Her little light
part 2
The first time had been heart wrenching. Even while getting out of the car her legs had shaken so badly she had feared for that short second that she would kneel over. What an impression that would have been, huh? Especially in front of a five star hotel that only the Elite of Society was able to afford.
It had indeed been a long cry from her run down apartment with it's screeching wood floors and the rattling walls from the incoming trains near the main station.
She remembered checking the picture on her phone multiple times and rereading all the information she had, before she had actually gotten out of the car, the driver shooting her another cautioning glance, as if to say 'don't fuck this up or it'll be your head on the platter'.
The man she had been waiting for, had stood in front of the entrance his phone in his hand, rapidly typing something. She had taken a deep breath, when she had realized that at least the picture had been true. Sure, the agency checked their clients before accepting them, but an agency already being deeply in the illegal network had never seemed extremely trustworthy to her.
The anxiety doubled down, when the stranger and her went into the restaurant with her on his arm.
It was alright. She only had to get through the night. She only had to survive this dinner, looking pleasant like a dumb doll, and would then just have to accompany the man to his hotel. Nothing more nothing less. Just dinner and Sex. And after that she would have a big wad of cash that she could have never brought in while bartending.
Everything would work out fine.
Sex had seldom been a pleasurable occasion for her, even before then. She was used to just lying down and taking what they gave or giving what they wanted.
That night she understood that there was a different kind of humiliation of taking the tip of the table while the client explained to her that he would definitely reschedule her while wiring her agency the money which would then immediately go back to hers, obviously minus the interest.
That morning, after sending her babysitter home, she had slid down the shower wall and cried under the shower head. She had still been able to feel his hands everywhere. There had been marks all over her body. Bites, the occasional handprint from the slaps he had dished out, and her hair still hurt from the way he had pulled on it.
That morning she had prayed to never have to meet this man again.
But alas, it was another bill paid. It was another wad of cash that went into the savings for her little light. Maybe she wouldn't have the life she had always dreamed of having but she would make damn sure that her son would get whatever the hell he wanted. She would make damn sure that her little light at least would have everything he needed.
And maybe some day, when Kiro was grown up enough to understand, and when she had enough saved up to move them to a better place and when she had gotten her online degree, she could become a mother Kiro could be proud of.
Yes. Maybe some day.
What a great dream that had been.
Now, a good five years later, there wasn't even an inch of anxiety left over as she sat at the fine table waiting for one of her regulars.
He had been an intimidating man, when she had first met him. Through the vetting she had done beforehand she had known exactly who he was, what he was and most importantly, who he worked for. It had taken some time until she had been able to engage in completely normal conversation with him, since she had also been quite new to the business at that point and he could be intimidating enough on his own as well.
However after being his escort for a good of four years, she could pride herself in knowing the man quite well. He really was nothing more than another rich Dude with too many connections and own emotional problems to honestly consider Dating.
That was always the best client to have.
“Good Evening, Koko!” Smiling brightly the young woman got up, as the man made his way over to her table. His usual red jacket thing, she never knew what to call it exactly, hung loose over his arms reminding her that he probably hadn't eaten right again.
But that wasn't something she was to worry about.
It was none of her business
“Evenin'.”
His voice sounded a bit gruffer than usual as well as he leaned down to press a light kiss on her cheek in greeting. It was one of those nights then.
The bracelets on his wrists jingled as he pulled away her chair for her to sit in, before taking a seat as well.
She remembered the first time he had done that for her. Up to this point her clients had been relatively well behaved, but Koko had been and still was her best paying client. Surprisingly enough he was also the one who was the most cordial, if she could call it that. When he had pushed away the chair for her the first time she had been so flabbergasted that she had outright told him to not do it again.
The simple raise of his brow had made her apologize for the apparently perceived disrespect immediately and she honestly didn't know why he had decided to meet with her again.
“How was your week, Koko?” She always started with some light conversation before Koko would tell her what exactly he expected from her when it was one of those days.
He only grunted, as the waiter left their table.
“If we ignore the idiots at work that I have to deal with on a daily fucking basis, it was okay-ish.”
Someone was prickly.
As he took a sip from his red wine she felt him scrutinising her in a way that he hadn't since their first meeting. It was the moment she knew she wouldn't like what he would say next. Maybe he finally got tired of her?
He sighed shaking his head and taking a sip from his water, “anyways. How was your week? I hope you bought yourself something for once? Honestly. I don't think I have seen one dress on you that I never saw before. What do you do with all my money?”
If she were any other person his direct call out might have stung the way it was supposed to. Now though, she only made a note to put special attention on the left side of his spine when she gave him a massage later. Koko was rather difficult to handle when that man hadn't eaten, hadn't had a somehow uneventful work day and a tense back to top it off.
“Well, I'd say what I do with my money, Koko,” she simply teased, a flirtatious lilt in her voice as she took his free hand and starting a light massage of his muscles, “isn't any of your concern, as long as I look perfectly the part I need to look. Wouldn't you say?”
“I have a proposition for you.” He started again, after looking her up and down, his tone serious, still not pulling his hand away. It was always a good sign. “First of all, I would double the rate I'm paying usually for the evening in question.” He stopped, letting the information sink in.
Double the rate? That was... that was a lot of money. That was honestly too much. He was talking about 15k for Gods sake. With that money the dream of being able to send Kiro away for college seemed all the closer. He would be able to get the best education there was with everything she had already saved for him. Hell, maybe, just maybe he would even be able to study outside the country when the time came.
What was the catch?
So deep in her thoughts, she hadn't realized she had stopped the massage, until Koko lightly tapped her hand, which made her start up again, though a bit more hesitantly. Koko only started up speaking again, after the fact.
“Second, I wouldn't leave you the whole evening. You'd be by my side the whole time.”
Oh she really wouldn't like that, would she?
