death of ovaries

The writing blog of akickinthenuts. Goes by the same pseud on AO3 and FF. You probably know me from the Rinharu YouTube AU fic?? *If you'd like me to answer asks privately, just mention it! ^^ I also draw and write songs about my OTPs sometimes when I'm not dying in med school ;)

[makuroshi]

I will never ever shut up about how much I love Erwin Smith he is my EVERYTHING this may seem excessive or dramatic but I swear it's not I really ❤love❤ him THAT much

-Levi Ackerman, 2019

[makuroshi]

2013 eruri trash back from the dead

hey so uhhh... i’m back from the dead thanks to episode 55. It’s been 2 years since my last eruri fic, but i’m finally picking up writing again so maybe, just maybe we will see this Eruri 100 Themes project of mine be completed. I’ve never stopped shipping eruri though, 6 years passed and I’m still eruri trash, I just didn’t share my thoughts online. If anybody wants to scream about eruri with me please do so i need friends! :)

[tescoeverydayvalue]

I do not want to see him go up in flames     the way all heroes end up martyrs. (x)

my secret santa for @makuroshi ! i hope this is sad enough for what you wanted and not too vague lol

merry christmas!!! x

[makuroshi]

Hi love thank you for the pain!!!! I love torturing myself and this is just the perfect thing to do that :) at least erwin's peaceful in his long sleep...

I can't wait for his death to be animated so I can crawl into a hole and sob over it in HD

Merry christmas/happy holidays to you too! (Also i absolutely adore your blog name)

[makuroshi]

This fluffy fic is my Eruri Secret Santa gift for @danchou-smith! Your wish list left me open to a lot of options, and I’ve chosen the domestic fluff/humour route (with a tint of smut, of course)... I haven’t written in a long, long while so I’m rusty, but I hope you liked it~ Happy holidays, love :) *Also on AO3

Title: “hello fuck off, i’m erwin”

Ratings: M

Summary:

“I’m an editor now, but I used to work at a calendar factory,” Erwin says, popping a chip into his mouth. “I got sacked.”

Levi’s interest is piqued. “Why?” He asks, curious.

Erwin glances up from his plate, smirking like he’s up to no good. “Because I took a couple of days off,” he says, snickering as if something is so funny.

Levi doesn’t get it.

(or Levi meets the fabled oh-so-perfect Erwin Smith and instantly learns that he’s not always what he seems. He falls in love anyway)

---

“Listen,” Hange says, excitement evident on her face as she leans forward, encroaching into Levi’s space. Levi can already guess what she is going to talk about; she’s been harping on it for days. “I have this friend, you know? That tall blonde guy I went to college with? I was talking about you that day and he’s interested to know more about you.”

“Mike said he smells nice. Wonderful, even.”

“And why the hell should that convince me?!”

“You know how Mike is! He can smell evil from miles away!” Hange swings her arms in an exaggerated gesture and Levi sighs, feeling a headache coming.“I’m telling you, Erwin’s a great guy. Almost impeccable if not for—“ She pauses, as if suddenly remembering something, then brushes it off “Nevermind, just meet him once, please?”

“No.”

“I’ll make my students stay back to clean the classrooms and the office everyday for a month?”

Levi considers, and then- “Deal.”

And that’s how Levi ends up in a family restaurant across the street, on a set-up meeting (not a date) with the one and only Erwin Smith.

Erwin Smith is, to put it simply, insanely attractive. His flawless appearance might be intimidating to some people, but to Levi, nothing turns him on more than a calm and collected man who knows how to keep his suits crease-free and hair perfectly in place. The height is a very much appreciated bonus –the first time Levi hears that they have a good 1’ between them he almost drags the guy straight to bed. Almost.

Throughout their not-date, Levi slowly learns more about Erwin, and with each passing second, he’s solidifying Hange’s claim that he’s Mr. Perfect. Levi can’t believe his luck. But come to think of it… Hange did blurt something about Erwin, right?

“I’m an editor now, but I used to work at a calendar factory,” Erwin says, popping a chip into his mouth. “I got sacked.”

Levi’s interest is piqued. “Why?” He asks, curious.

Erwin glances up from his plate, smirking like he’s up to no good. “Because I took a couple of days off,” he says, snickering as if something is so funny.

Levi doesn’t get it. He replays what Erwin said in his head. ‘I got sacked from a calendar factory because I took some days off—‘

Wow.

“That was… awful,” he deadpans. “You in charge of Reader’s Digest jokes section or something?”

“Economics, actually. But I dabble,” Erwin smirks. Levi wants to punch his face at how beautiful he looks. “

So this is it. This was what Hange had almost let slip. Erwin Smith’s flaw is that he makes terrible jokes. And not just any jokes, he makes… dad jokes.

Uh oh.

“So?” Hange claps a hand on his back when she runs into him the next day. Levi knows she wants to talk, but he doesn’t.

“So what?” He snaps, pressing the red pen onto one of his students’ book so hard that it pokes through it. He looks at the front page. Eren Jaeger. Tough luck, kid.

Hange’s still starry-eyed, ignoring Levi’s distress. “So… with Erwiiiinnn? How’d it go?”

“Mostly amazing but…” Levi replies, pointing an accusatory finger at Hange. “You knew.”

“That he has a dreadful sense of humour? Yeah,” Hange chuckles, shaking her head. “But other than that, isn’t he just your type?” She grins. “Admit it, you’d totally climb him like a tree.”

He’s suddenly reminded of Erwin’s exasperatingly hot physique and shit, that’s a thought he doesn’t need when he has a class to teach in ten.

“Do you think you guys will work out?” Hange asks. Levi closes his eyes and replies, “We’ll see.”

 And they work out just fine, it seems. The subsequent dates go well (yes, he can call them dates now), and even though Erwin still sometimes say shit like “Did you hear about the chef, Levi? He pasta away” while they’re eating fucking pasta, Levi is willing to put it past him, especially since he gets to shut Erwin up nicely by riding his dick to oblivion after a particularly flirty night.

Mike smiles knowingly (note, creepily) when Hange and him hangs out on the weekend, and really, who cares about the teasing when Erwin’s such a fantastic fuck?

He has never thought it’d come to this, but somehow one thing leads to another and Levi moves in with Erwin after a year and a half of being together.

The place they get is in a gated neighbourhood, homely and convenient for them both, more so for Levi as the school he works at is within walking distance. Erwin still has to drive to his office, which is not a problem as his job sometimes entails driving around to meetings anyway.

Living with Erwin is surprisingly easy to get used to. They fall into a comfortable routine without much hassles, and life is going really, really great.

But if there’s something Levi has trouble with, it’s Erwin’s work timing.

Erwin’s job as a senior editor should be less taxing than it is currently, considering that he is now rather high up in the food chain. He’s well-respected in the industry, a favourite among the crowd for both his talents and charm; he no longer needs to work his ass off day and night to prove his worth.

Except it’s Erwin we’re talking about. He has always been a bit of an workaholic, not accepting anything less than perfect for the pieces he approve, and that results in him working extra hours, even on the weekends.

It’s not ideal, of course, but Levi manages.

Today is a rare but welcomed occurrence. For the first time in a while, Levi wakes up to Erwin’s broad chest smothering his face, warmth engulfing him in a bone-crushing embrace. He inhales the musky scent that he’s come to love, and runs a hand along Erwin’s strong back, scraping his nails on purpose. He’s sated from last night and still feels floaty and disgustingly happy.

Erwin stirs, eyes still closed. “Morning,” he mumbles.

Levi’s reply is a muffled ‘hmmm’ as he buries his face deeper into the comforting touch. He throws a leg over Erwin’s larger ones under the covers and contemplates sleeping in, before something suddenly crosses his mind.

“What’s wrong?” Erwin asks, plush lips settling on the side of Levi’s head.

“It’s Saturday. We have to take out the trash.”

Erwin groans and draws Levi closer, to his vocal protest. “Can’t we do that another day?”

“And let the maggots breed? No fucking way.” Levi struggles viciously against the hold and breaks free, making his way out of the bedroom. For the lack of better things to do now that the other side of the bed is empty, Erwin reluctantly follows.

Once they’re done with the trash (Levi makes Erwin clean the bin to make up for all the times he had to do it alone), Erwin pleads. “There. Now can we go back inside and cuddle?”

 They don’t, in fact, go back inside and cuddle. Instead, Erwin finds himself with a shopping list in a grocery store, crouching in Aisle 5 searching for honey. Levi’s off somewhere to settle the other half of the list, and they agree to meet up at the check-out after twenty minutes.

They don’t get much, after all it’s only the two of them (for now, a voice in Levi’s head says). The cashier, a kid with close-shaved head scans the milk and beams cheerfully at them.

“Would you like your milk in a bag, sir?”

Levi swears he sees it; the mischievous glint in Erwin’s eyes when the cashier asks the question. He cannot anticipate yet what he’s going to say –his mind isn’t as fast as Erwin’s when it comes to this- but he knows it is going to be nothing short of a disaster. Before Levi can kick him in back of the knee in a desperate attempt to rescue their dignities, Erwin has already opened his mouth to speak.  Shit, too late. Oh well, at least the kid has to hear this too.

“No thanks, please leave it in the jug!”

 Silence.

Erwin grins.

God, Levi wants to die.

He’s so sure that almost everyone within the vicinity had heard that, because Erwin had made it a point to say it with a loud, booming voice. That only happens when he is confident enough that his joke is funny, which is why the current situation is even more painful because absolutely no one is laughing.

Or so Levi thinks.

The kid (‘Connie’, his nametag reads) starts biting his bottom lip, face contorting into a mixture of constipation and holding back a wet fart. Connie’s shoulders are shaking visibly now, grip on the bread he’s scanning tightening (RIP bread), and it’s not long before Levi realizes that he is actually stifling a laugh. A giggle or two escapes him, then all of a sudden, Connie throws his head back and roars in laughter, hitting the counter repeatedly to emphasise just how funny he found that joke. The two young ladies behind them are also covering her face with their hands, probably concealing their own giggles. Erwin is undoubtedly very pleased with himself, glancing back and forth between Connie and Levi as if saying ‘hey look at that, I’m so funny right’ but Levi is not having any of that.

He sends a piercing glare at Connie, who upon seeing Levi’s murderous face resumes scanning the items at the speed of light. They pay, grab the bags and leave the shop in record three minutes twenty seconds

“You scared him!” Erwin says disapprovingly once they reach the parking lot, loading the bags into the car.

Levi jabs Erwin in the hip sharply, reveling in Erwin’s yelp of pain. He rearranges the bags so they fit and slams the trunk shut. “And you embarrassed me.”

“Awww come on, you loved it!”

“Save your dad jokes from when you actually become one.”

Levi can almost feel the world stopping the second he says it. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to come out! He freezes up, and he wants to run away because he knows Erwin will ask about it but he’s trapped in the car

“Levi,” Erwin carefully places a hand on his thigh, a sign that he’s not gonna let this go so easily. “Are you saying you wanna have kids with me?”

“Don’t spin my words, bastard.”

“Do you?” Erwin has a small smile playing on his lips. He is now staring at him like he’s his world, bright blue eyes so fond and tender and holy shit, Levi thinks, I’m really in love with this guy.

