I finally got it done! Hello, @eruriv! I’m your Secret Santa for the Eruri Secret Santa Exchange! Since you said you love AUs of any kind, anything that isn’t canon, I settled on just drawing the Eruris cuddling on a couch on Christmas. Erwin has bad tastes when it comes to wrapping papers, but that’s okay because Levi loves and appreciates him anyway. They’re warm and happy and old, and that’s all that matters. Happy holidays!
@noticed–by–senpai you got stuck with me as your SS. Aren’t you lucky……….anyways, here’s my feeble attempt at fluff canonverse. i hope you enjoy it and have a safe holiday/new year. -memoirs
Levi leaves his signature all over Erwin’s body. Not with ink, but with thread. Each pass of the needle sharp and straight like the stroke of his quill.
Square knots placed with such precision. It becomes an art form with forceps and hemostat in hand. Levi the artist, Erwin the canvas. Levi is meticulous, crossing all T’s and dotting all I’s before moving on to the next area. Fingers trace over bone and muscle. The slightest of pressure searching for breaks, bruises, tenderness as steel grey eyes watch blue. Erwin forgets to breathe.
Touches move lower, outlining calloused ridges and skin rubbed hairless from years of taunt leather straps. A gash on the inner thigh earns a “Tch” and gentle probing. A hiss escapes Erwin’s lips as iodine seeps into the cut longer than necessary. A sign of Levi’s agitation, and he’s right. Erwin had made a rare mistake in his haste thinking back. A miscalculation in his trajectory that could have had worse results. The biting chill of salve pulls his attention to the raven hair man between his legs.
Levi’s touch has been nothing but sterile and methodical during this whole encounter. As Erwin watches dexterous fingers continue their exploration; his mind betrays him. Thoughts of those same fingers grabbing, pulling, ……stroking. Blunt fingernails digging into flesh, tearing the new stitches open. Gasps and moans followed by a mantra of his name flooding past palatable lips. Lips he wants to crush, taste, devour.
Despite being unclothed, the room suddenly becomes stifling. He mentally curses and wills himself to steady his breathing and heartbeat. Levi stands to inspect the final piece. A cut to the cheek from a branch. Levi places a finger and tilts Erwin’s chin up forcing blue to meet grey again. This time Erwin only feels shame; for previous thoughts, for previous actions. He doesn’t deserve this kindness. He doesn’t deserve these moments. He doesn’t deserve him.
“Erwin” brings him back to reality. There’s confusion in Levi’s usual furrow. Oh. His hand is gripping Levi’s hip. His mind races for plausible explanations. “Ah, yes. Hange mentioned that you pushed Sarah into safety but I believe some of her gear might have made contact. This was the side right?”
Snort. “If by pushed you mean crashed, then yes. But her blade box got me good. It will be gone by tomorrow.” True, Levi did heal extraordinarily fast. A touchy subject Hange found out on several occasions. But Erwin’s curiosity gets the best of him and words fly out before he realizes. “May I see it?”
The silence lingers and Erwin feels a fool. A line crossed, no doubt. He thanks Levi for being the reasonable one, for understanding their situation, for keeping the boundaries in place. “Ok.” There’s hesitation. Erwin looks up. Levi nods and says “Ok” this time with conviction. He steps back and starts to undo the buttons of his shirt, cravat, jacket, and gear long abandoned after his shower. He loosens the fly of his pants and pulls the hem down below his hip.
To say it was a small impact is an understatement. The hematoma started several inches above his pant line stretching inward to his navel. “How far down does it go?” “Not quite mid thigh.” Erwin’s fingers sketch the outskirts of the bruise over the jutting hip bone. “Does it hurt?” Levi shrugs in return.The kaleidoscope of color is strikingly beautiful against the paleness of Levi’s skin. Erwin traces the marking slowly, moving towards the center leaving goose bumps in his wake.
He loses all rational thought. The need to sooth and console, to pull apart layer by layer the man in front of him. Levi knows every scar and flaw on his body. Shouldn’t he have the same pleasure? Before he knows it, lips replace the caresses of fingers. A soft scent of soap lingers but underneath that, the natural musk of Levi cuts through to Erwin’s senses. It’s intoxicating and Erwin’s finds himself drunk from his ministrations. A strained “Erwin” rips through his haze.
To be honest, it’s ironic. A man known for having a silver tongue, able to tug the purse strings of rich swine and inspire the hearts of soldiers on a path of voluntary sacrifice, is rendered speechless by this man. No, not just any man, but humanity’s strongest. His Levi he thinks to himself. A soft “please” breaks the silence of the room. Erwin makes eye contact as he slides from the chair onto his knees. Grey eyes blow wide, the significance of the gesture not lost on him. Erwin tries again. “Please.”
A few gifts will be posted within the next 24 hours. So stay tuned if you haven’t found your Secret Santa yet! If any gifts haven’t been posted by the end of tomorrow we are going to message the Secret Santas and their respective giftees. There are still a few potential drop-outs, so if anyone wants to volunteer as a back-up, hit us up. (Otherwise we will randomly pick someone from the back-up list.)
I tried to incorporate a few of the different things you asked for and I hope the end result is to your liking. Happy Holidays to you!
“You’re too reckless,” Levi grumbles and prods the blasted shoulder plate of Erwin’s mechanical arm. “Looks like the actual socket is damaged. I’m gonna have to remove parts of it. Gonna hurt like a bitch.”
