Static–Soul

{hologram–heartbeats}

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INTRO UPDATE

𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢: 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔱

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤: 𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔩𝔬𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤

𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔲𝔰: 𝔰𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔱𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫

I don't always like what i write, but here are my favorites:

Love, unnamed

Error 408: Took Too Long

Now We Watch The Credits Roll

Sweet Tooth Rot

Take Another Shot

Stay A While

Cyberlove

And my first:

The Bittersweet Wound

Hey there, stranger :) welcome to this void my restless mind calls home <3

Not sure how you ended up here, maybe your doomscrolling finaly brought you to the dead ends of Tumblr, or you were cursed with already knowing me, or you probably saw me reblogging this garbage on one of the million communities I'm in. Either way......

Can I Waste Your Time?

I know it's kind of selfish of me to just leave like this, but i honestly can't do it anymore. I wanted to say goodbye to everyone but truth is i suck at goodbyes, especially when I'm the one who has to say them. Plus I'm too coward to send a goodbye like that.

I don't know how many times i edited this trying to write the perfect goodbye, but goodbye has never been perfect. It's always this broken, blurry glass we have to look through until it passes. I tried coming back because that somehow always kind of helps, i mean it did for a few hours, but I'm just empty and overwhelmed it's too much for me.

If blocking this blog makes you feel more comfortable or whatever, i promise I'll understand. It's not like I'll be here anyways. But if you still want to linger here, that's totally fine. We'll just haunt this place together <3

So to my moots, followers, and the strangers that might end up here. Even though we've never talked or just stopped talking at all, or talk all the time. You've been super great. Each and every single one of you played a specific role in my life, maybe you've never even realized it.

A little confession: i hate being vulnerable, i hate knowing people can read my pain, i hate knowing that someone could know exactly what I'm going through, but somehow each stupid like and each random follow and confusing messages encouraged me to share more. The kind of comforting i didn't realize could exist.

I'm glad i got to experience what it really feels like to finally open up to someone who doesn't get paid for it, even if it was to strangers on the internet. I'm gone, but I'll let this blog linger as my ghost. I'll let it stay, maybe as a reminder that i did exist because quite frankly only strangers ever noticed my presence.

So i, A҉y҉a҉n҉d҉a҉, owner of this horrid blog i had to think twice before making, leave my skeleton to rot here. So you'll come check out the remaining bones of someone who chose to leave, or a stranger will bump into this digital diary and fall in love with my pain, or maybe i just wanna be more than a memory.

Either way this is the end of the rode for me. Adios mi amigos. (If i even said that right)

I guess my mother was right, i am an impatient child.

Don't think anyone got this far, but if you did. Thank you for everything, even if you felt like it was "just nothing." It's more than you'll ever know.

Signed,

@Error404feelings

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Strangers On My Phone

Yeah i don't know who you are

But i cry when you say you wanna jump infront of a car

I don't know you but i still care about what you think

So when i feel too much i make sure you don't notice i shrink

I don't know you but i still hurt you

I'm sorry for everything i put you through

I don't know you but i smile when you compliment my words

You're the only one who hears music in these teared up cords

I don't know you but you're the reason I'm still here

The reason I'm learning to face my fears

I don't know you but we give eachother silly nicknames

Talk about trauma like it’s nothing because we broke the same

I don't know you but I've made you my safe space

My comfort person when i feel out of place

You won't know me, not anymore I don't feel like the me from before

I don't know you but I'm proud to say i love you

Maybe you don't even mean it but I'm glad you say it too

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BUT SHE’S A STRANGER

I know so much about her, yet so little,

I wanna give her my everything, though I’m brittle.

It’s all worn out, my heart a quiet gray,

Still reaching for a love that fades away.

She knows the way I laugh, but not the sound,

She knows my secrets, buried deep, where I once drowned.

I’d give her all I am, what still remains,

But love has left my hands with rusted chains.

Knowing these small fragments of her,

Is a drug...just a taste, just a blur.