“Maybe,” He mutters, gazing outside the window to hide his face, worried of what kind of vulnerable expression he must be doing right now. “Someday.”

After that ‘Carpark Confession’ incident (no thanks Hange for the name), Erwin is visibly more affectionate than before. He steals more kisses from Levi than the norm, and his touches linger a lot, but at least he doesn’t bring it up anymore. Levi takes that as a sign that Erwin understands that he can see them having a future together, which is definitely more than enough. A typical day in their life now goes like this:

“Hey love,” Erwin sets a cup of tea on the table, leaning down to kiss the top of Levi’s head fondly. “How’s your day?”

Levi mutters a soft ‘thanks’ and lifts the cup by the brim, bringing it close to his lips. “They changed the janitor to one that can actually do his job… at least half of the class submitted their homework… and Hange blew up only one test tube instead of the usual five. So, ‘s okay, I guess.” He takes a sip from the tea and marvels in how it’s delicious as always, just the right amount of warmth and sweetness. Erwin’s not a big fan of tea, but boy does he make a good cup.

“Mmmm,” Erwin hums in content, engrossed in reading a magazine. “I got complimented on my driving today,” he says, nonchalant.

At that, Levi’s eyes narrow. Erwin drives like he’s chasing a flight or trying to escape assassins all the time, there’s no way somebody finds that kind of road skills praiseworthy. He turns to face Erwin, who is still avoiding any eye contact. Something’s not right. “Oh really.”

“Yeah, really.” Closing the magazine, Erwin stands up in a subtle hurry that doesn’t escape Levi’s attention. He’s already halfway across the room when he continues. “They left a little note saying ‘parking fine’.”

“Erwin,” Levi growls, expression darkening. “Did you get a ticket again.”

“Oh is that what it meant?” Erwin feigns innocence, laughing nervously. “I thought they were complime--” He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence before he bolts up the stairs hysterically, a fuming Levi hot on his tails.

Levi has been away from home for the past week for the annual Sina High team-building camp he’s forced to go as one of the class teachers. He’s convinced the whole bullshit is unnecessary and an utter waste of time, but Principal Pixis insisted that everyone attends and Levi wasn’t in a mood to argue.

So… a week apart from Erwin. The longest they’ve spent apart was four days, when Erwin had to go on a short business trip to Canada. One week is just three days added to that, they should be fine, right?

Right.

There’s a problem though.

He’s horny. So painfully horny.

Before he’d left for the trip, they have not been able to have much sex as Erwin’s sister was in town and had crashed at their house for a few days. So it’s really been two weeks since him and Erwin last fucked, which is downright insane considering how insatiable they both usually are.

Levi tries it with his fingers on one of the nights but it just isn’t the same. It feels good, but nothing like what Erwin offers when he slowly, carefully fingers him open, getting him ready for his cock. Erwin’s just… fills him up nicer and hits him in all the right places, and Levi is almost sobbing with frustration as he chases a weak release alone.

He gets home the next evening, thinking that he can finally get his fill of Erwin again. He opens the door ready to pounce, only to be greeted with an empty house.

Erwin’s working late again.

Levi sighs in disappointment, grudgingly heading towards their room, hoping that he will be back soon.

The rattle of keys wakes him up with a jerk. Desire and excitement coursing through his veins, Levi practically zooms down the stairs, and the instance Erwin appears at the door, Levi tackles and drags him down onto the floor, suitcase and work files be damned. They fall with a thud in a heap of tangled limbs, in the middle of the hallway that has not been swept and mopped for a week. Damn it. He should probably move this to the bedroom where it’s much more hygienic and conducive, but Levi doesn’t think he can stand another minute not having Erwin’s dick in him without spontaneously combusting.

“I’m so fucking horny right now,” Levi hisses, fingers scrambling to clumsily undo the buttons of Erwin’s black coat. He gets to the third button when Erwin chooses that moment to sit up, pressing his growing hard-on into Levi’s bottom in the process, earning a loud filthy moan from the man. “Shit, Erwin,” Levi pants, breathless.

“Levi, what’s gotten into you?” Erwin says, sliding his nimble hands under Levi’s shirt, leaving feathery touches in their wake.

“You, I hope. Preferably right now,” Levi replies, tossing away the coat haphazardly. It lands a little too close to the foot of the stairs, but he can’t care less. Ignoring Erwin’s chuckle, he tears hungrily at the tailored shirt, relishing in the sound of the buttons hitting the floor. He licks a stripe from Erwin’s collarbone down to the top of his pants, tasting the sweat on his heated flesh. “Stop laughing like an idiot and get on to it.”

Erwin is certainly more than happy to oblige. He eagerly helps rid Levi of his pants and watches in awe as Levi’s erection springs free, already red and straining for release.

“You’ve got a lot pent up,” Erwin grumbles, leaning down to blow onto the tip of Levi’s length, coaxing a grunt out of him. “Look at you… So needy like this.” He sneaks a hand behind and slips a finger into Levi’s ass, eyes widening at the realization that he’s already wet and open.

“You’re late. I had to prepare myself,” Levi gasps as Erwin reinserts his finger, playing with the rim of his entrance. His body arches in unabashed pleasure and he can’t fight the carnal urge to push back against Erwin, grinding against him frantically. “Wanted your cock so bad,” he whines.

“Fucking hell, Levi.”

Erwin surges forward to catch Levi’s lips in a frenzied kiss, never letting him go more than a few seconds as he slicks himself up and enters Levi, basking in the obscene sounds of skin hitting skin. 

Somewhere between Erwin eating his come out of Levi’s ass and Levi greedily lapping at Erwin’s spent cock, they make it to the bedroom to continue where things are left off, and after both their bodies ache delightfully from the hours and hours of incessant lovemaking, they lay together in silence, catching their breaths.

Levi is thoroughly satisfied and is about drift to a peaceful sleep when he feels Erwin’s big hand caress the back of his neck. He opens his eyes and there he is, grinning cheekily.

“Hey Levi, do you know the difference between a frog and a horny toad?” Oh no. Here it comes. “A frog says ‘ribbit, ribbit’, a horny toad says ‘rub it, rub it’.”

The smug look on his stupid face as he wiggles those godawful eyebrows makes Levi want nothing more than to rip them off and turn them into a doormat. Or a hand towel, Levi hasn’t decided yet.

For now, he settles for smacking the pillow hard into Erwin’s face, yelling at him to go to sleep.

It’s Christmas Eve, also so creatively coined ‘Levi’s Birthday Eve’ by Hange.

Levi’s busy preparing drinks in the kitchen for the party they’ll throw later tonight when his phone buzzes in his pocket, begging for attention. Thinking it’s one of the guys bailing out on the party or asking for directions, he checks it but is puzzled by the caller’s name on the screen.

It’s Erwin.

The guy is literally in the living room, setting up the table.

Levi picks up anyway, knowing that this is just one of Erwin’s demented method of flirting. He’s done this before, once or twice when he’s bored. Levi would humour him if they have the time, but the party is starting soon and they still have some preparations pending. “Why are you calling me?”

“Oh I don’t know…” Hmm, that’s strange. Erwin’s deep voice feels close, like he’s in the same room standing behind him. There’s also a nervous edge to it, which is unbecoming of the usually calm man. “Just felt like-“ Levi hears him both over the phone and in the other ear now. “-giving you a ring.”

Levi turns around sharply and sees Erwin, holding a phone in one hand and hiding the other behind him. He’s about to ask him to quit messing around when Erwin swiftly drops to one knee and holds out a box.

Levi stares, mouth agape.

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“Knock, knock,” Erwin says, causing Levi to frown. A knock-knock joke, really?

“Erwin what the fuck—“

“Knock. Knock.” He repeats pointedly, sounding almost completely serious if not for the sheer absurdity of the joke and the situation itself.

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Levi relents. Erwin is on his knee in front of him, looking like whatever Levi says next will either make or break him, and he can’t help but to play along. “Who’s there?”

“Mary.”

Levi’s breath hitches. He knows exactly where this is going. His heart is already going at a thousand miles an hour, threatening to leap right out of his chest, and there’s a lump stuck in his throat but he somehow manages to find his voice.

“Mary who?” He says, still staring down at Erwin though his vision is getting foggy.

Erwin’s lips curve up in a gentle smile, the one that always knocks all air out of Levi’s lungs and makes him want to drop everything to be with him. “Marry me.” He takes one of Levi’s hand into his own and presses a small kiss onto the knuckles, whispering, “Please?”

It’s cheesier than the lasagna they had for lunch -and that’s saying a lot because Erwin had made it with enough mozzarella to make at least three large pizzas, urgh- and a part of him kind of hates Erwin for pulling the stunt when he least expected it, on the Christmas Eve no less. But there is nothing in the world he wants more than to have the fleeting glimpse of Erwin’s face the moment he says ‘yes’ and pulls him in for a kiss be burned into his memories forever.

Oh, Levi thinks as he looks at the clock, remembering the party that’s happening in an hour. Hange and Mike’re gonna have a field day with this.

(Two months into their married life, when Levi asks when his appointment with the dentist is and Erwin answers with a casual “tooth hurt-y”, Levi realizes that he’s stuck with a relentless, irritatingly attractive middle-aged man with a penchant for horribly amusing dad jokes.

And the best part? He wouldn’t want it any other way.)

[makuroshi]

when you're a fic writer who can only handle one fandom at a time

WIPs: what about us, what about everything we've been through

me: new otp who dis

[makuroshi]

fic: click here to subscribe (Rinharu YouTube AU - Chapter 16)

Title: click here to subscribe

Pairing: Haruka/Rin/Haruka

Chapter Summary:

Rin's impromptu vlog features an unexpected guest. The consequences of that are even more unexpected.

Also on AO3 and FF!

Chapter 16: Special Guest

­­­There are repercussions to losing someone close to you at a young, tender age; habits that form, fears that develop. It tends to leave a bigger impact if that precious someone happened to be your own family member. In Rin’s case, it was his father. His mother once told him that when Rin first heard the news, he didn’t cry –he walked towards his room, took the biggest pillow on the bed and rushed towards Gou’s room, plopping down next to her sleeping figure and clenching her hand. She was still unaware of her father’s passing –it was really late and Mrs Matsuoka didn’t have the heart nor the energy to wake her up- so Rin took caution to keep silent, but Mrs Matsuoka recalled seeing Rin’s shoulder shaking as he softly murmured “It’s okay, Gou, from now on big brother will protect you.”

Rin doesn’t remember much, of course, but the thing that stuck around after the unfortunate incident is that pillow. It had somehow became a necessity; a source of comfort. Perhaps it was the memory of having the softness of that huge pillow engulfing him in a soft, warm cocoon throughout what must’ve been the most difficult night of his life that caused Rin to not be able to sleep without it.

It’s the only thing that made him feel… protected.

 But for some obscure reason, Haruka’s arms seem to be the only exception to this.

 It’s ludicrous, really, because Haruka is shorter than him (yes, the two inches count) and evidently, if there’s anyone that’s built capable to protect the other, it’s Rin.