Erwin smiles at that, but his good hand squeezes the edge of the pod ever so slightly.
“Well, I’m glad it’s you doing it. I’ll look forward to it.”
“Not funny, old man,” Levi mumbles in response and sticks a screw driver at the edge of where prosthetic connects with skin. Erwin draws in a sharp inhale, too sudden for him to try and cover up the pain. Levi sighs. Tearing parts out of the flesh and reattaching them back always hurts and he hasn’t even started yet.
“I should have been there with you,” he says and starts to disconnect the damaged arm from the socket. He already knows what answer to expect, but he’s going to try anyway. Last time they had this conversation Erwin’s arm was in a less sorry state.
“I told you I need you here,” the captain says, tone level. “You’re my best engineer. I can’t risk you on those kinds of operations when you’re not a hundred percent.”
“Yeah, I’m also your best fighter,” Levi counters - he’s not being cocky - he knows he is, and adds quieter, pointedly keeping his eyes on the burned wires and the ruined socket. “I hate it when you go out and come back with the thing being a mess and then I have to fix it. I’d rather be there with you and not let it happen in the first place. It’s called preventive medicine, ever heard?”
“Not until we get the spare for your leg, you know the deal.” Erwin says, as unwilling to budge on the issue as he’s been for the past three weeks.
Levi frowns.
His prosthetic leg was blasted two raids ago and has been malfunctioning since. He hates being grounded like that, but he was too reckless with it in the first place. With all their mechanical enhancements, it’s too easy to forget that they are still far from invincible or immortal. Still, he doesn’t regret saving that rookie, even if his leg was smashed. Kids these days, the more wide-eyed and enamored with the idea of changing the world they are, the more utterly unprepared for the actual battle.
He was able to patch it up afterwards but it’s not fully combat ready and they don’t have all the required parts on the ship. Erwin ordered him to wait until they find a safe opening to dock somewhere at a major station and sneak out to procure parts for the full repair. Being on the Union watch list of most dangerous, shoot-on-sight rebels does come with its disadvantages. No going out for casual drinks for them any time soon.
He’s always found it weird though, that when it comes to it Erwin always ends up prioritizing his engineering skills over other things. Levi can’t say he could ever follow Erwin’s line of reasoning on that.
It's not like he was born with a remarkable talent or anything. Everything’s always been out of necessity.
The shithole of a planet he came from wasn’t exactly a great place to be a tiny disabled orphan. He had to pick up engineering because that was the only way to survive. Although ‘engineering’ sounds too big of a word for a scavenged assembly of mismatched parts that was his first leg. Levi hated the fit and it was ugly and dirty, but it functioned more often than it didn’t and that was enough.
Same could be said about his fighting skills. It wasn’t natural talent or physical advantage that made him so dangerous to face in combat. It was his relentlessness, good instincts, and ability to think on his feet.
Use what you can, keep at it till it works, don’t let anyone look down on you.
He thought it was that that made Erwin approach him to be recruited in the first place, but he was quite surprised to discover that Erwin decided to single out his engineering skills instead. ‘Did you build this?’ was the first thing he asked Levi and pointed at his leg. Levi gaped.
He’d never really considered working on other people’s body parts before joining the cause. Or, in retrospect, maybe he just hadn’t had anyone trust him enough to do it before Erwin.
Levi sighs and fully disconnects the mechanical arm from the socket. Now that he gets the full view the thing looks even more damaged that he assumed. It’s going to be a pain and it’s gonna take hours to rebuild. And here some deep part of him naively hoped that they’d actually maybe get a little bit of downtime after all this. Should have known better.
Erwin was gone for four days on this last one and that equals to ten years of anxious tea drinking and scrubbing the ship’s hallways in Levi’s time.
The plan was to take one of the shuttles down to recruit a group that’s been engaging the Union forces out on F673, with the main ship staying hidden and away from the orbit. Erwin never completely trusted the gang, and was right to do so, but he had to try. They always have to try. That’s the times they live in.
In the end, the negotiations failed and they were attacked and Erwin’s arm was blasted to pieces.
Even though he hates to admit it, a part of Levi understands Erwin’s reasoning for not letting him dispatch. He trusts Erwin and the plan, but even so he still can’t help feeling on edge not being out there with him, not being able to do anything, especially when the results turn out to be as shitty as they did this last mission. If this has to continue any further he’ll be out of his emergency tea supplies soon too. Who know what he’ll do then.
“We do have Hanji, you know?” He says as a last-ditch effort at making Erwin reconsider. His leg might not be a hundred percent, but he thinks he can mostly handle it. It’s been through worse situations in his lifetime, and there is another engineer on the ship whose knowledge and education Levi considers to be far superior to his own.
Erwin sighs.
“Hanji has other jobs to concentrate on, you should already know that, and they are not a replacement for you,” he says and puts his remaining, flesh hand on Levi’s real knee. Levi pauses his prodding of the socket. The warmth of skin seeps through the fabric and Erwin’s tone changes unexpectedly, to something softer, something less like a ship captain, fighting a partisan war against corrupt Union, to more like the mysterious man Levi gets to see sometimes in the quiet hours when his doors are closed and most of the crew is asleep.