“I'll also take it upon myself to send you the correct wardrobe for the evening. The only task you would have is look pretty on my arm as usual and maybe have some pleasant conversation.”
“What is the evening about?” She asked him after a while of silence as he didn't seem like he wanted to elaborate and for a short second she thought she saw something like guilt flash through his eyes.
“It's a simple business dinner with the executives of my organisation. Not more not less.”
What?!
That was it?
15k just for that?
She had to be missing something there. Right?
Wait. His organisation? Wouldn't that mean Bonten? As in the most dangerous Gang in Japan right now? That Bonten?
The amount suddenly started to make sense.
“For what do you need a date for that?” There was a slight accusatory tone in her voice and she withdrew her hand. Sometimes she just couldn't keep her thoughts inside her head.
Koko chuckled, “can't I simply enjoy your presence?”
She bit her lip. That was a sweet deal. But was it worth the potential danger? What if this meeting ended up being the one finally creating the bullet with her name on it? She couldn't let her Son grow up without a mother!
“Can I think about it?” She asked him after a short while.
Koko nodded slowly. “I can give you three days. Then I need to know. The dinner would be in a week. Saturday night at 10.”
If she really did decide to go she would have to find another babysitter. The teenager who usually looked after Kiro, a sweet eighteen year old girl who was preparing for entrance exams had already told her that she wouldn't be able to work next Saturday.
After that conversation was over, some stress seemed to fall of from Koko's shoulders and the answers he gave her throughout the rest of dinner were nothing short of polite and charm.
“Ready to go?” He asked her, as the waiter cleaned up the plates.
It was time for that part of the night, she still dreaded. In all the five years of doing the escort service it just didn't seem to get any easier. Sure it helped that Koko was a regular and surprisingly more gentle than most of her clients, but she just didn't seem to be able to get over the feeling of powerlessness it gave her.
Koko's hand on her back created a steady pulse as he led her outside after paying.
The ride to the hotel was quiet. His hand had wandered from the small of her back to the inside of her thighs in the same way it always did only leaving its place when he needed to switch gears. Funnily enough it were always these car rides that the young woman realized that out of all the clients she had, Koko was probably the most touch starved. He always needed some kind of bodily contact if the surrounding allowed for it.
The hotel the two stayed at was always a different one, always high end, and always in a part of a city she could have never dreamed of stepping in without him. Out of curiosity she once visited Ginza, a part of Tokyo, Koko liked to stay at on her own when she had made the time and just looking at the hellishly expensive shop windows made her feel filthy. And that was after starting to make good money with the whole escorting spiel.
The hotel Koko had chosen this time was another glamorous one. The name did scratch an itch, but she couldn't really explain why.
After Koko had parked and opened the door for her, he gave the keys to a valet who seemingly didn't need a reminder to be extremely careful with his car.
The inside of the hotel was as luxurious as the outside and it honestly didn't do anything to cause her wonder anymore. It was just another picture of what she would never be able to afford, because her first and last concern would always be the well being of her son. That's where her money went and that's where she was happy seeing her money going. If having sex with rich men, could buy her son the best education and a flat in a good part of the city then that was all that was needed.
And who knew. If she really did take this job Koko had proposed, maybe she could finally at least take a step back and restart her own education.
Maybe it really did end up being worth it.
The ring of the elevator, signalling that they had reached the suite pushed her out of her musings violently.
It would be fine. Just the same old, with someone she at least partly trusted. Hell anyone would be worse than Koko. After all maybe she could even consider him a nice acquaintance at this point.
He was careful with her in a way no other of her clients were. There really wasn't a need for her anxiety to spark again.
“How about you finally get rid of this awful jacket so I can get out that painful knot near your spine again.” She whispered in his ear, while letting her fingers glide slowly up and down his back, the cloth of his jacket feeling as expensive as always.
“I always wonder how you know,” Koko answered while turning around, “I think it's your job to take it off though.”
Obviously. Not a penny from his hand without doing the actual work, she thought, suppressing the chuckle that wanted to slip out at that. Instead she started busying her hands on the buttons, kissing down the every speck of newly bared skin while starting to walk him towards the bed.
Maybe she'd be able to finish everything quickly? That way she might be able to get more than four hours of sleep, before preparing breakfast for both her son and the babysitter? The poor girl was probably kept up by the little ruffian for quite some time and it was a Sunday. She deserved to sleep in form time to time.
Was she a bad mother? Sure, the babysitter came only once a week, at most twice but her son had a no good prostitute-
Stop, that was not the time and place.
Koko paid her well enough to deserve at least every ounce of attention she was willing to give. She owed him at least that.
Once his legs hit the end of the bed she finally stripped the jacket off.
“Am I allowed to put my attention on your back now, Sir?”
Koko chuckled, sitting down on the bed, “you know, I might have, if you weren't such a damn tease. Right now, I think there's something else that needs attention. If you really want to massage me, you're going to have to earn it.”
It really was one of those days. He would fight her tooth and nail on every act that wasn't overtly sexual, wouldn't he?
Throwing him a demure smile, she got to work, carefully opening up his velvet pants all the while kissing down his stomach and v-line, slowly ridding him of his trousers and boxer shorts and stroking him a few times, before finally taking him in her mouth, all the while maintaining eye contact with him.
Two hours later, she was completely exhausted lying next to him on the bed. God she was so tired.
Koko's fingers were painting feathery pictures on her skin.
“You know, usually I have to wrestle you back into bed for just a few more seconds of lying around. You sure you alright?”
Sighing she hid her face underneath her arm.
“Oh you know,” she did her best to shoot him a half grin, “just age catching up with me.”
Koko sighed at that. Right. She had forgotten. Age was a bit of a prickly subject with the man.
“You know it's only these tiny moments that you really do look your age. If I were a better man, I would kick you out with some more money and tell you to make something out of yourself.”
But your not,” she whispered, “it's exactly because you are the man that you are, that this arrangement works so well.”