Haruka is skinny for his height, muscles too scant and lean for an athlete, a competitive swimmer. Rin puts great pride in his sharp eyes, and he knows when someone has been working out and training strength or not. And Haruka definitely hasn’t. Obviously, he looks good, attractive enough to appear in Rin’s dreams countless times -most of which details Rin would rather not elaborate on- but never would he ever imagined that being in Haruka’s arms can make him feel so safe.

“Can’t sleep again?” Haruka whispers, shifting a little to move the weight of Rin’s head on his arm.

“Kinda.” Opening his eyes, Rin sees that Haruka still has his closed, frowning over his disturbed slumber. The sight of those furrowed eyebrows makes him feel a tad bit guilty. “Don’t mind me.”

“You’re grinding your teeth, of course I’d mind.”

“I do not!”

“You do. And you move a lot. It’s noisy.” Haruka chooses that moment to turn to his side, the movement causing his whole body to completely shield Rin’s from the light coming from the night lamp, casting a looming shadow over him. It becomes infinitely harder to see, and when his pupils manage to accommodate and adjust to the decreasing light source, he can make out the silhouette of Haruka’s body. To make matters worse, his chest is fully facing Rin, and the temptation of shoving his whole face and making a home there –smack in the middle of Haruka’s pectorals- is growing at a maddeningly fast rate. “Come closer, Rin. You’ll sleep better this way.”

Acknowledging that it’s a lost battle from the beginning, Rin scoots over to Haruka, feeling the summer heat and warmth emanating from the body next to him. The air is hot, Rin notices grudgingly. Haruka doesn’t seem to mind, in any case he appears to be completely fine with the sleeping arrangement.

Haruka’s free arm is now resting on his waist, not at all in the romantic hold Rin so often sees in the dramas and read in the novels, but more of a big heavy log pressing against his ribs. For the lack of better place, Rin carefully wraps his arm around Haruka, reaching his back, fingers splayed over the bony ridges of his scapula.

Rin half expected that Haruka would smell like fish. To his utter surprise, Haruka’s scent is sweet, almost like berries. Strawberries, blackberries, blueberries; a mixture of any delicious, juicy berry he can think of, and all of a sudden Rin gets the urge to bite.

“Your breath is tickling me,” he chokes out, taking in deep breaths to calm down, which serves to make it worse because now Haruka’s sweet scent is assaulting him from every direction. How the hell did he survive the night in Shin’onsen anyway?

“Just sleep, Rin.”

Rin would, if he could. He’s just trying really hard to fight from pitching a tent right now. True, they are now in a relationship, but it’s still too soon, and an awkward boner is still going to be awkward.

Feeling uneasy, he tries to settle in, when the niggling thought at the back of his mind resurfaces. That’s right, he knew he had forgotten something. “Uh oh. I just remembered,” Rin gasps. “I haven’t posted my weekly vlog today.”

Haruka doesn’t even flinch, only tiredly muttering “Do it tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow? They’re going to notice, Haru. I have a fixed schedule, there might be people waiting for the freaking video!”

Haruka lets out a displeased grunt at the sudden ruckus Rin is making, trying to pull him back but to no avail. Rin is already leaning over him to grab the night lamp’s cord and switch it back on before scrambling out of bed, frantically looking for a way to solve the problem at hand.

“You have a camera, Haru?”

“No. Why.” When he doesn’t get a reply, Haruka sits up in reluctance, rubbing his eyes sleepily. The light is still making him see spots dancing behind his eyelids. “Rin?”

“Lend me your laptop for a while, okay?”

Seriously? Haruka isn’t in the mood for this. “It’s midnight,” he mumbles, sinking back into the comfort of his pillow, splaying his hand over the warmth left on Rin’s side. “I want to sleep.”

“Please? Just this once, Haru. It’s really important for me to stick to the schedule. It’s like a YouTuber’s code, you know,” Rin pleads, shaking Haruka’s shoulders. When the boy continues feigning ignorance, Rin doesn’t give up, instead he starts grinning slowly as the most brilliant idea pops up in his head. “I’ll take you out to the restaurant we went the other day. Best mackerel in town…?”

Haruka stiffens immediately. Quietness ensues as his hazy mind struggles to weigh between a good night’s slumber and a foodgasmic meal.

“I can order whatever I want?” He softly asks, prompting a chuckle from Rin.

“Of course, you can wipe the whole place off mackerel too, I won’t stop you.”

 Do it for the mackerel, Haruka thinks as he trudges to the table where his laptop is charging.

Haruka initially planned to just shove the goddamn laptop to Rin and go back to sleep, but there’s just something so captivating about Rin filming himself on the camera that he cannot resist staying up to watch.

As an avid viewer of Rin’s videos (in other words, a fanboy), Haruka is aware of the charm and charisma that Rin’s always had. Every word that comes out from his mouth sounds attractive, like he’s trying to lure people in, and though Haruka doesn’t know if the effects are the same on everyone, it pretty much worked on the 500k subscribers Rin has. It was one thing to see the final result –the polished video with hours and hours of retakes, jump cuts and editing- but actually witnessing what goes on behind the scenes is an experience of its own.

Rin has his phone on a makeshift tripod, a small wooden easel Haruka used to place his canvas for painting which has been elevated to eye-level by stacking boxes at the bottom. It isn’t the best setup, that’s for sure, but it is the best Haruka can offer in his half-asleep state. And thanks to the camera’s wide angle, the only place Haruka can stay at without getting into the shot is the far corner of the room, next to the window.

He curls up in his little spot (Rin actually wanted to film downstairs so he wouldn’t disturb Haruka sleep, but there’s no way in hell Haruka is letting him roam around his house unattended, who knows what embarrassing stuff he can find), watching silently as Rin goes off talking and talking and talking, about his week, about school and some miscellaneous things which Haruka cannot really catch. Once in a while, Rin will pause to check on the camera or think of other things to say. Rin’s voice is melodious, so incredibly soothing that it sends him into a daze…

All of a sudden, an arm wraps around his shoulder and jolts him, alerting Haruka. He’s about to grab the nearest defensive object to hit the intruder on the head before realising that it’s just Rin, holding a phone to his face.

What the heck. Is he filming me?

“Oi, Rin! What are you doing!”

“Introducing you to the viewers. Say hi, Haru!” Rin says cheekily, sitting down next to him to fit them both in the frame. “We’re having a sleepover tonight, so yeah, sorry about the shitty resolution. I left my camera in my room and have to make do with my phone instead. Speaking of which, you guys don’t know him yet.” Rin flashes a mischievous grin, nudging Haruka on the shoulder. “Well, he’s Nanase Haruka, my rival. We’re competing against each other in the next swimming tournament in 100m freestyle. He’s pretty good, but I’m sure I can kick his butt!”

Haruka stares blankly at the camera, not knowing how to react. Both to being referred to as Rin’s rival, and the declaration of war which he frankly isn’t even interested in. “-‘s not like I swim to win anyway…”

“As you can see, he doesn’t like talking that much but his cute little face makes up for that.”

“I’m not cute,” he retorts, glancing at Rin’s profile. “You are.”

At that, Rin’s expression falters, quickly morphing into disbelief. “Don’t make me blush in front of the camera, they’ll make fun of me in the comments!” He exclaims in exasperation.

“You started it first.” Haruka shrugs. “Besides, it’s the truth.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Rin groans and looks away, obviously hiding his blush. He’s still getting used to it, but Haruka learns lately that he immensely enjoys watching the colour red bloom on Rin’s face whenever he’s being complimented.

Despite trying his best to stay awake and keep Rin company, Haruka can feel his eyelids getting heavier by the second. It’s late, so late that even his fondness for Rin cannot overcome his brain’s distress signal begging for a good night’s rest, but he knows that Rin’s not going to be done any time soon. The boy’s leaning against him, head rested on his shoulder as he fiddles around with his phone, checking the recorded clips to make sure that the picture quality is satisfactory. The videos, once edited, would only amount to around four minutes, which is way too short for a vlog as Rin’s usually averages 7-10 minutes, depending on how eventful his week is.

“I still have to make the video at least a few minutes long… “ Rin says quietly, shifting to snuggle closer. “How about playing some games?”

“I don’t have games. That’s more of Makoto and Nagisa’s thing.”

Haruka lied about not being into games, of course, he does play titles that interest him, but he’s never going to tell Rin that he has beaten the Extreme mode of that ‘Let’s Go! Deep Sea Creatures’ game at least a dozen times. That’s just… weird and unattractive.

“Hmm… We can still look up for stuff online. Interesting things, like challenges or dares. Let’s see…” Rin pulls up a search on his phone and starts to go through a list of suggested activities. Peeking from the top of Rin’s head, Haruka realizes that all of so-called ‘challenges’ have strange names and even weirder rules and instructions. A feeling of dread begins to pool in Haruka’s stomach because there is no way -no chance in hell- that’s he’s going to make it out of this with his dignity and sanity intact.

“Ah, how about the Chubby Bunny challenge?” Rin asks, pointing excitedly at one section on the website.

Skimming through the descriptions, Haruka frowns. Putting marshmallows in your mouth to see who can fit the most at a time... Won’t it dribble out if it gets too much? He’s already crossed it out in his mind at the sheer grossness of it, but it’s the warnings that truly throws him off kilter.

‘WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT ALONE. RISK OF CHOKING TO DEATH.’

“Rin, people can actually die doing this,” Haruka deadpans. “And do I look like someone who keeps marshmallows in their house?”

“You have a point.” Rin slides his finger across the screen to hunt for the next option. “Then… Charlie Charlie—“

Haruka’s eyes land on the phrase ‘Charlie Charlie involves summoning a ghost using—‘ and flat out refuses. “No. Don’t even think about it.”

“Guess the Body Part?”

“No.”

“My Boyfriend Does My Make-up?”  Rin grins up at him and chuckles when he sees the glare. “Don’t give me that look, I’m just teasing you. Ah, how about the Whisper Challenge?”

The title’s harmless enough, Haruka thinks, and it’s probably the only one that doesn’t involve dying or being publicly humiliated. He huffs in defeat. “Sounds quiet. I’m okay with that.”

Regrets come flooding in like waterfalls as Haruka sits an arm’s length away from Rin, headphones over his ears plugged to Rin’s phone. From the gaps between Rin’s fingers splayed across the screen, he spies a playlist of English songs, no doubt ones he has never heard before.

Seconds from now, those very songs will be blasted in his ears at a volume high enough to render him temporarily deaf to his surroundings. Which is, apparently, what the Whisper Challenge is all about.

“I am not okay with this.”

Rin raises his eyebrow, unamused. “You agreed, no backing out Haru.”

“I didn’t know we have to blast songs in our ears.”

“It’s the whole point! If the noise is not loud enough then you can clearly hear me whispering!” Rin adjusts the headphones so they sit snugly on Haruka’s head before cranking up the volume meter on the wire. “Okay, ready?”

“To lose my hearing? No--”

Haruka barely hears Rin yell “Start!” before the sounds of electric guitar rush into his ears in a stream of harsh melody he could hardly appreciate as music. It’s in English, Haruka realizes as the first string of lyrics are heard -which is something to be expected since it’s from Rin’s song library- but it still irks him a little.