“Besides,” Erwin leans in and his warm breath ghosts over Levi’s cheek. “You’re the one most intimately familiar with all parts of me.”
Levi’s breath catches. What is Erwin trying to do? The hand on his knee moves ever so slightly, warm fingers wide and strong over the fabric of his suit. Levi’s eyelashes dip. What persuasive distraction. Erwin has always been good at those.
They can’t though, not right now. Not with a screwdriver in his hand and a bunch of exposed connectors on Erwin’s shoulder.
“Whatever you’re trying to do, we gotta fix your arm first, you know it, shitty captain,” he murmurs, warm all over, and pulls away slowly. He has to put some distance between them right this second or the arm won’t get worked on for hours.
“It can wait,” Erwin cuts him mid-motion, and Levi stops, surprised, with their faces level, just in time to be caught like a rabbit in the captain’s eyes. How is he supposed to say no to that and look away now?
Erwin leans in once again, slowly. His lips find Levi’s jawline and plant a tentative kiss. It’s a distraction from their previous conversation, Levi knows. Knows, but his lips part with a soft exhale and his head tilts all on its own. He couldn’t stop it if he tried.
Damn Erwin, always knows what to do, always finds what to say to make him melt right there and do whatever he wants him to. Levi scoots closer, argument temporarily abandoned.
He never wins these things, or anything Erwin doesn’t want him to, he realizes in between kisses. But it’s not like he minds terribly. He’s long accepted the order of things between them. Besides… How long has it been since they kissed like that? And how long will it be till they are able to again? With the way things have been going recently, he might as well allow himself be distracted, if only for a few moments.
“I’m putting you under right after this, you get it?” He whispers, trying to catch his breath, as Erwin’s hand works its way past his belt and Erwin’s lips are on his neck.
“Hmm,” Erwin hums in response, amused.
“And I’m gonna do all kinds of painful things to you when you’re asleep. You’re gonna be so fucking sore when you wake up,” Levi tries to sound like he means it. That makes Erwin chuckle.
“Why don’t you try when I’m awake instead?” He murmurs while planting a trail of kisses on Levi’s collarbone. The joke makes Levi’s face flare up. How do these things always backfire? He can’t even joke-threaten the guy without it being turned on him immediately.
Some unabashed part of him gets infected with the idea for a split second though. His brain gets flooded with images of things that are absolutely inappropriate to do to an injured person, to his captain, but still are oh so, so what Levi would call ‘not entirely terrible, something he might want to do some time, given the right circumstances’ kinds of things, and at that his body lights with fire and he’s both ashamed and exhilarated by the instant pull of it. He squeezes his eyes shut. This is not that place and not that time, he has to think of the arm first. Damn Erwin stirring these things in him. Does he even know?
That’s it, he decides, no more talking, no more thinking, grabs the back of Erwin’s neck, pulls him in and kisses him full mouth. No more talking, Erwin seems to agree and guides Levi’s on top of him. His arm is too useless to do it any other way.
The lights in the second maintenance room, aka Levi’s quarters dim. He watches the stars shine quietly outside the ship as Erwin sleeps peacefully in the pod, recovering from the socket reattachment.
Levi blew his own chances at peaceful night rest when he decided to do the procedure right after their unexpected bit of love-making. His body was warm and lax, but his mind was still sharp and he went all out on his earlier promise to knock Erwin out. Not the pain part though, he tried to be as gentle as he could, Erwin has already had too much as is.
Levi runs his hand along the seam where the socket is newly reattached to flesh, moves up, touches Erwin’s neck, his warm cheek that’s beginning to grow stubble, adjusts the lose strand of blond hair on his forehead, sighs quietly. Erwin will be asleep for hours. He made sure of that. Now, maybe there’s something he still hasn’t tried about that leg.
This is my Eruri Secret Santa for @bluecravat ! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it for you!
When Levi first was called Humanity’s Strongest, it was by a fellow Survey Corps member whom he had saved by taking down a twenty meter abnormal. The nickname had soon spread throughout the Corps, and from there, it only made sense that the civilians were using it.
“Humanity’s Strongest,” they would whisper reverently, craning their necks to spot him in the long lines of Corps members marching out to their deaths. “I wonder how many he’ll take down this time?”
There had, of course, been mass confusion when the nickname was first becoming popular among the civilians. The people were looking for someone tall and dignified, someone who looked strong. They weren’t expecting Levi.
Levi knew that at first glance, he didn’t meet the criteria to be the strongest. He was foul-mouthed and short, not at all how most people would picture someone capable of taking down as many titans as he did. “That can’t be Humanity’s Strongest,” some had said. “He doesn’t look very strong.”
But Levi’s comrades had kept singing his praises, and soon enough, the citizens began to believe. After all, there was no way the entirety of the Survey Corps would be lying about the same thing, even if they were crazy enough to traverse outside the walls.
Levi, for his part, hated the nickname. He hadn’t wanted this life. Sure, he’d dreamed of living on the surface, but never in his wildest imagination had he dreamed that he would be considered a hero to mankind. Him - a thug and a murderer who joined the Survey Corps under false pretenses, to kill Erwin Smith and earn citizenships for Farlan, Isabel, and himself. Now, though, he was involved in the struggle for humanity and often had to go to Sina with Erwin to procure funding for expeditions.