Every conversation leaves me wanting more,

Like I’ve been here before, still scratching the door.

I’m failing to keep it as just one more dose,

I need to cut the cords, burn the bridge, before I get too close.

Oh my poor heart, how do I make you see,

She’s not a future, just a beautifully dressed maybe.

I say I want her happy, just wanna see her smile,

I feel she hasn’t had that in a while.

All everyone says is, “but she’s a stranger,”

I don’t care, I never did, I’m just scared this world will change her.

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Haunting Myself Again

Haunting myself again at night,

Turning every wrong into my right.

I bruise my soul with things I say,

Call it strength, then look away.

I lie to myself clean and neat,

So I don’t hear the lies you speak.

I twist the truth till I can claim

it’s my fault, not your disappearing flame.

I sharpen words and aim them in,

A private war beneath my skin.

If I break me first, I pretend

Your damage doesn’t have to end.

I hate myself to set the bar,

So low that scraps feel who you are.

Bare minimum dressed as grace,

Neglect baptized as “knowing my place.”

I tell myself this ache is growth,

That wanting more is doing the most.

So I starve my needs, call it restraint,

Paint over cracks, ignore the paint.

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Nothing Left To Lose

I loved you with my everything,every breath, every fragile thing.

I gave you hope, I gave you proof,I built a future on a truth

That only lived inside my head,Now every dream we had is dead.

You left so quiet, no goodbye,

No final look, no reason why.

Just empty rooms and echoing air,

Your absence louder everywhere.

I spent my faith, I spent my youth,

I bled myself to keep us true.

Now what remains is thin and loose

A heart with nothing left to lose.

I stand where love and ruin fuse,

Too numb to beg, too tired to choose.

I loved you past what love should do,

And now I’ve got nothing left to lose.

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Brought Back Unfinished

I wake to bright lights, beeps, my mouth dyed black,

Count my steady heartbeat, proof I’m back.

White coats hover, whispering my name,

Like ghosts rehearsing me back into flame.

My body remembers what my mind forgot,

How close I drifted to that final spot.

They call it healing, I call it theft

Some part of me stayed where I almost left.

I’m breathing still, against my will,

Dragged back into a life that won’t go still.

Now I’m conscious, stitched to this view,

Wishing I’d stayed numb

Wishing I never woke through.

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If you know how to read,

You’ll seeevery person is a book

Some dog-eared, some censored,

Some written in a language they were never taught to love

Small talk is the blurb.

Silence is the footnote.

The truth lives in the margins,

In what they cross out,in the chapters they swear they’ve “moved past.”

[error404feelings-deactivated]

MY MOTHER

I used to say "we share a face,we're not the same"

But I'm her spitting image, down to her mistakes

Like a reflection with a different name

Still trapped in the same old frame

Carrying her flame, when i swear i won't play the same game

Like her, i can't leave the past in the past

Always pushing errors and their pain Just to make it all last

I replay it until the hurt feels fast

Like if i hold on long enough

The damage will finally explain

Or maybe I'll also block out the wrong

Because sometimes a good heart drives a person insane

I keep reopening errors, calling pain a sign

Because i don't wanna feel like I'm crossing a line

Just like her, I refuse to see the wrong

Repeating the same mistakes

Mistaking madness for a song

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[atlas-at-aperture]

✴️ Tag game! ✴️

Answer these questions and tag a few people you want to reply! This is purely optional, and you can skip questions if you don’t feel comfy answering. No pressure!

i made the questions positive so hopefully this sparks some confidence in you all! We all deserve happiness and love! Your outfit looks amazing on you, even if you didn’t even try! Your body is perfectly fine, and you don’t gotta worry about what people think of you, because I think you look so cunning, no… STUNNING!

🍊 what did you accomplish today? (Something small, something big, anything!)

☣️ what’s one thing you really love about yourself? (Can be anything!)

🥕 whats one thing your excited about? (Maybe today? In a week? Can be anything!)