The song is so loud and distracting that it takes a while for him to finally notice that Rin is trying to say something to him.

 Trying being the key word.

 “What?” Haruka asks, signalling with his hands. “I can’t hear you!”

Rin mouths the words again, a bit slower this time, but Haruka has long since given up on listening. He tries to read the lips instead, and even that… doesn’t go too well. He could only make out one or two syllables, something that begins with o and ends with i.

“Yakitori wa umai? (Grilled chicken tastes good?),” he guesses. 90% chances of being wrong, but hey, at least he tried.

Shaking his head, Rin struggles to hold back his laughter. The way Rin’s shoulders shake is more annoying than endearing, so Haruka takes off the headphones and scowls.

“What did you say?”

The redhead smiles smugly. “I can’t tell you. You have to guess until you get it right.”

“That’ll take forever. Just tell me.”

“Oh, come on, Haru! That defeats the purpose of this game!”

“Fine, three guesses,” Haruka says. “Three guesses, and you’ll have to tell me the answer.”

“You’re such a spoilsport,” Rin replies, but agrees anyway.

 It turns out that Haruka is, simply put, really really bad at lip-reading. They’ve done 4 sentences so far, but at this rate Rin doubts he can take one more nonsensical guess. The fifth will be the last, he decides.

“Haruka no me wa kirei (Haruka’s eyes are pretty)”

The boy merely blinks and tilts his head. “Haruka no me…” He starts, pausing to find the right words. Rin feels his heart speed up in anticipation; maybe he’ll get it right this time, maybe—

“Haruka no me ga kirai. (I hate Haruka’s eyes.)”

 Rin facepalms.

 “What the hell, Haru, that’s so close!” He huffs, disappointed. It really was a close one, barely two syllables different. “But the meaning’s totally off, okay. I certainly do not hate your eyes, in fact I said that they’re pretty.”

Hearing that, Haruka’s expression barely changes, but he reaches a hand out to softly clasp one of Rin’s. “Thanks,” he quietly says.

Rin glances at their intertwined hands and smiles. Oh well. “Here, my turn.”

It’s all fun and games until the gruelling editing process starts. Usually, Rin takes a day or two to finish up a video, and even then it’ll be proofed by him and Sousuke first before it goes on the Internet, but now with barely a few hours to go before the sunrise, Rin finds himself stuck with an unfamiliar laptop, a bunch of blurry clips and a very, very distracting Haruka sitting by his side.

For some reason, Haruka has been observing him intently for the past half an hour, following closely his every move. Rin thought that he’s just curious of the process, but then he noticed that Haruka wasn’t even looking at the screen. He was only looking at him.

“What,” Rin asks, finally turning to face the boy. Haruka shrugs and mutters a soft “nothing”, and it’s a blatant lie Rin isn’t willing to buy.

“Haru, I can feel lasers shooting the side of my face. What is it?”

There it is; Haruka fidgets a little before scooting closer to run his fingers through the red silky strands dangling by his face. “Your hair is getting into your eyes,” he says, vivid blue irises burning with an intense determination. “Give me a hair band.”

“You’re kidding, right? Do you even know how to tie ponytails?”

“I’ve had practice. Makoto’s little sister always asked me to do her hair whenever I came around.”

The image of Haruka perched behind a little girl while working on her hair is amusing. Rin makes a mental note to ask Makoto for a picture the next time it happens, just to satisfy his curiousity. “Fine,” He replies, fishing out a black band from his pocket. “Just, don’t pull my scalp off.”

Much to Rin’s surprise, Haruka really is good at it.

Haruka’s nimble fingers feel heavenly as they glide through his hair, gathering sections of his hair with profound expertise. The scraping sounds are so ridiculously calming that it takes Rin’s all to not fall asleep right then. It must have something to do with the weird ASMR thing he found that day, god knows how much tingles he felt after listening to those audios.

With his hair (and Haruka) out of the way, Rin finds things a lot easier to manage, and just some moments later, the video’s done and uploaded to his channel.

“Done! Finally!” He shouts, placing the laptop on the table and falling back onto the bed, next to Haruka. “Ugh, I’m so tired…“

Wordlessly, Haruka tugs the night lamp’s cord and wraps his arm around Rin, returning to their positions before the crazy impromptu vlog fiasco happened, finally falling asleep.

Haruka wakes up to bright morning rays seeping through the curtains and long limbs sprawled over his abdomen in a way that can only be described as a koala gripping onto tall bamboo sticks.

There’s a heavy weight crushing him, not of the ‘help me I’m having a heart attack’ type but in the ‘hey, there’s someone here with me and oh my god did we sleep together’ kind of way. Warm puffs of air hit the front of his chest at regular intervals, and something’s tickling his nose, something that still holds the traces of that familiar vanilla smell.

He peers down and sees the mop of crimson hair -rendered a shade darker by the shadows of the closed curtain- moving just the tiniest bit with each breath he takes.

Haruka can’t help asking himself: Am I still dreaming? It all feels too surreal.

“Rin?” Haruka lightly shakes the body lying on top of him. “Rin, wake up.”

A few harsher pushes and Rin finally stirs, opening an eye to squint at him as if trying to identify the person disturbing his sleep. There is a split second of astonishment that flashes in his eyes, that one fine moment when he recognises that it’s Haruka, his Haruka, when his lips quirk up in a small, pleased smile. “—Mornin’…” He greets lazily.

Oh no, he’s cute. Haruka thinks, heart growing bigger and fuller in his chest. He’s cute, and I want to kiss him.

“Can I,” He blurts out and pauses, looking unsure of himself. “Can I kiss you?”

Rin’s sudden raspy laughter fills the air. “You know, if you’re going to ask like that every time you plan on kissing me, we’re in for some serious relationship issues, Haru.”

“That’s a yes, then.”

“Were you expecting a no?” Rin hastily extracts himself from wrapping around Haruka (finally he can breathe normally) and sits up, propping his body against the headboard. The sunlight catches on his hair, making the edges almost golden. Beautiful.

Rin doesn’t give him much time to prepare before he swoops in for a quick press on the lips, warm hands resting on Haruka’s nape in a gentle fleeting hold. The sheets rustle underneath them, bed letting out a small squeak as Haruka shifts to lean closer, wanting to savour the moment. He feels warm, warm all-over from the heat that’s not entirely due to summer, and even though the kiss itself is light and innocent, the fact that it’s Rin he’s kissing simply leaves him breathless.

Haruka has never drowned; Water just doesn’t allow it to happen. But this feeling certainly comes close to that.

They pull away with a sigh, Rin sliding his hands down to rest on Haruka’s shoulders. There’s a standstill silence; fragile, magical.

 A sudden loud blast of ringtone from Rin’s phone startles them both.

 Nitori’s name flashes on the screen as the phone rattles on the table. Rin considers ignoring it in favour of kissing Haruka again (who’s currently staring at him like he’s hung the moon for him), but it could be an emergency.

Rin picks up. Before he can say anything, Nitori’s already wailing for help.

“Senpai! Senpai, please come back, please!”

“Hey, hey… calm down and tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s Y-yamazaki-senpai, he’s waiting for you in the room. He’s so scary, he’s been smiling non-stop since this morning…” Nitori sounds more desperate and frightened than usual, which is saying something because it’s Nitori -he’s 85% of the time a trembling ball of anxiety, the other 15% of confidence only coming out when Rin praises him for something. “Senpaaaaaiii I don’t wanna die!!”

Growing increasingly concerned, Rin steals a glance at Haruka, who seems to have heard bits and pieces of their conversation. “Okay, I’ll be back soon. Just, keep a distance from him, alright?” Rin ends the call with a sigh. “Haru… I, I have to go.”

“It’s Sunday. You’re not staying for breakfast?”

“I wish I can, but Nitori is in trouble and I have to help him sort it out,” Rin replies as he begins collecting his things and stuffing them into his bag. They make their way to the front door in a palpable silence, only broken when Rin grabs Haruka’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’ll call you,” he says.

“No phone, remember?” Haruka reminds. “I’ll text you when I get a new one.”

Rin nods in understanding and leans down to steal a kiss before taking off with a satisfied grin, leaving behind a flustered and bewildered Haruka.

“Matsuoka-senpai, thank god! I’m close to peeing myself I don’t even know what to say he just kept grinning like he’s planning a murder—“

Nitori starts babbling at the speed of light the moment he sees Rin heading towards him down the hallway, looking close to tears. He’s all jittery and genuinely frightened, so Rin pats his shoulders to try calm him down.

“Nitori, I got this. Is it okay if you go to Momotarou’s room for a while? Watch him feed and play with Pyunsuke or something. I’ll tell you when it’s safe to come back.”

Relief instantly replaces the fear on Nitori’s face. “Okay. Be careful, Matsuoka-senpai.”

Rin is determined to give the devil inside the room a good beating (figuratively, of course, he’ll never get physical with Sousuke no matter how bad their fight gets). He wastes no time and enters, seeing his childhood friend lounging on his bed, arms behind his head and legs crossed high, smiling like a madman getting his first kill. No wonder Nitori was scared shitless.

“Mind telling why you’re here scaring the poor kid’s pants off, Sou?” Rin crosses his arms, demanding explanation. Sousuke hasn’t said anything yet Rin can already guess what this is about; very few things can cause that sinister face to appear. “Look, I know this isn’t because of you getting scouted into the National team, because if it is, you won’t be here. You’ll be in the pool, training already. So my guess is… Makoto?”

“You know me well, Rin,” Sousuke sits up excitedly. “We held hands.”

“So you did go out with him yesterday! You told me you were getting some manga!” Rin exclaims, pointing a finger accusingly.

“We did, we went to the bookstore together. And got coffee afterwards,” Sousuke says, looking pleased with himself.   “First date mission accomplished.”

“You sneaky, lying bastard. I told you everything about my love life and you kept yours a secret from me.”

Sousuke merely shrugs, “I didn’t want to get my own hopes up, Rin,” “How did Nanase react when you told him?”

“How did you know—“ He sees Sousuke’s raised eyebrow and remembers that this is his childhood friend, Yamazaki freakin’ Sousuke, of course he must’ve done his research. He could’ve stopped by last night, discovered that Rin was missing, and put two and two together. “Nevermind. It’s mutual. We kissed.”

“YOU KISSED?”

“We kissed.” Rin smirks, feeling the urge to brag. “Twice.”

“YOU KISSED NANASE TWICE?”

“And I… I spent the night at his house,” he adds.

“YOU WHAT?” Sousuke looks like he’s about to explode. It might’ve been a bit of an information overload for him, and Rin purposely left the last part vague, just to mess with him. “Wow. I didn’t know you had it in you.” A pause. Sousuke’s eyes widen comically, like something had just hit him in the head. “Wait… Did you, you know, had it, in you?”

Rin frowns, trying to decipher what it means, and when he does, his skin tone turns from normal to white to bright crimson so fast that he’s probably qualified for a new world record.

“Sousuke!” He doesn’t know which offends him more; the fact that Sousuke has just accused him of doing it with Haruka, or that he had implied that Rin was the one taking it up the ass.

