redrew an old art. og under cut if you wanna see how much worse it was
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redrew an old art. og under cut if you wanna see how much worse it was
[Image Description: The "Get rid of the couches, we can't let people know we sit" meme. It is a still from a Chris Fleming skit, featuring Chris Fleming himself in the role of Gale. He is saying: "Get rid of the stone façades, we can't let the Hermits know we have unfinished builds." /End Description.]
This was Pixlriff's Empires SMP Season 2 Episode 18, right?
for requests what about continuing on your fic of cc!joel being the one in empires?
Asked and received!
I'll continue this with a third part at some point. Just didn't want the post to be too long.
Previous Part Here
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PixlRiff has made a mistake.
That, alone, isn’t a rarity (he is but a living being, after all, just as prone to mishaps and poor decisions as any other one), and though he’d love to lift his chin and declare there to be no issue here, it’s become quite clear in the recent days that such would be impossible.
Maybe if Joel was quieter Pix could manage it. If he weren’t so intent on spouting absurdities to Pix’s ignorant players and pleading for someone to believe him, Pix is quite sure things could have gotten on reasonably well.
But, no, Joel Smallishbeans is insolent and stubborn and loud. And of course that had gotten the man into trouble.
The elytra at his back buzzes as he streaks through the skies of his empire. He has not one but them all, claiming every land within the continent, control reaching as far as the Titans may touch.
He is the Loremaster, afterall, and this is his story.
But stories have order and outlines and regulated patterns of cause and effect which make up a thrilling and compelling narrative. Stories require order, and so if Joel wasn’t eager to play his role, Pix may have to revise.
The fields and trees give way to a mesa, and at the heart of it Pix comes to land.
The Sheriff is there already, pacing back and forth with a nervous bite to his nails, muttering strange happenings about “the law” and “respect.”
But his eyes find Pix’s and he summons a smile, reassured by the presence. “Pix!”
“I came as soon as I could, Sheriff.” Pix’s eyes are locked on the small wooden building off to the side, clearly hobbled together by inexperienced hands. He tilts his head at it, stepping up to its porch without waiting for permission. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Just the new guy causin’ a fuss,” Jimmy says, a strange sort of hesitancy to approach his own building. “Been driving Lizzie up the wall and, well, I am the law, ain’t I? So I go and try to help her sort it out and–”
“And you arrest him?” Pix says, an eyebrow raised as he nods into the station. Through the stained glass windows Pix can just make out a white-robed figure huddled in the corner of a cell.
“He was being creepy!”
“Creepy how?”
The Sheriff winces, eyes finding the cliffs of the canyon as he crosses his arms, one hand raised to continue the incessant chewing of nails. He doesn’t say anything. Just averts his gaze.
It’s enough to soften Pix’s heart, and Pix abandons the graveness he was wearing. He can’t say his practices are ethical, but all the same Pix cares for his players. He really does. So to see one clearly unwell by his mistake…?
Pix offers the Sheriff a smile, hoping it might bridge the gap. “What’s going on?”
“You’re gonna think I’ve gone mad.”
“Already do,” Pix teases, and the Sheriff snorts at that, unease melting away just a bit.
“Right,” the Sheriff sighs and, at last, begins to approach his station. “Pretty sure it’s witchcraft. I mean–things have been weird since that witch popped up out in the woods, and now this guy? He’s spouting all sorts of nonsense about my tubes and causing discord.”
Pix frowns, face contorted at recognition of words which don’t quite belong to this realm. He stays silent, though, as the Sheriff fumbles with the keys to the station. “And he knows things. Things he definitely shouldn’t know.”
“Like?”
The lock clicks, and with a stiff arm the Sheriff pushes the door to the station in. “Like my name.”
The floorboards creak under unwelcomed weight as Pix steps inside, ducking under the low hanging doorframe. Within the darkness of the cell a figure stirs, and bright green eyes lock onto Pix’s.
“Pix!”