⭐️ what’s your favorite flaw about yourself? Do you think it matters to others?

🏵️ What’s one thing you wish you could do, but you don’t think you can? (It can be anything! And you CAN do it!)

Tagging my moots and fave blogs! (no pressure!) also open tags!

@tv-time-family @mcchill-16 @nyx--the--moth @girl-on-the-subway @cute-landmine @aciddbandyeentrio @crowtheorie @jaguarspiceup @beadyeyedcockatiel @alpheiamoth @zimsrightantenna @sockmembrane @zimyourfutureruler @k-eke @ladyw0r1d @lady-nuggetz @red-the-spider @clown-booth

(LMK IF YOU WANT UNTAGGED IN DMS, PLEASE!)

[girl-on-the-subway]

yay! thx for the tag :)

🍊i finished a ring i’ve been working on for a while and i learned how to use a rotary tool

☣️ i really love how kind and caring i am

🥕im excited to turn 18!

⭐️ the fact that i overshare and sometimes say weird things. i think it either makes people love me or hate me

🏵️ i wish i could make friends and get a girlfriend

no pressure tags! @edentherambler @error404feelings @miss-dior-whore @hunibelle @x-mad-max-x @hobbyist-depressionist @dr-sunshine @dietmountainndeww @dazednpaquita @stvrgirl3636 @apologeticpristinelamb @i-eat-umbrellas @mysticaleldritchpunk @pinaforepirate @pickledoesthetumbling @perpetuaqtpie @or4nge-f4nta @ilovehorrormoviee @thatchaoticbookworm @timetravelingracoon @tinkerbelle @weirdgayweevil @wistriverside + open tags!

[error404feelings-deactivated]

🍊studied immediately after grtting home and did all my homework

☣️ my lashes (this one's ridiculous)

🥕 i might be getting my first tattoo some time next week

⭐️ my tooth gap, i feel like it makes my smile prettier. Not sure, I've never had anyone comment on it.

🏵️get over everything that hurt me (in the past and now) insread of just avoiding talking about it

Open tags>>>>

[error404feelings-deactivated]

"Why don't you try writing more about happiness?"

I don't remember what it feels like, my head's just a mess

"Use your imagination, write about the ends of the rainbow"

My imagination's crooked, i can't write about things i don't know

They say happiness is a choice, like I didn’t misplace the map

Like joy didn’t pack its bags and ghost me mid sentence

I write with borrowed light, second-hand smiles

And just hope it hangs on when time flies

Scribbling memories that feel like a rumor

Coping with my messed up humor

If happiness is a color, mine got washed out

Swallowed its voice so no one hears it shout

Left on the line too long, sun bleached and tired

So numb, so overwhelmed, like pain's just how I'm wired

So I write about the mess instead

Because it's the only thing that makes sense in my head

Because at least the mess knows my name

So when i cry, it won't look away in shame

[error404feelings-deactivated]

*browses own blog* wow this is shit

[error404feelings-deactivated]

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry i cry when i want something from you

Then complain when you do it too

I'm sorry blamed you for all my mess

It just hurt that sometimes you made me feel less

I'm sorry I'm selfish, i know i drive you insane

I only blame you so i don't carry the guilt of causing you pain

I'm sorry i convinced you to give me your already wounded heart

Then made you watch as i teared it apart

I'm sorry i called you brave and strong

Just so i could hurt you and expect you to play along

I'm sorry treated it all like some stupid game

Knowing you'd let me if i just cried calling your name

I'm sorry I'm so cruel, so heartless

Treating it all like a big stupid board of chess

I'm sorry i kept calling it love, calling it fate

Just to end it all with a smile and "checkmate"

I'm sorry i said I'd stay then went back to being cold and distant

Because when it didn't benefit me, i cut you off in almost an instant

If i could turn back time I'd make sure i don't become a part of your story

I know this means jackshit, but baby I'm so fucking sorry

[anonymoustigress]

Trigger Warning: Self harm, alcohol, substance use

Poison

I crave the poison.