Usually, Levi didn’t mind as long as he wasn’t left to suffer alone, and most times, he was able to follow Erwin around. There were the exceptions, however, when Erwin was called away from a party in order to reply to a letter from headquarters, and Levi had to then step up and take over. This was one of those rare times, and Levi was not happy. They had recently come back from an expedition that had resulted in more casualties than normal, and Levi was stuck answering questions about why the Corps was necessary.
It was another two hours before Levi had been able to sneak out and head back to the inn. By that time, he was in a foul mood, only made worse by the rain that was falling. He found his way to the inn, wandering down the hallway until he found the room that he and Erwin were sharing.
The door slammed shut with a bang, and Levi winced. He hadn’t meant to close it that hard, and he was sure that he would hear about it from the innkeeper in the morning. He was just so pissed that he could hardly think straight. Leaning against the door, he tilted his head back and let out a long sigh.
Paper rustling caught Levi’s attention, and he looked over to see Erwin sitting on a chair by the bed. Erwin set aside the letters he’d been reading, leaned his elbows on his knees, and focused on Levi.
Levi thought about not saying anything, just shoving all of this down as he tended to most of the time. But something about the way that Erwin was staring at him with those blue, blue eyes crumbled Levi’s defenses, and he found himself speaking before he could stop himself.
“I didn’t sign up for this shit,” Levi spat, grey eyes flashing.
“I know,” Erwin replied calmly.
Levi averted his gaze at that. Of course Erwin wasn’t going to apologize. There was no need for Erwin to apologize. Levi knew that. He knew that whatever Erwin did was for the good of humanity, even if it meant going to the Underground and dragging a criminal meant to kill him into the Survey Corps. That was who Erwin was. He spoke the truth - held certain things back at times - and never apologized.
“Levi, look at me.”
Reluctantly, Levi glanced up. Erwin had moved to stand directly before him, and Levi had to tilt his head way back in order to see him. Erwin, Levi mused, should be Humanity’s Strongest, should be the one who had his praises sung, instead of Levi.
Erwin’s brows were furrowed, and his blue eyes were tainted with something akin to regret, as much regret as Erwin could show, anyway. “Levi,” Erwin began, “I can’t say -”
Levi placed one hand flat on Erwin’s chest and pushed, hissing through gritted teeth, “Then shut up, you bastard.”
Before Levi could do anything else, Erwin grabbed his wrist with one hand and spun him around, trapping Levi’s arm behind his back and pulling him close to his chest. Quickly, Erwin took hold of Levi’s other arm, then transferred his grip so he was holding both of Levi’s wrists in one hand. Levi struggled against his grasp until Erwin covered Levi’s eyes with his free hand, whispering into his ear, “Hush now, Levi. Just relax.”
Immediately, all of the fight drained out of Levi, and he slumped forward, resting all of his weight against Erwin’s chest with a heavy sigh. His head didn’t even reach Erwin’s shoulders, and if he tilted his head to the left, he could hear the other man’s calm heartbeat, opposite of his own rapid one.
“I’ve got you,” Erwin whispered. He removed his hold on Levi’s wrists, allowing his arms to hang limply by his side, then trailed his hand down Levi’s spine. Even more tension dissipated from Levi’s body with an intense shiver. “There we go. Just relax.”
Levi loved these moments. He didn’t have to worry about anything because Erwin was there and knew what he needed. Erwin never let him down, even if things were going to hell around them.
Erwin turned Levi around to face him before pressing him against the door and shoving a thigh between his legs. He bent down slightly, intense gaze boring into Levi’s before traveling lower to his lips. Levi arched onto his tiptoes, but even that wasn’t enough to reach Erwin’s lips for a kiss. With a growl, Levi grabbed the bolo tie and yanked Erwin down, opening his mouth to allow access for a deeper kiss. It was at times like this that their height difference became very obvious, as well as uncomfortable, with Levi having to stretch up and Erwin having to bend down. Without missing a beat, Erwin slid his hands down Levi’s sides to hook under his thighs and lifted him up, Levi instinctively wrapping his legs around Erwin’s waist.
They stayed that way for a few minutes, Levi’s hands tugging at Erwin’s hair, until the other man set Levi down with one last kiss. “Undress and lay down,” Erwin commanded, then stepped away from Levi and sat on the chair, crossing one leg over the other.
Levi did as he was told, sensing Erwin’s gaze on him the entire time. Only when Levi was laying down did Erwin move, climbing onto the bed to lean over him. Over the next hour, Erwin took Levi apart with words breathed heavily into his ear and touches that were rough yet gentle, and then pieced him back together the same way. Levi clung to Erwin, nails scoring deep scratches down his back, as Erwin moved inside of him. Their breaths mingled when they panted heavily between biting kisses, and Levi arched his back, a low moan leaving his lips, when Erwin’s cock pressed against his prostate. It wasn’t long after that before Levi spilled between their bellies, clenching tightly around Erwin as the pleasure overwhelmed him. Erwin followed a moment later, his hips pressed flush against Levi’s, their tongues curling around each other.
Carefully, Erwin lowered himself on top of Levi, and the smaller man’s mouth quirked into a smirk. He could recall times when Erwin had hesitated to rest his full weight on Levi, a fact which Levi had been quick to correct. He could handle Erwin’s weight. He wasn’t some weakling. He was…
Humanity’s Strongest.
“Levi.”
