Nov 8, 2019
I haven’t hated myself this much in such a long time. I know I don’t matter. I’m all alone in this world
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Ireland
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Türkiye
seen from Romania
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
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seen from Russia
seen from Canada
I haven’t hated myself this much in such a long time. I know I don’t matter. I’m all alone in this world
I’m not scary. I’m just a little introvert that sometimes has courage. Ask me things. Talk to me. I’ll answer anything
Sometimes I miss being anorexic
I’m a broken girl but for the most part I have it handled. I can go about life and handle it like there is nothing right. I’m strong I can do whatever I want. But when it comes to man in my life that’s where the line is drawn. I do as I’m told even when it goes against everything I believe in. I mean everything. All I’ve been is hurt and that’s when I can’t stand on my own two feet. I fall apart. I’m controlled by the people that use me and don’t really care about me. I just want someone to care and not put me in a position that hurts me. I just want to be hugged. That’s it. The innocence is what I thrive on. I want to be a kid again before this all started.
I love the word “tide pods”
He says things but never actually follows through. Gets mad when I say anything with mean. Why do I put up with this crap
If you truly loved me than why did I do everything in our relationship. I was the one that had to push to hang out even tho you said that you love to be with me. I am the one that always text you first and you only cared about yourself. You compared me to one of the few people that make my life hell. You push me around and then try to fix it by comforting me. You know that I can’t say that word no if it means that someone will be happy. Tell me how this makes any fucking sense. That is why I can say that you lied. You don’t love me at all. You love the things I am willing to do for you.
"My Best Friend"
I realize something about the people that I though were my best friends. One has completely iced me out of her life after everything we have been through. It hurts to see that after all of that you can just let it all go. I know she is mad at me for repeated doing something that I am not proud of. I have stopped that and found a new why to deal with my problems. I made a lot of hard changes because I need her. She is the best thing that has happened to me and that will always be true. The other one has made things hard for me. He know all the things that I deal with and still pushes my buttons. He is my trigger. I hate to say it but the guy I hold dears is the reason for my break downs and such. All he does is hurt me but I care about him. Is that really enough to hold on to this friendship. Unless he changes then no because I have changed way too much for him already. I think it is time start thinking of letting go. It is one of the hardest things for me but I have to do it.