When the world crashes around me and my skull falls apart to slice my brain into all the burning pieces I feel,

I only crave the alcohol.

The drink I need to quench the darkness within me, 

To kill the monster whose claws only fall when I drown.

When I am stuck in my head and I have nothing to numb the thoughts that haunt me and the darkness envelops me from the outside and in, 

All I can think is 

“I know it would cure the pain”

Because when the vodka floods my blood,

Or the whiskey burns my throat and alcohol penetrates my veins,

The world disappears, my thoughts silence, the lines on my arms blur into one distant memory and I finally feel free.

[winterrnightt48]

I wanted to start a tag game… so who are your current top 5 favourite music artists??

I listen to so much music and I had a hard time deciding, but here are mine in no particular order:

- Rainbow Kitten Surprise

- Mitski

- Gigi Perez

- Yaelokre

- Conan Gray

Feel free to participate even if you weren’t tagged!! And pls don’t feel obligated to participate <33 (when done tag a few of your moots)

@mothwingsmayy @dontyoudarejudg3 @moonys-chocolate28 @moonymessrs @prongsandpads @darknesswrappedinfallcolors @sofiasguitar

[hollanov-addict28]

Heyy thanks for the tag! Here's mine:

- Hozier

- Taylor Swift

- Conan Gray

- Louis Tomlinson

- sombr

@istillwishforyouateleveneleven @miniaturespirestorm @prongsievans @whatthekoi @alwayssirius09 @aamtreeanalogy @international-electromatics @purelovebesr @spacecurlsandbowties @sirenja-and-stag @sophi-spilled

[istillwishforyouateleveneleven]

TYSM FOR THE TAG MEL!! <333

conan gray

chapell roan

sombr

phoebe bridgers

5sos

npt: @darlingmylovethatsmurder @knightmossy @loonylara @rosekiller27 @maliciouslittlewhiteboy @simplyfianella @piasstrology + open for all!!

[miniaturespirestorm]

Ty for the tag melll

uhmmmm lemme think

this is hard

Conan Gray

Mindless Self Indulgence

Olivia Roderigo

Gigi Perez

sombr

NPT: @padslovesmoony, @acotar-lover, @chemicalwolfgames, @lotions-and-potions, @messercrashem, @kalepopcorn, @si0phra, @malinamagdalena, @poofypanda12, @boosthefaerie, @acotar-lover, @brosaraccon, @allie-marauder, @asistanttothewallflower, @ayat-official, @rosemaryy17, @falsettospilled, @fandom-gremlin, @multifamdomfan @itstrueiwastheplantmister, @cornishpadfoot, @ximmustdie, @notadhdjustvibes, @froggylovesstuff, @lunaremusblack, @slvt4bowie, @hawthorne-swift-enthusiasttt, @softcora

[lotions-potions-and-notions]

thank you for the tag!

Noah Kahan

Conan Gray

Taylor swift

Ela Taubert

sombr

@slowalkingbisexualgirl @221biandconfused @joylivie @the-aricher @starstruck-daydreamer @souperache @not-a-gay-fangodess @bookworm-fangirl1 @candiceturner @wallyblack1925-offical @mayawithany @bucky-barns-at-221b @coneheadobviously @krow-offical @brambledeggs @eleventhirtythoughts @thatsmyineffablelifeline

[thatsmyineffablelifeline]

thanks!!

in no particular order,

Conan gray

olivia rodrigo

cavetown

taylor swift

jax

@shenanigan42 @chr0nically-b0red @imgonnacryalltheusersaretaken @im-a-rock @butidonotapprove @wallyblack1925-offical @notmyfaultnotmyproblem @biancanotfound @candiceturner + open!!!

