#era rants

[norclaren]

Saw someone on Twitter comparing lando to mark webber which is fair enough because webber wasn't a very great starter too but the reply under that being "don't disrespect webber like that" is hilarious to me because lando is clearly a faster and better driver than webber has been in his entire career. Webber was mid at best lmaooo 😭 and also the second fiddle 🤣🙏🏻

[mojsvijet]

The Tragedy Of Wie Is De Mol 2023

Spoilers below the cut for seasons 23 and 13 of Wie Is De Mol?

Look, I didn’t want to be disappointed by this year’s season of Wie Is De Mol. It just sort of happened organically. I didn’t want to get spoiled on who the mol was, either, but RTL Boulevard did it for me, so here we are.

In hindsight, it all started when South Africa was announced as the location. A repeat location hadn’t been done since 2005, and even then, it was for only half the season. And season 13, the original South African season? It’s got some of the best opdrachten of all time and one of the best mols. Kees, you’re a real one. I watch the train opdracht when I’m in need of a pick-me-up a lot. Needless to say…the bar was high.

And then came season 23. Someone (can’t remember who) speculated that South Africa wasn’t the planned location initially and was a backup, and honestly? I believe it. Everything felt half-assed. From the weird executions to only three episodes having the traditional three opdrachten to the one episode where there was really only one opdracht composed of several small ones on a road trip…yeah, it was a mess. I tried to find out if there were, indeed, budget cuts at Avrotros, but it seemed their proposed budget had actually increased in 2022, so there’s that.

When it came to the mol, though? Jurre was a suspect of mine from the start, and not just because of my ‘Mols during the time Rik’s hosted pattern’ theory. Was production even trying to keep the cameras away from him? I’m starting to think that I suspected Soy for so long solely because he and Jurre were around each other a lot of the time.

Another thing? I didn’t care about spoilers a lot of the time. I'd just go 'eh' when I heard who got executed. As @mikolasjosef said while we were talking about this season, “I used to cancel everything to watch it live, and now I’m like ‘yeah I’ll watch it on Monday or something’.” It just felt boring. I stopped playing this one video game I’d played for six years because it felt like a chore to log in and do tasks, and honestly? Watching Wie Is De Mol 2023 felt like that, too. If this is Rik’s final season like I’ve been suspecting it is, I hate to say it, but it’s not a proper send-off. Now, season 18? That was a proper send-off for a host.

All I’m saying is, Avrotros needs to do better. This is the worst season I’ve watched since season 16, which I’ve never even attempted a rewatch of because it was just so boring. If we get another repeat location next year…I will be leery at best.

To conclude, this is me manifesting a better season next year:

[oceanera12]

So... this is a hot take that I really hope people don't take offense to, but--

Candace Against the Universe was a pointless movie.

I would like to make it clear that this is not a hate post. I do not hate the movie or the people who enjoyed it. If you liked it, great. Me? I give it a C+ for average. It was not a bad movie. It was funny, it made me smile and remember all the fun I have had watching Phineas and Ferb over the years and it seemed like everyone had fun working on it.

Heck, the movie did great. It did better than Mulan (which isn't a GREAT comparison but--!). People enjoyed it.

But there were a few things that just bugged me about it so here's a polite critique on a few things that needed improvements.

1. It did not feel like a movie. You want a Phineas and Ferb movie? Go watch 2nd Dimension. That felt like an actual movie. Against the Universe felt like a two-part episode that was stretched out to make the time of a movie.

2. There were all these little side plots and random events that felt disconnected from the rest of the plot. (Isabella and Doof arguing with one another comes to mind) While having minor side plots in a movie is usually a good thing, these particular ones were just... odd. They felt disjointed and disconnected from most of the plot.

3. Adding to this fact there were multiple (and I mean MULTIPLE) jokes that were stretched out much longer than they needed to. It happened enough that it felt like padding for time (see point one). Examples include: Candace and her smoothie, Phineas and Co looking at and away from a building to hear a musical cue, Breaking the 4th Dimension/4th Wall, Candace escaping, and shenanigans with the treadmill. Were these jokes bad? No. But they went on for far too long, far too often.

4. The movie's plotline was pointless. Literally. Candace's self-worth issues have been addressed multiple times and this movie just rehashed it all over again. Heck, she even goes to space again (Queen of Mars). I am made to believe this movie takes place sometime in The Summer. And the way it ends, it kind of feels like Candace is going to stop busting (which we know does not happen). So... what was the point?

5. No offense to Perry, but his entire point in the movie was basically Deus Ex Machina. Which was sad. Because Perry deserves more than being a Deus Ex Machina.

To wrap this whole thing up, Candace Against the Universe, while enjoyable and nostalgic, fell short of my personal expectations of what a Phineas and Ferb movie should be. It felt hollow compared to the original film and more like a money grab from Disney.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

(And to those wondering, yes I have an idea of what I would have wanted to see for a Phineas and Ferb movie that I will probably put in a future post)

[adolins-heart]

Hhaaaaaa sometimes I hate the internet

Despite my effort to filter things and block unfollow people and so on, it’s still impossible to avoid things that upset me or stress me out.

I still see posts about the news or current events. I still see posts about the most recent YouTube drama. I still see arguments and hate and anger everywhere.

I have a good support system, I’ll be okay.

But those of you that enjoy things that are common triggers for people or whatever who, instead of tagging or recognizing that that is negative and just adding a little extra effort to work with whoever brings it up to find a better solution, say “you’re in charge of curating your own online experience” and they’re right. You can. But things slip through the cracks, it is impossible to avoid every single thing that harms you because they’re everywhere.

