So, I may have finished up some Obidala PWP during a long slog of Zoom meetings I didn't need to be on.
You can check out "Service with a Smile" over on ao3. It's an au set during the beginning of AOTC, right after the attempted assassination by Zam Wesell.
Featuring: Spice. SO MUCH SPICE. Everyone having a good time and finally getting some restful sleep. Also, you know, maybe it's a fix-it. I like to think it's a fix-it.
Lance sauntered slowly over to him, shit-eating grin plastered all over his face, wearing the largest – largest – shirt Hunk had ever seen in his life. Seriously. Ever. He knew some pretty big people, too, from one of his mother's sides of the family (he didn't get his large size and big bones from nowhere, after all). And this shirt? Bigger than all of the largest people he'd ever seen combined. It was huge, multi-colored to the point of being a psychodelic catastrophy, with simply the biggest neck hole he'd never thought he'd ever see, and a part of him wondered how Lance was even wearing it, as bunched together and hanging off of him as the piece of fabric was.
“This is the greatest thing that Voltron needs, Hunk,” Lance said, a trill of excitement hiding in the barely stifled giggles of his voice as he got closer.
Hunk sighed, lips tugging up unwillingly. “Oh really, that's...that's nice, I guess, though I don't see how – Lance, what are you doing.”
He backed up a step when Lance grabbed the hem of the stupid-large shirt and pulled it up and out towards him, still stepping closer and for some reason opening his mouth wide.
“Lance – stop, what are you doing – you never explain your schemes to me and really – Lance!” Hunk yelped, flailing his arms wildly when Lance leapt at him, tossing the hem of the monstrocity over his head and yanking it firmly around him. They struggled for a moment, Lance laughing near breathlessly as Hunk yelled and squirmed, but eventually Lance's enthusiam won over Hunk's bewilderment and Hunk's head popped out of the neck hole, eyes wide and hair a freaking mess.
Lance grinned in triumph, and when Hunk just stared at him, the lanky teen closed his mouth with a cheery “chomp!”
Hunk blinked, before huffing out a laugh. “Seriously?”
“You've been eaten, Hunk,” Lance explained, and started walking, the shirt tugging Hunk along. “And now we're one being.”
“Okay,” Hunk tried to get out around his laughter, “but why - “
“And now we have to eat the rest of the team, and then we can be Voltron!”
“Oh no, no - “
“Oh, yeah!”
Hunk was tugged after Lance by the shirt, and through his yelps of denial he couldn't help but snicker as the other teen darted around the racks of Alien Wear around them. “What are you even doing, Lance, you absolute psychopath?”
Lance's shoulders were shaking – Hunk guessed from trying so hard to hold back his giggles – and pointed ahead. “Okay, well, we've gotta get more of the team eaten, and I'm pretty sure I saw – aha!” Lance cried, ducking into a rack of hangers and oddly shaped...dresses, maybe, Hunk wasn't sure. Hunk toddled in after him, if only to stop the other from tugging on the shirt and forcing him to stumble awkwardly. Lance's eyes danced with mischief as he parted a couple hangers and peered out.
“I just saw Keith,” Lance whispered.
Hunk couldn't help the amused groan, grin splitting his face, and poked his head out of the top of the rack. Sure enough, a few feet away was Keith, clearly absorbed in his browsing as he contemplated a pair of jackets (looking eerily similar to the one he was already wearing). “Oh, Lance, why - “
Lance ignored him and simply – seriously – intoned, “Target: acquired.”
Hunk slapped a hand to his forehead, but couldn't help the snickers that left his mouth and ducked back down.
Poor, poor Keith.
They struck quickly, Keith being caught completely off-guard as he started off towards what Hunk assumed might be the dressing rooms, Lance and Hunk dive-bombing him with war cries, holding the hem of the shirt wide and yanking it firmly over him.
Keith didn't even have time to scream.
Lance was hooting with laughter as they started running, Hunk keeping a firm hold of Keith as they dashed in order to keep the bewildered and possibly frightened half-Galra from trying to bolt. “What's – what are you – “ Keith stuttered, blinking rapidly as they zig-zagged through the Alien Wear section and into the electronics of the department store. “Guy's, what are you – “
“We're being eaten, Keith,” Hunk explained poorly, and giggled at the look of horror on Keith's face. “Try not to take it too seriously, and we'll be fine.”
“But...what?”
“We're doing this for Voltron!” Lance yelled, head swinging side to side as he led them around, looking for the rest of the team. At least, that was Hunk's guess. “It's the best type of bonding – so we all gotta get eaten by this amazing shirt!”
