pairing :: lee heeseung x reader
warnings :: cheating jokes, food mentions, slight sexual innuendo, petnames, fluff, crack(?), established relationship
a/n :: i think i wanna do all the members (๑ᵔ ᴗ ᵔ๑)
Written for : @sorenmarie87 ‘s ‘Christmas with..’ writing challenge.
Prompts : My prompts were the aesthetic above (thank you dawn for letting me use this Evan Peters one, instead of the other, I love you!) and “ If you throw that snowball, you’re declaring war.”
He was your best friend. Through the good, and the bad, and all of It in between, he was your best friend. But that made things difficult. It made relationships difficult.
You would date, and it would be going good, very good, and then they'd meet him. He was an actor, he had money, and they had insecurities. The sheer amount of times you found yourself saying “He’s just a friend.” to ease someone’s worries was astronomical. As was the amount of times someone said “Me, or him.” and expected you to chose them. Evan would see the look when they met him, and see the look on your face after, and he’d step back. He always stepped back, but it always ended the same. “He’s my best friend..”
That's how you ended up where you were right now, secluded in a cabin with him. When he had a hard time with his on and off girlfriend, or when he needed to get out of his head after a rough role, he’d disappear for a bit to this cabin, and come back the same fun loving guy he’d always been. He’d been about to leave the city behind once more, when you’d called in tears. Four small words from you and he was on his way. “I need a friend.”
You were the first to visit his slice of heaven and immediately understood why he came, and why he kept it to himself. It was beautiful and quiet. A nearby frozen lake looked perfect for swimming on warmer days. You stood looking out over it, admiring the beauty of it all when he came up behind you. “Did you pack your skates like I told you to?” You looked back at him and nodded. “Let’s go get them. The lake is perfect for skating on today.”
“Yeah.” you smiled. “Skating would be nice.”
You both began walking back towards the cabin, your bulldog Meatloaf, who was normally more on the lazy side, bound off ahead of you. You smiled as he moved around in the snow with the an energy you hadn’t seen in him before. The smile faded and you found yourself lost in thought, so much so that you hadn’t noticed Evan fall back, not until something hit you in the ass.
Turning, you found him strolling along, hands in his pockets and seemingly lost in his own thoughts. With a frown, you started forward again, and not a moment later, once more you were hit, only this time in your shoulder. Turning and glaring at him, he was once more staring down as he walked behind you with his hands in his pockets. Rolling your eyes, you turned back forward, took two steps, and then whipped around again, and caught him with a snowball in his hands and a sheepish grin on his face.
“If you throw that snowball, you’re declaring war.” His smile only grew and you jumped with a gasp as he hit you in the chest. “Oh, that’s it!”
“Bring it on!”
You both scrambled around, collecting snow, and throwing it as fast as you could. Meatloaf ran back and bound around the two of you, barking and yipping, jumping at you both and catching snowballs in his mouth. Everything was forgotten in the laughter that he brought out of you.
You tried to dart past him to get to more snow, but Evan caught you around the waist, and tried to manoeuvre enough to grab snow to dump on your head. Meatloaf, in what you could only guess was an attempt to help you, jumped at Evan and sent you all falling into the snow. You landed on your back with a grunt, Evan falling over you but quickly rolling to his side and taking you with him.
The two of you laid there in the snow laughing while Meatloaf stumbled over you and crashed into Evan, just to get between you both and lick your faces.
Skating was forgotten for now, since you were both wet and cold by the time you got into the cabin. Once Meatloaf was dried off, he hurried to Evan's bed, stretching his body out across the comforter. Smiling as you watched him get comfortable, you decided he had the right idea.
Once you were changed into dried clothes, you joined Meatloaf on the bed, scratching behind his ears and watching Evan move around in dark grey sweats and a brown flannel as he got the fire going. “Still can't believe you named him Meatloaf.” he shook his head.
“You named him Meatloaf. Remember?”
“I said he looked like a meatloaf.”
“And thus, he was named.” you smiled down at the dog.
Once he was satisfied with the fire, he got up off the floor and joined you in the bed. “You wanna talk about?”
“About how you named the dog you got me? It suits him, so-” you shrugged but he spoke before you could continue.
“No. About you calling me in tears.”
“There's nothing to talk about.” You focused your attention on Meatloaf who got up from his spot, just to squish himself between you and Evan and put his head on your lap.
“How about what happened.”
You shook your head, still not looking at him. “You know what happened. It's what always happens.”
“He demand you chose?”
You nodded. “It doesn't matter that we've been friends for years, it doesn't matter that he met your girlfriend.. It's still always one or the other. Is it really so bad to have a best friend that's a guy?”
“Maybe you should stop introducing them to me.” he joked with a nudge of his elbow.