Which, when the time comes, might not be wrong (he hasn’t exactly decided?), but still.

“I’m just curious! Don’t blame me, you’re the one who’s taking things so fast!”

“Pffft… Please, Sou. We both know that once you and Makoto are officially a couple, you’d be all over that Makobooty in a sec.”

“Well, his fault for being so goddamn perfect. I could stare at his beautiful eyes all day.” Sousuke smiles fondly at that thought. Rin grabs the closest pillow he can reach and smacks it right in Sousuke’s face, cackling at the loud wail of protest. “Hey!”

“Rub the stupid smile off your face, it’s disgusting.”

“Like you’re not just as bad,” Sousuke scoffs. “By the way, Captain said there’s no training today. The tournament’s getting close, so the next two weeks will be pretty damn intense and we won’t have much time anymore. Want to go film a new ‘101 Places for a Romantic Date’ episode?”

“How many have we done?”

“Let me just check,” Sousuke lifts the computer lid and waits for it to start. He always leaves the computer on sleep mode, it makes it easier for both of them to work on the videos any time they’re free. Few seconds later, the screen lights up and SharkBoiUnleashed’s home page appears. Sousuke quickly scrolls through the playlist, keeping count of the published videos and the ones in queue. “Roughly 35. We got swamped with school work and swimming last few weeks so we’re quite behind. Your fans don’t seem to mind, though. They’re really understanding.”

And that is something Rin will eternally be grateful for. His fans are the core of his YouTube success, the support he gets from them never ceases to amaze him. In return, he wants to deliver the best content for them, which is why he’s always on the lookout for new, interesting things to share with the viewers. “So, location suggestion?”

“There’s a little creek nearby, close to the place where they’re having the Summer Festival this year. A bridge crosses over it, and I heard that it’s great for fireworks viewing. Kinda high up, quiet and away from the crowd,” Sousuke types something into the computer and pulls up a page showing some photographs of the place from different angles. They both hum in approval. “Pretty, right? We can introduce it to them, maybe some new couples in Iwatobi area will want to check it out.

“Okay. I’ll get ready first, we gotta leave before noon or it’ll be too hot then.” Rin opens his closet and starts idly fiddling with the clothes. New couples, huh? Should I ask Haru out for the festival? He might have plans already. Or will he be shy to go with me…

“What’s this, Rin? Your inbox is overflowing with comments. They’re on a video posted at 2.50AM—“ Sousuke lets out an abrupt gasp. “Holy shit, seriously?”

Rin doesn’t pay him much attention, still sifting through his wardrobe to look for something to wear. He knew back then that Sousuke will react this way, but desperate times simply call for desperate measures. “You weren’t here and I was running out of ideas, okay,” he attempts to explain. “And then I found out that Haruka is the boy I was looking for and I just, completely forgot about it. The video resolution is shitty but the content is gold.”

“No, that’s… really not the issue. Here, come and look at this.” Sousuke beckons him to move closer, pointing at the laptop screen in urgency. He looks amused, very amused, and Rin can’t shrug the feeling that something big might be off…

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” Sousuke laughs and begins to clap slowly as Rin continues to stare at the screen in shock. “Congratulations, Rin. Your fans have started shipping you and Nanase.”

[makuroshi]

*re-reads my own story*: Damn this is some good shit

*gets to the part where I stopped writing*: WTF WHERE'S THE REST OF IT HOW DO I GET MORE

Brain: You're the author, if you want more you have to write it

Me: *flips tables*

[makuroshi]

chibi rin: *takes a deep breath*

everyone in free:  yes, nanase is amazing, we know, you love his swimming so much, he’s your shining, you love him so much, you just love his clear blue eyes and cool aura, we KNOW, you love nanase you fucking love nanase ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE NANASE HARUKA. WE GET IT.

free s1 rin: I never want to swim with you again, Haru

everyone in free: ʷʰʸ ᵗʰᵉ fᵘͨᵏ ʸºᵘ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ʷʰʸ ʸºᵘ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ, ᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐᵐ ºʰ ᵐʸ ᵍºᵈ ˢᵗºp fᵘͨᵏ'ⁿ ˡʸʸʸ'ⁿ 

free es rin: *takes a deep breath*

everyone in free: yes, haru is amazing, we know, you love his swimming so much, he’s your Shining, you love him so much, you just love haru, we KNOW, you love haru you fucking love haruka ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE NANASE HARUKA. WE GET IT. NOW PROPOSE ALREADY  

it’s a full circle.

[makuroshi]

fic: click here to subscribe (Rinharu YouTube AU - Chapter 15)

Title: click here to subscribe

Pairing: Haruka/Rin/Haruka

Chapter Summary:

Haruka reacts to finding out who Rin's first love really was (is), and there's a kiss that's long overdue.

Also on AO3 and FF!

Chapter 15: Revelation

Haruka is the middle of cleaning his room when the doorbell rings.

At first, the sound is deafened by the loud whirrs of the running vacuum cleaner, and as he moves from one spot to another, he thinks he’s heard something, but passes it off as random noises. It instantly becomes noticeable, however, the moment he switches off the vacuum –piercing wails of the doorbell in rapid successions, growing in frequency with every second. The person pressing the button is certainly agitated for some obscure reason, and the impatience is now affecting Haruka as well. Annoyed by the unwanted disturbance, Haruka frowns as he makes his way to the door warily.

The problem with living alone and having a door that does not come with a peephole is that, no matter what, you will have to open it. No sneaking around to find out who it is, no asking other people to lie that you’re not at home. Even if it’s a serial killer, you’ll have to open the door first –and probably get stabbed with a 12-inch knife- before finally going “Oh. I shouldn’t have done that.”

So who can it be? Makoto is out in town to get his monthly fix of manga magazines. Nagisa would yell out Haru-chan!! Open up, open up!! and give the door relentless knocks instead of just butchering his bell like some kind of crazed psychopath. Rei is too polite and patient to even press more than thrice. Gou doesn’t know where his house is (or does she?) and frankly, Haruka can’t imagine anyone else dropping by other than them.

Reluctantly, he slides the door open, and then—

  “Rin?!”

  Standing in front of him, drenched in sweat and panting for breath is none other than Matsuoka Rin.

Rin looks drained, exhausted, eyebrows knitted in a deep frown like he’s just finished running a marathon then asked to do hundred push-ups and run another lap around the pool. His usually silky strands of hair are plastered haphazardly to the sides of his face, wet bangs sticking to his forehead, and his face is flushed, all the way down to his neck. When Rin opens his mouth to say something, all that comes out is another desperate gasp for air and a choked out “Ha…ru”.

Still bewildered but more concerned than anything, Haruka quickly pulls Rin into the house, shutting the door behind them to block the blistering summer air from joining the already sweltering heat inside. His grip on Rin’s arm is tight as he leads them to the kitchen, intent on giving the boy some goddamn water before he faints from dehydration.

Rin takes the glass with a hasty hand, gulping down the fluid in one go. He closes his eyes and lets out a relieved sigh as the coolness spreads down his parched throat.

Haruka tries not to think of the drop of water that lingers on the tip of Rin’s chin.

  Towel. Yes, that’s it. He needs to get one.

Haruka releases his hold on Rin, but the boy hurriedly grabs onto his hand, not wanting to let go.

“Wait, Haru,” he says. “We need to talk.”

Haruka stares at him in silence. Of course they need to talk; Haru has questions that demand answering, gaps and blanks he has to fill, and although that requires him to open his mouth and ask –something he rarely bothers to do-, this situation probably is an exception.

(Rin is always an exception.)

With a shrug, Haruka turns and starts walking away with Rin on tow. Rin follows blindly, letting Haruka’s hand on his become the compass. When they reach his bedroom, Haruka notices with amusement that Rin’s turning a few shades of red, but he says nothing about it.

Haruka kicks aside the vacuum nozzle lying on the floor to make room for them to move, mentally noting to put it away later. Calmly, he plucks a face towel from the drawers and throws it at Rin.

“Here. Your sweat’s dripping on me, and I just took a bath.”

Startled, Rin sharply glances at his T-shirt, taking in the large wet patch that spreads out from the neckline down to his chest, turning it into a much darker shade of grey. His hair is also sticking to his skin in a way that makes Rin feel like he’s a cat drowning in the drain. Blergh. Definitely not a great feeling. He’s going to need a long, good shower after this.

Sheepishly, Rin runs the towel over his face and across his neck, the fluffiness giving a satisfying albeit temporary sense of cleanliness. He watches as Haruka bends down to pick and dismantle the vacuum cleaner (no he’s totally not staring at his butt), carefully storing it under the table. It’s only when he’s scanning over the rest of the room that the reality finally comes kicking in.

  He is in Haru’s room.

Wait. Why is he here again?

  “You said you wanted to talk,” Haruka mutters, settling down on the edge of his bed. The mattress dips under his weight, creases appearing on the light beige bedsheet.

It’s probably simply his wishful thinking or imagination, but Haruka is patting the bed as if beckoning Rin to take a sit. Next to him. On the freaking bed.

Rin is still staring stupidly at him, so Haruka calls him out on it. “Rin. Sit down.”

Unless he is planning to stand there by Haruka’s closet for the rest of their predictably awkward-filled conversation, Rin has no other choice other than to accept the offer. At least he’ll have a place to hide his shaky hands from sight, instead of clenching them in fists at his side or shoving them into his pockets. Carefully, Rin ambles to where Haruka is sitting, plopping down next to him a good meter away.

  They both fall silent.

  (It’s almost comical that the only sounds filling the room are the cicadas’ buzzing.)

  “You’re not talking,” Haruka says, glancing at Rin from the corner of his eyes for a second. He goes back to staring at his feet.

Rin’s hands twitch from where they rest on the downy sheets. He wants to tell Haruka so badly, that he has so many things to say that he doesn’t know where to start -because that is the truth- but all he can only manage is “So are you.”

Haruka shrugs. “That’s normal, for me.”

If he is in the right state of mind and isn’t suffering from this acute ‘speech ability disappearance’ disorder, Rin would’ve laughed at Haruka’s admittance of his quietness. But Rin is even quieter than Haruka, so he’s not in any position to do so.

Sensing that Rin isn’t going to start speaking out what’s on his mind, Haruka probes first.

“You were crying that day, during training,” he starts, not missing the way Rin flinches in surprise. Oh, so they were tears. He wasn’t just imagining it. “Why?”

“I don’t know.”

Haruka turns to face Rin head on and narrows his eyes, brows furrowing in a subtle frown. “You don’t know why you were crying?”

The incredulous tint in his question is barely there, but enough to show that he’s not buying it. Rin is hiding something. Haruka doesn’t like it.

“I don’t know a lot of things, Haru,” comes Rin’s reply, heavy and strained like he’s just come to that conclusion there and then. His red eyes are blazing, burning with something Haruka doesn’t recognize. Then Rin closes his eyes, runs a hand through his hair, and lets out a weak chuckle that sounded resigned more than anything.

Falling back with an ‘oof!’, Rin spreads his hands out across the bed like an eagle. His eyes are still shut, long lashes brushing against his cheeks, and he has a small reserved smile playing on his lips, but Haruka can see that he’s troubled. Rin is struggling with something; something he wants to say, but can’t.