It was that moment. That second, where his hands stopped painting circles on her shoulders and instead went to the back of her scalp, carefully massaging it, that she knew the next conversation would be the dreaded one. It had started around two years ago. After he had helped her get out from her old agency, while allowing her to keep some of her normal regulars, that the conversation first came up.
“You know, I'd be able to care for you without a problem. You would just need to let me. Become my sugar baby. You wouldn't need to do this escorting shit any longer, just to be able to pay your fucking rent, because you know as well as I do, that none of them pay you like I can and do.”
She sighed, forcing herself to sit up, “Koko,” god she was so tired, “we've been over this. My answer will stay the same as it has the times before. It's a no. I appreciate the offer, but I can't.”
The man rolled his eyes shoving his hand through his white hair. “Why not? I don't think I've ever asked.”
The fact that a man like him still asked, was something that deeply surprised her every time.
“Koko, I just can't.”
Maybe she had pushed her luck with him a tad bit too much, because the look he gave her was every bit the one of a hardened criminal.
“That's not good enough. I'd say I've been rather patient with you. I want a fucking reason this time around. And it better be a good one.”
The threat of or else hanging up in the air made her wonder if she should push her luck a bit further. She had never liked to be told what to do. One look at his eyes, completely devoid of all the usual mischief, made her rethink.
“Because you're possessive, Hajime.” She nearly would have told him that sometimes she worried that this whole deal wasn't completely transactional for him, “I can't be dependent on a single man in my life ever again. The moment you drop me, because I have outlived my purpose, I will be alone. Without a network to support me, to fall back on. And since we can't put a date on when you will abandon me, and that you will, I need to use every opportunity I can to make sure I have enough money to live comfortably. So no, Koko. I can't.”
With that she finally got up off the bed. Maybe he finally understood it now.
He was silent, as she went along getting dressed, knowing that tomorrow the money would have been transferred to her bank account. Because that was all it was. Money.
His next words had been drowned out by the elevator doors closing. If she would have heard them, maybe she would have considered trying to cut off all ties with him.
And if just for the purpose of her own sanity.
As she closed the door to her apartment, Silence greeted her. Taking a second to take a breath she just stood behind the closed door for a second before ridding herself of the coat, hanging it up on the hanger and making her way over to the kitchen. Downing a glass of water she finally dared to throw a glance at the clock hanging on the wall. Half past four. Too late again. Maybe if she went to bed now, she would be able to sleep at least for two hours before getting back up again, to make breakfast for her son and babysitter. Kiro sadly still was somewhat of an early riser. But then again, she should probably count herself lucky. There were kids that got up at six instead of seven.
Settling into bed, she tried to forget about the evening. Most of all Koko's preposition.
It sounded all the more enticing the more he asked her. For the sake of her two hours of sleep, she still decided to make it a problem for future her.
She had just finished cooking the pancakes as her little whirlwind stumbled inside the kitchen.
“Mommy! You're home! Look at what me and Hanna-san drew yesterday. She put it on the fridge. Look. It's a gigantic bra- brachiosaurus. I called him Totoro, because Hanna-san told me he would protect me!”
Smiling the woman had turned around, first to Kiro to raise him up, “it's Hanna -san and me, Kiro. Remember. First you call the other person,” and snuggle him against her. Then she finally turned to the fridge.
Yeah, painting was absolutely not his strong suit, she thought as she looked at the picture. Without his explanation she honestly would have been unable to say what it was.
“Totoro is beautiful, dear. Just as precious as you. Did you sleep well?”
After breakfast and sending home a still sleepy but thankfully happy Hanna, Kiro helped her cutting up some fruit to take with them to the park. She had never thought that she would love listening to all kinds of information about Dinosaurs as she did, as her son talked her ear off.
An hour into playing hide and seek at the park, Kiro finally decided to go play by himself on the playground situated inside the park, allowing the young woman to finally sit down and take a sip of her energy drink infused coffee. Days like this made her remember why she did everything she did. She really should call Koko tonight and tell him that she would accept the dinner with his organisation. If it meant seeing more smiles on this tiny face she would fight the world for her little light.
“My, I didn't expect to see someone this pretty today. May I sit with you?”
Surprised the woman turned her head around, taking her eyes off her son and at least staring at an overwhelmingly tall man dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white shirt. His lilac hair falling into his sharp face she did have to agree that he was rather pretty.
“Sure,” she slowly said. There was something about this man. She had seen him somewhere before, “be my guest.” With that she turned back around, taking another sip of her coffee, while watching over Kiro again.
“Autsch, that hurt my ego just the tiniest bit, sweets. I've never been shot down this quickly before.” The man beside her started up again, a teasing hurt in his voice and she turned back around to him.
“Sorry,” she started clarifying, “I'm not-”
The man interrupted her, “interested? Yeah I figured. Damn. Your man must be happy.”
“I don't-”
“You don't have a man?! Now I feel even worse.”
Fucking! Could he stop interrupting her? He was thinking so fast her sleep addled mind had trouble keeping up.
“Sorry. Do we know each other?” She asked again, her tone taking on a sharper tone, finally looking him up and down. Her eyes instantly fell onto the tattoo on his neck. The same one Koko wore.
He was another executive. Had Koko? No. For what would he send another executive to her. And if he did want to observe her or whatever, he would find someone more inconsipcous than this man
He grinned. “Ah,finally. The question I was hoping for. We don't yet, dear. I'm Ran. Pleasure to meet you.”
Telling him her name, she turned his name over in her head a few times.
Ran. Was he the one Koko complained about constantly? No, that place took a man named Sanzu if she remembered correctly,
“Can I help you somehow?” The woman asked, her voice still as sharp. She had not went out today to hold conversations with another gangster. The goal today was spending time with her son.
“Just wondering what a beautiful woman such as yourself is doing here all by herself.”
