“I want to go home. I’ll be fine.”
“You passed out, Blaine. We aren’t leaving until you see a doctor.”
“David is in Ohio.” Kurt sighed, running his fingers through Blaine’s sweat matted hair.
“I don’t think the emergency room was necessary. I probably just need some food and I’ll be okay.”
“Your hand is cut open.” Kurt pointed to Blaine’s blood hand which was wrapped in a bloody towel. “So stop arguing with me over this.”
“You’re also sweating a lot and you passed out. What if you got an infection?”
“Yeah I’m pretty sure infection doesn’t happen quick enough to make you pass out within five minutes or else I’d be dead by now.”
There was a knock on the door and then a nurse came in, prattling off Blaine’s vitals.
Kurt’s eyes lit up when the doctor stepped in. “Eric! See, Blaine? Stop being a baby. It’s Eric.”
“Hey, guys.” Eric laughed, smiling widely.
“Do you need anything else, Doctor?” The nurse asked.
“No but I know where to find you if I need you.” Eric said politely, holding the door open for her to leave. Once she was gone and it was shut, he groaned. “I hate new nurses and interns. They kiss ass to the point where you want to fire them right away.”
“Our interns are like that too.” Blaine said, still cradling his hand.
“Ouch. So, what happened?” Eric sat on the rolling chair, scooting it to the end of the bed and taking Blaine’s hand. He carefully peeled the towel back. “Double ouch.”
“Uhm I cut it. It’s not really that bad but Kurt made me come.” Blaine explained.
“You look like you’re sweating and you’re pretty pale.” Eric pointed out. “Do you dislike doctors?”
“It’s nothing personal. Okay, it’s personal to me.” Blaine looked embarrassed.
“Tons of people hate doctors. It’s okay. I understand.” Eric reassured him, surveying his hand. “I’ll get you taken care of. What did you cut yourself with?”
“Yeah, we’re going to get a tetanus shot, alright?” Eric said, pulling special glasses out of his coat pocket and then looking down at his hand once more. “It’s pretty deep. This is not bad to you? Would your hand have to be amputated for it to be bad? Geeze.”
“Is this proper bedside manner?” Blaine huffed, although clearly joking.
“See, Blaine.” Kurt hissed. “He passed out too.”
“Sometimes cutting yourself pretty bad can make you pass out. It can be a bit of a shock to the system.” Eric reassured Kurt. “But we’ll get him stitched up and the Tetanus shot will keep him from getting Tetanus.”
“Can you, like, give him antibiotics incase?”
“No.” Eric laughed. “But if he starts to feel sick or it gets infected, I definitely will. It’s never good to go on antibiotics if you don’t need it because you can build up immunity.”
“You’re going to need your wound numb. There is no way you’d still like me if I did your stitches without numbing you first.” Eric promised. “Trust me.”
Blaine sighed and nodded.
“Feeling numb?” Eric asked ten minutes later, taking Blaine’s hand and setting it on a small cart.
“Sure.” Blaine said, looking sick.
“Did you eat that fruit cup I brought you?”
Eric rolled his eyes and looked for the cup before placing it on the cart. “It’ll give you something to do.”
“You’re not going to have someone hold my hand?”
Eric looked up, clearly fighting a smile. “Do you need someone to hold your hand down? Usually past the age of ten…”
Kurt giggled, kissing Blaine’s cheek.
“Have you ever had stitches, Blaine?” Eric asked.
“Alright well it’s not the most pleasant thing in the world but it’s not the worst either. I’ve got stitches on my leg right now. So just don’t watch me doing it and talk to me, or Kurt, and don’t think about it.”
Blaine nodded, but did not open his mouth to speak.
“When are the babies due again?” Eric asked after threading the needle.
“I’m checking for debris inside the cut. Sometimes little… never mind. Just answer the question, Blaine.” Eric said without looking up from Blaine’s hand.
“Those are weird glasses.”
“I said to not watch me! You’re like this ten year old girl I had this morning who had a hook stuck in her mouth. I’m trying to take the hook out and she’s prattling on about The Amazing Race. What ten year old watches The Amazing Race?” Eric asked. “And they are weird glasses. They’re oddly light too considering how heavy they look.”
“Do you want to try them on after, Blaine?” Kurt teased.
“You’re using a legitimate needle?”
“Now you’re the elderly guy. Next you’ll tell me your skin is too fragile.”
“You have horrible bedside manner.”
“Mr. Anderson-Hummel, I need you to stop talking.” Eric smirked.
Kurt laughed when Blaine huffed.
“So, how’s the new promotion going?” Eric asked when Blaine cringed.
“Oh God there is a needle in my hand.” Blaine looked up at the ceiling.
“How is the new promotion going?” Eric repeated, trying his hardest to not look amused when Kurt squeezed Blaine’s free hand.
