Oct 7, 2020
SOCIAL DISTANCING DAY 191. Presented without comment. #sucks #suckstobeyou #everythingsucksrightnow #leafsuckingday #autumnalmanac #quarantinelife (at Noblesville, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CGBn4MoA_Od/?igshid=1pl2k5mfmvg3i
seen from Spain
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Iraq
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Czechia
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Spain
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
SOCIAL DISTANCING DAY 191. Presented without comment. #sucks #suckstobeyou #everythingsucksrightnow #leafsuckingday #autumnalmanac #quarantinelife (at Noblesville, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CGBn4MoA_Od/?igshid=1pl2k5mfmvg3i
My guinea puff passed away this morning. Not something I wanted to come home from work to. She was husbands little princess. She was a tough little guinea. Im going to miss fighting with her. Rest in peace guinea puff. #RIP #Heartbroken #GuineaPig #EverythingSucksRightNow
Feeling awful.
All I ever do is cry anymore. Crying about whatever is going wrong during the 12-16 hours a day that I am school. And guaranteed every day at least one thing goes wrong. Either with the class I'm teaching, the lab I'm running, or the dissertation work I'm doing. I am not exaggerating when I say there is something everyday that goes wrong. And it is so hard to deal with that all I can do is cry. And so I do. Every day.
No one sees me cry (except for my husband). But how long am I supposed to carry on this way? Nothing gives and no matter how much I try to tell myself that it's not worth crying over, it doesn't make a difference. It DOES matter and it IS worth crying over, because it's my life. The more that goes wrong, the more I have to do fix it. I never get a break.
I just have not been this miserable in so long. Not since I was young and doing stupid things that were making me unhappy.
I have too much on my plate now and there's nothing I can do about it. I have to suck it up or give up. And I really really really wish I could give up. But I'm guessing that would make me more miserable.
Meditation helps some, but since I can't meditate after every crisis, it's not helping me enough. And there is literally a 'crisis' a few times a day. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
The main stress: The more I fuck up, the longer I will be stuck in this hell. I can't finish my dissertation if everything keeps going wrong. If I don't finish, then I have to continue living this nightmare...on. and on. and on.
why please do tell me why nothing good actually happens to me. Why exactly when something great does happen or seems like it for sure will it is yanked away from me. Apparently something somewhere believes that i don't deserve to be happy only feeding me little morsels of happiness to keep me sane, but why get my hopes up...
>:c