If Eadith's cheeks were already red, now they're even more.
It was only then that Eadith noticed where Tove had take her. They were at a viewpoint at the rocks of the beach, the sun was now setting and they had a privilege view of it, which made the place even prettier. But still, for Tove, the most beautiful thing to see there is Eadith. Her hair and skin were glowing against the sunlight, her eyes shining, completly enchanted by the view, and Tove completely enchanted by her.
— I found it earlier this morning when I went out, I thought you'd like to see. — Tove said only loud enough for Eadith to hear, not wanting to break the atmosphere.
— Oh, I loved it, It's so pretty. — Eadith answered, still focused on the view.
— Yes, so pretty... — Tove let out a little laugh, taking Eadith's hand in hers again, bringing it to her lips and leaving soft kisses all over it.
Tove led her to a bench there, bringing Eadith to sat on her lap, rounding her waist and resting on the crook of her neck. They just sat there for a moment, the quietness only being broke by the sound of the waves and the gasps and soft moans as they kiss. After breaking the kiss, they just stayed there in silence, their foreheads resting against each other, their breaths becoming just one.
— Tove, I think I- — The brunette shut her up by kissing her. She knew what Eadith was about to say, and she couldn't let her do it.
— There's no need of words, babe. — she whispered and Eadith just nodded and kissed her again.
Tove wish she could say it, and hear Eadith saying it, but she just couldn't. Not when she's about to leave.
When the day came, Tove gave her best to hold the tears when she look at their room and the beach for the last time. She was too quiet on the way to the airport and Eadith noticed it, and tried to cheer her up, — The summer is not over yet. — she said. But it is over to Tove, the moment she gets off that plane it is over.
While in the flight back to home, Tove decided to enjoy these last hours with Eadith, with too many kisses and sweet words, which made Finan change seats with Osferth, saying he couldn't stand one more minute with 'these two love birds', making them laugh.
And too soon, the time has come. As soon as they landed, they took their baggages and headed to the arrival gate to meet Ragnar and Brida, who were to be their ride to home, but they were all surprised when they met not only Ragnar and Brida, but also Tove and Sihtric's parents.
They all greeted each other and was talking about how the flight was, until Aethelflaed noticed the amount of baggage next to Tove's parents.
— Wait, are you going to travel again? — she asked looking between Tove and Sihtric.
— No, not them. I am, actually. — Tove answered starting to feeling nervous.
— What? To where? — Finan asked confused.
Tove could feel her hands shaking before she answer. — A University in Denmark accepted me in a master program, so.. I'm moving.
— Why you didn't tell us such good news? — It was time for Osferth to ask and he came to give her a hug, congratulating her.
— Yeah, and why didn't you tell us you were going today? — Uhtred questioned.
— I didn't want to ruin the trip mood making it a farewell trip. I know you will miss me, but don't worry, I'll be back and you won't even notice I was gone. — Everyone laughed at her coment and they all started to say goodbye, wishing her good luck on this new journey.
The only one who didn't make a move was Eadith, she was still shocked at the news, not even knowing how to act. She waited everyone talk with Tove before approaching her.
— Tove, hmm, can we talk? In private? — she asked with a low voice, uncertain of what to say.
— Oh.. Sure, yeah, let's.. Let's get a coffee. — Tove felt like she was freaking out. She was regretting so much not telling her she was leaving.
When they left, Tove could feel the gaze of all her friends, the atmosphere was now heavy and they sensed it.
They went to one of the millions cafeterias at the airport, Tove got a black coffee for her and Eadith's favourite tea before they went to a table.
Tove was about to say something when Eadith started, — So that's it, you're leaving?
— I have to.
— After all these weeks, you didn't think about telling me that it would be over as soon as we came back?
— Look, Eadith- — Tove's words were cut off by Eadith.
— No, after all these nights we spent together and now you're just leaving? Did I mean nothing to you? Did that night mean nothing to you? I gave myself to you and now what?
— Babe, please, hear me. — Tove took Eadith's hands in hers but she pulled it back.
— Don't call me that.. — Tove's heart broke even more after hearing that, she could feel how Eadith was broken because of her.
— I'm sorry, I know I should have told you, look, I tried to but I couldn't. You mean everything to me, every night we spent together mean everything to me. But I just couldn't leave without knowing what it is to be with you. I know I'm stupid and a coward, I swear I know, — Tove had to stop to breath and she noticed the tears were falling down her face, — Believe me, I hate myself for hurting you, but after having a glimpse of what it is to be with you, I couldn't stop, 'cause I'm so fucking in love with you that I wouldn't stand leave without have even kissed you again.
— I was afraid of telling you because I was afraid of loosing you. I need to go but I also need you, and this isn't the kind of thing I can choose between. Now I see I chose the worst way to go and not only lose you, I hurt you, so I'm sorry.
— I would never ask you to leave your dreams behind, Tove, you know that. I wouldn't want to choose me over your dream, you didn't need to choose between one or another, you could have it all. — She got up from her seat and approached Tove. — But I'm afraid you can't have it anymore. Farewell, love, enjoy your time there, I know you'll do your best. — Eadith left a last kiss on her forehead before she walked away.
And Tove? She stayed there for a while, tears still falling, too many eyes on her, before she decided it was time to go. So she left, she said goodbye to her friends and family one more time and boarded to Denmark.
TOP 5 BOOKS AS VOTED BY MY FOLLOWERS:
↳ #3: Six of Crows by leigh bardugo
SEEING RED
Malec angst requested by Anon
I have a really hard time writing TSC angst hahah feel like these babies have been through enough 😭
so this could quite possibly be terrible....but I hope you like it! 🙈
Read Part 2 here
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Tag list : @tiberiussblackthrn
(let me know if you would like to be added)
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“Aren’t you going to say something?” Alec asks, throwing his arms out in exasperation.