Before she could answer, her son came running over. “Mommy! Look! I found a worm.” Grinning brightly he held the poor animal right into her face as he came to a halt in front of her.
Shaking her head lightly, she kneeled down in front of him, in order to become eye level with him. “Kiro,” a strict tone in her voice, “what have I told you about picking up random animals?”
The little ruffian had the nerve to look the slightest bit sheepish, as he put the worm back into the ground, “to always be careful with animals and con- consider that the smaller the more, uh, fra- fragile they are?”
“Exactly. That's my sweet boy. Now what do you not do when you find a worm?”
He bit his lip the slightest bit, leaning his head to the side while thinking, “that I shouldn't run with it? And instead be extra gentle?”
Stroking his hair, she grinned at him, holding her hand out for a high five. “Exactly.”
As Kiro looked up at his mother, he suddenly started to realize that his mother wasn't actually alone. Shying away, he quickly hid behind her, clutching her legs, as she stood up again and peeked around her to look at him.
“Aww, now who is that little man?” Ran asked, cooing at the child.”
Taking on a protective stance, not trusting the man in front of her, she took a little side step to be completely in front of Kiro.
“That's my son. Why don't you run a long dear. The swing is free now. I'll come over in a second.”
With that Kiro nodded at her, threw a last glance at Ran and took off towards the swings.
“He's very precious. No need to be so protective though. I wouldn't hurt a child. Nor you. At least as long as it isn't consensual?”
Rolling her eyes she put her hands on her hips. “Ran-san. I am not interested. My plate is full enough, I do not need another man in my life. Now, please move along!”
Ran sighed as if the load of a thousand worlds had just been dropped on his shoulders.
“Alright. I get it. It's been a pleasure to meet you though. I'm sure you're a great mother by the way. I would have killed to have one as attentive as you. You two have a nice day.”
That did have the effect of making her blush. It wasn't all that often, someone complemented her on her education skills. Heck, most other mothers she had the misfortune of talking to just turned up the nose after finding out she was a 24 year old single mother with a five year old child.
“Thank you. I really appreciate it. Have a nice day as well.”
When they left the park in the afternoon she had nearly forgotten about Ran again. Instead she got to making dinner, while helping Kiro set the table.
Looking at him now, she knew that her decision had been made the moment Koko asked her. She would take him up on the offer.
Taking the burner, he had supplied her with she simply dialled the speed dial. It only rang about two times before he accepted the call.
“ What is it? I'm quite busy!”
Was he still annoyed with her? She had expected him to sulk a bit after their last conversation but she hadn't thought that he would still be angry. After all the last few times he hadn't been either. So why now?”
“Don't worry I'll make it short. I just wanted to tell you that I accept your request for the dinner meet. That is if you really do not leave me alone there.”
There was a short silence on the other end and then a light chuckle. “Awesome. That's great to hear. I'll tell the boss then. I'll pick you up at your place. Just write me the address.”
Hurrying before he could end the call, the declined, “No, Koko. Just tell me where I should come and I'll be there when you want me to.”
Koko sighed, “I'll still need your address. I will send you a dress. Can't let you come with the same thing you always wear for me.”
Gnawing at her lips she mulled it over. Somehow she had always known that the sense of privacy she had tried to put between her and Kokonoi would be teared down by the man in time. First it had been the higher pricing he had ensured to give her, then it was the agency he thankfully rid her off, then came his insistence on being the sole provider and now it was her address. She was getting more and more tired by the day. Everything would be so easy if she would just let him.
“Sure,” she answered hesitantly, “I'll send it to you. Anyways dinner's nearly done, I better get back to cooking. Have a nice evening, Koko.”
That Saturday she got ready in the bathroom being extra meticulous with her Make up and hair. Deciding to put it up into a well thought out more traditional style. It reminded her a bit of the style her own mother had always forced her into when they had went to important functions. The hair ornament she put in after much contemplation the only thing left that still reminded her of her previous heritage.
Just as she had put on the red dress, embellished with gold accents, surely to match Koko's dress robe, her bell rang.
She didn't have the kinds of friends that would just drop by on a whim. Especially not on a Saturday when they knew she would be working. So then who else?
Surely he wouldn't, right? She had explicitly told him to not pick her up?
Even before she could completely settle down and think it over once more, she could hear the door opening.
Kiro!
“What the?” She heard an erringly familiar voice as she quickly made her way through the hallway.
“Sorry Kid, I must have the wrong number.”
“What are you doing here, Koko?!” She asked the man sharply as she came to a halt in front of the door, pulling Kiro behind her once more, turning around to him.
“Can you go to your room and think about what you wanna take with you to Granny tonight? Maybe Chihiro?” Kiro had recently started to get crazy for Ghibli movies and had promptly named all his most precious cuddly toys after characters he liked.
Kiro nodded slightly insecure, throwing a few glances between his mother and the strange man, before running to his room.
“What are you doing here, Koko? I told you I'd come on my own?!” She asked him again, while pulling him inside the apartment and leading him inside her kitchen in order to not let anyone see him standing on her door step. What if her landlady saw him and thought she was in heavy debt and decided to finally use that reason to evict them.
“I still need to tell you about a few things tonight, so I thought it better to pick you up,” the man defended, leaning on the kitchen counter while throwing a confused glance to where the boy had ran to, “i didn't know you had a little brother.” He finally decided to breach the subject
Turning her back to him, she reached up to get two glasses out of her cupboards and filled them with water. One she put down next to Koko, the other stayed in her hand the cold grounding her just the slightest bit.
“Because he isn't. He's my son. Kiro.” She finally told him after deciding that there wasn't anyway she wouldn't be having that conversation with him.
Koko's eyes nearly immediately fell down to her right hand. Surely searching for a ring on her finger.
“Does your, sorry I don't see a ring, does your boyfriend know that you do what you do?” He actually had the nerve to sound angry. As if it was any of his business.
