#everything is complicated

[misscrawfords]

And now I am absolutely sobbing because my mum went to a Jewish wedding and had an amazing time but was reflecting that she missed my father (obviously) but that he was totally cut off from the Jewish community, partly because he was a loner and an atheist and partly because his parents put assimilation into British culture above everything and never engaged with the Jewish community themselves and now I'm thinking about how I never knew my father's family was Jewish till after my grandparents died and I have never been part of the community and my grandma never passed down her traditions to me, her only granddaughter, and I've grown up with two heritages but I've only been part of one. There's a deep, deep void of something within me and every now and then it rears up and utterly overwhelms me. Like when I put a prayer in the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem and it felt as profound for me as for anyone else on Birthright but even after that I didn't know what to go with it. And then the amazing amazing welcome I got when I spent Shabbat with an Orthodox friend in Boston. And then the way I stood in the old Synagogue in Krakow and sobbed and went to Auschwitz and saw the names on the suitcases and thought that it could have been mine, if my grandparents hadn't got out in time and how I listen to Klezmer music and I play czardas on my violin and I feel this well of connection in my very blood. And maybe if it were through my mother's family that I had been cut off from half my heritage I could walk into a Synagogue and say "I'm Jewish" and explore what that meant, but it's my father's family and so it's so much more complicated and I don't know what to do and I don't want to abandon the Anglicanism and the traditions and rituals I've been brought up with either because that is my heritage too. They're both 50%, you know? I just wish I understood what to do to be a full person? And I miss my father but I also miss all my family that I don't know and am cut off from. My great-aunts went to Israel after the War and both had families. I have all these cousins! This summer I'm going to try to trace them. I want to find my family.

[dairine-bonnet]

Random thoughts on Lynette von Valancius (and possible relationship between RT and Heinrix)

I think when it comes to Heinrix, the RT's main intention may be to give him some grey hair and, eventually, drive him completely crazy. Probably, even to make his presence on the board hardly bearable, yet not confronting him directly. Why so? Because after Lynette spent years under the watchful eye of the Inquisition for some reason, without any real chance to make her rules, becoming RT is like a breath of fresh air for her. This title came out of the blue, but she intends to take as much advantage of that as possible.

Although teasing an interrogator and making his life less comfortable aren't the most signicant benefits, they're definitely enjoyable ones! She slowly gets softer with him. Still, he doesn't 'pass her trust check' until Commorragh. Shame, but even after that she has a few doubts about his true intentions nearly till the end of the game.

P.S. What's more, at first, subconsciously, Lynette'd like him to lose his mind, get back to Calcazar in such a condition, and corrupt the entire Inquisition there... (dark side points gained!)

[cancerbiophd]

hey can this be the concluding slide for a phd defense asking for a friend

[mutatedleemon]

@fishymom-art dragged me into Smile For Me fandom and I can’t crawl out back so here is my own Habisona

Mine and Fishy’s are sisters. My girl is Faynt Lockhard and she is trans and proud. Likes to hang out at carnival, but she is too shy to even talk to someone there. Her sister is the only one who can make Faynt even say a word.

Are you happy now?

[jahaliel]

life of the jah

help i’ve got two more sekiro fic ideas drafted i haven’t even seen the game to the end

also my job situation is... not good.  don’t want to details in case of y’know real life people somehow finding this.  but yeah.  any thoughts, prayers, good vibes, buying or recommending my poetry books (:P) would be appreciated.

(the finding another house situation is also not good.  i want out but yeah.  not going to vent.)

[prettylittlearrowfangirl]

I love that Eleanor took the lead when Michael was too broken to do it. He always admired how good a liar she was, and now she gets to use that talent for good.

[itsadrizzit]

Today is really one of those "I just want to sell all my belongings and live in a cave somewhere" days, huh.

[gay-sloth]

Someone give me a job pls thk u