“I think you’re about to have a leak.” Blaine gestured his and Kurt’s hands to the ceiling. “Fucking hell, is this necessary? I’ll be fi—ow!”
“Well I can stop, it can get infected, and you could either lose your hand or maybe even your whole life?” Eric said. “Which, really, is it worth all that when you’ve got twins on the way?”
“I hate doctors.” Blaine whimpered.
“Alright so, guys,” Eric said, pronouncing ‘guys’ in the way Alec always did when excited.
Kurt snorted. “He hates you.”
“He married me. He can’t hate me too much.” Eric grinned. “But seriously, you all should come to California with us. We’re going in two months to see family because Alec’s dad is getting back from overseas. Alec’s dad liked you a lot, Kurt.”
Kurt laughed again. “You made him sound like a monster.”
“He is.” Eric whined before going, “Sorry, Blaine.”
“Sorry? Shit. Distract me, distract me.”
“Okay. Okay, I’ve got this. Listen to this, alright? I had to help with an EKG—it’s a heart test—the other day and it was on a woman. They have to undress and you put this cape on them. So, obviously I’m not a woman so it was a girl nurse in there. So she’s got huge boobs. I mean, like, ridiculously huge. And she apparently pulls her bra off and 7 Oreos fall out and she’s got crumbs likeall over her chest and it gets on the floor. So the nurse comes out and she just bursts into laughter and tells me. And we’re both laughing so hard we’re crying because what the hell? And then I have to go in there to actually perform the test and not laugh and I get up to the table and have to kick Oreos under it. Oh my God. Only in America.” Eric said.
Blaine let out a loud laugh.
“But what about her clothes?” Kurt asked, horrified.
“God. You and Alec are too alike. He goes, ‘Was she wearing white?’” Eric rolled his eyes and shook his head, but smiled.
“Have you ever had to work on anything really gross?” Blaine asked. “I mean, grosser than gross?”
“I’m pretty sure you mean gore and I have but if you mean gross gross, last week this homeless man came in. He was really mentally unstable and he had this sore. Oh God. I get sick to my stomach thinking about it.” Eric didn’t look up from Blaine’s hand, which he was half done sewing up. “And it was obviously infected which is why he was at the hospital. Literally there were places where he had barely-there flesh.”
“Because it was infected?”
“Because he had maggots living on his leg.” Eric whispered, glancing up. “It was so disgusting and it smelled rancid. I swear I could smell it for two days. I didn’t eat the whole rest of the day either. Like, when he’d walk, blood and maggots would get on the floor. Ugh.”
Kurt and Blaine both screwed their faces up.
“And I worked on site at that big helicopter crash in Jersey last month. They sent me and a few other doctors. Now that’s gore. It was just depressing, though. Bodies cut in half and junk.” Eric shuddered. “I don’t even like to think about that one.”
“Is it really worse on the full moons?” Kurt asked. “Or is that just a myth?”
“Oh, it’s worse. In fact the last full moon, someone who thought they were turning into a werewolf came in. Turns out they’d done too much pot and were constipated.”
Blaine snorted loudly, almost having forgot about his hand by this point.
“Once these Teen Wolf cosplayers came in. They got overexcited with a crossbow. It went clear through this one girl’s hand. Good times. Personally, I’m waiting for zombies to come in. I’ve watched enough Walking Dead to be sure I’d survive. Alec, on the other hand… Well, he’s a goner.”
“Oh God. You watch that too?” Kurt groaned. “He and Adrian watch it together every Sunday at our apartment. You should come over too.”
“I might have to. Alec judges me when I get excited for zombie deaths.” Eric laughed. “How are you holding up, Blaine?”
“Like… It was through her hand? How’d you get it out?” Blaine looked queasy.
“Well we had to saw off the tips and then round them off so we could pull it through her hand. Then they had to do some reconstructive surgery. I don’t know what kind of cosplayers use real weapons but whatever floats their boat.” Eric glanced up when a man walked in.
“Your husband is here.” The man said.
“Can you tell him I’ll be out in about five minutes?” Eric asked.
“He can come in.” Blaine interrupted. He knew Alec well enough to not really care if Alec saw him getting stitches.
“Or can you tell him to come in?” Eric asked.
“He needs a job. He’s always here.” Eric muttered after the door closed again.
“He lost it?” Blaine asked.
“His boss said something anti-marines and Alec walked out.” Eric shook his head. “He’s very opinionated.”
“Who is opinionated?” Alec asked, walking into the room. “Oh, you’re with—Oh! Ouch. What happened, Blaine?”
“Dog food can lid.” Blaine winced, glancing down at his hand.
“Almost done with the stitches.” Eric promised.
“You’d probably be done by now if you didn’t talk so much.” Blaine joked.
“Eric, have you been talking more than fixing?” Alec rolled his eyes.