“And what would you like me to say, Alexander?” Magnus retorts.
“Something! Anything! You haven’t said a word this whole time! You’ve just been, you’re just—“ Alec bites his tongue before the word gets passed his lips. Maybe he’s overreacting. It wouldn’t be the first time. He knows Magnus. He knows his calm demeanor is never an indicator of his feelings. Magnus is always calm. He rarely loses his temper. It’s one of the many things Alec admires about him, but not this time. This time, Alec watches Magnus lounge casually on the sofa sipping tea he summoned when they arrived, and he wants to scream.
“There’s nothing left to say. You already explained yourself, we took care of everything” Magnus says talking another long sip of tea and it takes everything in Alec not to rip the cup from his hands and throw it at the window. But he just stands and stares, clenching and unclenching his fists. Grow up. He tells himself, but it falls on deaf ears. He’s seeing red and he just wants to know if Magnus is feeling anything.
How can you say that? Why are you saying that? There’s so much you want to say. I saw it on your face the second you found us. But you said nothing. I need you to say something. Please. Anything. Scream at me. Tell me you’re angry with me. Tell me I was reckless. Tell me it scared you. I need to know. I need to hear it.
Alec watches as Magnus’ eyes scan him, carding through him, and reading him like a neon billboard sign. He wonders what that’s like. There are moments where he can look at Magnus and he sees through all the walls he’s built up. He can see the broken shards that have been put back together century after century, like beautiful stained glass. Then there are moments like this, where Alec looks at Magnus and it’s like staring into a void. This is when the centuries between them weigh the hardest on Alecs shoulders.
Magnus let’s out a small sigh and sets the cup of tea down on the coffee table in front of him. “Listen, it’s been a long night, we’re both tired, why don’t we head to bed and we can—“
“No!” Alec shouts and Magnus’ eyes go wide. For a moment, Alec wants to apologize, tell Magnus he’s right, and just go to bed. But then he watches Magnus’ shoulders sag and hears another sigh as he stands, and it ignites the frustration in Alec all over again.
“I’m not sure what you’re looking for, Alexander” Magnus says as he walks into the kitchen, dumping the rest of his tea in the sink.
Magnus rarely does things the mundane way, and Alec doesn’t miss the way his hand twitches at his side. A clear indication that he’s not as calm as he’s pretending to be. And Alec wants nothing more than to smooth out the crease in his brow, but he can’t bring himself to stop. He tries to steady his voice to match Magnus’ tone.
“You really have nothing to say?” he asks.
Magnus stares at him for a moment, leaning his hip against the counter. “What is there to say? This isn’t the first time I’ve found you on the brink of death and it won’t be the last. You’re a soldier and as you yourself have told me, ‘this is what you do’ I’ve known that from the beginning. I’ve seen your self-sacrificing nature first- hand Alexander. So forgive me if I’m just unsure of what more there is to say about it.”
Alec isn’t entirely sure himself. He knows he made a stupid decision tonight. He knows he was in over his head. And he knows what Magnus is saying, but all he can hear is “I’ve already accepted your inevitable death.”
Magnus sighs again and rakes his hand through his hair, removing the gel and letting the strands flop across his forehead. “I’m going to bed,” his voice quiet and defeated. “You should get some rest too.”
But Alec barely hears it. He’s already turned his back to Magnus, making his way back into the sitting area. He grabs his bow and quiver off the floor and stalks towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Magnus calls out after him, there’s an edge to his voice, but Alec ignores it.
“The Institute,” he says, pulling the door open. “Don’t wait up.” he shuts the door behind him, but not before he hears the broken whisper of his name behind him that shatters his heart.
A massive thank you to everyone who participated in my challenge. I have loved every single one of your creations and I’m so honoured to have such talented friends. If you haven’t posted your entry yet don’t worry, please take your time. Post when you are ready and I’ll add you to the list. 💜💜💜
Ems500 Challenge Master List:
Say You’ll Remember Me (Finan x OC) by @morosemagick
Long Live All The Mountains We Moved (Aldhelm) by @persephones-journey
Soon You’ll Get Better (Uhtred x Aethelflaed) by @princess--of--the--dragonstone
Brida - Lover cover by @axe-does-writing
New Beginnings (Sihtric x Reader) by @geekandbooknerd
You are the best thing, that’s ever been mine (Sihtric x OC) by @persephones-journey
Begin Again (Osferth x Reader, Finan x Reader, Finan x Ingrith) by @geekandbooknerd
Death by a thousand cuts (Aethelstan x Ingilmundr) by @princess--of--the--dragonstone
It only hurts this much right now, what was I thinking the whole time? (Aethelstan) by @persephones-journey
Right Where You Left Me (Uhtred x Aethelflaed) by @persephones-journey
To Exile Above All (Aethelstan & Aedgyth) by @volvaaslaug
Fall From Grace (Osferth x Reader) by @itbmojojoejo
Vigilante Shit (Eadith & Aethelflaed) by @princess--of--the--dragonstone
It Dies, and It Dies, and It Dies, a Million Little Times (Finan x OC) by @persephones-journey
He Was Long Gone, When He Met Me (Rognvaldr x OC) by @persephones-journey
Uhtred x Aethelflaed by @lonnson
Have my back, yeah, everyday (Coccham squad) by @persephones-journey
Nothing Lasts Forever (Finan x OC) by @persephones-journey
This Is Me Trying (Aelfwynn) by @princess--of--the--dragonstone
I was enchanted to meet you (Osferth x Reader) by @halfmylife
The Moment I Knew (Aethelstan x Ingilmundr) by @magravenwrites
You were all I wanted, but not like this (Finan x OC) by @persephones-journey