#epilepsy letters

[numbepilepticlife]

Dear Epilepsy,

Sometimes it’s too dangerous for me to walk, but I don’t want to get a wheelchair. I feel like I’m somehow faking if I get one, even though it would keep me significantly safer than just walking.

My family can’t always catch me when I fall, and it’s not their fault. It shouldn’t be their job to do so anyway.

I know it’s something I need to think about, but I still feel like I’m ‘faking’ because I can walk.

Sincerely,

I’m too young and anxious to think about this shit.

[numbepilepticlife]

Dear Epilepsy,

I first met you when I was 5, and you hung around for a long time but I haven't seen you in seven years. Even though we've been apart for so long, I can still feel the effects of what you did to me. Every day I have to deal with the shitty things I did because my medication made me unable to control my impulses. I still worry about what would happen if I had a seizure while on stage during concerts, or while standing on high up areas.

I still think about how you took away my childhood, which was supposed to be fun. I still think about how because of you I became a medication guinea pig, as I was out on pills meant for adults to see if we could find something that works. I still think about the side affects from my pills. Out if everything, the seizures themselves bothered me re least. The pills were the things that ruined my life for a long time, and still haunt me years later.

[numbepilepticlife]

Dear Epilepsy,

On a positive note, I didn’t have any large seizures today. I feel like I’m starting to make some progress!

I get to get a medical ID because of you, though I don’t particularly want one. Some part of me feels like I’m labeling myself, and that I’ll finally have to recognise you once I get it.

It’s like I have to let this big, ghoulish monster into my house, which doesn’t sound good, but you aren’t that bad....

For now anyway.

Sincerely, me.