Haruka does the only thing he can think of. He reaches out and takes Rin’s hand.

  That seems to kickstart something in Rin’s system. Eyes snapping open, Rin looks at the hand wrapping around his in a loose grip. It’s warm and sweaty, and he realises that maybe Haruka is just as edgy as he is.

A torrential surge of courage washes over him, throwing aside all the doubts Rin had about confronting Haruka and revealing the truth. This is something he wants, someone he needs. Yes, he is afraid of rejection, but god, Rin has waited so, so long for this. Now that he’s found Haruka again, he’s not going to let go.

Haruka is still staring silently at him, expectant. Their eyes meet, but this time Rin doesn’t look away.

“Hey, wanna hear something crazy?” Rin says, sitting back up so they are levelled, the words leaving his mouth without hesitation. No turning back. “I found him. The boy I liked. And after seeing him again, I realised that I still like him, even now.”

Haruka’s eyes widen, his hand clenching a tad bit tighter onto Rin’s. It’s almost as if his world had stopped turning and this is the apocalypse that follows. The clawing in his chest certainly felt so, if not worse.

“That… That’s great,” he mutters, swallowing the lump that’s forming in his throat. “Does he like you back?”

“Do you?” Rin asks. He is smiling, freaking smiling, and for the first time in his life, Haruka wants to punch somebody in the face.

“What?”

“The answer to your question. It’s the same as the answer to mine.”

Haruka frowns, feeling anger, annoyance and confusion morphing into a ball of emotions. Is Rin making fun of him? Asking if he likes him, when it’s obvious that Rin has someone else he fancies anyway?

There’s a sick feeling pooling in his stomach, and he thinks he’s going to throw up. He’s half expecting that Rin is going to make a camera materialise from somewhere and start filming him for a prank video, but then to his astonishment, Rin is pulling away, standing up to walk towards the table by the window. He grabs a picture frame -slotted in between books and papers, clearly forgotten- and stares at the picture which Haruka vaguely recognises as an old one from elementary school.

“It’s you, Haru,” Rin whispers, running his nimble fingers along the sheer glass that frames the picture gently, oh so gently, almost as if everything is a fragile little dream. The picture is similar to the one sent by Gou, the difference being Rin and his teammates have been cropped out. He stops at the spot where Haruka is perched on the floor, holding up his certificate of achievement. A smile tugs at Rin’s lips, and he turns around to look at Haruka, gaze fond and unwavering. “It’s you.”

  Noticing the further confusion in Haruka’s expression, Rin shuffles closer and sits down again, taking his phone out to show the messages. “Here,” he says, pushing both the phone and the frame into Haruka’s hands. “Read, compare, and try to process.”

  Haruka blinks, comprehending, before finally looking up to stare wide-eyed at Rin.

  “So it was really me?”

Rin nods, grinning brightly.

  “And the red-haired kid who won 100m butterfly was you?”

“You remember me?!”

“I remember a noisy kid yapping away to his friends after the prize giving,” Haruka admits, pointing at the little boy in the photo’s background, ignoring the mock gasp Rin responded with. “I remember thinking ‘god, shut up already’.”

“Haru!” Rin whines. He’s about to tackle Haruka when a loud grumble echoes from his tummy, the embarrassing sound draining colour from his face. Trust his stomach orchestra to protest over lack of dinner.

  Haruka shakes his head, amused. “Let’s go downstairs, I’ll make something for you.”

  After Rin is done with his second bowl of rice and grilled mackerel (Haruka vehemently claimed that his house had nothing but mackerel, and damn, who knew mackerels can taste so good?), he insists that he do the dishes, not wanting to be an added burden since he was the only one eating. But after he places the bowl and plate in the wrong place, Haruka takes over, clearly concerned for the safety and order of his kitchen. Rin doesn’t take much offence in that; while he is kinda good with cooking, cleaning up is always something he’d rather leave to Gou or his mother.

Despite Haruka’s instructions to leave and not wait for him, Rin stays. Who is he to resist the opportunity to watch as Haruka work his way around the kitchen, cleaning up the utensils and rearranging the plates like a perfect housewife? N-not that he wants Haruka to be his wife or anything!

  It’s silent other than the occasional clinks and running water, but they both know that so many things are still left unsaid after their confrontation earlier.

  To his surprise (what a day full of surprises it is), Haruka puts down the final piece of glass on the rack and turns to look at him.

“The boy you liked, and the person I am today, we are different,” Haruka says. “You call him a genius, but I am ordinary.”

The tone that Haruka used throws Rin off the loop a little. He sounded… indifferent, like he doesn’t care that Rin has spent 6 years of his life looking for him, like it doesn’t bother him that Rin admires him and his swimming. The lack of confidence in someone with such an outstanding talent is almost infuriating. “You’re not! Stop underrating yourself, Haru. I saw you, you were better than some of the best in Japan.“

Haruka sighs, peeling off the apron from his front. “I’m nothing special.”

Hastily, Rin stands, the chair’s legs screeching against the floor with a deafening squeak. He strides towards to Haruka, blood rushing to his head in a dizzying spell. They’re standing near enough to the refrigerator that Rin can spy a single magnet on the door, in the shape of a dolphin. It looks so lonely.

Out of reflex, Haruka tries to back away. Rin grabs his hand before he can.

“You’re special to me,” he says, and he means it.

“Which one?” They’re inches away, too close for comfort, yet still Haruka faces on. He needs to know. “The 12-year old or the current one?”

“Both,” Rin says firmly. “All of you. Haruka, you’re important to me. I can’t lose you, not again. When I try to imagine a future where you’re not there with me, it just… hurts.”

Haruka is silent, but his hands curl into a fist. His lips are pursed, his eyes a stunning blue. “Is this a confession, Rin?” he finally asks.

Cheeks blowing up in a vivid red, Rin stumbles back like he’s just been stung, suddenly realising how close they’ve been. His right foot catches on the leg of the chair and he curses loudly, fighting the searing pain with a groan. The world just isn’t siding with him today. “W-what the heck, what do you think it is, then? A poem recitation or some shit?”

Haruka shrugs, still staring at him with that blank face, although now Rin can see the tiniest hint of an amused smile.

Taking a deep breath, Rin squares his shoulder and gathers all the courage he has in his bones. It feels like he’s going to head off for war or fighting a lion in a gladiator rink rather than confessing his love, really.

He takes one last glance at the blue dolphin magnet within his peripheral vision, its fin held up like it’s cheering him on.

“Look, I wasn’t sure before, but I am now. I like you, even though you never say more than five words—“

“Ten.”

“--Okay, ten words to me at one time. I like you despite you looking bored 90% of the time, despite us spending more time arguing than having civil conversations. And you-- you’re the only one who’s ever shook me up this way.” At this, Rin runs a hand over his face, rubbing it vigorously as though the motions will wash the furious blush away. Which, obviously, it doesn’t. “I know I probably sound like a drama character –damn this is embarrassing- but my point still stands; you changed my world, and I want to be with you. How’s that? Clear enough, Haru?”

  There is a long, miserable quietness that ensues. Surely the silence isn’t as drawn-out as his head is making it to be, but it is just as torturous as he waits for Haruka’s answer.

  Haruka has always thought that it’s impossible to ever hear your own heartbeat if it’s outside an adrenaline-fueled race, but Rin proved him wrong.

  (And it’s rather funny that when he thinks of it; Rin has changed his perspectives, over and over again. Haruka thought that technology was nothing but rubbish, something he doesn’t need in his life. In came Rin and his quirky SharkBoiUnleashed channel, showing him sights he has never seen before. Haruka thought that people are troublesome, that being alone is the best feeling ever, but once he got to know Rin, he finds himself missing him and his perfect smile, perfect hair and perfect voice.

  Haruka thought that he’d never love someone as much, or even more than he loves Water.

And Rin proved him wrong again.)

  “Yeah,” Haruka chokes out, the joy in his voice so foreign even to his own ears. “Yes.” 

His hands tug on the hems of Rin’s gray T-shirt, pulling him closer, closer, and a split second later, Haruka’s lips are on Rin’s. He doesn’t know how he manages to land a kiss on Rin anyway, what with his lack of experience and all, and it’s a miracle that their foreheads or noses didn’t clash from the force of him practically crashing his whole face forward, but the bigger question is whether or not Rin is dead, because it sure seems like it. He’s not breathing (though Haruka’s mouth blocking part of his airway might have played a role in that), he’s not responding, not making any sound other than the initial ‘mmmph!’, and his lips feel kinda cold.

Haruka tries to gauge a reaction with a swipe of his tongue (don’t ask how he knows that, having two friends who are lovebirds has its perks), and almost automatically, Rin parts his mouth. Their lips can now slot perfectly against one another, allowing Haruka to tilt his head and Rin to bend down just a fraction to make up for that slight difference in height. Rin’s hands finally unfreeze, one going up to rest on Haruka’s hipbone and the other sliding over Haruka’s back, fingers leaving indentations on the skin through the fabric of his clothes.

There are these little sounds Rin makes -a mixture of moans and whimpers- that’re driving him crazy, and Haruka can feel the way they both melt into the kiss, the way Rin’s lips catch again onto his the second they part, how the space between them grow smaller until there’s almost none left. The rest of the kiss goes by in a blur -it might have lasted for a minute or two, neither of them can be sure, too short for their liking but at the same time long enough to render them giddy and light-headed. Rin’s the first to break apart panting for air, tightening his grip on Haruka and staring at him like he’s the last thing he ever needs on Earth.

  Haruka is convinced he’s probably giving the same look, too.

  It was flattering, but at the same time overwhelming. Haruka never thought it’s possible to love someone this much, but he does, and there’s really nothing he can do about it at this point.

  He’s in love with Rin.

He’s in love with Matsuoka Rin.

  “You taste like pineapple and mackerel,” Rin suddenly says, the crack in his voice betraying the composure that he seems to have collected.

“Had that for dinner,” Haruka replies, giddiness still spreading in his system. “Still like me now, Rin?”

Rin bites his lips to fight the silly grin, choosing to bury his face in the crook of Haruka’s neck to hide his blush. “Of course, jeez…” He mumbles into Haruka’s skin, laughing lightly. “Is that the kind of question people ask after a great kiss, Haru?”

I wouldn’t know, because that was my first.

“Good,” Haruka says instead, closing his eyes, breathing in tandem with Rin’s warm puffs against his skin, “because I like you too.”

  “So… Are we a thing?”

Haruka looks up from the clothes he’s folding to see Rin staring at him from across the living room, head resting on his palm. He raises his eyebrows, questioning. “Thing?”

“Yeah, you know, a thing. An item,” Rin struggles to explain, hands moving in various gestures that makes him appear fidgety more than anything. Eventually, he sighs and stuff his hands in his pocket, looking nervous. “Umm… I mean. We’re dating, right?”

“We went for a date months ago. And another one last few weeks,” Haruka pretends to go back to folding clothes, revelling in Rin’s frustration. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Rin pouting, looking lost and worried. He may be dense, but he’s not that clueless. “I’m kidding, Rin. Of course we are.”

