Discover Top Posts Tagged with #especially love.

Jonathan sims is like. I don't think I've ever loved anyone in my life. I've loved everyone I've ever met and it eats me alive. None of this is my fault how DARE you be even a little mad at me. All of this is my fault how are you even looking me in the eye. Nobody cares about me and I don't blame them. I will drop everyone to save the people that hurt me, even at the cost of my own life. I will never forgive them. I've never truly connected with anyone in my life. These people who I barely even know made such a deep impact on me I will kill a woman with her face to avenge her and steal his autonomy to save him. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I want to hurt people so badly. This is a woman I care about deeply, and I never forgave her, and never plan to. I will advocate for her friend to kill her, and I will grieve her once she's gone. I can't stop being open. I've never been open about my emotions in my entire life. I never want to be around anyone. I'm so tired of being alone. I don't think I've ever loved anyone. How do you know if you love someone? Is it just caring about someone? What defines love? Am I doing it wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Elias, am I still human? Was I ever human? I deserve how people treat me. I hate them for it. I shouldn't hate them for it, I can't even blame them. But I do. I do. I want to destroy everything. I just want things to be okay. I want to be loved and accepted and I will never believe anyone who tells me they do. I wish I was dead. I never want to die. I deserve to die. I'm supposed to be dead. I don't want to die. But I do . But I don't. Have I ever cared about anyone but myself? Would I even know? If I died, would anything bad happen? Or would it just be sad? If I died, how many people would be relieved? If I died, and nobody missed me, could I forgive them for that? Have I ever forgave anyone? Have I ever gotten over anything? Have I ever stopped being angry? Did I ever move on? Will I ever move on? What am I even moving on from? Did any of it even matter? I don't think I've ever loved someone. I think I was supposed to die. I think everyone would be better off for it. I don't want to die.

#the magnus archives #tma spoilers #jonathan sims #im having a normal one guys #pushing the jon is aro and autistic and has a hard time telling what his emotions are #especially love.

thaumbody replied to your post “An angel of destruction, telling the apostate to have faith in love....”

Quick question: What is meant by love? It's not exactly the most specific word in English. For example, you can love pizza, a video game, and your child.

The kind of love I can’t comprehend, of course. The one where I intentionally start shit so you’ll yell at me because I’m more comfortable with you being mad at me than try to understand why anyone would feel that way towards me. The one where I storm off in fury and hellish anger because I remember the abuse patterns that made me suspicious of any declaration of love in the first place, but I know this one is the real thing, and I can’t accept that anyone or anything would love me that way without some sort of personal payoff that is going to result in a knife in my back. Of course.

#I have come to accept that everyone I love will betray me in the end.#And I'm just enjoying the charade while it lasts.#But everything dies in time. Including love.#Especially love.