one word starters / accepting.
you always thought the stars were beautiful. it was one of your first real memories outside of the lab: looking up at the stars and thinking: they are beautiful.
you didn’t really have a concept of beauty. it was just the first word that came to mind, in that one moment. later, you were shown things that humans would describe as beautiful in the ego development section of the lab: pictures of waterfalls, flowers, statues, women in long dresses. they were all very pleasant on the eyes, you supposed. you liked looking at them. the colours were bright, and the shapes interesting. but none of them had inspired the same kind of... awe, you supposed, as the stars.
you liked the feeling of being small, of being able to look upwards and know that you hardly mattered at all. this became more and more of a feeling as time went on, as they told you that you were the last one, that your sisters had been failures, and you would be too, if you didn’t summon your persona, soon.
the ego development got more violent. they didn’t show you beautiful things anymore. just... sad things. ugly things. violent things. they watched you with beady eyes, like they wanted something. you didn’t know what it was, so you gave no reaction.
you heard them one day, talking in hushed tones: it isn’t responding. maybe labrys was just a fluke? but man, it’s the last one we can make! if it doesn’t summon a persona soon, we’ll have to end the project.
you knew what they meant. you had thought you had known, anyway. death was foreign, but you’d known the concept of not being. you didn’t want to. not be, that is.
and they’d end the project if you failed - all those sisters who’d never come after you if you failed. you had a lot riding on your shoulders.
( years later, you’ll consider if you were supposed to hear that conversation because - )
palladium burst round you in a wild spinning light, pale, and bright, like the stars. and then they gave you a name.
with a name, and not just a number, the world began to make sense, and they began to be kind to you again. it was nice, to be needed, in that small way. it lasted all of two weeks, though, before it all fell apart.
( bridge, dark, heavy wings beating, a child’s grieving empty eyes, your empty heart, and then - silence. )
the stars look the same as they did ten years ago. so much has changed, but the stars remain bright and distant and cold. and beautiful.
now you have a true concept of beauty, and you can truly appreciate how the stars are just that.
all of S.E.E.S are gathered outside in the air, breath misting in great clouds. it’s good to take a night off tartarus, you think. it’s good to get a rest. yukari and junpei and akihiko-senpai stand with minako and minato, ken trying not to yawn behind them, as koromaru barks at their feet. mitsuru-san will be here soon, fuuka’s taking the night off to nap. it feels... nice. to be part of this.
you’re standing off to the side, watching them from the side, and minako’s face does something like scrunch up as she laughs, and something... happens. steam flies out of your headphones, and your heart clenches.
it’s... weird. you wanted to be near her, because it was your mission. you’re not sure what your mission is anymore, but you want to be by her side. it’s not an order, and there’s no logical sense to it, but... it’s still a desire.
you’ve been drawn to beauty all your life, you think. your first look at the stars. the brightness of the sea. the streetlights in the dark hour. minako.
things start to make sense, a little. you’re at least a little self aware, after all, as well as aware of human pop culture. you’ve watched enough of those cheesy romcoms on the dorm tv to understand what’s going on here. it seems so illogical that it could happen to you, that you had the capacity to feel this. but... well, minako is beautiful, and you were made to appreciate beauty. it’s stupid, and you don’t deserve it, but being near her makes you wonderfully, painfully happy.
she laughs again, breath steaming round her face, eyes squeezed shut in joy, and you think, in an isolated moment, that she’s as beautiful as all the stars in the sky at once. no wonder, since you desire beauty so very much, you want to be by her side.