Keith blinked and looked down at the thing that was wrapped around the three of them, as if only just realizing it was there. “Why – where did you find this ugly thing?” he yelped. “And why is it so big?”
Hunk rest a hand on his shoulder, offering him a solemn nod. It probably didn't come off as quite sincere with the grin still on his face. Oh well. “Just accept it, Keith,” he said. “Love the shirt. Be one with the shirt.”
“Hey, losers. Can I be one with the shirt, too?”
Lance gave a cry of happiness, and Hunk stumbled into Keith when the Blue Paladin yanked them down an isle. “Pidge! My dearest, shortest friend!” he yelled, holding the hem aloft once again as he approached the sniggering Paladin leaning against a counter. “Be eaten by the shirt and be one with us!”
Pidge didn't bother holding back their laughter as Lance smoothly covered them and literally welcomed them into the fold. “This is completely ridiculous,” they said, snuggling into Keith's side. “Cozy, too.”
Lance gave them a fond ruffle of their hair as he giggled, sounding vaguely breathless, and started them off again. Hunk rolled his eyes but carefully guided Keith, who was still...not quite getting it. “Hey, Pidge. I take it you were watching some of this?”
Pidge bit their lip and tried not to trip as Lance swung them around a corner. “Some of this? No, no, Hunk – I've been watching all of this,” they said, face bright with amusement. “I happened to hear Lance wondering very loudly what the hell this,” they waved a hand at the shirt they all wore, “was. And when I looked over at him, alll the way across the store, he was struggling with this brightly colored LSD trip and. Honestly? Once he managed to get it on, I had to see where he was going with it.”
“So did you see him make the shirt eat me?” Hunk asked.
“Yep. Keith too,” Pidge chirped, and turned a smirk onto the Red Paladin. “I've never seen you get taken so off guard, Keith.”
Keith, still not really understanding what was going on but clearly relaxing with more of his teammates around him being...okay with things, rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Lance is always taking me off guard,” he said, shrugging and allowing his mouth to curve upwards in a fond smile. “You'd think I'd be used to it by now.”
“Keith, I have known Lance for years. And I'm still not used to it,” Hunk said, guiding the two shorter teammates as Lance swung them around another corner. “I may seem like I'm used to it, but I'm'really, really not.”
“So what are we even doing, anyway? Shirt-eating people? And how is this supposed to be for Voltron?” Keith asked, finally swinging with the wild turns and moving of his own accord.
Pidge shrugged. “Who cares? We're all laughing, that's really all that matters - “
“I found Shiro!” Lance nearly shrieked, and the three of them swiveled their heads to stare at where he was looking.
Sure enough, there he was, standing there with a couple of hats in his hands and staring back at them in what appeared to be concern. Hunk waved, and as if that were a cue Lance darted them over to their leader, flailing one arm out of the neck hole of their shirt wildly. “Shiro! Shiro, join us, be one with us – be eaten by the shirt with us – “
Pidge cackled loudly and Shiro looked like he wanted to step back in terror. Bravely, he didn't, but Hunk could tell that he really, really wanted to. “I...I feel like I don't say this enough,” the Black Paladin started, eyes wide, “but what the quiznack is going on.”
“Voltron!” Lance shouted, holding out the hem with one hand and grinning broadly. Shiro stared at him helplessly, and Pidge, the unhelpful gremlin, only cackled some more.
“Uh, something like team bonding, I guess,” Hunk tried to explain, giving him an unrepentant smile.
Keith pouted at him. “Oh, so you bother explaining things to him, but not to me?”
“It's kinda funny when you're confused,” Pidge said around their laughter. Hunk shrugged. They weren't wrong.
Keith rolled his eyes, but smiled anyways. “Hey, Shiro. Just...turn around. Save yourself.”
“But...but Voltron!” Lance said again, eyes pleading. Shiro glanced at him, and something in the man's expression wavered, just a bit. Hunk snickered.
Lance's puppy dog eyes were really, really hard to say no to.
“Can we...maybe be more mature than this?” their leader said, but Hunk could see the way he leaned forward. He grinned, and nudged Pidge, who nodded.
“Hey,” they said, helping Lance to raise the hem of the shirt. “Shiro. There's room for one more.”
“Pidge, no – “
“Pidge, yes – “
Hunk laughed, holding the hem out as well. “Come on, Shiro, you know you want to,” he wheedled, and Shiro resolve crack a little bit further. The man shuffled closer, lips pressed together and eyes crinkling in the corners just a bit.
“Well...”