Erwin’s harsh tone snapped Levi from his thoughts, and he realized that he’d inadvertently stiffened, jaw clenching. He forced himself to relax by focusing on one group of muscles at a time, and soon, he was once again boneless underneath Erwin.
Erwin propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at Levi with a barely perceptible frown on his face. “You should rest,” he said, and though it looked like he wanted to say more, he only pulled slowly from Levi, drawing a hiss from him, and padded naked to the bathroom.
Levi stayed on his back and stared at the ceiling, unmoving even as Erwin returned with a damp cloth and wiped their semen away, returning the cloth to the bathroom before blowing out the lamp on the bedside table. He then slid into bed and tugged up a light sheet around the both of them. Levi’s head lolled to the side, and he locked eyes with Erwin, neither of them looking away for a few heartbeats. It was Levi, in the end, who broke contact and rolled so that his back was towards Erwin. He couldn’t stand to see that almost pitying look in Erwin’s eyes. He closed his own eyes and evened out his breathing, but he didn’t resist when Erwin wrapped an arm around his waist and dragged him close, burying his face in Levi’s neck. Levi lifted his hand and touched Erwin’s, an acceptance to the silent apology Erwin gave.
“Levi,” Erwin breathed quietly, and in the way that Erwin whispered it, Levi knew that Erwin was saying much more than just his name.
“I know, Erwin,” Levi murmured back, his heart so fucking full of love for the other man that he thought he was going to burst. “Now go to sleep, old man.” He heard Erwin snort before tugging Levi even closer, and Levi hooked his ankle over Erwin’s calf in response.
It was only when he heard Erwin’s soft snores that Levi filled the quiet room with the words he truly wanted to say. “I’m a soldier, Erwin,” he whispered. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I know the risks. All I can do… All we can do is what we have been doing - fight, consequences be fucking damned.” Even if that meant that Levi would forever be hailed as a hero and have the hope of all mankind resting on his shoulders.
This fluffy fic is my Eruri Secret Santa gift for @danchou-smith! Your wish list left me open to a lot of options, and I’ve chosen the domestic fluff/humour route (with a tint of smut, of course)... I haven’t written in a long, long while so I’m rusty, but I hope you liked it~ Happy holidays, love :) *Also on AO3
Title: “hello fuck off, i’m erwin”
Ratings: M
Summary:
“I’m an editor now, but I used to work at a calendar factory,” Erwin says, popping a chip into his mouth. “I got sacked.”
Levi’s interest is piqued. “Why?” He asks, curious.
Erwin glances up from his plate, smirking like he’s up to no good. “Because I took a couple of days off,” he says, snickering as if something is so funny.
Levi doesn’t get it.
(or Levi meets the fabled oh-so-perfect Erwin Smith and instantly learns that he’s not always what he seems. He falls in love anyway)
---
“Listen,” Hange says, excitement evident on her face as she leans forward, encroaching into Levi’s space. Levi can already guess what she is going to talk about; she’s been harping on it for days. “I have this friend, you know? That tall blonde guy I went to college with? I was talking about you that day and he’s interested to know more about you.”
“Mike said he smells nice. Wonderful, even.”
“And why the hell should that convince me?!”
“You know how Mike is! He can smell evil from miles away!” Hange swings her arms in an exaggerated gesture and Levi sighs, feeling a headache coming.“I’m telling you, Erwin’s a great guy. Almost impeccable if not for—“ She pauses, as if suddenly remembering something, then brushes it off “Nevermind, just meet him once, please?”
“No.”
“I’ll make my students stay back to clean the classrooms and the office everyday for a month?”
Levi considers, and then- “Deal.”
And that’s how Levi ends up in a family restaurant across the street, on a set-up meeting (not a date) with the one and only Erwin Smith.
Erwin Smith is, to put it simply, insanely attractive. His flawless appearance might be intimidating to some people, but to Levi, nothing turns him on more than a calm and collected man who knows how to keep his suits crease-free and hair perfectly in place. The height is a very much appreciated bonus –the first time Levi hears that they have a good 1’ between them he almost drags the guy straight to bed. Almost.
Throughout their not-date, Levi slowly learns more about Erwin, and with each passing second, he’s solidifying Hange’s claim that he’s Mr. Perfect. Levi can’t believe his luck. But come to think of it… Hange did blurt something about Erwin, right?
“I’m an editor now, but I used to work at a calendar factory,” Erwin says, popping a chip into his mouth. “I got sacked.”
Levi’s interest is piqued. “Why?” He asks, curious.
Erwin glances up from his plate, smirking like he’s up to no good. “Because I took a couple of days off,” he says, snickering as if something is so funny.
Levi doesn’t get it. He replays what Erwin said in his head. ‘I got sacked from a calendar factory because I took some days off—‘
Wow.
“That was… awful,” he deadpans. “You in charge of Reader’s Digest jokes section or something?”
“Economics, actually. But I dabble,” Erwin smirks. Levi wants to punch his face at how beautiful he looks. “
So this is it. This was what Hange had almost let slip. Erwin Smith’s flaw is that he makes terrible jokes. And not just any jokes, he makes… dad jokes.
Uh oh.
“So?” Hange claps a hand on his back when she runs into him the next day. Levi knows she wants to talk, but he doesn’t.