[chr0nically-b0red]

CHEERS FOR THE TAG

CAVETOWN

GREEN DAYYYYYYYY

SLIPKNOT

NIRVANA

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

@theglitterwarrior @lelethetopicchanger @crowshapedfae @waitingonabook @walkingmushroom47 @iiiidiotnathanieliii @thatsmyineffablelifeline + OPENNNNN

[lelethetopicchanger]

:P thank you!!

No order,

Cavetown

Tv girl

Kate bush

Jack stauber

Mitski but i only know 2 songs so like i need to expand on thatt

(of course there are more gang theres js not enough space)

@kurobkasa @moro-thekebab-noodles @chr0nically-b0red @starsystemthings @deltasimaginaryland @jess-is-toolazy @urkotheuppercase @f0rg0tt3n19 @lyri-da-suprstar (rip lyri again but i could never remove u from the tag list) @whackybird-offical @evelyn3377 @amtheracoon @dandelion64 @twohundredfiftynine @ur-local-autistic-croc @random-indian-girl

[random-indian-girl]

In very particular order.

Lydia the Bard

Beth Crowley

Conan Gray

Iqbaal Bano (Hum Dekhenge as a song and also cause she's cool for everything to do with that performance of Hum Dekhenge)

Mohammad Iqbal (If you've heard Sare Jahan se Acha and Mera Vaton wohi hai, you know what I'm talking about)

Tags: @do--not--you-dare , @gay-glacier-girl , @kirapjo0818 , @thatchaoticbookworm

[thatchaoticbookworm]

you listen to lydia the bard?? :DD some of my top artists are: (in no particular order) cavetown hozier arctic monkeys olivia rodrigo

clairo @shenanigan42 @cocainecoveredstrawberry @elara-me @perpetuallyconfusedindividual @h0neyh1ve @cyberobservationmilkshake @karasubooks @oxyisdamoron @shaethecrow @girl-on-the-subway @lawrenceinagothicfont @themisspineapple and open tags

[girl-on-the-subway]

weeeeee thx for the tag mootie!

olivia o’brien

julia wolf

chappell roan

emeline

maggie lindemann

no pressure tags! @dr-sunshine @edentherambler @error404feelings @l1v1ngd34db0yx @pinaforepirate @miss-dior-whore @dietmountainndeww @dazednpaquita @tinkerbelle @hunibelle @apologeticpristinelamb @stvrgirl3636 @hobbyist-depressionist @niyahbabes @baldbrams @starloving-186 @x-mad-max-x @perpetuaqtpie @pickledoesthetumbling @playboyprincessxoxo @or4nge-f4nta @iamthereasonforallmyproblems-de @merrychristmas-pleasedontcall @i-eat-umbrellas @ilovehorrormoviee @timetravelingracoon @rotmilkbride @weirdgayweevil @wistriverside + anyone else!

[error404feelings-deactivated]

thanks for the tag <3

Måneskin

Ellah Boh

Haiden Henderson

Arctic Monkeys

Artemas

Open tags>>>>

[error404feelings-deactivated]

Our Love Wasn't Blind, Just Deaf

I smiled when you said you’d die if I ever wanted to leave,

Thinking it meant you were so in love,

But now knowing the truth, my heart grieves.

I learned too late that love doesn’t beg to be survived,It asks to be chosen, not feared, not revived.

My heart bled so much for you,

My tears ran out, crying for all the things you put me through.

Now half of me’s just gray,

No longer comforted by lies you used to say.

Love that leaves bruises and stings

Shouldn’t be an anthem your heart sings.

If it hurts to breathe, it isn’t devotion,

It’s a warning bell dressed up as emotion.

You treated my tears like they were some achievement,

I can’t believe I used to call you an angel, something heaven sent.

You wore my pain like a medal, polished and proudly bent,

Turns out heaven doesn’t cheer when a soul is spent.

This is always how it ends.

Am I the one driving you crazy?

Should we have just stayed friends?

No. I wasn’t the madness, I was just too honest to pretend.

Some loves rot when they’re asked to be kind.

Friends would’ve survived

What lovers like this leave behind.