Rin instantly lights up, smiling with the force of a thousand sun. He crosses the room, plops down on the floor and slings his arm around Haruka’s shoulder casually (like it’s his natural habitat), giving a soft peck to the top of his head. “Haru! I didn’t know you could joke!”

Haruka glares half-heartedly at the boy. He casts a glance at the clock, noting the time. 10.35pm.

“Don’t you need to go back tonight? Boarding schools have curfews.”

Hearing that, Rin turns sharply to look at the time, cursing to himself for not being mindful. He fishes out his phone, mumbling in concealed panic as he scrolls through the contacts. “By the time I get there it’ll be way past the curfew. Don’t think I can sneak in stealthily anymore---”

“You can stay, Rin.”

“--Figured maybe I could walk back to my house. Cycling is faster, but I don’t have my bike now. Ahhh but Gou is probably asleep already—“

“Rin!” Haruka calls out louder, snapping him out of his ramblings. “I said you can stay.”

“What?” Rin whispers stupefied, the implication in Haruka’s words hitting him hard. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not worried that I might, stab you in your sleep or something?”

“Funny how you were worried that I would stab you in your sleep, back in the inn,” Haruka reminds. “I thought we’ve gone past that.”

Indeed they have, because somehow along the way, they have gone from online strangers to pseudo-friends and now -boyfriends. Which is a weird, weird course of relationship, as far as two boys are concerned. But hey, what does he know?

The hesitancy slowly dies out as Rin weighs the choices he’s left with. Run all the way back to Samezuka to sneak in and risk getting caught, or spend the night at Haruka’s without the school’s permission and risk getting exposed? It’s a 50-50 situation, but the thing that tipped the scale is that at least here, he has Haruka for company.

Having made up his mind (and there was actually no dispute in the first place, his decision was obvious), Rin hurriedly typed out a cry for help. “Sent a text to Nitori, told him I won’t be back tonight and to cover for me if the warden swings by,” he tells.

  Haruka nods.

  One thing leads to another, and now Rin finds himself standing awkwardly at the door, clad in Haruka’s atrocious fish-themed T-shirt and sweatpants, watching his boyfriend (boyfriend! Boyfriend!!) fluff his pillows and smooth the sheet on the queen-sized bed like they’re freaking newlyweds on the first night.

It’s a worse kind of anxiety compared to the night at the hot springs inn, because back then it was just a harmless crush. Now it’s a full blown like, love and want, and the natural law of a healthy young man with normal libido states that when you share a bed with someone you fancy, things are bound to progress further. It just kinda happens.

Wait, we’re not going to do anything, right? Are we? What am I supposed to expect?

God, he feels like a dumbass. The silence engulfing the room doesn’t help one bit.

  Rin has to speak. He has to, before the tension (and embarrassment) in the room crumples him flat, like an empty can getting stepped on by an angry, dreadful teenager.

“I can, umm, sleep outside, you know,” he says, clearing his throat to rid of the nerves. Haruka pauses in the middle of his bed-setting ritual to listen. “I’m sure your couch is no match for my pillow but hey, I’m tired as fuck and I can get a wink or two if I really try.” Haruka’s empty stare forces him to add, “If you don’t want me here, that is.”

“I want you,” Haruka says instantly, cheeks turning to a rosy hue when he realises what he’s just said. And yeah, Rin is practically dead. Dying and dead. Haruka’s cuteness has just killed him. “Here, I mean. I have a futon.” Haruka tries to clarify, but Rin’s sanity is already halfway gone. “It hasn’t been aired for a while, though.”

Unaired futon is up there in the list of evil things in life, just below wet socks and broken fans in summer, and Rin shivers at the prospect of sleeping in one (the itch from his experience at Sousuke’s place was a traumatic reminder).

“It’s really fine, I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything. Couch sounds great to me.”

“I don’t have a couch, Rin. Only tatami mat.”

Rin’s only one step away from bolting out of the room when he realizes that what Haruka said is true. His house is minimally furnished, and a quick review in Rin’s memory of the living area reveals that there was no couch.

“Right.” Stupid, stupid Rin.  “Yes, of course. How could I not notice.”

Wordlessly, Haruka climbs into bed, taking the left side and leaving a Rin-sized space to his right.

  Oh. Okay.

It's really happening.

  Heart thumping madly in his chest, Rin sidles closer, stopping at the edge of the mattress to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “Umm, you do know I can’t sleep without my pillow, right?”

Haruka merely peeks at him, stretches an arm out and pats on it, the glorious sinewy muscles of his bicep for display. “Don’t worry, I have the solution,” he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

  This is going to be a long night.

[makuroshi]

I'm just curious, do you have a schedule for chts updates, or just whenever you can do it?

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, yeah, I used to update more frequently when I was having a break, but now I’m kinda swamped with uni life. I still try to update at least once every 2 weeks! If it goes beyond that, then I’m probably really, really busy at the time ;w;I have just updated, though, do check it out, and thanks for dropping by! ;D

[btsreina-deactivated20160528]

chill

[thewritersarchive]

This is an ultimate masterlist of many resources that could be helpful for writers. I apologize in advance for any not working links. Check out the ultimate writing resource masterlist here (x) and my “novel” tag here (x).

✑ PLANNING

Outlining & Organizing

For the Architects: The Planning Process

Rough Drafts

How do you plan a novel?

Plot Development: Climax, Resolution, and Your Main Character

Plotting and Planing

I Have An Idea for a Novel! Now What?

Choosing the Best Outline Method

How to Write a Novel: The Snowflake Method

Effectively Outlining Your Plot

Conflict and Character within Story Structure

Outlining Your Plot

Ideas, Plots & Using the Premise Sheets

✑ INSPIRATION

Finding story ideas

Choosing ideas and endings

When a plot isn’t strong enough to make a whole story

Writing a story that’s doomed to suck

How to Finish What You Start: A Five-Step Plan for Writers

Finishing Your Novel

Finish Your Novel

How to Finish Your Novel when You Want to Quit

How To Push Past The Bullshit And Write That Goddamn Novel: A Very Simple No-Fuckery Writing Plan

✑ PLOT

In General

25 Turns, Pivots and Twists to Complicate Your Story

The ABCs (and Ds and Es) of Plot Development

Originality Is Overrated

How to Create a Plot Outline in Eight Easy Steps

Finding Plot: Idea Nets

The Story Goal: Your Key to Creating a Solid Plot Structure

Make your reader root for your main character

Creating Conflict and Sustaining Suspense

Tips for Creating a Compelling Plot

The Thirty-six (plus one) Dramatic Situations

Adding Subplots to a Novel

Weaving Subplots into a Novel

7 Ways to Add Subplots to Your Novel

Crafting a Successful Romance Subplot

How to Improve your Writing: Subplots and Subtext

Understanding the Role of Subplots

How to Use Subtext in your Writing

The Secret Life of Subtext

How to Use Subtext

Beginning

Creating a Process: Getting Your Ideas onto Paper (And into a Story)

Why First Chapters?

Starting with a Bang

In the Beginning

The Beginning of your Novel that isn’t the Beginning of your Novel

A Beginning from the Middle

Starting with a Bang

First Chapters: What To Include @ The Beginning Writer

23 Clichés to Avoid When Beginning Your Story

Start Writing Now

Done Planning. What Now?

Continuing Your Long-Format Story

How to Start a Novel 

100 best first lines from novels

The First Sentence of a Book Report

How To Write A Killer First Sentence To Open Your Book

How to Write the First Sentence of a Book

The Most Important Sentence: How to Write a Killer Opening

Hook Your Reader from the First Sentence: How to Write Great Beginnings

Foreshadowing

Foreshadowing and the Red Hering

Narrative Elements: Foreshadowing

Foreshadowing and Suspense

Foreshadowing Key Details

Writing Fiction: Foreshadowing

The Literary Device of Foreshadowing

All About Foreshadowing in Fiction

Foreshadowing

Flashbacks and Foreshadowing

Foreshadowing — How and Why to Use It In Your Writing

Setting

Four Ways to Bring Settings to Life

Write a Setting for a Book

Writing Dynamic Settings

How To Make Your Setting a Character

Guide for Setting

5 Tips for Writing Better Settings

Building a Novel’s Setting

Ending

A Novel Ending

How to End Your Novel

How to End Your Novel 2

How to End a Novel With a Punch

How to End a Novel

How to Finish a Novel

How to Write The Ending of Your Novel

Keys to Great Endings

3 Things That End A Story Well

Ending a Novel: Five Things to Avoid

Endings that Ruin Your Novel

Closing Time: The Ending

✑ CHARACTER

Names

Behind the Name

Surname Meanings and Origins

Surname Meanings and Origins - A Free Dictionary of Surnames

Common US Surnames & Their Meanings

Last Name Meanings & Origins

Name Generators

Name Playground

Different Types of Characters

Ways To Describe a Personality

Character Traits Meme

Types of Characters

Types of Characters in Fiction

Seven Common Character Types

Six Types of Courageous Characters

Creating Fictional Characters (Masterlist)

Building Fictional Characters

Fiction Writer’s Character Chart

Character Building Workshop

Tips for Characterization

Fiction Writer’s Character Chart

Advantages, Disadvantages and Skills 

Males

Strong Male Characters

The History and Nature of Man Friendships

Friendship for Guys (No Tears!)

‘I Love You, Man’ and the rules of male friendship

Male Friendship

Understanding Male Friendship

Straight male friendship, now with more cuddling

Character Development

P.O.V. And Background

Writing a Character: Questionnaire

10 Days of Character Building

Getting to Know Your Characters

Character Development Exercises

✑ STYLE

Chapters

How Many Chapters is the Right Amount of Chapters?

The Arbitrary Nature of the Chapter

How Long is a Chapter?

How Long Should Novel Chapters Be?

Chapter & Novel Lengths 

Section vs. Scene Breaks

Dialogue 

The Passion of Dialogue

25 Things You Should Know About Dialogue

Dialogue Writing Tips

Punctuation Dialogue

How to Write Believable Dialogue

Writing Dialogue: The Music of Speech

Writing Scenes with Many Characters

It’s Not What They Say …

Top 10 Tips for Writing Dialogue

Speaking of Dialogue

Dialogue Tips

Interrupted Dialogue

Two Tips for Interrupted Dialogue

Show, Don’t Tell (Description)

“Tell” Makes a Great Placeholder

The Literary Merit of the Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Bad Creative Writing Advice

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do

DailyWritingTips: Show, Don’t Tell

GrammarGirl: Show, Don’t Tell

Writing Style: What Is It?

Detail Enhances Your Fiction

Using Sensory Details

Description in Fiction

Using Concrete Detail

Depth Through Perception

Showing Emotions & Feelings

Character Description

Describing Your Characters (by inkfish7 on DeviantArt)

Help with Character Development

Creating Characters that Jump Off the Page

Omitting Character Description

Introducing Your Character(s): DON’T

Character Crafting

Writer’s Relief Blog: “Character Development In Stories And Novels”

Article: How Do You Think Up Your Characters?