“Yes, father.” Eric rolled his eyes, tying the stitches off. “Okay. I’m going to get the bandages now.”
“No, I’m going on lunch.” Eric said, walking to the counter and pulling out gauze. “I was supposed to two hours ago”
“Don’t worry. It’s not that.” A doctor that was about Eric’s age walked over to him, whispering something in his ear that Blaine wasn’t able to make out.
Eric looked horrified. “When? Last night?”
“Damnit! I just need to live here! I always miss stuff!” Eric exclaimed. “So it was like that woman in New Zealand?
The other guy nodded. “Exactly.”
“It’s probably a good thing I wasn’t here. Whenever it’s sex related stuff, I keep having to excuse myself to giggle or resist the urge to judge them.” Eric shrugged. “But she is okay, right?
“Yeah. They gave her some medicine and she’s got feeling in her arm again.” The guy waved before leaving the room. “See you tomorrow, Eric!”
“That must have been some hickey.” Eric snorted, going back to Blaine.
“What happened?” Alec arched his eyebrow. “Will I be sorry for asking?”
“Probably but did you know that if you have a bad enough hickey, it can cause a stroke?” Eric asked, cutting some guaze off of the roll and setting it on his tray.
“Well you can. It happened in 2011 in New Zealand and it happened again last night, apparently. The pressure caused a clot under her artery and it moved into her heart, so she had a partial stroke.”
“Eric, isn’t this breaking doctor-patient confidentiality?” Alec questioned.
“You say that every time I talk about this stuff just because you don’t want to hear it.” Eric rolled his eyes and then looked at Blaine. “Hold your hand right here for me… yeah, good.”
“Is that really possible, though?” Kurt looked doubtful.
“You’d be surprised the sex injuries you see in a hospital. We have people come in twice a day with something they’ve inserted and can’t… uhm… uninsert. It’s like people don’t know what lube is anymore.” Eric wrapped gauze around Blaine’s hand and then fastened it with a little metal clip. “Try to keep it dry for a few days. You can get David to take them out in about ten days. And don’t worry about paying up front. You’re covered.”
“Yes.” Eric nodded, smiling. “Be careful with metal stuff, though. I’m sure you’re fine but if you experience any stiffness in your neck, jaw, or other muscle get back here. Also difficulty swallowing, jaw spasms, muscle contractions, irritability. But, again, I’m sure you’re good.”
“Alright. Thanks.” Blaine pulled his jacket on carefully with Kurt’s help.
“Kurt, make sure he takes it easy.” Eric called.
“No dishes duty. HA!” Blaine stuck out his tongue. “Doctor’s orders.”
“Ever heard of rubber gloves and a rubber band around the wrist?” Alec snorted.
“Sir, I don’t think you’re allowed in my patient’s room. Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Sir!” Eric pointed at the door.
Both Kurt and Blaine laughed as Alec glared daggers at Eric.
“Sometimes he hates me.” Eric informed them.
“Sometimes he forgets he’s thirty-two.” Alec retorted.
“I’m thirty-one.” Eric looked highly offended. “And you’re not that far behind,Alec.”
“You take that back right now, old man!” Alec raised his arm to hit Eric.
“Oh, please try. I’ll pay you to try.” Eric grinned. “Please do it.”
“No. No worries. I’ll just call my dad.”
Eric scowled. “I don’t think I want you to have lunch with me anymore. You’re mean.”
Kurt and Blaine both laughed again.
“Please don’t encourage him.” Alec massaged his forehead.
“Are you sure we don’t need to pay?” Blaine asked again.
Eric nodded. “Don’t worry about it. Seriously. You’re good.”
“Well you two should come to dinner tonight. Kurt’s making baked chicken. It’samazing.” Blaine offered. “If you get off early enough, that is.”
“Sold. I don’t turn down free food.” Alec chirped. “We’ll just have to make sure we don’t stay too late. Big snow apparently.”
“You live within walking distance of your apartment.” Kurt pointed out.
“He likes to play in the snow. It’s really kind of cute.” Eric cooed, pinching Alec’s cheek.
Alec swatted his hand away. “Let’s go get your lunch before someone starts decoding and you have to get back to work.”
“Coding.” Eric laughed. “He is right, though. I’m starving. We’ll be over for dinner around six? Seven?”
“You can come whenever you want but it probably won’t be done until seven.” Kurt smiled. “Thanks, Eric.”
“No problem.” Eric reached in his jacket, pulling out a Band-Aid and handing it to Blaine. “Way to be a trooper, hotshot.”
Blaine rolled his eyes as they walked out but Eric clearly heard him go, “Hey! It’s Avengers! Cool!” before the door shut.
“If you two would spend time alone together, I’m pretty sure you’d end up best friends.” Alec informed Eric, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the room in the other direction.
“I’m pretty sure you’re right.”