“As a matter of fact,” she told him, voice pitched higher, already wanting him to just leave her sanctuary and just leave her the fuck alone, “he doesn't. And even if he did he wouldn't care, because he is not in the picture any more. Now. If you're done judging me for my poor choices in life, maybe you can tell me what was so important for me to know that you decided to blatantly disregard my privacy and come here, even though I told you not to.”
Looking just the slightest bit sheepish he took a sip of his drink taking a look around his kitchen.
“Ya know, when I came here I was honestly a bit worried. This shithole might be in a better part of town but with the money I give you, you should have been able to afford better than this run down flat,” she wanted to interrupt him at that. Who did he think he was to come into her home and disrespect everything she worked for? One sharp look at her made her close her mouth acting as if she had just needed to take a bit breath, “I honestly thought you had some kind of addiction or maybe you were in trouble with a few shark loans but surely you would be intelligent enough to tell me and let me solve the problem for you,“ he went on, taking a few steps towards her, “It didn't even cross my mind that you might have a child that you're spending on and saving for. If you would have just told me, I could have helped you with that, ya know?”
Crossing her arms in front of her chest she glared around him. She hated when he looked at her like that. Like he was able to give her the world and more with no remorse for the repercussions and hurt he would cause other people and maybe even her.
She hated it so much.
The last time someone had looked at her in this way she had ended up a single Mother.
“Anyways, “she tried to deflect, “what did you want to talk about? Wasn't my only responsibility tonight to look pretty on your arm?”
Koko rolled his eyes pulling her shortly against him, “Sorry. I did mean to tell you that you look simply ravishing.” He gave her a little kiss on her head, while she tried wrestling free from his embrace. What was going on with him today? His moods changed so fast and it very nearly gave her whiplash.
“Your deflecting again. What did you want to talk about?” She asked into his chest after accepting that she wouldn't get out of that Constrictor grip he had on her.
Koko finally let go of her, and with his expensive cologne not blocking of the nerve ends to her brain she finally felt like she could think freely again.
“I wanted to-,” he stopped himself before starting a new sentence. It was the first time she had seen him do that, “Actually, no matter anymore. We've wasted enough time. Lets get, Kiro was it, to his Granny?”
Seizing him up and down she tried finding out what he was concocting in his head before nodding slowly. She was getting paid for this. So simple politeness it was.
“Wait here.” she told him, while going to get her son.
As she helped Kiro pack the last of his stuff for the night, she could hear Koko rummaging through her flat. It made a pit open in her stomach. There was a reason, why she had never accepted his requests for driving her home. She didn't want a customer to invade her privacy even more than she already let them. She didn't want to give them more of a fantasy than she already gave. She didn't want Koko to think of anything more than the employer, employee relationship they had.
A relationship that was slowly sizzling out and warping into something that she wouldn't have any control over.
“Who is this man, Mommy? Are you in love with him? Is he going to be my Dad?”
Kiro's words made her halt and old insecurities came back to light so suddenly she nearly fell over. His father wasn't in the picture any more. After getting her pregnant and being put in front of the choice of his families inheritance and his son, he had chosen. Kiro had never even seen a picture and since he had started elementary school, questions had come in. Questions she didn't know how to answer.
“No, Baby.” She told him carefully, sitting down and pulling him onto her lap. Koko could wait. Her son would always be her top priority. “That man in the kitchen is Hajime Kokonoi. He's a friend of mine.”
Kiro nodded slowly, before asking: “Then if he's a friend, why are you mad at him?”
She laughed a little bit at the question, stroking his hair. “You know, how you are angry with me sometimes, because I did something you didn't want me to do? Or how sometimes I get mad with you? With Koko it's the same thing. I can be angry with him and something he did and still be his friend. Okay?”
“Name?!” She could hear Koko call from the kitchen.
With a last cuddle she pulled Kiro into her arms and got up with his backpack in the other hand.
“Now then, lets get you over to old Granny, before Hajime tries kidnapping me, shall we?”
After having thanked the older woman and saying goodnight to her little ray of hope she finally followed Koko outside to his car where he was already waiting for her. The pleasant smile that had been settling in her face almost instantly replaced with a cold anger.
“You know,” she told him, after getting into his car and fastening the seat belt, “I do not appreciate my privacy being invaded in such a manner. Don't do it again.”
Koko rolled his eyes as he pulled out into the street. “Well, I don't like having to wait, yet here we are. Seems we'll just have to live with it.”
Grumbling she settled back into the seat not even throwing a glance down at her thighs as his hands settled back on them. Instead she just grabbed it and tried pushing it off her.
“You've got to be kidding me,” Koko grumbled, his hand not leaving her leg, “you never had a problem with it. What's up with you today? You do understand that I'm paying you, right ? And especially tonight, with my co-workers not knowing that you are a fucking escort you'll need to play a doting girlfriend. So settle a smile on your face and just be okay with my touch. Know your place.”
It nearly made her cry. Koko had never made her cry before. But how often had she pondered over exactly that. Doing the work she did may bring in good money, but it made her feel worthless. Oh how far had she fallen. The exiled daughter of a multi million enterprise.
Just as his hand left her, she made the decision.
Tonight she would play along. As perfectly as her mother did at those functions. She would be the proper eye candy she was supposed to be, doting on the man next to her in the way everyone expected her to. And after tonight, she would tell him that she was done. After tonight, she would cut all ties with him.
It would hurt as hell. He had become a friend after all. But the way he had started to behave just couldn't go on. He had started making her promises that tasted of the golden cage she knew all to well. One that she, unlike her mother, would never end up in.
So, as his hand settled on her thigh once more, she let it rest there.
It would hurt for some time, but it was better this way. There had been building something between them, she long since didn't know how to categorise.
Yes it was better this way.
