#escapechanwrites

[zombie-honeymoon]

Title- Last One To Scream Ships- Kakuzu/Kisame/Hidan, Sasori/Konan Chapters- 1/1 Rating- M Warnings- None Prompt- Don’t Scream Summary- Hidan devises a plan to get Kisame and Kakuzu to become his boyfriends, said plan involves a haunted house and a contest to see who is the last to scream that he is sure he's going to win. It seems Kakuzu and Kisame might have a plan of their own, thanks to a tip from Konan.

Hidan had bought the tickets for the haunted house, he had talked his plan over with Konan and Sasori. Each of them thought such a plan was unnecessary, there were too many variables. Why did he need a plan at all, Konan had wanted to know.“Why not just sit down with them over a nice dinner and tell them how you feel, you’re all adults, you don’t need to play games. Besides,” Konan had said, “why make it complicated? I’m not sure this will work. They might not get the message.”“It might work on Kisame, I can see him getting scared and screaming, but Kakuzu… he’s a tough one.” Sasori shrugged, “You can always just keep inviting them out places until they realize they’ve been going on dates with you at the same time.” 

Konan then had to tell Hidan no, that was not a good idea, and told Sasori to stop encouraging such immature behavior.

“Fine, but let us know what happens.” Sasori stood and held out his hand for Konan to take, “We have a date of our own to get to, reservations are in thirty minutes, can’t be late.”

Slipping her hand into Sasori’s, Konan let him help her to her feet, “Good luck, Hidan. You’re a handsome man and Kisame and Kakuzu both have eyes and can clearly see that.”

<<< Read the rest on AO3 >>>

@naruto-rare-pair-support

[zombie-honeymoon]

Title- Candy Corn Ships- Kakuzu/Itachi Chapters- 1/1 Rating- Gen Warnings- None Summary-Itachi has drug Kakuzu to the store to buy Halloween candy for the trick or treaters, and then to buy some of his favorite candy, the candy corn, for himself. On learning that Kakuzu has never tried it before, he shares some with him. Kakuzu has regrets. Prompt- Candy Corn

“It’s a waste of money,” Kakuzu grumbled as he got out of the car. Why did they need to hand out candy to the local neighborhood kids? He had never done so before, and he couldn't imagine that parents actually wanted their kids going around getting candy from complete strangers. He was sure the dentists loved it, though. If he were a dentist, he was sure he would see an increase of patients coming in. Not that he would want to deal with children, but-

“It’s my money,” Itachi told him, breaking him out of his thoughts, “and my decision on how I spend it. If I want to spend it on candy to pass out to the children of my neighborhood on one night out of the year, it's my choice not yours.”

“Fine, I just think you could better invest your money than in helping dentists and doctors line their pockets.”

Itachi just stared at him as they crossed the parking lot. Was he serious? He Was. 

Read the rest on AO3 >>>

@naruto-rare-pair-support

[zombie-honeymoon]

Title- Pumpkin Spiced Kisses Ships- Hidan/Sakura Chapters- 1/1 Rating- T Warnings- None Summary- Company policy forbids employees from dating, so Sakura and Hidan have come up with a plan where they're just friends with benefits, no dating involved. It's all going so well, until they both realize they have feelings for each other. Prompt- Pumpkin Spice

As soon as Sakura met Hidan on his first day at work, the sparks flew between them. But due to company policy, they couldn't date or risk being fired, and that was just out of the question for Sakura. So instead, they found a way around it and became friends with benefits instead. Hidan seemed happy with the set up, and so did Sakura. They had agreed to keep quiet about it, to not to be too friendly at work. Great sex, no pressure to come up with dates or to talk at work or anywhere else.

It was the perfect arrangement and had been working out perfectly, too.

Until Hidan spent the night unplanned, and Sakura woke up to find him in her kitchen, nearly naked except for his boxers, making breakfast and rummaging around looking for coffee.

Her inner voice was practically screaming at her as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing, 'Damn, Sakura, you really hit the jackpot with this one!' 

Hidan had never asked if he could sleep over and her first instinct was to tell him to leave, but there was already food cooking, and he just looked so good in her kitchen. It would have been rude to ask him to leave when he went to all the trouble of cooking for her. He seemed to not notice her, so Sakura cleared her throat and he looked up. 

Read the rest on AO3 

@naruto-rare-pair-support

[zombie-honeymoon]

Made a mood board to go with my new fic 'Hitchhiker from Hell’, enjoy an excerpt while I finish it. 

Hidan hated the way the man scrutinized him as he stood on the side of the road, looking him up and down with clear disdain. He was well aware that his clothes were filthy, how he stunk like he hadn’t showered in weeks (two and a half to be exact), and that there were blood stains on his pants and on the hem of his shirt. But Hidan desperately needed a ride and gave the man a winning smile. At least he had brushed his teeth twice a day while up there, he hadn’t left civilization completely behind.

“Have you looked at yourself lately? You look like a derelict.” There was a pause, “You have money?” “Yeah, yeah, I’ve got money,” Hidan lied, “You’ll take me into town?”

The man nodded, “Get in.” 

Hidan hurried over to the passenger side, thanked his god, and hopped in. It felt good to be out of the sun and off his feet, it wasn’t quite enough so he removed his hiking shoes, followed by his socks and wiggled his toes.

“That’s disgusting. Put your shoes and socks back on.” Hidan ignored that, “Hey, what’s your name? I’m Hidan.”

“Kakuzu.” 

Read Chapters 1, 2, and 3 on AO3. Now complete!

[zombie-honeymoon]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapter Summary- Orochimaru just needs some funding to continue his research. What is Rasa so afraid of? It’s just science. Chapter Warnings- Mentions and talk about death, but no one dies.

It’s finally finished, it took me so long even though it was mostly done.

[zombie-honeymoon]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Summary: Rasa works as a loan officer and suddenly gets a string of random people coming into his office asking for a loan, each with a more wild and ridiculous reason than the last.

A gift for @thatshipcat 

I’ve had a lot of fun writing this, thank you for requesting it!  

[zombie-honeymoon]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Summary- Rasa works as a loan officer and suddenly gets a string of random people coming into his office asking for a loan, each with a more wild and ridiculous reason than the last.

Chapter Three- Sasori’s Masterpiece  Sasori is in desperate need of a loan for what will become his masterpiece. Unfortunately Rasa doesn’t share in his view of what art is.

[zombie-honeymoon]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Summary- Rasa works as a loan officer and suddenly gets a string of random people coming into his office asking for a loan, each with a more wild and ridiculous reason than the last.

Chapter Two - Tsunade’s Lost Weekend

Tsunade tries to get herself a loan for a weekend getaway, but Rasa is the one getting a jump on the weekend when Karura has to stop by his work to bring him something.