So when someone shows up in good conscience going “hey I like your blog and would prefer not to unfollow/block but xyz thing is triggering/harmful to me is there a way you can or do tag it so I can filter it?” Don’t rant at them abt their “hate” and their “inability to handle themselves” bc that is the exact opposite of what they’re doing. They’re asking you to better filter it.

[echoesera]

On stories

My friend asked me the other day what the most fucked up thing I’ve seen on my obstetrics and gynecology term. Some new acquaintance might ask for a “hospital story”. I decline to answer.

I know they mean well. I know it comes from morbid curiosity, a glimpse into a field they know about peripherally. A world of magic and mayhem and life and death and heroism and chaos and -

I try always to decline to answer.

On good days it comes with a smile, a happy story, a touching one, a heartwarming one, a gentle “hey we don’t talk shop in polite company, it would ruin the night”. On bad days the grief is like a punch to the gut I am not expecting, one I cannot brace myself for.

I won’t know which day is which. I won’t know what might set it off. I won’t know how to remedy it.

So maybe, (I know you mean well, but just maybe), I am not your weaver of stories, not your guardian of memories, not the jester for your entertainment?

These aren’t my stories to tell.

These aren’t good stories to tell.

[norclaren]

Mark webber's face actually pisses me off so bad. Like bro go back to sleep. Idc what u have to say, please shut the fuck up. Even his accent annoys me.

[norclaren]

If they use that corny ass "papaya rules" again then i might personally have to take some drastic measures myself. Atleast come up with a cool name. 0 aura smh.

[mojsvijet]

Netflix’s ‘Tiny Pretty Things’: AKA, How Not to Adapt a YA Duology

I was going to write this after I finished the series, but 4,25 episodes in, I got too mad about things. There is so much that went wrong with this adaptation, and I’m pissed. This is a rant about how Netflix fucked up one of my favourite books of all time.

Spoilers abound, reader beware.

Background: Tiny Pretty Things/Shiny Broken Pieces was originally a YA book duology written by Sona Charaipotra and Dhonielle Clayton about a (fictional) elite ballet academy in New York City. There are three main POVs in the books: Bette, your stereotypically blonde ballerina who’s got a pill addiction; June, a half-Korean, half-white dancer struggling with an eating disorder; and Giselle (Gigi), the new girl who happens to be black in an art that is still very, very lacking in the diversity department. Competition can turn downright cruel sometimes, and it happens a lot in the books. I first read the duology in fall of 2019 and was immediately drawn to it (hello, ex-ballerina here). I’ve probably read it about five times, and so when I heard that it was going to be a Netflix show when watching a documentary about Debbie Allen’s dance school a couple of weeks ago, I got excited--what could go wrong?

Oh, dear me.

What They Changed and Why It Matters

The Setting: Instead of New York City, the Netflix adaptation is set in Chicago. I’m not entirely sure why they did this--was it because it would be less expensive to film in Chicago? Anyways, the setting was an integral part of the books and to change it to Chicago doesn’t really make sense.

Gigi’s Name and Backstory: She’s now ‘Neveah’ and her mother is incarcerated; she also has a brother who is in a wheelchair. No sign of the heart condition that was potentially life-threatening. In the books, her name is very significant, as she was named after the ballet Giselle--a ballet that is eventually performed at the end of the first book. Because she rises to the top after coming to the ABA, a lot of nasty shit happens to her: glass in her shoes, her EKG getting stolen, cockroaches… She also gets into a relationship with Bette’s forever boyfriend, Alec, who seems to have been renamed Oren in the Netflix series and it doesn’t happen. 

June’s Backstory: Her entire backstory got changed, which is a shame because out of the three main POVs, June was my favourite in the books. June’s mother used to be a dancer but left the dance world after she got pregnant, eventually beginning her own business and is very successful on her own. Thing is, June’s father was a dancer as well, and is now one of the big shots at the academy. Before she was born, her parents signed an agreement: so long as her mother said nothing about who her baby’s father was, she would inherit the contents of a trust fund set up for her when she turned eighteen. It’s never actually said how the relationship ended, but June sees it as her father ‘abandoning’ her mother. Because her father was white, she doesn’t speak Korean, and she doesn’t look ‘white enough’ or ‘Asian enough’, she’s constantly mocked by the (fully) Korean dancers at the school, including her ex-best friend, Sei-Jin. Why did they fall out? Sei-Jin kissed her and then spread rumours that June was the lesbian. Another main part of her story that was cut out is her anorexia/bulimia.

Bette’s Crazy Mother: Rather than being respected and a member of the board, Bette’s mother in the books is a raging alcoholic after her divorce and takes it out on her younger daughter. The older one, of course, can do no wrong. She’s essentially a joke to the ballet world, one who attempts to make problems go away with a fat check.

All the Male Characters’ Names: Alec is now Oren, Henri is now Nabil, Will is now Shane, and Mr. Lucas (aka June’s dad) doesn’t seem to exist.

Cassie: Rather than being drugged and dropped on purpose during a pas exercise and having to go to rehab, she’s now fallen (or been pushed) off of a roof and is in a coma. Fun times.

Why So Many Sex Scenes…

When I saw ass in the first episode, I knew it wasn’t a good sign. There’s maybe one or two sex scenes in the entire duology, and even then, they were very mild. There was no need for a sex scene every episode like there is in the Netflix adaptation. Who greenlit that?

How Can They Fix It?

Pull the entire thing and do a faithful adaptation.