“Maybe I should accept that it's just me and Meatloaf..” Your fingers ran through his short fur.
“And me.”
You gave a soft chuckle. “Why am I so addicted to you?”
“He is pretty cuddly..” he scratched at the dogs side, prompting him to roll and get his belly rubbed.
“Not Meatloaf, you!” Evan’s eyes shifted from Meatloaf and focused on you, giving you a confused look. “I give it all up, throw it all away for you, every time. I can't live without you. Sometimes I feel like I can breathe without you…” you looked down, regretting it almost instantly because this was one realization that you couldn't take back and could change everything. “Maybe they weren't wrong. Maybe they kept seeing what I couldn't admit.. Maybe that's why it's always you I run to..”
“You come to me because you know I'll be there.”
“When I'm left feeling like shit your all I want to see. I knew you leaving, I knew you were coming here, and I still called.”
“Why?”
You shrugged. “I was selfish. I wanted you to delay your trip. I wanted you to put your arms around me, kiss my forehead and promise everything would be okay. Like you always do. I just wanted to feel loved-”
You were cut off by Evan pulling you into a kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut and you breathed him in and let him kiss you as long or deep as he chose to. But when it broke, the guilt hit you. You pulled away from him and shook your head. “What?”
“We can't.”
“Why?” he let his forehead rest on yours and closed his eyes.
“Because you're with-”
“No.” he shook his head against yours. “It's over. Maybe for good, this time.”
“What? Why? What happened?”
“Same thing that always happens.” he shrugged.
“Which you never tell me.” You reminded him, eyes focus on his lids, waiting for him to look at you again.
“She hates it..” his eyes opened and locked on yours. Those beautiful dark, brown eyes. “The way I look at you. They way I've always looked at you. Just like they hate how you look at me.”
“You-”
“Yeah.” he smiled.
“Then why do you keep going back to her?”
“Why do you keep finding a new one of them?”
“Because you keep going back to her.”.
“Not this time. Finally got the timing right.” he pressed his lips to yours once more, only for it to be interrupted by a cold wet snout wiggling it way between you both and making Evan laugh. “Come on, Meatloaf. You always get her, let me have my shot.”
You laughed as Evan gave Meatloaf a playful shove, making the dog roll onto his back, tongue lolling out of his mouth as Evan rolled him back and forth
*If you like this, please consider supporting my work, or requesting a commission.*
This is different to what i’ve done before (and its unedited) so who knows if its any good??
Warnings: mentions of panic attacks
~ ~ ~
“How are you feeling, Ev?” you practically whisper, returning to your space on the couch as you hand Evan a glass of water. Your boyfriend looks up at you, his face still stained with tears and his cheeks blotchy. His breath continues to hitch slightly in his chest as he tugs at the bottom of his t-shirt.
“Better” he whispers. Half an hour ago, he’d called you but the panic attack wouldn't allow him to get any words out. You’d put him on speakerphone in your car, trying to help him control his breathing as you rushed over to the Hansen household.
“You sure? Tell me the truth Ev. Please” you plead, taking the hand not clutching the glass of water in yours. The attack had finally finished and he was exhausted.
“I’m ok - I’ll be ok ... soon”. You can't help wondering if he was referring to the panic attack or just ... himself.
“Good” you smile, trying to put on a positive face for him but seeing him like this made you want to wrap him in a thousand blankets and never let him go. You wished every day, every single day, that you could take away his anxiety (and especially his panic attacks) but you couldn’t, so you would try and do whatever else you could for him.
“You don’t have to stay - I know I must be -” he has to take a breath due to the pain in his lungs from the panic attack, “I must be a burden to you, and you can just go, I won’t mind, I’m used to -”
“Ev, please, you know thats not true” you whisper, getting choked up at his words, at the utter dislike he felt for himself. “I want to take care of you” you say. “Will you let me? Please?” you whisper, rubbing circles on his hand with your thumb.
He nods in response and his eyes start filling with tears again. He begins to apologise but you shush him and wrap your arms around him. He moves closer and holds you tight.
You stay like that for a few moments, his tears falling into your shirt as you offer sooting words and your company.
“Do you want to cuddle?” you suggest. After a panic attack you knew it was best to allow Evan to call the shots but you couldn’t help it seeing him in such a state.
“Please” he breathes, barely loud enough for you to hear. Slowly you lay down together, a tangle of limbs. Theres nothing but love and support between you as you hold your boyfriend in your arms. Yet, just as you think the bad feelings have passed, Evan says something that breaks your heart, and makes hold him even closer.
“It’s lonely here without you” he whispers.
Sometimes you forget that he spends so much of his time in this big house all alone with his thoughts and his anxiety and his self doubt. And sadness fills your heart.