“So what?” He snaps, pressing the red pen onto one of his students’ book so hard that it pokes through it. He looks at the front page. Eren Jaeger. Tough luck, kid.
Hange’s still starry-eyed, ignoring Levi’s distress. “So… with Erwiiiinnn? How’d it go?”
“Mostly amazing but…” Levi replies, pointing an accusatory finger at Hange. “You knew.”
“That he has a dreadful sense of humour? Yeah,” Hange chuckles, shaking her head. “But other than that, isn’t he just your type?” She grins. “Admit it, you’d totally climb him like a tree.”
He’s suddenly reminded of Erwin’s exasperatingly hot physique and shit, that’s a thought he doesn’t need when he has a class to teach in ten.
“Do you think you guys will work out?” Hange asks. Levi closes his eyes and replies, “We’ll see.”
And they work out just fine, it seems. The subsequent dates go well (yes, he can call them dates now), and even though Erwin still sometimes say shit like “Did you hear about the chef, Levi? He pasta away” while they’re eating fucking pasta, Levi is willing to put it past him, especially since he gets to shut Erwin up nicely by riding his dick to oblivion after a particularly flirty night.
Mike smiles knowingly (note, creepily) when Hange and him hangs out on the weekend, and really, who cares about the teasing when Erwin’s such a fantastic fuck?
He has never thought it’d come to this, but somehow one thing leads to another and Levi moves in with Erwin after a year and a half of being together.
The place they get is in a gated neighbourhood, homely and convenient for them both, more so for Levi as the school he works at is within walking distance. Erwin still has to drive to his office, which is not a problem as his job sometimes entails driving around to meetings anyway.
Living with Erwin is surprisingly easy to get used to. They fall into a comfortable routine without much hassles, and life is going really, really great.
But if there’s something Levi has trouble with, it’s Erwin’s work timing.
Erwin’s job as a senior editor should be less taxing than it is currently, considering that he is now rather high up in the food chain. He’s well-respected in the industry, a favourite among the crowd for both his talents and charm; he no longer needs to work his ass off day and night to prove his worth.
Except it’s Erwin we’re talking about. He has always been a bit of an workaholic, not accepting anything less than perfect for the pieces he approve, and that results in him working extra hours, even on the weekends.
It’s not ideal, of course, but Levi manages.
Today is a rare but welcomed occurrence. For the first time in a while, Levi wakes up to Erwin’s broad chest smothering his face, warmth engulfing him in a bone-crushing embrace. He inhales the musky scent that he’s come to love, and runs a hand along Erwin’s strong back, scraping his nails on purpose. He’s sated from last night and still feels floaty and disgustingly happy.
Erwin stirs, eyes still closed. “Morning,” he mumbles.
Levi’s reply is a muffled ‘hmmm’ as he buries his face deeper into the comforting touch. He throws a leg over Erwin’s larger ones under the covers and contemplates sleeping in, before something suddenly crosses his mind.
“What’s wrong?” Erwin asks, plush lips settling on the side of Levi’s head.
“It’s Saturday. We have to take out the trash.”
Erwin groans and draws Levi closer, to his vocal protest. “Can’t we do that another day?”
“And let the maggots breed? No fucking way.” Levi struggles viciously against the hold and breaks free, making his way out of the bedroom. For the lack of better things to do now that the other side of the bed is empty, Erwin reluctantly follows.
Once they’re done with the trash (Levi makes Erwin clean the bin to make up for all the times he had to do it alone), Erwin pleads. “There. Now can we go back inside and cuddle?”
They don’t, in fact, go back inside and cuddle. Instead, Erwin finds himself with a shopping list in a grocery store, crouching in Aisle 5 searching for honey. Levi’s off somewhere to settle the other half of the list, and they agree to meet up at the check-out after twenty minutes.
They don’t get much, after all it’s only the two of them (for now, a voice in Levi’s head says). The cashier, a kid with close-shaved head scans the milk and beams cheerfully at them.
“Would you like your milk in a bag, sir?”
Levi swears he sees it; the mischievous glint in Erwin’s eyes when the cashier asks the question. He cannot anticipate yet what he’s going to say –his mind isn’t as fast as Erwin’s when it comes to this- but he knows it is going to be nothing short of a disaster. Before Levi can kick him in back of the knee in a desperate attempt to rescue their dignities, Erwin has already opened his mouth to speak. Shit, too late. Oh well, at least the kid has to hear this too.
“No thanks, please leave it in the jug!”
Silence.
Erwin grins.
God, Levi wants to die.
He’s so sure that almost everyone within the vicinity had heard that, because Erwin had made it a point to say it with a loud, booming voice. That only happens when he is confident enough that his joke is funny, which is why the current situation is even more painful because absolutely no one is laughing.
Or so Levi thinks.
The kid (‘Connie’, his nametag reads) starts biting his bottom lip, face contorting into a mixture of constipation and holding back a wet fart. Connie’s shoulders are shaking visibly now, grip on the bread he’s scanning tightening (RIP bread), and it’s not long before Levi realizes that he is actually stifling a laugh. A giggle or two escapes him, then all of a sudden, Connie throws his head back and roars in laughter, hitting the counter repeatedly to emphasise just how funny he found that joke. The two young ladies behind them are also covering her face with their hands, probably concealing their own giggles. Erwin is undoubtedly very pleased with himself, glancing back and forth between Connie and Levi as if saying ‘hey look at that, I’m so funny right’ but Levi is not having any of that.