“You know Koko,” she whispered, just loud enough so that she knew he could still hear her, without letting the tremor sound through her voice, “you've been a dear friend to me. I'm honestly thankful for all the help you've given me.” Instead of answering he simply gave her thigh a little squeeze.
As they pulled into the parking lot, she fixed a happy smile onto her face, checking her appearance in her hand mirror. It needed to reach her eyes.
Think of Kiro. She thought. The smile needed to be softer.
Think of his first steps. Think of last Christmas.
It worked.
As Koko opened the door on her side and pulled his hand out to help her out, she knew she wore the softest smile she had ever worn.
She could see with just a bit of satisfaction how the sudden change threw even him for a loop for a short second.
When Koko lead her into the well lid VIP lounge the first man to catch her interest was the man sitting at the head of the table. He was obviously the leader.
Mikey.
With his black clothes and sunken in appearance he made a stark difference to the other smart dressed men. But even then, he just exuded something she couldn't quite place her finger on. What she did know though, was that it made her tremble.
He had to have a mother out there, right? One that would surely cry if she were to see her son in such a state. She knew she would if Kiro would ever have such an empty look in his eyes.
Next to him must have been the second in command. He had a crazy look in his eyes and the way he seized her up, nearly made her run and hide behind the treasurer. Yes, that was Sanzu for sure. He looked just crazy enough to drive Koko into a fucking frenzy every time they interacted.
Before she could move on to the Guy Koko had once explained to be Kakucho, a movement in the corner of her eye caught her interest.
“Ran-san?!” She couldn't stop herself from calling out upon seeing his lanky figure in the chair. That's right, of course he'd be here tonight. How stupid of her to not remember. He might cause her a few problems in this charade then.
“You know him?” Koko asked her the tiniest bit flabbergasted a question lying on the tip of his tongue. Maybe she wouldn't have found it to sound as offensive if she wasn't still angry with him.
Shaking her head free, she quickly turned to Koko explaining: “We ran into each other at the Park.” her voice was just a tad bit sharper. Just because she was an escort didn't mean she slept with every man she knew.
With that she turned back around and into a deep bow. “I'm so happy to be able to finally meet you all. I've heard so much from my boyfriend. I'm (Last Name), (Name). Feel free to address me in a familiar manner though please. It's a pleasure.”
One after the other introduced themselves after that and for a short moment, she wondered why Koko had wanted her to be there today. Before she could get suspicious though, Ran had made space for her and 'her boyfriend'.
“What a surprise,” he started, a challenging shimmer in his eyes, “I didn't think I would see the spitfire again. Though if I remember correctly, didn't you say you didn't have a man? And now you're here with my dear friend Koko. Makes me worry for him just the tiniest bit. “
She had been right on the nose with this one. He was a difficult one.
A soft grin settled on her lips, as she put one of her hands on Koko's thighs. “I'm sorry Ran- san, but if my memory serves and it usually does, because it is quite good, you never let me finish my sentence. You just assumed. Maybe I just wanted to tell you a second time that I'm not interested, because of the wonderful boyfriend I already have.”
And that was how the evening went. On more than one occasion she had the feeling of being interrogated for something. Challenged in regards to something. The only question was what. What had been Koko's end game as he brought her there, to a dinner that had nothing to do with work.
“When did you two meet each other? And since when are you,” he stopped as if he had to think about a fitting word, “ together?” Rindou asked, a lilt in his voice she couldn't quite place once more.
“We met three years ago. At work actually. My employer introduced us and we just kinda hit it off. What can I say. Hajime is just a perfect gentleman.”
She didn't let her growing frustration show. Instead she listened to the stories they told, feeding Koko with food from time to time, massaging his hands and playing every part the of brainless Bimbo she knew Men like this preferred most of the time, while only taking kitten sips from the glass of red wine situated in front of her.
Another trick her mother had taught her by letting her watch how she handled business dinners with her husband.
Only ever drink so much that you aren't seen as impolite or prude but never too much so that your glass hopefully doesn't get a refill. This way you stay as the one vigilant person in the room, as the other members drink.
Knowledge is power.
“Tell me, (Name) what do you do for work?” Kakucho asked after that. Out of the corner of her eye she saw some of the men straighten just the tiniest bit. Did they really not know? Tonight there had been just a few too many innuendos.
Prepared for the answer she finished chewing before answering him, with a teasingly annoyed glance at Kokonoi: “well, this one would love me to not work at all, I can assure you. But if you need to know, I'm just an assistant. Nothing all that fancy you see. I just remember dates and organise them.”
As the evening dragged on she started becoming tired. After all it wasn't like being a mother was an absolute cakewalk.
At some point after having been asked a question twice, Koko squeezed her arm in an overly affectionate manner, before pulling her a bit into him and addressing the rest of the men in the room. “I think my Darling is starting to get tired, so we better get going. Come on, careful. I'll help you up.”
Still a bit drowsy she slowly got up and bowed towards all of them again.
“Don't you think we should invite them over for a dinner party at our place, Dear?” The question had been out before she had had time to think about it. It was simply another mannerism her mother had installed in her. “When you go out with important colleagues of your husband, you invite them over for dinner.”
And maybe Koko looked a bit too satisfied after the initial surprise. And maybe if she had been just a tad bit more awake, she would have noticed the light nod Mikey had given towards Koko's direction, then maybe she would have seen the nightmare that was brewing on the horizon coming just fast enough that it would have allowed her to grab Kiro and run.
Back inside the car both adults took a deep breath. “That was beautiful. Damn. I knew you were skilled. But this skilled? Shit. I owe you a fucking raise.”
Her eyes still closed,the younger woman only mumbled: “Take care Koko. You're nearly overthrowing me with money while I still distinctly remember Takeomi asking for a pay rise just as few hours ago.”
Koko laughed, as he fished for the certainly expensive blanket he had in his car and gave it over to her.