5 Character Points You May Be Ignoring

List of colors, hair types and hairstyles

List of words to use in a character’s description 

200 words to describe hair

How to describe hair

Words used to describe the state of people’s hair

How to describe your haircut

Hair color sharts

Four Ways to Reveal Backstory

Words Used to Describe Clothes

Flashbacks

Using Flashbacks in Writing

Flashbacks by All Write

Using Flashback in Fiction

Fatal Backstory

Flashbacks as opening gambit

Don’t Begin at the Beginning

Flashbacks in Books

TVTropes: Flashback

Objects in the Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear: Flashback Techniques in Fiction

3 Tips for Writing Successful Flashbacks

The 5 Rules of Writing Effective Flashbacks

How to Handle Flashbacks In Writing

Flashbacks and Foreshadowing

Reddit Forum: Is a flashback in the first chapter a good idea?

Forum Discussing Flackbacks

P.O.V

You, Me, and XE - Points of View

What’s Your Point of View?

Establishing the Right Point of View: How to Avoid “Stepping Out of Character”

How to Start Writing in the Third Person

The Opposite Gender P.O.V.

LANGUAGE

 How To Say Said

200 Words Instead of Said

Words to Use Instead of Said

A List of Words to Use Instead of Said

Alternatives to “Walk”

60 Synonyms for “Walk”

✑ USEFUL WEBSITES/LINKS

Grammar Monster

Google Scholar

GodChecker

Tip Of My Tounge

Speech Tags

Pixar Story Rules

Written? Kitten!

TED Talks

DarkCopy

Family Echo

Some Words About Word Count

How Long Should My Novel Be?

The Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test

Writer’s “Cheat Sheets”

Last but not least, the most helpful tool for any writer out there is Google!

[makuroshi]

Haru: [in a crowd and cant find Rin] this calls for drastic measures

Haru: [uses his hands as a megaphone] NANASE HARUKA SUCKS

Rin: [swims through the crowd in 0.1s] the fUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY SHINING

Haru: there he is

[makuroshi]

Okay hear me out (it's a rinharu au of course what do you expect from me anymore) Rin is involved in publicity for a swimming competition for charity, meaning on top of promoting it on social media etc he has to go around giving out flyers and opening registration booths. Naturally he and his team choose to go to universities because that's where the target audience (20ish) are. He's setting up the booth with his colleagues when he sees a boy (man?) staring at one of the posters he pasted. This guy seems interested, Rin thinks, so he approaches him with the registration form, ready to start his speech on the event details etc, but then the guy turns and Rin just goes holy crap... he's my type. Rin stares at him stupidly but manages to collect his composure when Haruka snatches the form from Rin and starts filling it up without saying a word. He hands it back to Rin with the registration fee and he's about to leave for class when Rin calls out "Ummm excuse me! You forgot to write your, err, p-phone number" and Haru's like "there wasnt a column for that?". Rin replies "o-ohh, must be some printing mistakes then. Anyway, we need to contact you, you know, just in case!" Which is a totally reasonable excuse, mind you. Haru shrugs and just fills it up because who the heck cares, he just wants to swim. Haru wants to leave again when Rin says "whoa, you swim free, huh? I swim free too, but i also do butterfly--" in an effort to make conversation but Haru's already running off because he's 10 mins late for 'Art History'. Rin spends the whole day sighing and moping "he ignored me, Sou! he didnt even look at me!" "And i thought we had a connection, or something!" When they're closing the booth (they had quite a number of sign-ups, one specs wearing guy came and babbled about how swimming isnt beautiful but his boyfriend forced him to join anyway) Sou listens patiently to Rin's complaints and laughs, but stops when he looks up. Rin looks too, and he just dies on the spot because Nanase Haruka is there standing in front of them. Haruka has his hands in his pockets, shuffles his feet nervously and asks "uhhh so... you said you swim free?" (The rest is basically a rinharu romcom hahaha)

[andromeda40002019]

u have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting 

[makuroshi]

Why does this sound like something my otp would say

[mackerelisgood]

OOC

// Whenever makuroshi drops by this blog it’s like Christmas. 

[makuroshi]

Awwww but the fact that you actually took the url and made a fantastic Haru RP blog out of it is already a Christmas miracle to me! ;)

[makuroshi]

Title: scars tell stories (but tears tell tragedies)

*Written (late!) for Eruriweek 2015 Day 5: Scars. Also on AO3

Ratings: PG-13

Summary: Life treated Erwin like its own personal canvas, a place to paint the sufferings and troubles of this world, and Erwin, Erwin that idiot, he just took them one after another without so much of a flinch, because that was what he lived for.

He's a soldier.

And Levi remembers every scar on Erwin’s body like they’re carved onto his own skin.

Levi remembers every scar on Erwin’s body like they’re carved onto his own skin.

  He remembers the smaller ones; a tiny, barely visible rise at the edge of his forehead from when he fell down the stairs and hit his head -as told by Erwin-, a white shallow line on his palm from when he accidentally held a sharp maneuver gear blade in his hand in training. There are more, less significant ones that carry fond memories of a moment of carelessness, there are scars that run deep, their stories painful and unpleasant to tell.

  (Like the one at the base of his neck, just an inch above his collarbone, where Levi had pressed his blade in, the pressure heavy but not enough to kill. Levi wanted to press deeper, but his heart lurched and ached so badly when their eyes met; cerulean blue with molten silver. He let go, blade clattering onto the ground. The scar remained, at the spot close to where Erwin's pulse jumps.)

  And Levi had found himself wondering, at times, of the numerous other marks littered all over Erwin's body -the ones Erwin had yet to tell him about. He's caught himself staring at the rise and fall of Erwin's chest as they laid in bed, huddled close under the comfort of the woolen blanket, the pitter-patter of the rain singing a calming lullaby. He had traced the scar that began at the top of Erwin's left hipbone, so small it's barely noticeable, and made a mental note to ask the man about it once he woke.

Life treated Erwin like its own personal canvas, a place to paint the sufferings and troubles of this world, and Erwin, Erwin that idiot, he just took them one after another without so much of a flinch, because that was what he lived for.

  He's a soldier.

  He was a soldier.

Levi watches as his pale hand move to run the wet sponge across the even paler, unmoving chest, tracing the now dulled gash that cuts in a long, jagged line. Ahh. That’s gonna leave a scar, he thinks. And a broken part of him laments the fact that this scar will be Erwin’s last; the only one he’ll never see.

He continues washing in silence, feeling the dips and contours of Erwin’s body that he has become so familiar with. But this coldness, this icy sting seeping through his fingers with each touch is strange, because the Erwin who always held him tight in his arms at night was warm. Warm, and alive.

“You’re fucking stupid, you know that?” Levi mutters under his breath, “Going on with all that ‘us against the world’ shit… And yet you left first. Leaving me with this mess.” As he says this, the water deflects off Erwin’s skin, landing and soaking the front of his shirt with a loud splatter. It clings to his body, and Levi scrunches his face, letting out a strained laughter, breath hitching in his throat. “Hah… Even when you’re dead you’re still mocking me.”

Erwin’s eyes are closed, soft blonde hair wetly plastered around his scalp and face. The golden colour has greyed into a dull platinum, and the strands look so coarse, not a trace of the neatly combed locks Levi was so used to see. Levi uses his hand to run through them, letting it fall back in place. He traces lower, his fingers lingering on the bloodless lips.

  Pale. Pale. So pale, and cold.

  Slowly, the rusty smell of blood disappears, replaced by a sickeningly sweet scent of vanilla and clean aftershave. When the washing is done, Levi gently dabs the towel to dry him off, slipping Erwin’s stiff limbs slowly into the clothes. He feels heavy, heavier than Levi can remember, and it momentarily reminds him of the way Erwin’s body felt pressed close onto his as they desperately fucked in the quiet room, the night before the great riot.

“Levi,” Erwin had said, breathed, against his lips as they sought for release, for assurance and relief in presence of each other. He didn’t say anything else afterwards, but at that time, Levi understood. Levi… live.

Levi chuckles darkly at himself. What a thing to recall, at such a time. But the more he tries to push the thoughts away, the more they come flooding in, and then in a matter of seconds, he is reminded of Erwin and his softly whispered words, Erwin and his bright teasing smiles, Erwin and his little kisses that were always too gentle for Levi’s liking, Erwin and his undeterred courage and bravery that had somehow convinced Levi into thinking that yes, perhaps they can one day be free. Erwin… Erwin…

  “Erwin.”

  Levi’s trembling hands clutch desperately onto the rough cotton of Erwin’s clothes, leaving crumpled folds in their wake as he cries silently, sinking to his knees.

  Tell me, how am I to live, when my purpose is lost?

They have to pass the city to get the burial site, and along the way, Levi hears people talk.

  They talk, about how the defunct Scouting Legion Commander had finally fallen. About the rebellion leader -the filthy heartless bastard who once dreamt of the impossible- sacrificed the innocent for his own desired future and ended up winning nothing but losing everything he had. They spit out his name with absolute disgust, like the thought of the man having walked this Earth before his deserved death is a blasphemy. Commander Erwin Smith. The murderer. The scum.

Levi listens. He doesn't want to; there isn't much of a choice. But if he listens a little more closely he can hear distant cries of a mother weeping, of children sobbing silently in the alley as they watch their hope, their faith, their wings of freedom, passing by in the guarded coffin, lifeless and unbreathing. ”This is unfair,” Levi hears a young boy say as he stands alone in the dark corner, face smudged and dirty, clothes tattering at the hems. He reminds Levi of himself in the Underground so much that he has to turn away.

Although of course, hatred rings louder than love. It’s all-consuming, and drives the compassion away.

  They arrive before late evening falls at the silent stretch of land, pale green patches peeking out from a sea of red-brown soil. There’s a darker shade at an area, Levi notices, wet and freshly dug for this occasion. How appropriate, he thinks, staring at the spot that they’re heading to. Dark and wet, for a goodbye.

Hange’s hand comes to rest on top of his shoulder, meaning to signal him to move. He looks up at her, sees the greyish circles under her sunken eyes, visible even with the glasses in between, and nods, saying nothing. Levi mourns the loss of the brilliant light that used to twinkle in her eyes, gleaming with curiosity.

  Death and grief. This is the price they have to pay.

Levi knows. Hange knows. The Scouting Legion knows.

Erwin knew.

  Levi closes his eyes and sees it replay in a torturous loop in his head, the moment the blade pierces through Erwin’s heart, taking him away forever. They killed him because he fought. They killed him because of his voice, and his dreams.

Commander Erwin, the cruel, ruthless criminal deserved to die, they say, but as he watches them lower the coffin under the ground, little by little, Levi starts to think.

  What did Erwin Smith deserve, really?

  “Not this,” Levi whispers softly, voice a broken hush in the eerie silence, carried away by the cold November breeze. He places the bouquet of wild flowers on top of the fresh soil, crimson and lavender hues blending in softly with the earthly tones, and curls his hands tight, feeling the nails digging into his skin. “Not this.”

Levi knows every scar on Erwin’s body like they’re embedded in his soul, a part of him that will never fade away regardless of the many times he scrubs at it, slashes and stabs and lets it bleed. He tries to forget, but he remembers. Every single one of them.

  He remembers.

    And remembering hurts.