He sends a piercing glare at Connie, who upon seeing Levi’s murderous face resumes scanning the items at the speed of light. They pay, grab the bags and leave the shop in record three minutes twenty seconds
“You scared him!” Erwin says disapprovingly once they reach the parking lot, loading the bags into the car.
Levi jabs Erwin in the hip sharply, reveling in Erwin’s yelp of pain. He rearranges the bags so they fit and slams the trunk shut. “And you embarrassed me.”
“Awww come on, you loved it!”
“Save your dad jokes from when you actually become one.”
Levi can almost feel the world stopping the second he says it. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to come out! He freezes up, and he wants to run away because he knows Erwin will ask about it but he’s trapped in the car
“Levi,” Erwin carefully places a hand on his thigh, a sign that he’s not gonna let this go so easily. “Are you saying you wanna have kids with me?”
“Don’t spin my words, bastard.”
“Do you?” Erwin has a small smile playing on his lips. He is now staring at him like he’s his world, bright blue eyes so fond and tender and holy shit, Levi thinks, I’m really in love with this guy.
“Maybe,” He mutters, gazing outside the window to hide his face, worried of what kind of vulnerable expression he must be doing right now. “Someday.”
After that ‘Carpark Confession’ incident (no thanks Hange for the name), Erwin is visibly more affectionate than before. He steals more kisses from Levi than the norm, and his touches linger a lot, but at least he doesn’t bring it up anymore. Levi takes that as a sign that Erwin understands that he can see them having a future together, which is definitely more than enough. A typical day in their life now goes like this:
“Hey love,” Erwin sets a cup of tea on the table, leaning down to kiss the top of Levi’s head fondly. “How’s your day?”
Levi mutters a soft ‘thanks’ and lifts the cup by the brim, bringing it close to his lips. “They changed the janitor to one that can actually do his job… at least half of the class submitted their homework… and Hange blew up only one test tube instead of the usual five. So, ‘s okay, I guess.” He takes a sip from the tea and marvels in how it’s delicious as always, just the right amount of warmth and sweetness. Erwin’s not a big fan of tea, but boy does he make a good cup.
“Mmmm,” Erwin hums in content, engrossed in reading a magazine. “I got complimented on my driving today,” he says, nonchalant.
At that, Levi’s eyes narrow. Erwin drives like he’s chasing a flight or trying to escape assassins all the time, there’s no way somebody finds that kind of road skills praiseworthy. He turns to face Erwin, who is still avoiding any eye contact. Something’s not right. “Oh really.”
“Yeah, really.” Closing the magazine, Erwin stands up in a subtle hurry that doesn’t escape Levi’s attention. He’s already halfway across the room when he continues. “They left a little note saying ‘parking fine’.”
“Erwin,” Levi growls, expression darkening. “Did you get a ticket again.”
“Oh is that what it meant?” Erwin feigns innocence, laughing nervously. “I thought they were complime--” He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence before he bolts up the stairs hysterically, a fuming Levi hot on his tails.
Levi has been away from home for the past week for the annual Sina High team-building camp he’s forced to go as one of the class teachers. He’s convinced the whole bullshit is unnecessary and an utter waste of time, but Principal Pixis insisted that everyone attends and Levi wasn’t in a mood to argue.
So… a week apart from Erwin. The longest they’ve spent apart was four days, when Erwin had to go on a short business trip to Canada. One week is just three days added to that, they should be fine, right?
Right.
There’s a problem though.
He’s horny. So painfully horny.
Before he’d left for the trip, they have not been able to have much sex as Erwin’s sister was in town and had crashed at their house for a few days. So it’s really been two weeks since him and Erwin last fucked, which is downright insane considering how insatiable they both usually are.
Levi tries it with his fingers on one of the nights but it just isn’t the same. It feels good, but nothing like what Erwin offers when he slowly, carefully fingers him open, getting him ready for his cock. Erwin’s just… fills him up nicer and hits him in all the right places, and Levi is almost sobbing with frustration as he chases a weak release alone.
He gets home the next evening, thinking that he can finally get his fill of Erwin again. He opens the door ready to pounce, only to be greeted with an empty house.
Erwin’s working late again.
Levi sighs in disappointment, grudgingly heading towards their room, hoping that he will be back soon.
The rattle of keys wakes him up with a jerk. Desire and excitement coursing through his veins, Levi practically zooms down the stairs, and the instance Erwin appears at the door, Levi tackles and drags him down onto the floor, suitcase and work files be damned. They fall with a thud in a heap of tangled limbs, in the middle of the hallway that has not been swept and mopped for a week. Damn it. He should probably move this to the bedroom where it’s much more hygienic and conducive, but Levi doesn’t think he can stand another minute not having Erwin’s dick in him without spontaneously combusting.
“I’m so fucking horny right now,” Levi hisses, fingers scrambling to clumsily undo the buttons of Erwin’s black coat. He gets to the third button when Erwin chooses that moment to sit up, pressing his growing hard-on into Levi’s bottom in the process, earning a loud filthy moan from the man. “Shit, Erwin,” Levi pants, breathless.
“Levi, what’s gotten into you?” Erwin says, sliding his nimble hands under Levi’s shirt, leaving feathery touches in their wake.