“Let's get you home first. We'll need to talk again tomorrow, but I really want you to know that I'm absolutely proud of you. You were absolutely beautiful today. That's my girl.”
Silence settled into the car as she slowly fell in and out of sleep. When Koko reached her place he quietly got out of the car, jogged around to the side the younger woman was still sleeping in and carefully first searched for the keys in her handbag, before lifting her out of the car with ease.
It wouldn't take much longer anymore, the treasurer told himself. He only needed to be patient for maybe another two weeks at most. The trap would close around her the moment the deal with the Chinese would go through. And without knowing it herself she had helped him significantly tonight. She would be able to play the perfect part during that dinner, maybe even sweeten up the deal just the tiniest bit. And the moment the dinner would find its end, he would give her something to drink that would just make her fall asleep before taking her home with him.
She'd finally be safe,
The only problem, the only unknown in this equation was Kiro. But he would find a way to make it work. And if it meant buying another house somewhere further away where they could all live together under his protection and control then that would be it. If he thought about it further, maybe that son of hers might even become a blessing.
Only time would tell.
When he reached the bedroom, he carefully put her on the bed.
“Come on now. You gotta wake up for at least five minutes.” He whispered, while also helping her out of her black pumps.
The fabric made him wrinkle his nose. Yes. It would be far better when she finally lived with him. She would never have to wear something so cheap ever again. God it was disgusting.
“Honestly, if I were a better man, maybe I'd understand why you save everything for your kid. But get yourself some damn shoes, woman.” He quietly sneered, as she slowly rowsed from her sleep.
“You still here, Koko?” her voice was a little rough and the man suddenly realised that it actually was the first time he saw her after waking up.
The man laughed lightly as he helped her sit up. “I do need to talk to you tomorrow morning, so I just figured I could stay over for the night. Maybe even help you a bit with Kiro?”
She must have been half asleep still, because she only nodded at him, around five seconds after and then proceeded to slowly get up and walk towards what he assumed to be that bathroom. He heard her rummaging around for a bit and then there was an abrupt silence that lasted a few minutes.
“You alright?” He asked as he walked to the bathroom door to knock.
Another few seconds and the door opened slowly. She was blushing slightly and fumbling with her hands.
“Could you- could you help me with the zipper?”
Kokonoi smiled, turning her around with careful fingers.
As he opened the zipper his hand wandered down with it tenderly caressing the slowly appearing skin. It really didn't matter how often her saw her naked. She was a picture for the gods every time.
Placing a singular kiss upon her neck he abruptly build distance between the two and left the bathroom, closing the door in the process.
He only needed to be patient for a few more days. Then she would be his and there was nothing she could do about it except accept it.
When she woke up the next morning the woman felt surprisingly warm. Her blanket felt softer than usual and the smell was somewhat familiar.
“You woke up earlier than expected.” A grumble could be heard above her and in surprise she wanted to quickly roll over only to be held back by the waist.
That was in fact not her blanket lying above her. That was a very tired sounding Koko.
“What are you still doing here?” She did remember him getting her home and helping her change. But why had he not driven home? And how was it possible for her to be so out of it yesterday night? She had never been this tired in her life before.
“We still need to talk about the Dinner party you offered.”
The what now?
The dinner party?
She offered?
Wait. Yeah. There was something.
Fuck. Autopilot had just taken over at that point and she had done what she had always done. Fuck!
“Koko. I did not know what I was fucking talking about. Can't we just say I was too tired to know what the fuck I was saying?”
Koko's lips drew into a teasing smile, before answering:” Don't worry. I know. I was just pulling your leg a bit. There is something I need to talk to you about though. In about one to two weeks Bonten will close a deal with a Chinese group. We want you there.”
We? So it really had been a test then?
She sighed, falling back into her bed. She didn't dare look at him, as she uttered her next words.
“I'm done, Kokonoi. I don't want to do this anymore. You've been a great friend, a great client but I can't do this anymore.”
Koko stilled next to her for a short second, his hands finding their place around her waist pulling her against him as he sat up.
“Why?” He sounded genuinely hurt.
“Because of exactly this,” she whispered in a tiny voice, gesturing to his hands around her, “I feel like you want more. Hell you even explicitly told me you want more now, for two years straight. And I simply can not do that. My priority is my son and he always will be. You need to let me go.
She could hear his tooth clashing together and felt his grip getting tighter.
“Just do this one last job for me. After that I'll leave you alone. I'll never ask for your service ever again. Just this one last thing.”
Struggling to turn around she finally looked at him. He looked so hurt. And she was the reason for his hurt.
“Will my son be safe?” She asked after some contemplation.
Koko sighed. “If everything goes to plan they will never know you have a son and will never see you again. Nothing more nothing less.”
“Fine.” She finally agreed. She could at least do this one last think for him.
He nodded, placing a soft kiss on her hair. “Thank you,” and then with a playful grin she knew was to underplay his emotions, “that way Mikey at least won't skin me alive.”
With that his arms disappeared around her and she laid back onto her back staring at the wall.
It really would be the last. After that she would cut all ties.
“We can't have that.” She teased back and in turn accepted that he didn't want to deal with his emotions right now.
“Thank you.” The man whispered, leaning over her and stealing a kiss he quickly deepened after realizing she reciprocated.
He build a small distance between them, before asking with a sad smile: “You think you can indulge me one last time?”
Once his plan would be set into motion she would probably hate him for some time. He'd have to take what he wanted now to tide him over.
Gulping she nodded pulling him down to her again.
As she tried rolling them over he put a determined hand on her stomach. Tonight, she'd be under his control.
Leaning down his mouth wandered from her lips to her cheeks, down her neck. She'd finally be his. With that thought, he started sucking on her neck in various places. Finally everyone would know, that she was a taken woman. There wouldn't be anyone else anymore.
One hand found it's place on one of her breasts, carefully stroking the little nub and drawing the most beautiful sound from her mouth.