A sigh came from Keith, and his hand joined them hem-holding party. “It's completely stupid, but we're having fun. Apparently,” Keith said. “No reason you can't either.”
Shiro's fingers twitched.
Lance smiled, wide and hopeful, and held the hem higher. “Voltron?” he asked, one more time.
“...Let's form Voltron.”
-
“These Paladins sound like such brilliant beings,” the Marvian said approvingly. Allura beamed.
“Of course – only the best of the best can pilot the lions of Voltron,” she agreed.
“Not only pilot the lions, but actually form Voltron,” Coran added helpfully, puffing up with pride. “It takes a truly tremendous bond to not only pilot the lions, but to become one with the other Paladins in order to pilot the Legendary Voltron. I've never seen anything like it – and I was there during the days of the original Paladins!”
The Marvian blinked in astonishment at Coran, and the tiny toddler handing onto it's mother's skirts stared up at him in awe. “Wooow,” he said, his three eyes wide. “That must make you, like, a gajillion billion pheebs old.”
Coran nodded seriously in agreement. “Oh even older. A Gajillion, billion, quartro-zillion pheebs,” he said. “I'm even older than Voltron.”
Allura held back her sigh, doing her best not to roll her eyes, but smiled. “He was there at Voltron's conception, yes,” she agreed. “So when he says that the Paladins who now pilot the legend are great, he's telling the truth.”
The Marvian woman hummed in amazement, and the kid looked simply star-struck. Honestly, it was adorable at how in awe the child was. Allura usually spent most of her missions talking with the nobility, leaders, or elders, and their awe tended more toward suspicion than anything else. Seeing someone not be in doubt of their endeavors was refreshing.
“Perhaps you would like to meet them?” Allura offered, bending down to the child. “They've taken a walk around the department. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to take a moment to speak with a fan.”
The child wiggled in delight, spindly limbs turning a bright pink in happiness as he hid his face in his mother's skirts again. His mother chuckled, running a clawed hand through the tendrils on her son's head. “Oh, he's shy, but he'd love to.”
Allura beamed again, straightening. “Excellent! If you could give me just a moment, I can contact them on their communicators and – “
“Ah...I'm...sure that won't be necessary, Princess,” Coran said with amusement.
Allura blinked, eyebrows tugging towards each other in confusion, and turned toward the man. “What do you...?” her question trailed off as she saw he was looking off to the side at something, and followed his gaze.
Her jaw dropped.
Dashing in their direction at top speed were five familiar faces all bundled up above a truly hideous piece of fabric, bright and swirling with so many colors Allura wasn't sure if it was based off a rainbow or simply a drugged person's attempt at art. It swarmed the five of them, some of their shoulders poking out of the top and what looked to be Pidge's and Keith's arms sticking out of two holes on the sides.
Shiro looked to be leading the charge, face split in the widest grin she had ever seen.
“Power to the main thrusters!” he yelled, sounding slightly hysterical.
She could hear Hunk making a noise of what sounded like one of the engines on the ship whirling into gear, loud and winding, and aftera few seconds Lance shouted, “All systems are go, boss!”
Shiro gave something like a war cry – not unlike the Kinyala race they came across not a three quintents ago – and shouted, “Prepare to go into MAXIMUM OVERDRIIIVE!”
And suddenly all five of them were screaming, running faster, and barreling right past them.
As their...form continued towards the other end of the store, she could still hear them screaming and laughing, even Keith, who so rarely allowed himself to relax enough around them to smile.
The four of them stood there for a moment, watching them fade into the aisles and towers of merchandise. Coran seemed to be holding back a chuckle, the child looked like he wanted to chase after the wildly screaming group, and the mother just...stared.
“Was...was that them?” she asked faintly, blinking her three eyes many times as if that would help her understand what she'd just seen.
And despite the fact that the Paladins were behaving completely unlike their mission-ready selves – fearless, bold, determined, focused, and brave – she couldn't stop the proud smile from spreading over her features.
“That would be them, yes,” she said, unable to hold back the fondness from her tone. “Our universe's Legendary Defenders.”
Next time everyone goes to play space rugby Ren and Rey have come up with a proposal. The two of them, using The Force, versus everyone else. Force Choking is against the rules.
There’s actually a very long and complicated list of rules involving using the Force, because while a certain amount of roughness is expected with Rugby, they don’t want anyone to get seriously hurt.
Finn is very helpful, he makes an organized flowchart and organizes notes. Eventually it just becomes a game of people getting launched by the Force. Poe suggests getting big air mattresses (the kind they use in pole vaulting) and that just becomes the new game.