“You, I hope. Preferably right now,” Levi replies, tossing away the coat haphazardly. It lands a little too close to the foot of the stairs, but he can’t care less. Ignoring Erwin’s chuckle, he tears hungrily at the tailored shirt, relishing in the sound of the buttons hitting the floor. He licks a stripe from Erwin’s collarbone down to the top of his pants, tasting the sweat on his heated flesh. “Stop laughing like an idiot and get on to it.”
Erwin is certainly more than happy to oblige. He eagerly helps rid Levi of his pants and watches in awe as Levi’s erection springs free, already red and straining for release.
“You’ve got a lot pent up,” Erwin grumbles, leaning down to blow onto the tip of Levi’s length, coaxing a grunt out of him. “Look at you… So needy like this.” He sneaks a hand behind and slips a finger into Levi’s ass, eyes widening at the realization that he’s already wet and open.
“You’re late. I had to prepare myself,” Levi gasps as Erwin reinserts his finger, playing with the rim of his entrance. His body arches in unabashed pleasure and he can’t fight the carnal urge to push back against Erwin, grinding against him frantically. “Wanted your cock so bad,” he whines.
“Fucking hell, Levi.”
Erwin surges forward to catch Levi’s lips in a frenzied kiss, never letting him go more than a few seconds as he slicks himself up and enters Levi, basking in the obscene sounds of skin hitting skin.
Somewhere between Erwin eating his come out of Levi’s ass and Levi greedily lapping at Erwin’s spent cock, they make it to the bedroom to continue where things are left off, and after both their bodies ache delightfully from the hours and hours of incessant lovemaking, they lay together in silence, catching their breaths.
Levi is thoroughly satisfied and is about drift to a peaceful sleep when he feels Erwin’s big hand caress the back of his neck. He opens his eyes and there he is, grinning cheekily.
“Hey Levi, do you know the difference between a frog and a horny toad?” Oh no. Here it comes. “A frog says ‘ribbit, ribbit’, a horny toad says ‘rub it, rub it’.”
The smug look on his stupid face as he wiggles those godawful eyebrows makes Levi want nothing more than to rip them off and turn them into a doormat. Or a hand towel, Levi hasn’t decided yet.
For now, he settles for smacking the pillow hard into Erwin’s face, yelling at him to go to sleep.
It’s Christmas Eve, also so creatively coined ‘Levi’s Birthday Eve’ by Hange.
Levi’s busy preparing drinks in the kitchen for the party they’ll throw later tonight when his phone buzzes in his pocket, begging for attention. Thinking it’s one of the guys bailing out on the party or asking for directions, he checks it but is puzzled by the caller’s name on the screen.
It’s Erwin.
The guy is literally in the living room, setting up the table.
Levi picks up anyway, knowing that this is just one of Erwin’s demented method of flirting. He’s done this before, once or twice when he’s bored. Levi would humour him if they have the time, but the party is starting soon and they still have some preparations pending. “Why are you calling me?”
“Oh I don’t know…” Hmm, that’s strange. Erwin’s deep voice feels close, like he’s in the same room standing behind him. There’s also a nervous edge to it, which is unbecoming of the usually calm man. “Just felt like-“ Levi hears him both over the phone and in the other ear now. “-giving you a ring.”
Levi turns around sharply and sees Erwin, holding a phone in one hand and hiding the other behind him. He’s about to ask him to quit messing around when Erwin swiftly drops to one knee and holds out a box.
Levi stares, mouth agape.
“You’re fucking kidding me.”
“Knock, knock,” Erwin says, causing Levi to frown. A knock-knock joke, really?
“Erwin what the fuck—“
“Knock. Knock.” He repeats pointedly, sounding almost completely serious if not for the sheer absurdity of the joke and the situation itself.
Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Levi relents. Erwin is on his knee in front of him, looking like whatever Levi says next will either make or break him, and he can’t help but to play along. “Who’s there?”
“Mary.”
Levi’s breath hitches. He knows exactly where this is going. His heart is already going at a thousand miles an hour, threatening to leap right out of his chest, and there’s a lump stuck in his throat but he somehow manages to find his voice.
“Mary who?” He says, still staring down at Erwin though his vision is getting foggy.
Erwin’s lips curve up in a gentle smile, the one that always knocks all air out of Levi’s lungs and makes him want to drop everything to be with him. “Marry me.” He takes one of Levi’s hand into his own and presses a small kiss onto the knuckles, whispering, “Please?”
It’s cheesier than the lasagna they had for lunch -and that’s saying a lot because Erwin had made it with enough mozzarella to make at least three large pizzas, urgh- and a part of him kind of hates Erwin for pulling the stunt when he least expected it, on the Christmas Eve no less. But there is nothing in the world he wants more than to have the fleeting glimpse of Erwin’s face the moment he says ‘yes’ and pulls him in for a kiss be burned into his memories forever.
Oh, Levi thinks as he looks at the clock, remembering the party that’s happening in an hour. Hange and Mike’re gonna have a field day with this.
(Two months into their married life, when Levi asks when his appointment with the dentist is and Erwin answers with a casual “tooth hurt-y”, Levi realizes that he’s stuck with a relentless, irritatingly attractive middle-aged man with a penchant for horribly amusing dad jokes.
And the best part? He wouldn’t want it any other way.)
