Talking To Love
I've been talking about falling in love like it's gravity
Talking about walking with you like you won't abandon me
I've preached your name like a sermon i know by heart
Gave you away in pieces, let strangers take me apart
I've poured you into hands that were already halfway gone
Called it devotion, called it hope, called it "holding on"
They left with their pockets full, said i was too much to keep
And still somehow i overflow while pretending to be ampty
I cried for you, lied for you, bent till i almost broke
Nearly drowned in the smoke of brigdes i let you choke
I almost died trying to prove i could love enough
Like pain was the price, like survival was optional love
And you....
You were never missing, never far from my skin
You were spilling out of me, asking why i don't pour you in
You said, 'why do you beg when you're already full?'
'Why do you starve one cup just to keep others cool'
I had two hands, two cups, one cracked, one dry
And i kept feeding the one that was never mine
I could've filled myself, let the ache finally rest
But i chose generosity dressed up as self neglect
Because loving others feels nobble, feels clean, feels right
And loving myself feels like picking a fight
So i pretend I'm empty, i play the role well
Even when love keeps whispering, 'you're already full, you can tell'
I've been talking about love like it's something i chase
When it's been breathing through me, wearing my face
And maybe one day I'll listen, maybe I'll finally start
But for now, i keep giving and calling it heart
