#endlesswriting

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imma ramble a bit, because seeing the trans comic i reblogged just now made me think of something

i've sorta always wanted my sides of my hair to be shaved. i don't excatly know what's it called but i will describe it the best i can. just the sides of my head and the back shaved, so that when i tie my hair up you can see my head shaved except for the ponytail, but when i put my heair down it covers the shaved parts. that sorta thing. it doesn't sound very clear but i tried lol

just that one tiktok i saw of that one person who had that kind of haircut looking very androgynous, and i wanted that

but i dont think i will ever have that for some time. mostly for dance reasons, since i have to tie my hair into a bun for exams and recitals, also i am very scared of asking my dance teacher if i could have my hair cut like that lol, and idt my hair being cut like how i wanted it will allow it to be in a bun.

and also im scared. im scared that it wouldn't look good on me. that i would hate it. maybe this feeling is just something i would get over soon

but i feel that i would like it. i want that. i want to look in a mirror and say, hey that's me right there, i look good, and that's me.

not to say i dont look good now, i look okay, but i feel i would be happier if i just made that change to my hair.

but doubt i suppose, and dance. goddammit i wish i could character customize myself like in games.

something like this i suppose haha

i feel like i would be happy like that

also shaved hair just feels nice, and some days i have the urge to chop of all my hair because it's so annoying

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yehyehyehyeheyeheyhe

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GENERATION LOSS SPOILERS (for the new update)

don't read if you don't wanna be spoiled

just my own experience and rambling with it, i fuckin love interactive videos like that one, and it was honestly kinda difficult to choose one since my brain doesn't go immediately to one instinctively, but i tried lol

i made it till the "are you alone' part, since i wasn't alone i said no and it led me to the 'input no longer viable' which ouch :(

i did try to go back and do all of the pathways, which wasn't many which was kinda nice, and when i said yes to the 'are you alone' part it said congrats and so one and said to 'Don't look away', upon then showing the gen loss sign. interesting.

my theory is that this cult (?) is trying to recruit members based on the questions we answered and then brainwash them using the gen loss sign??? i dunno im not that smart lmao

but when we do get it wrong it said that 'you weren't supposed to get it wrong'. makes me feel like we were supposed to be born this way, or like brainwashed/experimented and the fact we got it wrong kinda breaks the system idkidk

but i do have some things to note

when you say no to the 'are you alone' part it zooms out of the gen loss t.v., anf there are words on top of the t.v. that don't appear in others that says 'you were never alone' (according to comments) interesting since we are supposed to be alone (wth man stop spying on us :( )

the '?' video's backgrounf noise, it sounds like the person that is tied up to the chair after you choose the 'life or death' question correctly as it asks 'you or them'

'your failures have not forgotten'. now what is that supposed to mean? it's usually 'your failures will not be forgotten' right? maybe it means the same thing but i dont have a clear explanation for it either

I never really theorise a lot, analog horror or otherwise because dear god i can't stretch my brain like that sometimes, so i would just wait for others to share their theory, but just wanted to share my messy thoughts

i prob sound like an idiot but yes yes im very excited for this one they did a really awesome job :))))

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trains

hate it when there is 10 million people on it

awesome when you're the only one on it and it's silent but not really and the trains is just going on and on with no stop in sight and i imagine that i'm a character in a horror movie about to meet my killer doppelganger and learn the truths about the universe and epicly fight them as blood decorates the walls of the train

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currently can't write for shit so writing ideas dumping erofrekdfjn2re

i've imagined a character who is a merling and like a cliche little mermaid fairytale they find a person with wings drowning in the water. the merling saves this bird person drowing. but the bird person is dead. the merling impulsively resurrects the bird brain drowned but in exchange the bird person becomes a merling and the merling becomes a bird.

the bird that now is a merling wakes up and gets reasonably mad at the merling who is now a bird. and then thier relationship develops idk lol. romance and that jazzy shit i suppoze.