Joel's up in an instant, all but slamming into the iron bars at sight of the loremaster, even if Pix keeps himself from returning the greeting.
This isn’t your player, he reminds himself. This is someone else…
But it certainly looks like the god the loremaster intended to bring, even if this figure is clearly mortal. He looks utterly atrocious, hair undone, beard lost, so far from the eleven foot frame the rumored god was in possession of. Before Pix is a man tired and confused, his entire weight pressed against the bars as if afraid he’d collapse from merely standing.
“Please,” Joel pleads, reaching out towards Pix. “You remember me, yeah? Minecraft, empires! The Lore and the Lore and the Law! That’s us! That’s us three!”
Pix winces, stepping away from the man’s touch. “How long have you had him in here?”
“Just a few hours,” the Sheriff says, coming up beside Pix. “He looked like this when I found him following Lizzie. Horrid thing. Don’t know how he’s a god.”
“Please,” Joel pleads again, forehead pressed against the bar. “Jimmy, please, let me out. I need to find Lizzie. She doesn’t–she doesn’t believe me. I need her.”
Jimmy. Pix watches his player wince at the name, clearly uncomfortable by its use. Pix knows it, of course (he knows everything about his dear players), but there’s no one within the Story that the Sheriff has told it to.
It’s a flag, crimson and waving. If this Joel knows the Sheriff’s name, what more could he know?
What more could he spoil?
“Right,” Pix says with a huff, holding out his hands towards the Sheriff. “Keys.”
The Sheriff snorts. “Keys?! Are you out of your bloody mind? We can’t let him out.”
“We’re not letting him out. I’ll handle him.”
He hopes the statement isn’t as ominous as it sounds, but judging by Joel’s sudden silence, it must hold some weight.
The Sheriff seems to want to argue (and if he did, there’s plenty Pix could do to resolve it), but he keeps quiet and, after a moment, shoves a key into Pix’s hand. “I’ll ready an ‘I told you so’.”
Pix takes the key graciously. “I’m sure you will.”
He doesn’t think much before inserting it into the lock and twisting. Before Pix has a chance to remove the key, Joel is shoving his way through the door, throwing Pix back into a shouting Jimmy and sprinting out the door, barefoot feet slapping against wood and sand.
Jimmy shouts, summoning a sword in preparation of pursuit only for Pix to stop him with a hand on his chest.
“Let him run,” Pix says, head tilted in consideration of the escapee. “I want to see how far he gets."
Next Part (coming soon)
Hearing pix say "pondering the orb" and "himbo" in his recent episode is such an experience.... he Knows Things
PixandriaGender
PixandriaGender (or Pixandrianic) : a gender related to Pixandria from Empires SMP! It can be related to copper, candles, deserts, or sand stone! It can also be related to the architecture in the Pixandria
Pixandria themed pronouns!
Candle/Candles/Candleself
Wick/Wicks/Wickself
Flame/Flames/Flameself
Light/Lights/Lightself
Lantern/Lanterns/Lanternself
Totem/Totems/Totemself
Copper/Coppers/Copperself
Honey/Comb/Honeys/Combs/Honeyself (or Combself)
Vigil/Vigils/Vigilself
Minute/Minutes/Minutself
Hour/Hours/Hourself
Tick/Tocks/Tickself(or Tockself)
Century/Centurys/Centuryself
Millennia/Millennias/Millenniaself
🕯/🕯’s
🪔/🪔’s
⏳/⏳’s
⌛️/⌛️’s
🕰/🕰’s
🔥/🔥’s
God I love pix’s timelapse music it’s so good
remembered that if i want something for this ship i need to make it myself sooo
based on this
Okay, but Pixlriffs' character is one of if not my favourite thing about this season of Empires. He's just an archeologist guy! He's discovering the weirdest structures via old legends and research or just plain luck. He's found an ancient death-powered machine and his order of business was A. to poke at it and B. figure out how to make it even more efficient at being a death-powered machine. He is an academic through and through. He has a doctorate and he's going to make it everybody else's problem. Outstanding