“No- no marks, Koko.”
She felt him grin at her skin. “You're mine. Everyone should know it. I'll do whatever I want with you.” With that his mouth wandered down and unto her other breast.
He could feel her slowly rubbing her thighs together.
If only she knew what she did to him.
Finally coming out of her stupor the younger woman let her fingers wander over his chiselled chest. Going down, down down.
God, she would drive him crazy one day. He was already straining against his pants, aching to be outside of it's confines.
And then her hand was finally where he wanted it. Slowly stroking him for just the tiniest bit, before ridding him of his pants. God, her hands felt so good.
“You're doing great, Baby. Just breathe. Let me do this for you.” Her voice was sultry in his ears and nearly let him forget everything around him.
“Keep your eyes open, look at me baby.” She ordered, slowly pulling his face up by his chin.
She was blushing. God she was so fucking precious. They had had Sex so many times already and she was still blushing every damn time.
Her face did remind him of something though and with great difficulty he took the hand pleasuring him off him.
“What did I say?” He asked her a slight warning in his voice?”
With a pout she rolled her eyes. “That you wanna be in control?”
He grinned, in turn grabbing her chin and making him look at him. “Very good. And what are you doing right now?”
“Taking control?”
God, that pout did things to him.
“They are a conservative bunch then, I take it?” The woman asked, staring down at the expensive ring Koko was holding out to her with clear dislike.
It was the day of the dinner and since the morning her stomach was simply screaming at her to pack her bags and run. Something was terribly wrong, but she just couldn't figure out what it was exactly.
Koko rubbed the back of his head, before taking her hand with slight force.
“Yeah. A woman wouldn't be allowed at the table otherwise. You'll have to try and get his guard down a little. Be nice to the leader, treat the other executives with respect. You can joke around with them the tiniest bit but don't show them the smart head you have on those beautiful shoulders.”
She nodded along to his explanations, trying not to mess with the expensive cloth draped around her arms and shoulders.
“Let's get this shitshow on the road then.” She mumbled, mostly to herself.
“Hell yeah, that's the spirit.” Sanzu suddenly called behind her. Turning around she realised that the rest of the executives as well as Mikey had arrived.
He was dressed up as well tonight.
So this was the big occasion everyone was making it out to be. Straightening her back she settled a smile on her face.
It was just another mask.
Just another day.
When the six Chinese men arrived, the executives stood up, as she was following Koko's lead she observed the room.
Mikey stayed seated. Bonten probably had the upper hand in this deal then and they probably wanted to keep it this way. All three of the new men, however had a certain glean in their eyes. They would probably be playing a trump card tonight then. She would have to soften them up, before they played it.
“That went much smoother than I expected,” Ran joked as he sat down on the couch, the others promptly following leaving her standing in the corner.
Her mind was racing. She had expected a lot this night. But not Human trafficking. She really had gotten herself into deep shit today.
Mikey's glances in her direction were the ones that concerned her the most.
“You were good, honestly. I don't think they would have been this agreeable if they wouldn't have had such eye candy coming after their beck and call,” Rindou agreed with his older brother.
“Come on. You must be exhausted. Sit down.”
Gulping she slowly shook her head and then addressed Mikey with a sharp bow.
“I am exhausted, actually but I also have a son I need to get home to, so if you'd please just excuse me?”
It sounded much more like an insecure question than she would have liked it to.
The hand suddenly falling on her shoulders made her shake visibly.
“You know as well as we do, that we can't just let you go, after everything you heard tonight.”
Her lip was starting to quiver. What had she thought as she had agreed to this?
Exactly. She had thought about nothing but the nice stack of cash she would get.
“Koko, please,” she turned around to him, “you can't be serious. You know I'd never tell anyone about this.”
Koko smiled, pulling her into a strong embrace.
“I know. But I simply can't let you leave my life. And if keeping you and your son within my walls for the rest of yours means keeping you, then that's a price I'm willing to pay. You should have just agreed to my proposition. I would have let you keep your freedom for just a little while longer. Maybe at some point you even would have agreed to marry me out of your own free will. But you didn't. Instead you said you wanted to leave. It's not something I will ever accept. Your mine now and I won't even let you take a step without me allowing it ever again.”
Her intuition about wanting to break contact had been right.
She had been absolutely fucking right!
“My son?” She croaked out, only now realising. He was supposed to have a happy life. Go to a good school. Meet his peers. Make friends, get a nice girlfriend of boyfriend or whatever. He wasn't supposed to be holed up here.
What had she done?
“Already on his way,” Koko whispered into her ear, stroking her back, “we'll be one happy family.”
As he let go she nearly sank to the ground her legs threatening to give up on her. Only the realisation that she needed to be strong for her son, for herself and because of the other men still watching everything she was able to get back up.
Her mother had always told her that her pride would be her downfall one day. Well, Kokonoi Hajime did not know what would hit him.
Turning around she looked at the white haired man. “What do you plan to do with my Kiro?!”
He shrugged, grabbing his champagne of the table where he had first placed it.
“We'll see. If your agreeable, then he won't think anything different. I'll just be his father. You'll be my wife he'll go to the schools you always wished he would go to and everyone will end up happy. You just have to do what I tell you.”
Everyone would be happy, huh?
Turning around she zeroed in on the open bottle of wine, Ran had opened to celebrate the done deal. With her head held up high, she strode towards it, looking everyone dead in the eye at least once.
After having grabbed the bottle, she turned to Koko, taking a huge sip.
“You're sleeping on the couch tonight!”
He wanted her to be his happy wifey?
Then fine. She would fucking do that. If him being happy meant her son being safe, if him getting what he wanted meant her son getting the life he deserved, then heaven be damned. If him wanting to play fucking family, then she would take on this role. What was another mask after all?
She was back in the golden cage. Only this time it felt like she had given the keys out of her hand herself.